I meant I learnt that dancing is nothing to be afraid of :)

And really, that is all there is to it. If you enjoy it (and eventually you will), it will look good to anyone.

But whenever possible, grab a girl for a dance. They love it. And you both have a great time. Unless you step on her toes, which I hope you will not.

Everyone can dance. It's only awkward when you feel awkward.

Everyone can dance. It's only awkward when you feel awkward.

Well, I feel really awkward...

Everyone can dance. It's only awkward when you feel awkward.

Well, I feel really awkward...

 

It sounds like stupid advice to tell you to just not feel awkward, but give it a shot and notice the difference. Go to this dance thing with said girl. Smile, and follow her rhythm. Feel the music. I promise you no one is going to care how you dance. The only thing that's going to matter is having a good time, and making sure your "date" is having fun as well.

Seriously, only guys who ever notice "awkward" dancing are the guys who are feeling just like you. Girls love anyone who dances, no matter the skill. Seen it first-hand.

True story.

Everyone can dance. It's only awkward when you feel awkward.

Well, I feel really awkward...

 

It sounds like stupid advice to tell you to just not feel awkward, but give it a shot and notice the difference. Go to this dance thing with said girl. Smile, and follow her rhythm. Feel the music. I promise you no one is going to care how you dance. The only thing that's going to matter is having a good time, and making sure your "date" is having fun as well.

I'll try my best. Chances are I'll end up dancing with multiple girls that are there... But I can deal with that haha

 

Seriously, only guys who ever notice "awkward" dancing are the guys who are feeling just like you. Girls love anyone who dances, no matter the skill. Seen it first-hand.

True story.

Let's hope that you're right. I trust you!

 

But also, how do I stop myself from thinking that everyone I meet likes me and that I'm going to like them? It's weird...

Why is that a bad thing?

 

 

But also, how do I stop myself from thinking that everyone I meet likes me and that I'm going to like them? It's weird...

 

Thats not really a huge issue. Some people may perceive it as self absorbed, but some people will just see it as confidence. And that's not a bad thing.

 

 

But also, how do I stop myself from thinking that everyone I meet likes me and that I'm going to like them? It's weird...

 

As long as you recognize that this is an illusion, and that not every girl you meet is instantly into you, you should do fine. I can see it becoming a problem if you ever loose sight of the fact that this really isn't true though. For the people asking why this is a problem, I would think this hinders your ability to detect how other people really feel about you.

 

I feel like it would be a good idea for you to try and find out what girls are actually into you, if you can (and this can go for anyone really, since just about everyone has trouble reading 'the signs'). Once you know who is and isn't into you, you know who to watch for signs, and you get behavior that maybe you thought meant something from other people that actually doesn't, and you can start to discard it. We all do this naturally to some extent, though knowing who is and isn't into you would make things much easier for your brain, since it sort of has to guess most of the time.

SAP (socially awkward penguin) moment :(

Cute girl on the bus caught my eye and smiled, and then tried to start talking to me. But as soon as she did, my stop came up. I just kind of left before I could figure out what to do.

 

Ended a 2 year relationship a few months ago and apparently I forget how to be single. I actually have no problem talking to women... I just need to feel like I have a reason, or maybe I need to feel like they feel like I have a reason to talk to them, if that makes any sense at all.

My previous relationships have been with women that I met through a common activity/location (went to school together, lived on the same floor in residence, etc), where I got to know them slowly and only verbalized the idea of a relationship when I was sure of the answer.

 

I guess the issue is that I no longer do things where I meet new people. There are only ~10 girls in my major including the one I broke up with, so meeting someone through classes is out. I work in an office doing research in a male dominated field. I only really go out when one of my more social roommates invites me somewhere, and it's usually with his group of friends.

Ask a roomate of yours to be a wingman for you. Go to your nearest bar and generally just try to loosen up a bit!

 

I think a lot of people feel weird talking to new people after coming out of a relationship - it's natural, seeing as you were so used to having your attention on one girl. Girls love to talk, so don't worry about not having a reason to talk to them. It's literally in a girl's DNA to talk and connect with people.

 

 

But also, how do I stop myself from thinking that everyone I meet likes me and that I'm going to like them? It's weird...

 

As long as you recognize that this is an illusion, and that not every girl you meet is instantly into you, you should do fine. I can see it becoming a problem if you ever loose sight of the fact that this really isn't true though. For the people asking why this is a problem, I would think this hinders your ability to detect how other people really feel about you.

 

I feel like it would be a good idea for you to try and find out what girls are actually into you, if you can (and this can go for anyone really, since just about everyone has trouble reading 'the signs'). Once you know who is and isn't into you, you know who to watch for signs, and you get behavior that maybe you thought meant something from other people that actually doesn't, and you can start to discard it. We all do this naturally to some extent, though knowing who is and isn't into you would make things much easier for your brain, since it sort of has to guess most of the time.

 

I disagree with this. When it comes to anything subjective (such as how you perceive yourself and others), I believe it is better to assume the best, even if it isn't "true."

 

Better to assume everybody wants to get to know you and that you will enhance their lives than to start doubting yourself and using that as an excuse to hinder your own self-development.

As long as you still take no for an answer, and are able to recognize no when it is given. That is what I am getting at. If you won't take no, or if you can't fathom that the answer would be no, then there is a problem. Probably would have been a lot better if I had thought up such a concise way to convey my point from the get go.

Yes I agree w/ that

How socially acceptable is it to blow up on a girl you plan on dating for keeping you up all night with drunk texts when she knows full well that you have to sleep well for a really long day and night the next day? Does it change the answer depending if she's saying she likes you verse ranting about her stupid ex problems?

No and no, unless you couldn't turn off your phone (alarm etc).

Blowing up on her is just gonna cause drama in the long run. I know as men we often have an urge to "set people straight" and "lay down the law" if we get pushed too far or annoyed beyond our limits... But the simple solution is to completely ignore her for a few days, cool off, go have fun doing whatever, and then reinitiate contact as if nothing ever happened.

 

And sadly it is socially acceptable for men to blow up like that, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

 

Though honestly I don't understand why you picked up your phone in the first place if you were trying to sleep. Unless I'm missing something, I think this is more your fault than hers.

Pretty much what the other two guys said. Send her a text saying you're turning your phone off because you need to sleep for tomorrow, then turn your phone off and go to sleep. Your fault for continuing the conversation, honestly.

She wasn't responsible for you staying up all night. You could have fallen asleep at any time you wanted too.

How socially acceptable is it to blow up on a girl you plan on dating for keeping you up all night with drunk texts when she knows full well that you have to sleep well for a really long day and night the next day? Does it change the answer depending if she's saying she likes you verse ranting about her stupid ex problems?

 

I forgot to ask in my original post...

 

Why are you asking what's socially acceptable or not? Why does that matter?

She wasn't responsible for you staying up all night. You could have fallen asleep at any time you wanted too.

 

well in this case the content of the text was what kept them up, and the "blowing up" didn't occur til later the next day.

So. You can't sleep because of what she texted you. I get the impression from your last post that she texted you that she likes you. Then you blow up on her the next day.

 

So, you blew up on a girl because she told you she liked you?

 

[spoiler=Innapropriate thoughts.]OH GOD I JUST REALIZED THE DOUBLE ENTENDRE

 

I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING

 

I just don't see the logic here.

in said hypotetical situation, lets say she said she was in love with her ex

in said hypotetical situation, lets say she said she was in love with her ex

Isn't your ex the one that dumped you for your friend? Your never going to be able to trust her around your friends again, so unless your life plan involves the two of you hooking back up and then becoming hermits forever, its not going to work out, so you should probably stop considering it. Also keep in mind that she was drunk, and that no one should ever hook back up with their ex because of what one of them said ever. I don't care if they compose a Shakespearean sonnet for you while wasted, its not a good idea.