Just to butt in half-way down: NEVER try to incorporate your mind into something else. the whole "cocky" thing might work to get a girl, but you'll be living with that regret that you have to keep on using false emotions that aren't you to impress someone, and often it will backfire.

 

 

 

just going out into the streets, seeing things, although you may not meet a girl, you'll gradually build up confidence and it will make it all that more easier just to spark a conversation up and talk to girls.

 

 

 

Off Topic: FunPhish, how the frig does a 12 year old child get weed while still in school? Is our society realy this messed up? :?

That is changing his mind frame. If he's walking around depressed and miserable, people will pick up on that vibe and avoid him. Seriously, sometimes changing isn't a bad thing. Although what you said is pretty much the same advice. It's just that if he thinks he feels better, he will feel and look better. I, for example, have taken up the habit of looking at myself and commenting on how sexy I am every time I pass a mirror. Silly? Yes. Awesome? Yes. And it builds confidence like a mother [bleep]er.

Nobody's going to give you some magical solution. You're in a terrible mind frame, for one thing. If you think it's impossible for you to meet girls or join a club or make friends, it will be impossible. If you think you're depressed, then you are! You need to start thinking you're a cocky, cool, hot piece of [wagon]. For one thing, start sitting up straight.

 

 

 

Now, for one thing: have you actually been diagnosed with Asperger's? Because it seems like anyone who spends a lot of time playing games and not being social thinks they do. Not trying to be an [wagon], but if you're a hypochondriac, you need to realize it NOW before it really gets out of hand.

 

 

 

Anyways. You have to start with your mind frame. You think every single thing to improve must be so hard, and your situation makes it impossible - all wrong. Don't want to get on the bus? Walk, take a bike. If you live in a moderately sized city, there will be plenty of places to meet girls. I mean, you could always wait for school, but that won't help as much as just walking around. Maybe go to a shopping mall. A big thing is, you need to make more friends, preferably ones that live close and/or drive.

 

 

 

If you only think you can stay in your house, your mind and body will force you into staying. You need to walk around, enjoy life! Also, I thought the legal drinking age was 16 in England?

 

First of all, thanks for replying.

 

 

 

Yes, I have been diagnosed with Aspergers. That is one thing that is concrete.

 

 

 

Making friends has always been an issue for me, the only ones I ever managed to get were those from school. But seeing as I've finished school that isn't an option. Although, I begin college in a few weeks, so that could be a chance. As for the alcohol, I promised myself I'd never drink. I hate the stuff anyway.

 

 

 

We don't really have shopping malls around here, all we have is a few shops people get stuff from, then leave. You just don't talk to strangers around here, if you do, you're considered weird and the ones you're speaking to will simply walk off.

 

 

 

Honestly though, I've heard all that 'act cocky, confident, hot [wagon]' stuff all the time. It makes it no easier. Believe me, I've tried getting into mindframes like that, but I can just never manage it. I'm NOT the sort of person who will act incredibly confident around complete strangers. I can act completly fine around friends, but not strangers.

 

 

 

wait till college...

 

 

 

What? He may not be ready if he goes to college. It's good to work on social skills as early as possible, the 8th grade through your senior year in high school.

He's in England, thus starting college in a few weeks.

 

 

 

Crazy England.

 

 

 

Anyways, I just noticed he said he didn't drink - ARE YOU CRAZY? You're of legal age, why the [bleep] not? Do you know how much opportunity that gives you? Bars are [bleep]ing great places to meet people! You don't have to drink yourself, and even if you do, it isn't hard to keep from getting drunk. It's just alcohol, come on!

 

 

 

Man, you don't know how lucky you are. Us Americans get our freedoms and responsibilities dragged out for as long as [bleep]ing possible. At about 5 years old and up, it's possible to be tried as an adult. 16, you can drive (generally). 18, you can smoke stuff, have sex, taxes, vote. But you don't get to legally drink until you've lived for 2 and one tenth decades! Thoroughly ridiculous. Prohibition was idiotic and it's left a lasting impression, leading to kids not knowing how to drink safely and many more drinking-related fatalities than in European countries where who gives a [cabbage], it's just beer.

 

 

 

Anyways. Go have a drink on me. Or, you know, on my IOU.

Off Topic: FunPhish, how the frig does a 12 year old child get weed while still in school? Is our society realy this messed up? :?

 

 

 

If you lived in America you wouldn't have to ask that question, especially the south. But I was homeschooled 6th-8th, and I've always hung out with an older crowd.

Just to butt in half-way down: NEVER try to incorporate your mind into something else. the whole "cocky" thing might work to get a girl, but you'll be living with that regret that you have to keep on using false emotions that aren't you to impress someone, and often it will backfire.

 

 

 

just going out into the streets, seeing things, although you may not meet a girl, you'll gradually build up confidence and it will make it all that more easier just to spark a conversation up and talk to girls.

 

 

 

Off Topic: FunPhish, how the frig does a 12 year old child get weed while still in school? Is our society realy this messed up? :?

 

 

 

I disagree.

 

 

 

Guys who try and remove all conflict with a girl/buy them stuff etc are trying to manipulate them. Guys who don't try and manipulate but aren't fun to be around are boring, and not flirting. Neither are natural.

 

 

 

You can't just say "well that's the way I am I shouldn't change." "Boring" or "shy" isn't a personality, it's a bad habit.

 

 

 

It's never about changing yourself, it's about being your best self. I'm a male - being alpha is natural, not fake and regrettable.

 

 

 

For example at a party I'm going to tonight, I could dress average and not really talk to anyone. I could also dress like a rock star, walk in confidently like I own the place and be "that guy" who is the center of the group. I sure know which one I'm choosing.

 

 

 

"Walking around" is a bad way to build up confidence, because you will get stuck in your own head. You're also wasting time that could be spent doing something productive. 3 second rule exists for a reason.

 

 

 

Weed is also very easy to obtain, even at 12. Whether it is 'messed up' or not is debatable.

He's in England, thus starting college in a few weeks.

 

 

 

Crazy England.

 

 

 

Anyways, I just noticed he said he didn't drink - ARE YOU CRAZY? You're of legal age, why the [bleep] not? Do you know how much opportunity that gives you? Bars are [bleep] great places to meet people! You don't have to drink yourself, and even if you do, it isn't hard to keep from getting drunk. It's just alcohol, come on!

 

 

 

Man, you don't know how lucky you are. Us Americans get our freedoms and responsibilities dragged out for as long as [bleep] possible. At about 5 years old and up, it's possible to be tried as an adult. 16, you can drive (generally). 18, you can smoke stuff, have sex, taxes, vote. But you don't get to legally drink until you've lived for 2 and one tenth decades! Thoroughly ridiculous. Prohibition was idiotic and it's left a lasting impression, leading to kids not knowing how to drink safely and many more drinking-related fatalities than in European countries where who gives a [cabbage], it's just beer.

 

 

 

Anyways. Go have a drink on me. Or, you know, on my IOU.

 

 

 

England is crazy. I don't get their school system at all.

 

 

 

The hell is secondary school? I would assume that would come after primary school. Anything before that?

 

 

 

It's all very complicated.

Blackdawn, if you just get yourself into the public and let people recognize your face, eventually strangers will talk to YOU. Just don't seem like it's wierd for you to be there, act like it's something you always do and something you're used to. Maybe it will start with regular adults, maybe a young kid will talk to you, who knows. All I know is that you have to start meeting people, anyone, anywhere.

 

That might be how it works in America, but in England it doesn't go like that. I've honestly never seen someone start talking to a complete stranger off the street. I DO plan on going out more, even if it's just a walk. Hell, I'm gonna try and go tomorrow. Although there are few places I can actually walk to.

 

You're going to college. Everyone will be talking to people they don't know, right? If you see someone that looks cool in whatever insane class system you have, just say "Hi, I'm [not blackdawn]. I'm in your class. How are you liking it so far?". That might be hard with Asperger's (though I know nothing about it) and that might not at all be what college is like for you then again... But try your hardest, think about all the times this summer you'd wished you had someone to hang out with, alright? Write it down on a piece of paper and if your confidence falters, read said paper.

 

That might be how it works in America, but in England it doesn't go like that. I've honestly never seen someone start talking to a complete stranger off the street.

 

Yes you have. It isn't much shown in today's society, but 20 years ago you could go up to any guy and have a good conversation with him. Some people (nowadays) like the generosity of saying a "Good morning" or a "How was your day?". It's something new to them and there lies your advantage. You just start small and build up. Just today I held a door open for a girl in my class, she said "Thanks!" I said "You're welcome", and she looked at me in some way that was odd...but in a good way. She looked at me a couple of times in class. The norm is you just go in first, hold the door only for yourself and don't give a rat's [wagon] about the person behind you. So going ahead and doing something new, and just talking with them or doing some nice thing, will build your confidence and maybe even your relationship options.

 

 

 

Another thing that might help you (and anybody else) is doing something that will FORCE you to talk with people. For me, it was looking for work. When I started, I was nervous and shy when I went into a store. At the end of the day, I was discussing working hours, filling applications, and talking with others at a good pace. (None of them replied back... -.- ) But it definitely helped me with talking with random strangers.

He's in England, thus starting college in a few weeks.

 

 

 

Crazy England.

 

 

 

Anyways, I just noticed he said he didn't drink - ARE YOU CRAZY? You're of legal age, why the [bleep] not? Do you know how much opportunity that gives you? Bars are [bleep] great places to meet people! You don't have to drink yourself, and even if you do, it isn't hard to keep from getting drunk. It's just alcohol, come on!

 

 

 

Man, you don't know how lucky you are. Us Americans get our freedoms and responsibilities dragged out for as long as [bleep] possible. At about 5 years old and up, it's possible to be tried as an adult. 16, you can drive (generally). 18, you can smoke stuff, have sex, taxes, vote. But you don't get to legally drink until you've lived for 2 and one tenth decades! Thoroughly ridiculous. Prohibition was idiotic and it's left a lasting impression, leading to kids not knowing how to drink safely and many more drinking-related fatalities than in European countries where who gives a [cabbage], it's just beer.

 

 

 

Anyways. Go have a drink on me. Or, you know, on my IOU.

 

 

 

England is crazy. I don't get their school system at all.

 

 

 

The hell is secondary school? I would assume that would come after primary school. Anything before that?

 

 

 

It's all very complicated.

 

 

 

Primary: Class years 1-6 leaving usually at 10 or 11 years of age

 

Secondary: Class years 7-11 leaving usually at 15 or 16 years of age

 

Sixthfrom i.e. pre university (college) education: Class years 12-13 leaving usually at 17 or 18 years of age

 

University thereafter.

Yes you have. It isn't much shown in today's society, but 20 years ago you could go up to any guy and have a good conversation with him. Some people (nowadays) like the generosity of saying a "Good morning" or a "How was your day?". It's something new to them and there lies your advantage. You just start small and build up. Just today I held a door open for a girl in my class, she said "Thanks!" I said "You're welcome", and she looked at me in some way that was odd...but in a good way. She looked at me a couple of times in class. The norm is you just go in first, hold the door only for yourself and don't give a rat's [wagon] about the person behind you. So going ahead and doing something new, and just talking with them or doing some nice thing, will build your confidence and maybe even your relationship options.

 

 

 

Another thing that might help you (and anybody else) is doing something that will FORCE you to talk with people. For me, it was looking for work. When I started, I was nervous and shy when I went into a store. At the end of the day, I was discussing working hours, filling applications, and talking with others at a good pace. (None of them replied back... -.- ) But it definitely helped me with talking with random strangers.

 

I wish I lived on the west coast. Holding doors and all that is in my blood. If it gets that good of a reaction, I'd be in business. Here it's just another thing everyone takes for granted.

I wish I lived on the west coast. Holding doors and all that is in my blood. If it gets that good of a reaction, I'd be in business. Here it's just another thing everyone takes for granted.

 

 

 

Yeah I was raised on southern hospitality, if you don't hold the door open for someone here then everyone is going to give you the stink-eye. Things like that should be common everywhere, it's not like people here are particularly nice, it's just decent manners.

Yeah, sort of surprised me, here everyone holds doors... Canadians are too nice to give you the stink-eye though.

Damn, I have no balls. There's this new chick in our class (class of like 35?) and she has a locker literally 1 locker away from me. I'm usually pretty good with meeting people but for some reason I just can't talk to her. I go to say something then all confidence drops. :-#

Damn, I have no balls. There's this new chick in our class (class of like 35?) and she has a locker literally 1 locker away from me. I'm usually pretty good with meeting people but for some reason I just can't talk to her. I go to say something then all confidence drops. :-#

 

 

 

It starts with saying something.

 

 

 

Like the old adage goes....

 

 

 

"Grow a pair."

I think it was in this thread someone posted something about girls and their CHEESY [wagon] love lines on their Myspaces. Look at this one.

 

 

 

"You gotta make your move before I can :)"

 

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Haha. A girl and guy I know broke up recently (I told them both they should break up when they'd been dating for more than the entire second semester, but they didn't even though they haven't seen each other all summer), and the girl's myspace changes every day from "Losing the one you love hurts :/" to "I hate him!" to "(other dumped phrase)". I think it's kinda funny, but I'm a major [wagon].

Haha. A girl and guy I know broke up recently (I told them both they should break up when they'd been dating for more than the entire second semester, but they didn't even though they haven't seen each other all summer), and the girl's myspace changes every day from "Losing the one you love hurts :/" to "I hate him!" to "(other dumped phrase)". I think it's kinda funny, but I'm a major [wagon].

 

One person I know is like that too. She updates her status on fb constantly and it's either lovey dovey, or hating him. It's hilarious, because she's the classic ditsy blond cheer leader. Heh.

Here's a gem from a girl I know.

 

 

 

"The worst thing that could possibly happen to someone, is loving someone, who used to love you."

 

 

 

I could think of a few things worse, but hey, y'know, sure.

Here's a gem from a girl I know.

 

 

 

"The worst thing that could possibly happen to someone, is loving someone, who used to love you."

 

 

 

I could think of a few things worse, but hey, y'know, sure.

 

 

 

I'll top that with a quote from a good friend

 

 

 

"The worst feeling in the world is loving someone that acknoledges you, but then goes out with your best friend. Then not knowing what to do about it"

 

 

 

I wasn't the guy who picked up the girl but yeah...that was ugly for a few months.

Hey, not exactly asking for advice here, but just wanted to get this outta' me.

 

 

 

So 2 days ago, I was at a party. I get a call from one of my best friends (she's a really popular girl at my high school) and they ask me to come and meet her and and some of her friends. I bring my buddy along and we meet up with them at a nearby park. Now, my buddy and I have had a lot to drink and clearly arent thinking straight. We get to the park and see my friend, who we will call J and her other friends around her. Some background information is that I am pretty popular at school, but not as popular as these girls. To compare, if anyone used to watch The OC, I'm quite like Seth Cohen (who's humor consists of wit and making jokes much too soon, although I am more popular than he was at his school :P). Anyways, on with the story, J's friend, who we will call M, is definately the best looking girl in my school. Shes a 10/10, however, the downfall is that she just doesnt know how to treat people as well as they deserve. Because of this, me and her pretty much have a grudge with eachother and this shows whenever I am drunk around her I will pretty much tell her she is a [bleep]. But, this time was different. I went up to J and started talking to her and then M grabs me and pulls me aside (obviously very strange because we dont get along and shes the most popular girl in school). Anyways, she asks me why I think she hates me, and I give her a couple reasons. We keep talking and eventually it leads to me telling her how to be nicer. I say that maybe she could actually acknowledge me in the halls once in a while and she responds saying "Well, why dont you ever say hi to me?", because of my intoxication, I respond because your are very intimidating - she asks how - I say "You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met." After that, well, shes pretty much shocked I said that, and we continue the convo and I walk all the girls back to J's house and say goodnight.

 

 

 

So, yesterday I get a call from J and dont remember MUCH from last night, but I do remember what I said to her. Turns out she told all those girls what I said and I am just curious as to what they will say to me the next time I see them!

 

 

 

This was probably a pretty damn pointless post and I am sorry if I wasted your time, but I hope you understand I just wanted to tell somebody, because my best buddy is on vacation.

Here's a gem from a girl I know.

 

 

 

"The worst thing that could possibly happen to someone, is loving someone, who used to love you."

 

 

 

I could think of a few things worse, but hey, y'know, sure.

 

 

 

I'll top that with a quote from a good friend

 

 

 

"The worst feeling in the world is loving someone that acknoledges you, but then goes out with your best friend. Then not knowing what to do about it"

 

 

 

I wasn't the guy who picked up the girl but yeah...that was ugly for a few months.

 

:lol: So blunt.

Hey, not exactly asking for advice here, but just wanted to get this outta' me.

 

 

 

So 2 days ago, I was at a party. I get a call from one of my best friends (she's a really popular girl at my high school) and they ask me to come and meet her and and some of her friends. I bring my buddy along and we meet up with them at a nearby park. Now, my buddy and I have had a lot to drink and clearly arent thinking straight. We get to the park and see my friend, who we will call J and her other friends around her. Some background information is that I am pretty popular at school, but not as popular as these girls. To compare, if anyone used to watch The OC, I'm quite like Seth Cohen (who's humor consists of wit and making jokes much too soon, although I am more popular than he was at his school :P). Anyways, on with the story, J's friend, who we will call M, is definately the best looking girl in my school. Shes a 10/10, however, the downfall is that she just doesnt know how to treat people as well as they deserve. Because of this, me and her pretty much have a grudge with eachother and this shows whenever I am drunk around her I will pretty much tell her she is a [bleep]. But, this time was different. I went up to J and started talking to her and then M grabs me and pulls me aside (obviously very strange because we dont get along and shes the most popular girl in school). Anyways, she asks me why I think she hates me, and I give her a couple reasons. We keep talking and eventually it leads to me telling her how to be nicer. I say that maybe she could actually acknowledge me in the halls once in a while and she responds saying "Well, why dont you ever say hi to me?", because of my intoxication, I respond because your are very intimidating - she asks how - I say "You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met." After that, well, shes pretty much shocked I said that, and we continue the convo and I walk all the girls back to J's house and say goodnight.

 

 

 

So, yesterday I get a call from J and dont remember MUCH from last night, but I do remember what I said to her. Turns out she told all those girls what I said and I am just curious as to what they will say to me the next time I see them!

 

 

 

This was probably a pretty damn pointless post and I am sorry if I wasted your time, but I hope you understand I just wanted to tell somebody, because my best buddy is on vacation.

 

 

 

if they're like anything here they will laugh, you of course have the perfect alibi; alcohol.

 

if they're like anything here they will laugh, you of course have the perfect alibi; alcohol.

 

 

 

I despise when people use drinking as an excuse for thier actions. If you choose to drink, you also choose to take responsibility for anything you do while drunk. Those who don't understand that shouldnt drink. I could rant about the drinking age and so on from here, but this is more relevant than the rest of my opinion

 

if they're like anything here they will laugh, you of course have the perfect alibi; alcohol.

 

 

 

I despise when people use drinking as an excuse for thier actions. If you choose to drink, you also choose to take responsibility for anything you do while drunk. Those who don't understand that shouldnt drink.

 

Yeaaah I don't the think the girls are gonna care.