To be honest, I'm not too into gaming either. I practice by flirting with women all the time, but it's not like I take 'em all home. Like you said, a relationship just feels right. But there's a big difference between a relationship, and dating. When you realize the difference for yourself, you'll make the realization I have.

 

As for age difference?

Depends on the culture and maturity. For the most part though, 16 year olds should stick to the 15-17 crowd. Under 15 shouldn't date, and 18 should stick to 17+. But taht's just my opinion.

 

 

that was quite a read, and welcome to the forums.

 

One easy (well sounds alot easier when typing it on the internet) thing to do would to be to just simply ask her

 

I'd be waay to nervous or something to just straight up ask her if she wanted to be friends or more...

 

 

 

Scorched

I admit, those are some mighty mixed signals you got going there. I enjoyed reading that story, very thorough, very detailed and down right enjoyable. It seems like you're at a cross raods. I think you could actually choose to go either way with her (friend or girlfriend).

 

Supporting the just friends:

1) Awkward after make out

2) lack of contact

3) no physical contact while hanging out (You even admitted regretting not trying anything, but lord almighty if you get the opurtunity to do something DO IT)

Suppporting Girlfriend:

1) Get along well

2) late night phone calls

3) make out

4) "old fashion" could explain odd behavior

5) understanding of eachother

 

that Helps a lot but with the physical contact thing. If I do it and she's like weirded out by it or something, what should I do? Play it off as a joke or something?

So I just got back from a new years party (happy new year). I guess I must have done something right, because I was laying in a bed with two girls for like two hours. Then one left (the one I'm actually interested in) and the other one kept hugging me and feeling me. She has a boyfriend.

 

They invited me to movie night, which they have almost every Friday. I guess I'll see where that gets me.

 

EDIT: Just want to add, we broke that bed. Whoops.

Well Scorched, if she is weirded out by physical contact then it would heavily support the possibility that she sees you only as a friend. In which case, don't play it off as a joke, but more of just being playful. If she still seems awkward about it, then sure pull the "I was just kidding" card. But realize that using that phrase denounces most build up you've had for the situation.

 

If she does like you and she's weirded out by the physical contact, that could be her "old fashioned" mentality. I don't know how old fashioned she really is, so I have no way of telling.

 

And to Blindbaker...congrats! (I think).

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

So basically, she's likely to be a cheating [bleep] when he's not around.

 

Though, if you misinterpreted my question, as you might have, I was asking if the girl (who has a boyfriend) was sober or not.

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

 

 

I was never a fan of that sort of attitude

Dan, I've disagreed with you on this point before.

We aren't all "gaming." Trust me. Gaming is a term that's used by you and others to describe your active pursuits of women. When I interact with women, I'm not doing it consciously, you, it seems like, for the most part are.

 

Girls wear high heels and miniskirts because our society places the emphasis on beauty, with beauty being defined as wearing high heels and miniskirts. Sure women make a conscious effort to wear these items, but only because our society convinces them that they need to.

 

And whether it does or not (and my personal opinion is that it is), "gaming" comes across as very objectifying of women. Take the very name for it: "gaming." Something done purely for pleasure, often not taken seriously or with any stake at all. You may say the name is meaningless, but no word or term is ever meaningless. The game basically takes all women and clumps them together in one inescapable category to which they all belong and most definitely have all of these attributes, so this is how you should treat them to get them to cooperate with whatever you want them to do. Sounds a bit like manipulation to me, and personally I'm not okay with that. Yes, we do it subconsciously all the time, but there is a big difference between subconsciously manipulating someone and consciously doing so. Intent and morality exist and interact in both situations.

 

I realize you disagree with everything I just said, and it's quite fruitless to argue with someone over the internet, but I have to make my side known whenever the question comes up.

If society is the only reason why girls dress attractively, why do some do it and other not? Why would society go that way in the first place?

 

We are all gaming, it's just the pursuit of women. That's what the community came up with, you can't really just put your own meaning onto it. Using things like attraction switches is considered good game. Doing things like spilling your heart to her before you get physical and following her around like a puppy is considered bad game. If you are attracted to her and want to be with her, and you act specifically around her, you're consciously trying to game her. Everyone does this, I act differently around my parents to my friends to if I had a gun pointed at my face. We act accordingly to the situation. If we didn't then humanity wouldn't be anywhere near as successful as it has been, and this thread wouldn't exist.

 

Your problem seems to not with doing it consciously, but having a complete strategy for it. I have no idea why having a strategy could be a bad thing. Those who use the strategy without thinking about it (naturals) seem to be ok, but what about the guys who can't naturally attract women as well as they would like? Should they be doomed to settling for someone they aren't completely happy with? Maybe that's part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high. I don't see what's fair about that. Seems to me 'you're get what you're given in life and that's it' is a good way to fail.

 

Rpg, I can see what you're talking about, but to be honest, I quite simply am not going to actively pursue a girl I do not already have interest in. And by interest, I mean more than just "Oh hey, she's kinda cute". I mean that I've met the girl, talked to her, and pretty much would consider her my friend. To me, the relationship just feels right. Nothing needs to be forced, I don't make any sacrifices because it will get me towards a goal, I'll make sacrifices because I want to do this for this person.

 

Gaming might be right for some people, but I'm not going to take part in it, or at least for now.

 

And since it's recently come up with me and my friends, what age difference would you say is acceptable? For instance, an 18 year old going out with a 16 year old? Would you say that how the people act and present themselves makes a difference?

 

How do you know if you would be interested in a girl you haven't met? If you just keep to the women who are thrust into your life with no choice (coworkers, friends of friends etc) then your choices will be extremely limited. Nothing wrong with talking to a random girl to see if you like her, after all, there is a qualification stage in what I do. But wait, if she is attractive then she will cold shoulder you and not allow normal conversation because she is used to guys hitting on her. Well that's fine, you're just seeing if you like her first. Better disqualify yourself as a partner to allow conversation to see if you like her. Oh damn, turns out you do like her but she just wants to be friends because you skipped to the comfort stage and didn't build attraction. Maybe your friend's girlfriend has a hot sister who will like you, then again maybe she's unattractive and if you want choice you have go to out and meet people yourself.

 

@both: Where does the line go? I'd be very surprised if you both read one of my posts saying something like putting a girl on a pedestal is a bad way to attract her and then not taken that into consideration when you meet a girl you like. Asking for advice here means you're looking for a strategy, it's not as black and white as you seem to think.

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

 

 

I was never a fan of that sort of attitude

Neither am I, but it just sort of happened.

 

Sword, yeah, I read that wrong. She was sober. As far as I know there was no alcohol at that party.

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

 

 

I was never a fan of that sort of attitude

Neither am I, but it just sort of happened.

 

Sword, yeah, I read that wrong. She was sober. As far as I know there was no alcohol at that party.

How can it be a party without drunk chicks getting taken advantage of? I'm ashamed in you.

Gaming and anti-gaming, we should really stop thinking on extremes. Middle ground, shades of gray. 'member that.

Everybody doesn't have the same need for a girl.

 

 

 

And since it's recently come up with me and my friends, what age difference would you say is acceptable? For instance, an 18 year old going out with a 16 year old? Would you say that how the people act and present themselves makes a difference?

(x/2)+7

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

 

 

I was never a fan of that sort of attitude

Neither am I, but it just sort of happened.

 

Sword, yeah, I read that wrong. She was sober. As far as I know there was no alcohol at that party.

How can it be a party without drunk chicks getting taken advantage of? I'm ashamed in you.

I think you're forgetting I'm fourteen. Besides, taking advantage of drunk girls? Really? :l

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

 

 

I was never a fan of that sort of attitude

Neither am I, but it just sort of happened.

 

Sword, yeah, I read that wrong. She was sober. As far as I know there was no alcohol at that party.

How can it be a party without drunk chicks getting taken advantage of? I'm ashamed in you.

I think you're forgetting I'm fourteen. Besides, taking advantage of drunk girls? Really? :l

Sarcasm pal, sarcasm, and not being serious, taking advantage of drunk girls is horrible, kids that do that should get their [wagon] kicked, and people around where I live take advantage of drunk chicks quite often. not good, not good at all.

But what's wrong with drinking at fourteen?

If a girl has sex while drink it means she did want to. The alcohol just does things like remove her concern about being though of as a [bleep].

 

Anyway, the rule is that if you're drunk too it's fine.

Blindbaker, was the girl who has a boyfriend sober?

He wasn't there.

 

 

I was never a fan of that sort of attitude

Neither am I, but it just sort of happened.

 

Sword, yeah, I read that wrong. She was sober. As far as I know there was no alcohol at that party.

How can it be a party without drunk chicks getting taken advantage of? I'm ashamed in you.

I think you're forgetting I'm fourteen. Besides, taking advantage of drunk girls? Really? :l

Sarcasm pal, sarcasm, and not being serious, taking advantage of drunk girls is horrible, kids that do that should get their [wagon] kicked, and people around where I live take advantage of drunk chicks quite often. not good, not good at all.

But what's wrong with drinking at fourteen?

Well, the party was at my friend's house. I don't know about you, but here, parents don't leave a bunch of fourteen year olds home alone with beer and girls on New Year's Eve.

They're not supposed to know there's alcohol involved. #-o

They're not supposed to know there's alcohol involved. #-o

Quite easy to pull off to be honest.

They're not supposed to know there's alcohol involved. #-o

Quite easy to pull off to be honest.

Not the way the house is set up. Plus the room we were in was divided by a shelf and a thin translucent wall thing, where everyone else was on the other side. And the fact that there was no alcohol in the house didn't help much either.

You shouldn't drink at 14 in my opinion, even if you could. Too young.

You're drunk, its your fault.

If a girl has sex while drink it means she did want to. The alcohol just does things like remove her concern about being though of as a [bleep].

 

Anyway, the rule is that if you're drunk too it's fine.

That's not a rule, and I wouldn't run by it if you want to be guaranteed not to be prosecuted for rape. Just because you're both drunk doesn't excuse anyone of responsibility. Sex while drunk is risky, as it blurs the line of informed consent. Sorry for being on your case again Dan, I generally don't like conflict. This is just an issue my best friend puts a lot of work into as a self-proclaimed feminist (He's a guy.). It's also something that my campus tries to get across to people frequently. They ran a campaign earlier this year around the idea of "Got consent?" trying to get people to always get a (sober) yes for sex.

If a girl has sex while drink it means she did want to. The alcohol just does things like remove her concern about being though of as a [bleep].

 

Anyway, the rule is that if you're drunk too it's fine.

That's not a rule, and I wouldn't run by it if you want to be guaranteed not to be prosecuted for rape.

Either way I'd get arrested for underaged drinking.

Teen drinking argument aside (I'm very against it) the common rule is you can't take advantage of a drunk girl unless you are also unser the influence. But either way, neither party is allowed to use alcohol as an excuse. It never can be used as an excuse. As Dan put it, "it just takes away concern". It doesn't make decisions for you. And if you can't behave yourself when you drink...DONT DRINK.

 

And I didn't realize Blindbaker was so young. It kind of takes some of the context away from his first post on the subject.

imo, calling drunk sex rape is demeaning to the people who actually have been raped. It's a serious and horrible crime, not something that should be thrown about.

 

Also, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1546789/Drunk-women-can-consent-to-sex-judges-rule.html