"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[i_love_burritos]

How do you find out if a particular girl has a boyfriend without sounding like a jerk ?

[RpgGamer]

How do you find out if a particular girl has a boyfriend without sounding like a jerk ?

 

 

"So, a girl as pretty as you has to have a boyfriend, right?"

 

"It's not nice of your boyfriend to leave you all alone, y'know"

 

"Is it alright if I talk to you, or will your boyfriend beat me up?"

 

All favorites of mine to use.

[i_love_burritos]

How do you find out if a particular girl has a boyfriend without sounding like a jerk ?

 

 

"So, a girl as pretty as you has to have a boyfriend, right?"

 

"It's not nice of your boyfriend to leave you all alone, y'know"

 

"Is it alright if I talk to you, or will your boyfriend beat me up?"

 

All favorites of mine to use.

 

Those types of responses were the first to come to my mind. But they're not exactly subtle, and they'll know instantaeneously what your looking for.

[RpgGamer]

No not at all. But why beat around the bush, when he bush could be beating around you?

 

...that made less sense than I wanted it to.

 

Point is, theres no need to be subtle around women. 90% of the time they're playing dumb and actually know exactly what you're driving at anyway. They just like seeing us squirm. Do yourself a favor and be direct. Well...not exactly direct, but like my examples. They understand taht all you rreally want to know is if they're available. But its a tad less awkward than saying "Hey you gotta boyfriend or what?". Atleast I think so.

[i_love_burritos]

No not at all. But why beat around the bush, when he bush could be beating around you?

 

...that made less sense than I wanted it to.

 

Point is, theres no need to be subtle around women. 90% of the time they're playing dumb and actually know exactly what you're driving at anyway. They just like seeing us squirm. Do yourself a favor and be direct. Well...not exactly direct, but like my examples. They understand taht all you rreally want to know is if they're available. But its a tad less awkward than saying "Hey you gotta boyfriend or what?". Atleast I think so.

 

Hmmm. Okay.

 

Your theory sounds reasonable.

[EdgedThesis]

"Hey you gotta boyfriend or what?"

 

^Say this, and with a New Yorker accent.

Ideally, you'd have a hotdog dripping mustard all over your shirt and an over-large hat as well.

[Lenticular_J]

Ok so I took Dan's advice and have read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible (which I found with help from Aura) and am going to use that book to help me out. Tomorrow I am going with my mum and sister into town (she has a music lesson and will be wanting to shop anyway) to look for new clothes. Hoping to be able to ditch mum so I can make all my decisions without her putting in her well meant, but counterproductive, opinions.

Don't take your mooooooooooooooooooooom. Take a lady friend that is attractive but you are unattracted to or, even better, a gay friend.

[Hobgoblinpie]

Ok so I took Dan's advice and have read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible (which I found with help from Aura) and am going to use that book to help me out. Tomorrow I am going with my mum and sister into town (she has a music lesson and will be wanting to shop anyway) to look for new clothes. Hoping to be able to ditch mum so I can make all my decisions without her putting in her well meant, but counterproductive, opinions.

Don't take your mooooooooooooooooooooom. Take a lady friend that is attractive but you are unattracted to or, even better, a gay friend.

 

I agree with Lent. It shouldn't be too hard to find a good looking friend to help you out. Gay guys are also good for fashion advice. People from your family are the worst to ask for fashion advice (in my opinion).

[meol]

What a curious question to ask on this thread, but how do girls react when they're into you, and not just interested in you as a friend? Misjudgement here would lead to some serious awkwardness I would very much avoid.

[Sam]

How do you find out if a particular girl has a boyfriend without sounding like a jerk ?

 

Facebook, my dumbfounded friend.

[Furah]

Ok so I took Dan's advice and have read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible (which I found with help from Aura) and am going to use that book to help me out. Tomorrow I am going with my mum and sister into town (she has a music lesson and will be wanting to shop anyway) to look for new clothes. Hoping to be able to ditch mum so I can make all my decisions without her putting in her well meant, but counterproductive, opinions.

Don't take your mooooooooooooooooooooom. Take a lady friend that is attractive but you are unattracted to or, even better, a gay friend.

I only went with mum because she was paying for it as a Christmas present for me. Going to save up money from now and take some very lovely ladies with me in the new year though.

[RpgGamer]

Ok so I took Dan's advice and have read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible (which I found with help from Aura) and am going to use that book to help me out. Tomorrow I am going with my mum and sister into town (she has a music lesson and will be wanting to shop anyway) to look for new clothes. Hoping to be able to ditch mum so I can make all my decisions without her putting in her well meant, but counterproductive, opinions.

Don't take your mooooooooooooooooooooom. Take a lady friend that is attractive but you are unattracted to or, even better, a gay friend.

I only went with mum because she was paying for it as a Christmas present for me. Going to save up money from now and take some very lovely ladies with me in the new year though.

 

 

That's about the only excuse I would have for bringing my my mom shopping. It took years to convince my mom I was capable of finding my own style of clothing. Poor woman is still terrified of Hot Topic :lol:

[Furah]

Ok so I took Dan's advice and have read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible (which I found with help from Aura) and am going to use that book to help me out. Tomorrow I am going with my mum and sister into town (she has a music lesson and will be wanting to shop anyway) to look for new clothes. Hoping to be able to ditch mum so I can make all my decisions without her putting in her well meant, but counterproductive, opinions.

Don't take your mooooooooooooooooooooom. Take a lady friend that is attractive but you are unattracted to or, even better, a gay friend.

I only went with mum because she was paying for it as a Christmas present for me. Going to save up money from now and take some very lovely ladies with me in the new year though.

 

 

That's about the only excuse I would have for bringing my my mom shopping. It took years to convince my mom I was capable of finding my own style of clothing. Poor woman is still terrified of Hot Topic :lol:

Poor woman indeed. My mum is surprisingly, well, 'hip' and looks around in the popular shops with my 2 sisters, I still try to avoid shopping with her though, she's no good at picking out clothes I'd wear.

[i_love_burritos]

Shopping for clothes ? That too stylish and classy ones ? To help in attracting the ladies ?

 

I hardly go shopping, almost never for clothes. Pants, shorts, shirts. No outlandish designs, no stupid jacket vests or suede shoes or fedora hats or suspenders or that stuff. No silks, no satins, just plain cotton for me.

 

Why cant anyone be plain anymore ?

 

Why does everyone have to wear the Amazon [bleep]ing Rainforest ?

[Furah]

Shopping for clothes ? That too stylish and classy ones ? To help in attracting the ladies ?

 

I hardly go shopping, almost never for clothes. Pants, shorts, shirts. No outlandish designs, no stupid jacket vests or suede shoes or fedora hats or suspenders or that stuff. No silks, no satins, just plain cotton for me.

 

Why cant anyone be plain anymore ?

 

Why does everyone have to wear the Amazon [bleep]ing Rainforest ?

These qualities help immensely when attracting women. Currently trying to change for the 2nd one. :cool:

 

- Dominant

- Attractive

- Elite

- Access to resources

 

Just read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible.

[Kiriyama]

Ok so yesterday I was on msn and my sisters good friend told me she likes me. I wasn't really surprised but I don't really know what to do. She never asked me out or anything and I just continued to talk to her for a while. I don't know if I would date her, she's two years younger than me (im grade 9 shea in 7, im pretty sure shes 13) and I don't know what my parents would think, let alone my friends. I don't think I like her, but if she were to ask me out I don't know what I would do.

 

Then it's pretty obvious, you reject her if she asks, rather than lead her on.

 

I think I meant something more like that I don't like her enough to pursue her if she was just a girl at school, but if she were to ask me out I would say yes

 

Well, clearly you are not mature enough to be in a relationship if you take a stance like that.

[Hobgoblinpie]

Shopping for clothes ? That too stylish and classy ones ? To help in attracting the ladies ?

 

I hardly go shopping, almost never for clothes. Pants, shorts, shirts. No outlandish designs, no stupid jacket vests or suede shoes or fedora hats or suspenders or that stuff. No silks, no satins, just plain cotton for me.

 

Why cant anyone be plain anymore ?

 

Why does everyone have to wear the Amazon [bleep]ing Rainforest ?

These qualities help immensely when attracting women. Currently trying to change for the 2nd one. :cool:

 

- Dominant

- Attractive

- Elite

- Access to resources

 

Just read Brad P.'s Fashion Bible.

 

If you bought that 'bible' I sincerely hope you can get a refund. I would have expected most males to know that dominance is a key part in attracting females. It is just going over the basics (from what I see that you have posted).

[Omar]

That's the "Introduction" part of the book.

[Hobgoblinpie]

That's the "Introduction" part of the book.

 

Ah, that might explain why is was so vague and obvious. I should probably read it myself before making judgements, but seeing as I'm not going to read it, I just wont say anything more about it. Mage_Man, let us know how it goes :)

[Furah]

That's the "Introduction" part of the book.

 

Ah, that might explain why is was so vague and obvious. I should probably read it myself before making judgements, but seeing as I'm not going to read it, I just wont say anything more about it. Mage_Man, let us know how it goes :)

You guys will find out how it goes soon enough. :-w

[fruitdisc00]

When RL fails, come to my old favorite online community...this alias turned out to be handy after all...

 

I usually post really vague questions on here to avoid recognition, fell less shameless... However, I'm at crossroads, and I figured I could entertain you guys with a nice, long trip into my past.

 

About a year ago, I became best friends with this girl, and we became really close. We gradually started to flirt...she told me that she liked me, and I told her that I had felt the same way for a while. Things, for once in my (retrospectively pathetic) life, started to look up. Although, there was another guy she liked, too. He was a jerk, a pervert, and he just wanted in her pants. That wasn't just my judgment behind my blind eyes, either, but that was what he was known for. After a few more weeks of thinking about her all the time, feeling different about her than any other girl I'd liked, she told me she didn't like me, that I was more of a brother to her. (Imagine that!) And she started dating Jerkguy. It really hurt me.

 

That, along with other things, made me fall into a period of (serious, not attention-seeking) depression for a while...but I managed. While they were happy, I tried to move other another girl, but then failed in the friendzone again. That led to the end of the school year. That summer, I basically just punched life in the face. Sick of depression, sick of always failing, sick of being pathetic. And I matured and changed really fast. I'm not the pathetic, chubby, weird kid I once was a year ago. This year, I'm popular, I have girls going after me, and overall, I turned out to be pretty awesome. And, after a year of Jerkguy pressuring her to do things she didn't want to, eventually leading to a lot of controlling, and emotional strain, they broke up. Now, the girl, who has still, throughout that time, always been my best friend, and the one girl in my life that I can honestly say I unconditionally love, has now fallen for me.

 

I really don't know what to do. We're even closer this year, and she hates herself for the decision she made. I've forgiven her, and we've talked about it so much...I don't doubt her, don't doubt that I would be a rebound, or that she would screw me over again. We're so close, beyond just talking...and I want it to go somewhere.

 

As I've posted before, after the change, although being very success, I kinda lost faith in relationships. Couldn't imagine being with anyone on an intimate level, just because of being screwed over so much. I guess it was a learned self-defense, after never having a successful relationship. I dunno.

 

In my circle of really close friends, every single one of them are just telling me that this is a bad idea. Every single one of them. They say I'm being blind, that she's a flirt, she'll screw me over again, that I'll believe anything she says, that I need to find another girl, now that I'm a changed person. That I'm already in too deep. Get out now, because they don't want to see me get hurt again.

 

From my point of view, I would really rather just be with my best friend. Because I do love her, and because we both make each other really happy, and we have a connection I can't picture being able to share with anyone else. I don't think she'll screw me over again. I don't doubt her. I want to give her a second chance and be with her. When it comes down to it, I would really, really rather have her, then just throw all of it away to chase after some random girl that probably wouldn't work out anyways, which all of my close friends want me to do.

 

I'm at crossroads. What should I do?...

[RpgGamer]

So you're deciding between your pride and your girl? I know it seems almost low to take her now, but it seems like shes's realized her mistake. And that makes sure that this relationship will be much better than her last (especially because its you and not Jerk). I say take her as your girlfriend and see where it goes. If it shows the slightest sign of faltercation, claim you don't want to jeapordize the friendship and return to just being very close friends.

[Wisp]

Well, if you can accept that it might end badly, and are willing to face the consequences of that, then go for it.

I say do it. You might get hurt, but if you do, you'll learn and have gained some valuable experience relationship-wise.

[BlindBaker]

The two posts above this one seem like pretty good ideas to me. I say go with them. :thumbup:

[l0l0lpur34]

When RL fails, come to my old favorite online community...this alias turned out to be handy after all...

 

I usually post really vague questions on here to avoid recognition, fell less shameless... However, I'm at crossroads, and I figured I could entertain you guys with a nice, long trip into my past.

 

About a year ago, I became best friends with this girl, and we became really close. We gradually started to flirt...she told me that she liked me, and I told her that I had felt the same way for a while. Things, for once in my (retrospectively pathetic) life, started to look up. Although, there was another guy she liked, too. He was a jerk, a pervert, and he just wanted in her pants. That wasn't just my judgment behind my blind eyes, either, but that was what he was known for. After a few more weeks of thinking about her all the time, feeling different about her than any other girl I'd liked, she told me she didn't like me, that I was more of a brother to her. (Imagine that!) And she started dating Jerkguy. It really hurt me.

 

That, along with other things, made me fall into a period of (serious, not attention-seeking) depression for a while...but I managed. While they were happy, I tried to move other another girl, but then failed in the friendzone again. That led to the end of the school year. That summer, I basically just punched life in the face. Sick of depression, sick of always failing, sick of being pathetic. And I matured and changed really fast. I'm not the pathetic, chubby, weird kid I once was a year ago. This year, I'm popular, I have girls going after me, and overall, I turned out to be pretty awesome. And, after a year of Jerkguy pressuring her to do things she didn't want to, eventually leading to a lot of controlling, and emotional strain, they broke up. Now, the girl, who has still, throughout that time, always been my best friend, and the one girl in my life that I can honestly say I unconditionally love, has now fallen for me.

 

I really don't know what to do. We're even closer this year, and she hates herself for the decision she made. I've forgiven her, and we've talked about it so much...I don't doubt her, don't doubt that I would be a rebound, or that she would screw me over again. We're so close, beyond just talking...and I want it to go somewhere.

 

As I've posted before, after the change, although being very success, I kinda lost faith in relationships. Couldn't imagine being with anyone on an intimate level, just because of being screwed over so much. I guess it was a learned self-defense, after never having a successful relationship. I dunno.

 

In my circle of really close friends, every single one of them are just telling me that this is a bad idea. Every single one of them. They say I'm being blind, that she's a flirt, she'll screw me over again, that I'll believe anything she says, that I need to find another girl, now that I'm a changed person. That I'm already in too deep. Get out now, because they don't want to see me get hurt again.

 

From my point of view, I would really rather just be with my best friend. Because I do love her, and because we both make each other really happy, and we have a connection I can't picture being able to share with anyone else. I don't think she'll screw me over again. I don't doubt her. I want to give her a second chance and be with her. When it comes down to it, I would really, really rather have her, then just throw all of it away to chase after some random girl that probably wouldn't work out anyways, which all of my close friends want me to do.

 

I'm at crossroads. What should I do?...

Cut ALL contact with the girl NOW, she knows you're obsessed with her so you'll be like putty in her hands so she can mess you around for a bit then leave you for another "jerk". Oneitis is a difficult disease to recover from but if you recongise it you can overcome it. (It's an extremely dangerous one too). The second you became "best friends" with her, your chance of having a proper relationship with her evaporated.

 

Don't listen to these people saying you'll have a great happy relationship with her and should go for it - women can detect oneitis, and they both 1) find it very unattractive, 2) find it funny to take advantage of it when possible.