"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[brandon1023]

Ok appreciate your advice. I'll go try to talk to some people at lunch lol, not sure how that'll help.. But if I just plain walk up to her out of the blue, won't it look like I'm immediately trying to ask her out? or something along those lines? I don't want it too look like that lol.

[Zygimantas]

Ok appreciate your advice. I'll go try to talk to some people at lunch lol, not sure how that'll help.. But if I just plain walk up to her out of the blue, won't it look like I'm immediately trying to ask her out? or something along those lines? I don't want it too look like that lol.

It might seem like your interested in her, but that's not a bad thing. It would grab her attention and she might notice you more. :

[Goldenjkered]

Hey everyone, thought I'd just go over something with you guys (if you don't mind of course :)). Anyway I havn't had a girlfriend in a lonnnnnnnng time (I'm 17 by the way), but now I really would like one just to hang round with, go see a movie with or just plain cuddle :) (that sort of stuff anyway). I kinda fancy this girl, she works in a supermarket and doesn't live that far from where I live (handy :P). However, shes a pretty shy girl (more so around boys), and I've never spoken to her apart from maybe the occassional hi. I have however been in the same year and schools as her for about 10 years lol. I'd really like to go out with her, but I have no clue what to do here, help!

 

Here is my awesome advice:

 

 

 

Talk to her!!!

 

 

 

If she's shy, then start off with just a few sentences between each other. Slowly, she'll start to open up and let you in a bit more if she's interested in getting to know you. Then conversation should start to develop from there if there's anything worth chasing.

 

 

 

More often than not with shy people, it's not that they don't want to talk (she works in a supermarket, where she has to talk to people), it's that they're scared the people hearing them are judging them for what they're saying and how they're saying it, hence the preferred option is to not speak at all so people don't have the opportunity to judge them, resulting in their shy traits. Obviously being judged is not something many people find all that comforting, so give off the impression you're not judging her. Part of that involves not judging others, so look for something else to talk about. Perhaps something more personal, like a hobby (or hers), or what music you like.

 

 

 

The only concern I have for you is your attitude seems to be that you're getting a girlfriend for the sake of getting a girlfriend. I realise you're at the age where you're curious about relationships, but it's worth waiting to find someone who truly does go well with you rather than trying to pull the nearest girl going.

 

 

 

I'll tell you what. Most 17-year-old girls I know would give cuddles to friends, if what you'r really after is some comforting. It's not necessarily a sign of sexual attraction, but affection.

 

 

 

Thanks for the advice, but however there is a problem. I havn't talked to her at all in the 10 years that I've seen her in my schools. I just think it would be weird to go up to her and talk to her, I think it might freak her out a bit to be honest :oops:

[Quoi_Tu]

Thanks for the advice, but however there is a problem. I havn't talked to her at all in the 10 years that I've seen her in my schools. I just think it would be weird to go up to her and talk to her, I think it might freak her out a bit to be honest :oops:

 

 

 

I always think that too, but trust me, it's not a big deal. Just don't bring up that fact and kind of throw it out of your mind as well and you will feel a bit more relaxed. As a general rule of thumb, if you don't act awkward, then the other person won't feel as awkward as well. You know, the whole confidence thing.

 

 

 

In short, no worries, just relax.

[brandon1023]

For starters:

 

 

 

does no one have advice for me

Uhhh.. Don't worry about getting laid.

 

 

 

If all you want is to get laid, you will look like some sex-hungry pervert who will turn off alot of girls... I don't have a girlfriend, but I can tell, this is a big no-no. The last thing you want to look like is a pervert... This will ruin your rep.

 

 

 

As for my problems...

 

 

 

 

 

Ok appreciate your advice. I'll go try to talk to some people at lunch lol, not sure how that'll help.. But if I just plain walk up to her out of the blue, won't it look like I'm immediately trying to ask her out? or something along those lines? I don't want it too look like that lol.

 

Turns out she may have a BF... Some idiots in school today made up 'nation hug day'. Either way, after seeing her hugging someone in the hall today (not sure if it was he boyfriend or anything) that got me kind of fired up, and uber depressed at the same time. So, what should I do? For some reason, I felt depressed ever since then.

 

 

 

I decided to have my hair in my face since I was actually feeling emo lol, my friends said I look emo. I just feel terrible. Here I am thinking it will be an awesome day, but no, I see some idiot crashing it for me... So, like I said he may just be a friend to her. (hoping this is the scenario), maybe I will be able to strike up a conversation with her, but if anyone has any idea how to do this, I'd very much appreciate it. Although as I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure how to try and talk to her since I can only see her for about 2 minutes every 1.5 hours. So if anyone can help me... I'd greatly appreciate it.

 

 

 

EDIT: She is usually with a friend which sucks. I told my friend about it and he said that he can talk to her for me. But I don't think that is a good idea. Looked for her MySpace, but couldn't find her, was going to try to talk through there to her.

 

 

 

So, in conclusion, I'm pissed...

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks.

[Kenshinjapan]

 

Turns out she may have a BF... Some idiots in school today made up 'nation hug day'. Either way, after seeing her hugging someone in the hall today (not sure if it was he boyfriend or anything) that got me kind of fired up, and uber depressed at the same time. So, what should I do? For some reason, I felt depressed ever since then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I suggest you mature a little and realise that you don't have to be dating someone to hug them. If you get that fired up over a hug, people won't be surprised when you turn out to be a wife beater ( :-# ).

 

 

 

Hugs=nothing

[brandon1023]

 

Turns out she may have a BF... Some idiots in school today made up 'nation hug day'. Either way, after seeing her hugging someone in the hall today (not sure if it was he boyfriend or anything) that got me kind of fired up, and uber depressed at the same time. So, what should I do? For some reason, I felt depressed ever since then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I suggest you mature a little and realise that you don't have to be dating someone to hug them. If you get that fired up over a hug, people won't be surprised when you turn out to be a wife beater ( :-# ).

 

 

 

Hugs=nothing

 

I didn't say that's what got me fired up... What fired me up was that he may be her boyfriend. I'm not going crazy over a hug lol... And I am mature...

[Lenticular_J]

Ok appreciate your advice. I'll go try to talk to some people at lunch lol, not sure how that'll help.. But if I just plain walk up to her out of the blue, won't it look like I'm immediately trying to ask her out? or something along those lines? I don't want it too look like that lol.

 

Yes, it will. And that's what girls like. Blunt things attract them. Like my paladin's +4 mace.

 

 

 

I could so totally make a sex joke there.

 

 

 

But, anyways, all you have is a national hug day? Hah, you got off easy. Anyways, you can ask a friend of hers or something if they're dating. In middle school, and to some extent the early years of high school, people tend to make big deals of liking girls. Complete idiocy. Skirt chasing isn't a bad thing (as long as you aren't gonna rape said skirt, or something), and I pursue several girls at the same time. It's early in the year, so I would never make a move yet, but you can start setting it up. Get closer friends with her friends than her, and use the method I gave you earlier.

 

 

 

And don't amputate your feet.

[iLootChests]

Here is my thing here... There is this girl.. I knew her since last year. I never talked to her or anything. Now, the thing (started about the first day of school... Lol) is that I'm really starting to like her... Now, here is me: 13 about to turn 14. Not too shy. Never asked out a girl. :P. Not sure how I am with talking to girls. Never really talk to them, but I wish I can lol. Now, I don't know how it would be if I were to try to talk to her if I don't die first lol. But another thing is that I... Unfortunately, don't have her for a class. I'd be a little nervous to walk up and talk to her. Maybe someone can help :P. Thanks in advance if you guys can.

 

 

 

EDIT: My hair is a bit long... I have heard some bad things about it like I look like a caveman with it lol... Actually lol'd at this... Some girls have told me that they think it looks nice. I'm not going to walk up to her randomly and say: "Do you think my hair is nice...? Since I secretly have a BIG crush on you, I was hoping you'd say yes :P."

idk start with a few his every few days or if u kno a friend who is friends with her then go up to ur friend while he is talkin to her and at first u might be nervous but think of somethin else and idk bout u but im not nervous bout anythin and i tell everythin so idk jus go "hey ur hot" if u see a weird face then jus go jus playin and laugh, then if she goes "hey or somethin like tht say "nah ur pretty cute"

[brandon1023]

Well... Thanks for all the help guys, I feel that I have filled up most of this forum. That is not exactly what I wanted lol. Anyway, I do have one of her friends for my 3rd period class and my 7th period class as well. In 3rd, I sit behind her but then there is this jackass kid who sits next to me, so I don't really want to say to much, mainly wanting to punch him lol. So if I were to mention anything about the girl I like and he were to hear... That would be a very bad thing... Can't have him hear anything. Anyway, Netgear, I may try what you have said above, I will try to make friends with her friends... But then what do I do when I am friends with the girl who I sit behind since she is a friend of the girl I like. I know this is all starting to sound very confusing, and my vocabulary is rapidly diminishing... So I guess I'm going to wrap it up here... Maybe tomorrow will be something new (a depressing day or a good one :P). And one more thing.., I have also come to a weird realization that I'm only 13 and I'm going crazy here lol when I shouldn't for another few years... So I'm going to sign off.. I guess I just want to thank you guys for helping me out a bit lol. I hope something goes good tomorrow. And a last thing about my friend. Not the jackass... the one mentioned above, should I tell him, or just keep it low?... Alright, talk to you later.... Bye.

[Zygimantas]

Well... Thanks for all the help guys, I feel that I have filled up most of this forum. That is not exactly what I wanted lol. Anyway, I do have one of her friends for my 3rd period class and my 7th period class as well. In 3rd, I sit behind her but then there is this jackass kid who sits next to me, so I don't really want to say to much, mainly wanting to punch him lol. So if I were to mention anything about the girl I like and he were to hear... That would be a very bad thing... Can't have him hear anything. Anyway, Netgear, I may try what you have said above, I will try to make friends with her friends... But then what do I do when I am friends with the girl who I sit behind since she is a friend of the girl I like. I know this is all starting to sound very confusing, and my vocabulary is rapidly diminishing... So I guess I'm going to wrap it up here... Maybe tomorrow will be something new (a depressing day or a good one :P). And one more thing.., I have also come to a weird realization that I'm only 13 and I'm going crazy here lol when I shouldn't for another few years... So I'm going to sign off.. I guess I just want to thank you guys for helping me out a bit lol. I hope something goes good tomorrow. And a last thing about my friend. Not the jackass... the one mentioned above, should I tell him, or just keep it low?... Alright, talk to you later.... Bye.

do whatever you want i mean hey, whats the worst that can happen? Your friend tells everyone you like her? So what?

[brandon1023]

Well... Thanks for all the help guys, I feel that I have filled up most of this forum. That is not exactly what I wanted lol. Anyway, I do have one of her friends for my 3rd period class and my 7th period class as well. In 3rd, I sit behind her but then there is this jackass kid who sits next to me, so I don't really want to say to much, mainly wanting to punch him lol. So if I were to mention anything about the girl I like and he were to hear... That would be a very bad thing... Can't have him hear anything. Anyway, Netgear, I may try what you have said above, I will try to make friends with her friends... But then what do I do when I am friends with the girl who I sit behind since she is a friend of the girl I like. I know this is all starting to sound very confusing, and my vocabulary is rapidly diminishing... So I guess I'm going to wrap it up here... Maybe tomorrow will be something new (a depressing day or a good one :P). And one more thing.., I have also come to a weird realization that I'm only 13 and I'm going crazy here lol when I shouldn't for another few years... So I'm going to sign off.. I guess I just want to thank you guys for helping me out a bit lol. I hope something goes good tomorrow. And a last thing about my friend. Not the jackass... the one mentioned above, should I tell him, or just keep it low?... Alright, talk to you later.... Bye.

do whatever you want i mean hey, whats the worst that can happen? Your friend tells everyone you like her? So what?

 

So I guess I should tell him. Right? I just don't want him to tell her... :twss:

 

 

 

Then again... What if she has a bf already... :?

[Zygimantas]

Well... Thanks for all the help guys, I feel that I have filled up most of this forum. That is not exactly what I wanted lol. Anyway, I do have one of her friends for my 3rd period class and my 7th period class as well. In 3rd, I sit behind her but then there is this jackass kid who sits next to me, so I don't really want to say to much, mainly wanting to punch him lol. So if I were to mention anything about the girl I like and he were to hear... That would be a very bad thing... Can't have him hear anything. Anyway, Netgear, I may try what you have said above, I will try to make friends with her friends... But then what do I do when I am friends with the girl who I sit behind since she is a friend of the girl I like. I know this is all starting to sound very confusing, and my vocabulary is rapidly diminishing... So I guess I'm going to wrap it up here... Maybe tomorrow will be something new (a depressing day or a good one :P). And one more thing.., I have also come to a weird realization that I'm only 13 and I'm going crazy here lol when I shouldn't for another few years... So I'm going to sign off.. I guess I just want to thank you guys for helping me out a bit lol. I hope something goes good tomorrow. And a last thing about my friend. Not the jackass... the one mentioned above, should I tell him, or just keep it low?... Alright, talk to you later.... Bye.

do whatever you want i mean hey, whats the worst that can happen? Your friend tells everyone you like her? So what?

 

So I guess I should tell him. Right? I just don't want him to tell her... :twss:

 

 

 

Then again... What if she has a bf already... :?

why don't you ask one of her friends? then you will know...

[Rebdragon]

So I guess I should tell him. Right? I just don't want him to tell her... :twss:

 

 

 

Then again... What if she has a bf already... :?

 

[bleep] "if's".

[D Jay99]

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[Ginger_Warrior]

If you don't like talking about yourself, maybe you can try listening to other people about their experiences?

 

 

 

Obviously don't just walk up to some random stranger and start interrogating them, but the people you do get along with, just get to know them better. Then lines of conversation will start opening from that.

 

 

 

Apart from that, just generally try socialising more and you'll become more confident in the way you approach and talk to people. Also, try and take some time out of each day, even if it's only 10 minutes, for you to just relax and put life into some sort of perspective. It helps with confidence and self-esteem.

[D Jay99]

Obviously don't just walk up to some random stranger and start interrogating them, but the people you do get along with, just get to know them better. Then lines of conversation will start opening from that.

 

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[Ginger_Warrior]

It's a difficult barrier to overcome, but you have to realise that challenging your fears head first is the best way of solving them, because psychologically you start to realise there's actually nothing to be afraid of.

 

 

 

If you want conversation starters - and there are better qualified people than me on Tip.It who can give you advice here - I'd probably talk about what music they're into, or sport, or what they watched on TV last night or something like that.

[D Jay99]

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[Ginger_Warrior]

Okay, thanks. I guess I should just try to do it without thinking about it too much. They probably won't bite.

 

That's exactly the attitude you need. Good start!

[brandon1023]

Well... Thanks for all the help guys, I feel that I have filled up most of this forum. That is not exactly what I wanted lol. Anyway, I do have one of her friends for my 3rd period class and my 7th period class as well. In 3rd, I sit behind her but then there is this jackass kid who sits next to me, so I don't really want to say to much, mainly wanting to punch him lol. So if I were to mention anything about the girl I like and he were to hear... That would be a very bad thing... Can't have him hear anything. Anyway, Netgear, I may try what you have said above, I will try to make friends with her friends... But then what do I do when I am friends with the girl who I sit behind since she is a friend of the girl I like. I know this is all starting to sound very confusing, and my vocabulary is rapidly diminishing... So I guess I'm going to wrap it up here... Maybe tomorrow will be something new (a depressing day or a good one :P). And one more thing.., I have also come to a weird realization that I'm only 13 and I'm going crazy here lol when I shouldn't for another few years... So I'm going to sign off.. I guess I just want to thank you guys for helping me out a bit lol. I hope something goes good tomorrow. And a last thing about my friend. Not the jackass... the one mentioned above, should I tell him, or just keep it low?... Alright, talk to you later.... Bye.

do whatever you want i mean hey, whats the worst that can happen? Your friend tells everyone you like her? So what?

 

So I guess I should tell him. Right? I just don't want him to tell her... :twss:

 

 

 

Then again... What if she has a bf already... :?

why don't you ask one of her friends? then you will know...

 

Well... Thanks for all the help. Today were major schedule changes, so everyone in school has had their schedule changed. Hopefully the girl that I like has had her's changed. Today was the first half of the new classes. Tomorrow will be the second half to see if she is in one of my classes. If she is, then I'll be one happy person now won't I? Turns out, I have 'Mr. National hug day' for P.E.. Turns out he is not so bad. :twss:

 

 

 

Anyway, tomorrow will determine whether my school year will be good or not. Anyways, thanks.

[Lenticular_J]

Okay, thanks. I guess I should just try to do it without thinking about it too much. They probably won't bite.

 

Well, at least you'd have a conversation starter.

 

 

 

Turns out, I have 'Mr. National hug day' for P.E.. Turns out he is not so bad. :twss:

 

"That guy" is one of my best friends. :

[brandon1023]

Okay, thanks. I guess I should just try to do it without thinking about it too much. They probably won't bite.

 

Well, at least you'd have a conversation starter.

 

 

 

Turns out, I have 'Mr. National hug day' for P.E.. Turns out he is not so bad. :twss:

 

"That guy" is one of my best friends. :

 

Lol, you don't go to my school... How would you know him? :P

[Wisp]

Because national hug (international really) hug day has been made up countless times.

[Returned3]

Ok so recently my friend decided to help me with my crush problem by walking home with my crush and asking her stuff about me and this was what he told me:

 

 

 

Apparently, my crush knows that I like her but isnt going all "Never talk to me and avoid" as according to my friend, I don't get up all in her face or send her cryptic messages that I like her and let her live her normal life. When asked for her opinion on whether I was disgusting, this was her response: "No lah, he's okay what." [Note] She's also talking to me as per normal like she would and not avoiding me.

 

 

 

Is this a sign of anything or what? If so, could anyone kindly provide me with information on what to do next?