"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[constrictor]

Not entirely true, honestly.

 

If she seemed so relationship-y, for lack of a better term, with whoever Gingy saw her with, AND she acted the way she did to Gingy, then honestly, she's still an attention [bleep], or at least is coming across that way to me.

 

i agree, but how old is she? It boils down to maturity for me, and if she's say, 18, it's somewhat normal for people (not just women) at that age to be somewhat immature about relationships.

 

That's true, but I would say it's more insecurity than immaturity. Immaturity you can grow out of, insecurity, not as easily.

[Ginger_Warrior]

To be honest she didn't seem that relationship-y with him. It was more the other way round.

[RpgGamer]

Then he was probably trying to get it in. Welcome to campus life.

 

As for hitting on girls in relationships, I'm alright with being a thief if and only if:

1) I'm in a good place

2) Their relationship isn't serious OR Their relationship is unhealthy

3) She's unhappy in her current situation

4) I don't like/have never liked the boyfriend

[constrictor]

To be honest she didn't seem that relationship-y with him. It was more the other way round.

 

Well then, I'd go back to what you said earlier and agree with it. If she's not in a relationship, go for it. If she is and isn't content, don't be her fall back/trustee, let some one else (preferably someone who she won't rebound on to, so a girl specifically) fill that position. Then after/when they break up, wait a little then sweep and blahblahblah etc etc.

[TTanT]

So the coffee turned into lunch and overall I think it was a fairly successful date/meetup.

 

Also she has good taste in anime, and probably isn't an axe murderer (if she is she's a subtle one which is alright I can dig the occasional furtive homicide). I didn't get her phone number, but we did establish online contact so it's just a simple matter of popping her a message asking for it, now.

 

All in all it went pretty well, and now I have the standing to ask her out to an actual date without having to catch her after a class.

[constrictor]

No crazy eyes? That's always good.

 

Leave those for RPG.

[RpgGamer]

Send me your crazies.

[constrictor]

Send me your crazies.

 

For some reason just imagined you becoming like best friends with all things from the film, The Crazies.

 

/tangent

[RpgGamer]

Nipple-ring hot mom called me out of the blue to tell me about her road rage. She went full blown pissed off Puerto Rican. It was sexy. And scary.

 

I absolutely have issues.

[Roselia]

Is it a little weird to anyone, other than me, to see people dating in games? I don't mean that they're together and they play the game together. I mean they met on the game, and started dating on the game. Most of the people I've seen do this have never met the other person in real life & they're acting like it's a serious relationship. There is a certain RS couple that have been dating on RS for 2 years, but have never met in real life, texted, called, skyped or anything. It's 100% strictly RS, but the girl is saying they're going to get married in real life, and have kids. They both say they're in their 20's, but how can either of them be so sure?

[RpgGamer]

Is it a little weird to anyone, other than me, to see people dating in games? I don't mean that they're together and they play the game together. I mean they met on the game, and started dating on the game. Most of the people I've seen do this have never met the other person in real life & they're acting like it's a serious relationship. There is a certain RS couple that have been dating on RS for 2 years, but have never met in real life, texted, called, skyped or anything. It's 100% strictly RS, but the girl is saying they're going to get married in real life, and have kids. They both say they're in their 20's, but how can either of them be so sure?

 

yeah it's real weird, but I've also seen it work out real well more than once. If the relationship is to be taken seriously at all on an adult level though, they should atleast be able to contact each other by phone/skype. 2 years is a long time to never hear someone's voice.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I think from a sociological perspective, right now it's probably not normal for people to form relationships purely online. Although people can meet online, there does need to be some kind of face-to-face interaction in order to develop the emotional bonds that keep two people together. That norm will change as the world becomes smaller and technology means we're more well connected.

 

The talk about kids in particular isn't a case of social norms, though. It's a matter of what is practically possible. You can't possibly know through RuneScape how suitable someone is for bringing up your children. You can't even know if you'll find them sexually attractive. What you have is an avatar on which you've projected a whole load of emotions, many of which you don't really understand. That's why you need to live with a person first to see them "warts and all", and that's when you reflect on whether you really want them looking after your kids when you see their bad traits as well as their positive traits.

 

By "you" I meant anyone, not you specifically, of course.

[constrictor]

Nipple-ring hot mom called me out of the blue to tell me about her road rage. She went full blown pissed off Puerto Rican. It was sexy. And scary.

 

I absolutely have issues.

 

Absolutely.

 

That does sound kind of hot though.

 

[I_am_Geed]

Is it a little weird to anyone, other than me, to see people dating in games? I don't mean that they're together and they play the game together. I mean they met on the game, and started dating on the game. Most of the people I've seen do this have never met the other person in real life & they're acting like it's a serious relationship. There is a certain RS couple that have been dating on RS for 2 years, but have never met in real life, texted, called, skyped or anything. It's 100% strictly RS, but the girl is saying they're going to get married in real life, and have kids. They both say they're in their 20's, but how can either of them be so sure?

 

You really cant be so sure of it. But tot hem playing runescape is how they socialize and thats how they met each other, their rationality makes sense to them. While I neither agree or disagree or condone of their actions I guess whatever makes them happy right? But setting goals like that just sets you up for dissapointment. Especially if they never have met in real life or skyped or called or even texted. How do they even know what each other looks like? What if they arnt the gender they say they are?

 

I'm just glad I know my girlfriend in real life (we go to the same school) but we do play a lot of games together (mainly Diablo 3)

 

tl;dr for the tiny one paragraph mindless rambling; its hard to understand people rationality and perspective when you are on the outside, as far fetched as their beliefes souns.

[Omar]

Then he was probably trying to get it in. Welcome to campus life.

 

As for hitting on girls in relationships, I'm alright with being a thief if and only if:

1) I'm in a good place

2) Their relationship isn't serious OR Their relationship is unhealthy

3) She's unhappy in her current situation

4) I don't like/have never liked the boyfriend

I'd say if a girl cheats then she's not happy/their relationship isn't serious/it isn't healthy, so it's not really a prerequisite as much as something you find out if you don't get a drink thrown in your face (does anyone do that? just thinking about it hurts my wallet).

[Ginger_Warrior]

Is it a little weird to anyone, other than me, to see people dating in games? I don't mean that they're together and they play the game together. I mean they met on the game, and started dating on the game. Most of the people I've seen do this have never met the other person in real life & they're acting like it's a serious relationship. There is a certain RS couple that have been dating on RS for 2 years, but have never met in real life, texted, called, skyped or anything. It's 100% strictly RS, but the girl is saying they're going to get married in real life, and have kids. They both say they're in their 20's, but how can either of them be so sure?

 

You really cant be so sure of it. But tot hem playing runescape is how they socialize and thats how they met each other, their rationality makes sense to them. While I neither agree or disagree or condone of their actions I guess whatever makes them happy right? But setting goals like that just sets you up for dissapointment. Especially if they never have met in real life or skyped or called or even texted. How do they even know what each other looks like? What if they arnt the gender they say they are?

Yeah, I mean... I can understand how a relationship formed online without any face-to-face interaction might still be able to provide both parties the characteristics and aspects that they desire and need from a relationship. With relationships and sex, you have to accept that everything is "normal" so long as it makes everyone concerned happy. I think sexuality is obviously an issue since it can't really be expressed through RuneScape, but sexuality doesn't necessarily need to be expressed through intercourse and it's feasible that there are ways around that issue. Of course, a slightly more cynical reality might be that neither of them are expressing sexuality with each other, which will lead to repression of that sexuality which will eventually cause problems but, that's their judgement and their choice.

 

A baby though... that's another human being which will be born with a huge variety of complicated human needs, and if you're in an online relationship, there's no possible way you can make a judgement on whether the two of you combined can, in practical terms, provide for that child's needs.

[Randox]

Is it a little weird to anyone, other than me, to see people dating in games? I don't mean that they're together and they play the game together. I mean they met on the game, and started dating on the game. Most of the people I've seen do this have never met the other person in real life & they're acting like it's a serious relationship. There is a certain RS couple that have been dating on RS for 2 years, but have never met in real life, texted, called, skyped or anything. It's 100% strictly RS, but the girl is saying they're going to get married in real life, and have kids. They both say they're in their 20's, but how can either of them be so sure?

 

You really cant be so sure of it. But tot hem playing runescape is how they socialize and thats how they met each other, their rationality makes sense to them. While I neither agree or disagree or condone of their actions I guess whatever makes them happy right? But setting goals like that just sets you up for dissapointment. Especially if they never have met in real life or skyped or called or even texted. How do they even know what each other looks like? What if they arnt the gender they say they are?

 

I'm just glad I know my girlfriend in real life (we go to the same school) but we do play a lot of games together (mainly Diablo 3)

 

tl;dr for the tiny one paragraph mindless rambling; its hard to understand people rationality and perspective when you are on the outside, as far fetched as their beliefes souns.

 

Whatever floats your boat. The way I see it, it's another platform in which to meet people, and while I think going into a game to find a relationship is a terrible on idea in every way, it doesn't hit me as particularly odd that as a game friendship moves on to things like skyping with each other in and out of the game, that it could continue to progress. From there is voice chatting, and after that I suppose meeting up in real life at some point.

[I_am_Geed]

Then he was probably trying to get it in. Welcome to campus life.

 

As for hitting on girls in relationships, I'm alright with being a thief if and only if:

1) I'm in a good place

2) Their relationship isn't serious OR Their relationship is unhealthy

3) She's unhappy in her current situation

4) I don't like/have never liked the boyfriend

I'd say if a girl cheats then she's not happy/their relationship isn't serious/it isn't healthy, so it's not really a prerequisite as much as something you find out if you don't get a drink thrown in your face (does anyone do that? just thinking about it hurts my wallet).

 

 

[constrictor]

Reasons why I am becoming more and more anti-women.

[Giordano]

Its more of not investing so much to a particular girl and not expecting so much out of her.

 

Date for two months, trust her more than your best friend? Ha, good luck with that.

[Omar]

^This. You don't get disappointed when you don't have expectations.

[constrictor]

The question then is SHOULD we have expectations in relationships?

I'd argue to a degree, yes. As long as yu have communicated said expectations to the given partner.

[Ginger_Warrior]

A fair amount of 16-24 year olds in both sexes cheat. Some of that you can put down to sexual experimentation, but I wonder what the communication is like in most of those relationships. I'm reckoning if you feel a need to play away, clearly your current partner isn't doing something for you, and you probably didn't have the balls to talk about it with them. So you took the easy option and got it from someone else.

[Giordano]

Always prepare for the worst.

 

Knowing how widespread cheating, fighting, and breakups are, you're a blind fool if you expect the absolute best from your relationship. Define what you want first: monogamy, polygamy, open-relationship, closed, etc. but, like always, don't entirely expect your partner to fulfill these defines until you really know them.

 

Cynical, sure, but it seems like people find it easier to trust a girl becoming your girlfriend than a guy becoming your friend. What's the difference between friend and girlfriend in terms of trust, expectations, and reliability? In the early stages, not much. So why do people expect so much from their early-staged girlfriends? Social values, social pressures, and social traditions I'm guessing.

 

Trust them explicitly, I don't care. Just don't be surprised when they cheat or breakup with you. Tread with caution.

[constrictor]

A fair amount of 16-24 year olds in both sexes cheat. Some of that you can put down to sexual experimentation, but I wonder what the communication is like in most of those relationships. I'm reckoning if you feel a need to play away, clearly your current partner isn't doing something for you, and you probably didn't have the balls to talk about it with them. So you took the easy option and got it from someone else.

 

Sometimes, like in my once upon a time case, you speak and communicate it to them and they don't listen, which is when maturity plays in.

 

I agree with what Gio said for the most part, surprisingly.