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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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Inappropriate friend will most likely break up with her within the next month or so-- the reason he hasn't done so sooner was because they live together but after finals next week, they won't be living together anymore. He has no intention of marrying Cool Girlfriend unless she loses weight so he can be attracted to her again. He's more secure than most of our friends, but like I said he doesn't know if he'd be happier single. Also, every time we go out, hot girls flirt with him and he rebuffs them. He could've had a threesome with twins a few weeks ago. So things like that are another factor in his thought process lol

 

Chill friend seems "content" (not necessarily happy) with his relationship. I don't really know much about his relationship though.

 

[kitty]whipped friend is still a bit of an enigma. According to him, after dating for 3 years, he still hasn't told her he loves her. Though I find it a bit hard to believe that he hasn't developed feelings for her after spending so much time with her (whether his choice or not). I think he's slightly embarrassed about his relationship and his feelings. Anyway, he's a really attractive but unconfident guy. So when he drank and went out girls would do all the work for him. He was telling me earlier about how he can't even talk to girls drunk anymore. I inferred that he was suggesting he wouldn't be able to find another girlfriend so he feels trapped. I think he'd rather be unhappy than uncertain.

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In Inappropriate Friend's case, yeah it's basically fear of not finding an equally awesome girl. In [kitty]whipped Friend's case it's basically fear of not finding another girl, period. BTW [kitty]whipped Friend got into the relationship in the first place when she got him drunk, high, and then asked him out :lol:

 

I suppose I'd say the women my age are the ones "desperate" to settle down, whereas the men are the ones who feel like they have no choice but to settle down.

 

Anyways, after I wrote that big post I made a more coherent post addressing the issue of what kinds of things to ask yourself before you dive into a relationship or marriage. I'll share it tomorrow

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I came to realize I don't feel ready for actual sex.. other stuff yes like oral but not sex. Not yet.

 

Curious why one requires more readiness than the other, but if that's where you stand - alrighty then.

 

I'm not sure I see the reasoning is all

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I came to realize I don't feel ready for actual sex.. other stuff yes like oral but not sex. Not yet.

 

Curious why one requires more readiness than the other, but if that's where you stand - alrighty then.

 

I'm not sure I see the reasoning is all

 

I don't quite understand this either.. are you saying like you aren't ready to have sex with the girl you're with right now, or just in general?

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Puzzled, I am.

 

Afraid of pregnancy? Just take caution, and if that fails there's always abo- eh, nvm. Everybody flames me when I bring that up...

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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[hide]

I came to realize I don't feel ready for actual sex.. other stuff yes like oral but not sex. Not yet.

 

Sense great fear in you I do

 

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[/hide]

 

That is a damn good picture of Yoda. A damn good one.

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I agree. Yoda man muggi!

 

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Afraid of pregnancy? Just take caution, and if that fails there's always abo- eh, nvm. Everybody flames me when I bring that up...

They're right to flame you if you're bringing it up as an alternative to advice on safe sex.

 

Even those of us who fully support a woman's right to an abortion recognize that it's an incredibly stressful and painful process for a woman to go through, and when you consider there are so many forms of contraception out there, and so many of them easily accessible, it really is a very last alternative, and not something that should be planned for from the outset.

 

I'm interested about why Gabe feels he (or perhaps, the relationship itself) isn't ready for sex though. I don't agree that it's as simple as 'stick it in and lose your virginity'; there's probably reasons for him choosing not to have penetrative sex. I'm just not aware of what those reasons are because he never explained them. ;)

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I'm beyond afraid of getting her pregnent but the circumstances just aren't right yet. It's not more of the logical argument but rather one based on feelings about the matter.

 

I'm only 17 so its not exactly a tragety. People just tend to put too much pressure on the subject.

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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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I'm beyond afraid of getting her pregnent but the circumstances just aren't right yet. It's not more of the logical argument but rather one based on feelings about the matter.

 

I'm only 17 so its not exactly a tragety. People just tend to put too much pressure on the subject.

 

Hope you weren't offended by what I said earlier, I was entirely joking.

 

 

Being a 17 year old as well, I know how you feel. Doesn't really necessarily have anything to do with the person or the relationship, it's just there's no need to put pressure on the entire relationship for it.

 

Personally, being the relaxed-type of guy I am, sex will happen when it happens.

 

Maybe this is ignorance seeing as I'm still a virgin, and for all I know after the first time, it will become a bigger deal in future relationships, but as of right now, I see no reason to stress over it.

 

 

Just make sure to wear a rubber and generally be relaxed (though you're going to be stressing/freaking out anyways probably) as you go. Also, remember, don't be the first and last. Have some common courtesy (let her be last maybe? hehe; just saying).

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In Inappropriate Friend's case, yeah it's basically fear of not finding an equally awesome girl. In [kitty]whipped Friend's case it's basically fear of not finding another girl, period. BTW [kitty]whipped Friend got into the relationship in the first place when she got him drunk, high, and then asked him out :lol:

 

I suppose I'd say the women my age are the ones "desperate" to settle down, whereas the men are the ones who feel like they have no choice but to settle down.

 

Anyways, after I wrote that big post I made a more coherent post addressing the issue of what kinds of things to ask yourself before you dive into a relationship or marriage. I'll share it tomorrow

 

http://happysaint.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/red-pill-important-questions-to-ask-yourself/

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An interesting post, but far from being entirely well done. Personally, relationships are not about you. And that's why I think most of them fail is because people are selfish. All of those questions, literally almost every single one, had the word "you" in it, as in what "you" want for "your"self. Selfishness.

 

Yes, you shouldn't be a pushover [bleep] in all relationships, but there is a balance of servitude as well as personal preference.

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I'm beyond afraid of getting her pregnent but the circumstances just aren't right yet. It's not more of the logical argument but rather one based on feelings about the matter.

 

I'm only 17 so its not exactly a tragety. People just tend to put too much pressure on the subject.

 

I was that way when I first started having sex. Once she gets on the pill, rest assured - you're not getting pregnant (as long as you always wear a condom because that should be a given that you should always wear a damn condom).

 

I've had sex condomless twice in my life. Scariest moments ever, even with a girl I at the time was engaged to.

 

But hey, no pressure. Work your own pace and the like.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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@Ginger

 

The best way I have ever seen that phrased is simply "Your first time is going to be a humiliating disaster, no matter what you do"

 

 

These are the things they don't teach you.

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An interesting post, but far from being entirely well done. Personally, relationships are not about you. And that's why I think most of them fail is because people are selfish. All of those questions, literally almost every single one, had the word "you" in it, as in what "you" want for "your"self. Selfishness.

 

You're falling into the trap of believing that selfishness is somehow bad, and that relationships are not inherently selfish to begin with.

 

http://happysaint.wo...25/selfishness/

 

Why does "selfishness" cause relationships to fail? What exactly is wrong with being selfish?

 

Again, there's a difference between being selfish and being inconsiderate.

 

If you're unhappy in your relationship, then your relationship sucks. Following your logic, you're not allowed to help yourself because that would be "selfish." Are you supposed to depend on your partner to solve all of your problems for you? Even the problems which are caused by your partner in the first place?

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An interesting post, but far from being entirely well done. Personally, relationships are not about you. And that's why I think most of them fail is because people are selfish. All of those questions, literally almost every single one, had the word "you" in it, as in what "you" want for "your"self. Selfishness.

 

You're falling into the trap of believing that selfishness is somehow bad, and that relationships are not inherently selfish to begin with.

 

http://happysaint.wo...25/selfishness/

 

Why does "selfishness" cause relationships to fail? What exactly is wrong with being selfish?

 

Again, there's a difference between being selfish and being inconsiderate.

 

If you're unhappy in your relationship, then your relationship sucks. Following your logic, you're not allowed to help yourself because that would be "selfish." Are you supposed to depend on your partner to solve all of your problems for you? Even the problems which are caused by your partner in the first place?

 

Selfishness results in the decrease of community, not the increase.

 

If your relationship is purely to have sex and blah blah, then by all means be selfish. But relationships AREN'T just that. They are making a "pact" (for lack of better word) with someone that you wish to further pursue building COMMUNITY with that person, on an individual basis. Thus selfishness is a diterating substance in any relationship or community - family, school, organization, etc.

 

I'd agree if you are unhappy with your relationship then there's probably some kind of miscommunication.

And if there's not then, the relationship shouldn't continue. But that's not being selifsh that's just recognizing imcompatibility an acting upon it.

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Like Harry Browne once said... Ok, let's pretend my happiness is symbolized by a big red rubber ball. I have the ball in my hands, meaning I have the ability to be happy. But since I'm not going to be selfish, I quickly give you the ball. I've given up my happiness to you.

 

What will you do? Since you're not selfish either, you won't keep the ball; you'll quickly pass it on to your friend. But he doesn't want to be selfish either so he gives it to his girlfriend, who then gives it to someone else.

 

What's the point of being unselfish if the only person who actually benefits from such an act is the person who chooses to be selfish?

 

To be frank, the society which instills these beliefs into your brain doesn't give a shit about your happiness. :P

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Like Harry Browne once said... Ok, let's pretend my happiness is symbolized by a big red rubber ball. I have the ball in my hands, meaning I have the ability to be happy. But since I'm not going to be selfish, I quickly give you the ball. I've given up my happiness to you.

 

What will you do? Since you're not selfish either, you won't keep the ball; you'll quickly pass it on to your friend. But he doesn't want to be selfish either so he gives it to his girlfriend, who then gives it to someone else.

 

What's the point of being unselfish if the only person who actually benefits from such an act is the person who chooses to be selfish?

 

To be frank, the society which instills these beliefs into your brain doesn't give a shit about your happiness. :P

 

A silly analogy, to be honest.

Being selfless (or seekin to not be selfish) is not giving away your happiness to somone.

It's seeking to ENJOY life (ie your happiness) with someone else. It's sharing your happiness - overflowing. Thus turning your happiness from an inward focus to an outward focus.

 

This is what builds communities. Especially in the case of love-relationships.

 

And society is not necessarily the criminal, or not nearly as much as is our own personal intitlement to happiness.

 

Who said that we deserve happiness in the first place? THE GOVERNMENT? Loooooool.

 

Sorry, just had to. :P

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Like Harry Browne once said... Ok, let's pretend my happiness is symbolized by a big red rubber ball. I have the ball in my hands, meaning I have the ability to be happy. But since I'm not going to be selfish, I quickly give you the ball. I've given up my happiness to you.

 

What will you do? Since you're not selfish either, you won't keep the ball; you'll quickly pass it on to your friend. But he doesn't want to be selfish either so he gives it to his girlfriend, who then gives it to someone else.

 

What's the point of being unselfish if the only person who actually benefits from such an act is the person who chooses to be selfish?

 

To be frank, the society which instills these beliefs into your brain doesn't give a shit about your happiness. :P

 

What if you cut that ball in 2 so both could be happy?

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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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Like Harry Browne once said... Ok, let's pretend my happiness is symbolized by a big red rubber ball. I have the ball in my hands, meaning I have the ability to be happy. But since I'm not going to be selfish, I quickly give you the ball. I've given up my happiness to you.

 

What will you do? Since you're not selfish either, you won't keep the ball; you'll quickly pass it on to your friend. But he doesn't want to be selfish either so he gives it to his girlfriend, who then gives it to someone else.

 

What's the point of being unselfish if the only person who actually benefits from such an act is the person who chooses to be selfish?

 

To be frank, the society which instills these beliefs into your brain doesn't give a shit about your happiness. :P

 

What if you cut that ball in 2 so both could be happy?

 

Point and case.

 

Still a shitty analogy. Haha.

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A silly analogy, to be honest.

Being selfless (or seekin to not be selfish) is not giving away your happiness to somone.

It's seeking to ENJOY life (ie your happiness) with someone else. It's sharing your happiness - overflowing. Thus turning your happiness from an inward focus to an outward focus.

 

If being "selfless" means you primarily care about others while still caring about yourself, then being "selfish" would be to primarily care about yourself while still caring about others.

 

Happiness is either "shareable" or it isn't. Pick one and continue your argument.

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