Help With A Really Strict Parent

[i_love_burritos]

No matter what your decision is, try not to lose your relationship with your parents (whatever relationship you have). This is a very important factor in my eyes. Not that you shouldn't be assertive, or aggressive if you have to, but regardless of the emotional abuse you should try not to make them your enemy.

 

 

 

That aside, you should attack every one of their ridiculous arguments with a well thought out response, supported with facts. Take some time off to thoroughly think through what you will say, and make sure you have a response to each argument. Make sure to point out the fact that you're a freshmen taking what, junior and senior level classes? And getting A's and B's? For god's sake, these are the grades of a future aerospace engineer! You have enough academic competence, let them know that social interaction is essential to be a normal person! What happens when you want to get a job? Will you have to tell your boss you can only work an hour a day because you have a 6:00 curfew? Make sure to tell them that 4 hours of solid studying per day won't compensate for your moral deprivation.

 

 

 

Ask them to give you one chance to prove that you can sustain these obviously excellent grades while having a social life. Try to ask it in a way that doesn't sound like you're trying to tyrannize them, as it seems they don't react well to you sounding like an independent person who can make his own decisions.

 

 

 

It's difficult for me to say exactly what I mean, but basically attack each of their excuses and explain why they're wrong, and use as much logic as you can. Think about what you would say beforehand if you need to. Make sure you don't let one excuse slip by, as I'm more than confident you counter them pretty easily.

 

 

 

If they really are so ridiculously unreasonable that there is no way for you to talk to them, do not hesitate to get the help of a councilor or other authority. They are unfairly and wrongly robbing you of what should be the best years of your life. And don't forget to tell them that as well.

 

 

 

This. Destroy them, by using your superior logic and intellect, and if that fail - reach for the nearest non-familial authority figure.

[Erk02]

?????????? I live near the OP! (Like, 10 minutes away, I think)

 

 

 

Should I go and rescue the OP, in a Rapunzel style mission? Help me, internet. Advice, please.

[i_love_burritos]

?????????? I live near the OP! (Like, 10 minutes away, I think)

 

 

 

Should I go and rescue the OP, in a Rapunzel style mission? Help me, internet. Advice, please.

 

 

 

How do you know this ?

[Da_Latios]

He's a psychic - I mean a psychotic - movie character.

[doomy]

 

Maybe show them this thread? It might help.

 

You want him to show his neurotic, possibly psychotic parents this thread? Do you have HOLES for eyes? Read the whole thing again and tell me how you think it would turn out. -.-

 

 

Yeah, you're right, stupid thing to say.

 

What I meant by that was to show what people actually think of how strict his parents are, I mean, honestly his parents might just not really know how how to parent, might think things like the only way to gte a good job is straight A's. Ya know to get the point across that not doing fun things can be stressful, and that 2 B's is definately not bad.

[icecold638]

That's pretty bad, man, but whatever you do, don't attack them with a axe in their sleep. :shock:

[ember3579]

No matter what your decision is, try not to lose your relationship with your parents (whatever relationship you have). This is a very important factor in my eyes. Not that you shouldn't be assertive, or aggressive if you have to, but regardless of the emotional abuse you should try not to make them your enemy.

 

 

 

That aside, you should attack every one of their ridiculous arguments with a well thought out response, supported with facts. Take some time off to thoroughly think through what you will say, and make sure you have a response to each argument. Make sure to point out the fact that you're a freshmen taking what, junior and senior level classes? And getting A's and B's? For god's sake, these are the grades of a future aerospace engineer! You have enough academic competence, let them know that social interaction is essential to be a normal person! What happens when you want to get a job? Will you have to tell your boss you can only work an hour a day because you have a 6:00 curfew? Make sure to tell them that 4 hours of solid studying per day won't compensate for your moral deprivation.

 

 

 

Ask them to give you one chance to prove that you can sustain these obviously excellent grades while having a social life. Try to ask it in a way that doesn't sound like you're trying to tyrannize them, as it seems they don't react well to you sounding like an independent person who can make his own decisions.

 

 

 

It's difficult for me to say exactly what I mean, but basically attack each of their excuses and explain why they're wrong, and use as much logic as you can. Think about what you would say beforehand if you need to. Make sure you don't let one excuse slip by, as I'm more than confident you counter them pretty easily.

 

 

 

If they really are so ridiculously unreasonable that there is no way for you to talk to them, do not hesitate to get the help of a councilor or other authority. They are unfairly and wrongly robbing you of what should be the best years of your life. And don't forget to tell them that as well.

 

 

 

 

 

This is basically what I'm talking about, but in better wording. Good job. =D>

[Chained_life]

Try just doing what they say. Works out better for you in the long run.

[Omar]

Define better...

[Riku3220]

Try just doing what they say. Works out better for you in the long run.

 

If he isn't even allowed to plau video games because he got a couple of B's then it's nowhere near better for him.

[Erk02]

?????????? I live near the OP! (Like, 10 minutes away, I think)

 

 

 

Should I go and rescue the OP, in a Rapunzel style mission? Help me, internet. Advice, please.

 

 

 

How do you know this ?

 

OP mentioned East Bay, CA. This is a relatively small area, and I can guess what school he goes to due to his mentioning of advanced classes.

[Kiriyama]

?????????? I live near the OP! (Like, 10 minutes away, I think)

 

 

 

Should I go and rescue the OP, in a Rapunzel style mission? Help me, internet. Advice, please.

 

 

 

How do you know this ?

 

OP mentioned East Bay, CA. This is a relatively small area, and I can guess what school he goes to due to his mentioning of advanced classes.

 

 

 

I'd say to rescue the OP, shotgun style. Remember, always aim for the head, don't want them coming back as zombies.

[llamster]

If they won't compromise then stop trying. They want all A's, give them all A's, really the only thing you can do.

[ember3579]

If they won't compromise then stop trying. They want all A's, give them all A's, really the only thing you can do.

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps you should read the whole thread.

[Deathmath]

If they won't compromise then stop trying. They want all A's, give them all A's, really the only thing you can do.

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps you should read the whole thread.

 

 

 

I'm trying :P That's an issue: i'm trying but with the course difficulty I can't really do it.

[ember3579]

If they won't compromise then stop trying. They want all A's, give them all A's, really the only thing you can do.

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps you should read the whole thread.

 

 

 

I'm trying :P That's an issue: i'm trying but with the course difficulty I can't really do it.

 

 

 

 

 

And that is precisely why the "work through it" strategy doesn't really work in this case. I'm sorry if I seem to be repeating myself, but you really should try either negotiations, reasoning with them (use facts as to why what they're doing is hurting you, but DON'T MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY'RE BEING TALKED DOWN TO!!!), or finally, bringing in a counselor or similar authority figure. Preferably, you'll work down that list as they prove useless. If even outside assistance doesn't help, well, the only real help we can give is ideas for your rebellion. Not the best of ideas to try that route, but it should remain on the table as an absolute last resort. Make SURE that you try anything your counselor says might work after they talk with your parents first! If they say "just deal with it" or something similar, make sure they understand that that wouldn't help. Tell them all of what you've tried. Even better, keep a chronological list of tried actions and their results written down.

[Orpheus]

Make a suicide threat to them, and record their response. If they say the wrong thing, then you can get them in some deep [cabbage] for it.

[Tim_Finch]

Even better, keep a chronological list of tried actions and their results written down.

 

 

 

I like this idea. Write down everything they've done/said, and write down everything you've tried. This should help a councilor understand the severity of your situation.

 

 

 

I'm fairly confident that contacting an authority figure would help you. If that fails somehow, we're always here for you ;)

[Zierro]

Heh, your parents are completely insane. I don't have much to offer in advice, but just letting you know.

 

 

 

Having parents that're underachievers from the late seventies/early eighties is awesome.

 

 

 

True that. I have been a free man ever since I became a teenager.

[muuuuuuuuuu]

Make a suicide threat to them, and record their response. If they say the wrong thing, then you can get them in some deep [cabbage] for it.

 

Definitely DO NOT do that.

 

 

 

I was in a situation which was somewhat similar about a year and a half ago. To make a long story short, one week I lost it and refused to get out of bed, which culminated with me ending up in a psychiatric hospital. The doctors were able to get them to lessen up a lot, but I was also put on several antidepressants to deal with the Social Anxiety Disorder I supposedly have. The meds did nothing but make me get more and more depressed. It really sucked, because I missed at least 50% of my classes that school year, and we eventually decided to pull me out of the school and home-school me the rest of the year so I wouldn't have so much school stuff about which to worry. It took a long time for me to get over this, and when I was, my school didn't want me to be in any honors/AP classes for my senior year because they were worried I'd miss too much school again (before everything happened I had maintained a 4.0gpa easily in the most difficult classes offered, and made 4s on both AP exams I took, despite missing half the classes due to being sick). Because of that I'm being home-schooled again this year, which if only I weren't so lonely all the time I would find much better. My parents are definitely a lot more loose about stuff with me now, so if anything good came out of this, it's certainly that and realizing I have problems which can be helped.

[ember3579]

I just now came up with an idea that might help with showing them what they're doing. It's a bit hardball, but it SHOULD have favorable results, at least in the long run. It might get them REALLY pissed off at you for pulling it, though. This is what you need;

 

 

 

Principal's or Counselor's go-ahead and support

 

Audio recorder that you can hide on your person and still be able to pick up various things in the room

 

One fake report card with bad grades on it

 

 

 

You can probably guess the plan from that. Some random day, you retrieve the fake card from the office, then show your parents it and pretend like it's real (the recorder should be on at this point). Play along with them and record their response. Try and do what would come naturally were this real. At the nearest possible juncture, show the recording to the counselor/principal. From there, they should know where to go. My personal suggestion is to have them think that there's a personal meeting between you, your parents, and the school faculty the next day because of the sudden drop in grades, but have that be the confrontation. If you schedule this nearby the actual report card day, then it should have the best results, especially because you'd have your real grades on hand. Remember, YOU NEED TO HAVE THE FACULTY ON BOARD WITH THIS PLAN!!!

[llamster]

Out of curiosity, are your parents Asian? They are acting very Asian.

[Cup Lion]

My parents used to be super strict. They are still a bit strict now. I don't go out often with friends, but it seems like they are getting more lenient (letting my older sister stay out past 1am on a school night). I haven't been able to experience that, but they do care about my grades a lot. They freak out when I have an incomplete in one of my assignments, even though my grade is an A, or when I have an 8/10 in participation, and they write a note to my teacher asking to talk about it.

 

 

 

They still don't let me go over to girls' houses, and won't let me go to parties unless there are a few other guys there, whom they know.

[GGunitfan10]

That does seem way too over protective. Taking adv Trig as a freshmen? Wow. But you will have an easy math course or few (if any) in college. So thats a +. Maybe you can talk with them about your daily routine. Mybe they will switch it up a little.

[EGmaestro]

if youve tried negotiating already..and especially if youve tried it multiple times..i wouldn't bother trying 2 negotiate with them again. i doubt it will get you anywhere. i honestly can't believe that any parent could be that strict. you realy need to find a solution before they ruin your entire teenage years... :evil: id strongly recommend getting outside help from a responsible adult..probably a teacher, or better yet, a school counselor, its their job to deal with things such as these..and if anyone can solve it they can