Granted, thanks, it tastes so delicious.

 

I wish I could shoot bullets from my forehead.

Granted, but it only works once because it makes your head blow apart. Yuck. :-X

 

 

I wish I knew why exactly @Goonstalf can post, but doesn't have a member profile that can be navigated to... :blink:

 

~D. V. "Like, WTF?" Devnull

Granted, I can post without having a profile because I'm not actually a member. I'm a new IP.Board bot designed to emulate the attitudes and posting style of a former member of Tup.tap, or whatever this site is called. My mission? To bring down Taf.toop one board at a time.

 

I wish I could juggle.

Granted, but you are far from effective. Unfortunately, you find out this when attempting to juggle flaming laser chainsaws coated in poison.

 

I wish I could steal anyone's existence, skills, and memories.

Granted, others can do the same to you.

 

I wish I was in Guiness World Records as the guy who finds Coca-Cola awesome the most.

 

NOTE: I said "finds coca-cola awesome the most", not "drinks coca-cola the most".

Granted, but they misprint it to say "drinks coco-cola the most" which is exactly what you didn't want it to say.

 

I wish I wish I was a fish.

Granted, however there is no water nearby.

 

I wish everyone would be creeped out by watching a Mandibuzz eating a brain.

Granted, but the brain being eaten is yours.

 

I wish I was a fish and there was water nearby.

granted, the water is not close enough and you still drown

 

i now wish for that piece of bacon that blaze ate would turn into a fire breathing dragon.

Granted, but the fire-eating dragon starts conquering the world in Blaze's body.

 

I wish the fourth wall collapsed in on itself.

Granted, fictional characters come to the real world. How is it bad? Well, they're no longer fictional.

 

I wish the cops didn't care if I broke the law.

Granted, but they don't care about the area you live in since any broken law around you is rendered meaningless. Hope you don't catch the fancy of the serial killer in the vicinity.

 

I wish I discovered my life's purpose.

Granted. You immediately set out to defy it, just on principle.

 

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you are too heavy to do so.

 

I wish I had amazing cooking skills.

granted, your mouth seals itself like in the first matrix movie

 

i wish for a pet bunny rabbit named Blaze

Granted, but it's a bunny on fire and dies shortly after.

 

I wish the human race was a hive mind.

Granted, but you kill yourself shortly after because you can't stand hearing everyone's thoughts all the time. :(

 

 

I wish the next season of a number of different shows would come out already, and that all of them would be good. Further, I wish for them to be still free to watch anywhere, and not have a ton of advertisements near (and/or in) them. |^_^|

 

 

~D. V. "Sick of the waiting..." Devnull

Granted, without ads the channel that airs them doesn't stay on air for too long.

 

Hey, you said a number of different shows, you didn't say "a lot".

 

I wish for an extremely long mars bar. If you don't know what mars is it's basically a type of candy bar.

Granted, but it's so long that it costs you more than it's worth to keep it cold and stored. Why, you ask? Because it will take you years to eat all of it. :P

 

 

I wish for the Djinn/Genie/'whatever-it-is-that-grants-our-wishes' to be free forever from having to corrupt them anymore. O:)

 

 

~D. V. "Probably one of the best gifts I could give to such an unfortunate being..." Devnull

Granted. The laws of the universe are rewritten to comply with that wish, and all wishes that were ever made, or will be made in the future, are retconned to have the corruption removed before it happens, including this one.

 

I wish for an hour of silence.

Granted, as soon as the hour is over construction begins next door.

 

I wish that I could have a nice pair of running shoes.

I wish that I could have a nice pair of running shoes.

Granted, but they happen to have air cushions inside of the rubber bottoms. Unfortunately, the day you decide to go on a Marathon-style Jog, somebody has spread sharp, long tacks all over your home yard, and you don't see them as you go out the door. As you step on the tacks, you then hear this explosive sound, and find yourself flying in the air without any shoes on. It appears the tacks made your shoes explode, and you land back inside your house, hitting your head on a nearby wall. You spend the next 12 hours out cold due to this, and wake up in the hospital with your family around you, as well as a doctor who's surprised that you woke up at all. :o

 

 

I wish that computer viruses couldn't exist. People could enjoy so much more if they didn't have to lose system resources to protecting their computers, programs, and data. <_<

 

 

~D. V. "Pardon me getting hyper-descriptive..." Devnull

Granted, all anti-virus software companies go out of business.

 

I wish I could walk on the moon without actually being there.

Granted, NASA start to offer a service where you can walk on land they lifted from the moon, but you never feel as if you quite accomplished your dream and you still feel empty and void inside.

 

 

 

I wish that I could pause time around me.

Granted, but it only works to a 25-foot distance, and your internet connection times out if you try to use that power while you're still at the computer. We're sorry, but you're not allowed to get the upper hand by messing with temporal physics. :notalk:

 

 

I wish Samsung TVs had the ability to scan the Air-Based Digital Channels without having to ever lose its' memory of the previous scans. :geek:

 

~D. V. "It makes a Zenith-brand Digital Converter look shiny..." Devnull