Granted, but none of the channels you find are any good.

 

I wish the richest man in the world would give me all his money and commit suicide.

Granted. Tell me you've seen enough movies to know how this is going to end.

 

I wish the next poster would come up with a better wish.

Granted. Said wish causes you to go "Why didn't I think of that?" and you later fall into madness and despair over your inability to think of good wishes.

 

I wish for a few sheets of aluminum foil.

Granted, but you get them as you are being wrapped in and thrown in the oven to be cooked for ogres.

 

I wish I could make any outfit to my specifications as I desire.

Granted. Your wild imagination leads to outfits that are cool, but too impractical to actually wear. You end up killing yourself when attempting to put one on.

 

No wish here, move along, nothing to see.

PERFECT!!!!!!!!!

 

I wish everyone believed that Pokémon are real, and it would become a religion more popular than Christianity.

 

It's about time some religion triumphs it.

Granted. That world-spanning Poké-religion operates on the strictest of Nuzlocke rules.

 

I wish meta-wishes were accepted by the average genie.

Granted, but there is no such thing as an "average genie".

 

I wish the next person would wish to get mauled by rabid monkeys.

I wish to get mauled by rabid monkeys... out of earshot from the wish-granting entity.

In a rare instance of a paradox in a wish, the wish-granting being explodes in confusion. Unfortunately, a stream of wild and rabid monkeys spit out and proceed to target you with all of their fury at their entity's death.

 

I wish I was BFFs with Cthulhu.

Granted, but now he's your ONLY friend since no one else wants to be around you anymore.

 

I wish Arnold Schwarzenegger was my personal trainer at the gym.

Granted, but unfortunately he turns out to be the "T-800 Terminator" instead, and kills you with Machine Guns. :(

 

 

I wish many anime shows came in English, instead of just English Subtitles. :wall:

 

~D. V. "Getting The Subtitle Blues..." Devnull

Granted, the anime characters speak in broken English and the translation is nowhere near accurate.

 

I wish to become the president of the United States, then I'd tax people so high that I will be the only rich person in the world left. :twisted:

Granted. Congress doesn't let you do anything, and you're eventually impeached for being corrupt... And not in a fun way.

 

I wish I could see the ultraviolet part of the spectrum.

granted, shortly afterwards yo go blind

 

i wish it wasnt so hot outside

Granted, but now it's freezing cold. You need to specify your choice of temperature better. :twss:

 

 

I wish I could touch the outer shell (...if the item hasn't been opened up when I go to check it...) and/or any parts of an electronic device, and always know exactly what's gone wrong with it. :geek:

 

~D. V. "Of course, that's providing it has a problem in the first place..." Devnull

Granted, you know exactly what's wrong with it, but you can't fix it.

 

I wish for Goon to be my brother.

Granted, but it turns out he's not as fun in real life as he is here in the forum games.

 

I wish every single cheeseburger restaurant (no exception) would be replaced by BurgerKing.

Granted, but nothing changes since cheeseburgers only come through the King.

 

I wish I was a ghost who can have free-range haunting abilities to troll people.

Granted, but then you troll someone who has the ability to kill ghosts. They stab you with their ghost-killing blade, sending you to hell for eternity because you trolled people. :boohoo:

 

 

I wish I could see a version of Death Note where Kira (Light Yagami) actually succeeded in killing Near (Nate River) and Mello (Mihael Keehl) along with 'L' (L Lawliet), AND successfully created the world he wanted to. It just seems like something was left out, not getting to see an ending like that. :pray:

 

~D. V. "I know I'm asking a bit much, but..." Devnull

Granted, but Ryuk kills him anyway and the world goes back to normal.

 

I wish I was a multi-talented chef.

Granted, you are multi-talented chef in making great food for zombies.

 

However, you don't find any zombies.

 

I wish Microsoft would run out of business, I'm serious what they did to XBox One was horrible.

 

And no, reversing their decision doesn't excuse them for doing this shit in the first place.

Granted. Microsoft goes out of business, and everything they've ever produced or helped to produce eventually disappears. People then found out it was your wish that caused all this, so they gather in a mob and torture you for making Apple the new standard.

 

I wish magic existed.

Granted, but you have zero control over it and become my familiar as a result.

 

I wish the world could only speak in double entendres.

I wish the world could only speak in double entendres.

Granted, but everyone dies in laughter caused by all the double-entendres being too funny. :boohoo:

 

 

I wish I could remember what I was going to wish for, because I can't remember now what it was. :oops:

 

~D. V. "Go figure, eh?" Devnull