Parents

[Riku3220]

I never said my father walked out.

And the father who killed himself was never part of the household in the first place.

 

And 1 bad event doesn't make an unstable home, that's a very flawed logic. Bad stuff happens, a stable home deals with it and moves on an unstable home breaks down and has issues from it.

What is your definition of a stable home, then?

Apparently a home where fathers are never there and they also kill themselves.

 

But how is someone KILLING HIMSELF not an issue? Honestly, that make no sense whatsoever.

So every house with a single mom suddenly has children that are going to become criminals? Seriously, he doesn't let the fact that he doesn't have a father bother him and he says his brother doesn't care that his father killed himself. Why are you so intent on calling Paw_Claw and his family broken?

[Sy_Accursed]

My posts make perfect sense and do not remotely contradict themselves.

Just because you disagree with me on the effects of a lack of father figure you've gone off on random tangents twisting my words.

 

Also how did I misspell you name? IIBowsII...Bow make sense.

 

Same way it make sense when people refer to me as Paw rather than Paw_Claw

[Giordano]

I'll be frank, I've never felt loved from my parents nor anybody else in that matter and I'm afraid I won't be able to give love neither. Maybe I'm looking too much in the American feeling of family love...after all they only did follow however they were raised...but they did love me. They knew kids are a giant responsibility and stood by them, unlike now parents are divorcing and not caring much for the emotional well being of their kids. My parents raised me good with care and I often find myself loathing myself for being such a ungrateful [puncture].

 

Everybody should have two parents who love and respect each other and their kid. I just wish a lot more people think before getting married and raising a family and sort out their damn priorities first.

[D Jay99]

Paw, you're an idiot, a complete and total idiot.

Oh yeah wait because he can't decide for himself whether he is emotionally messed up or not and you have to do that for him based on the limited information you have.

 

I think people can get by perfectly fine without a father figure, I'm not that close with my father (he's technically not even my biological father but I treat him as such since my biological one seems like an ass and my mum left him aaages ago anyway) but he hasn't played a really important role in my life or something. Wouldn't like to miss him though. I think the biggest problem with not having a dad would be having a mum that is down all the time, that would suck. Otherwise everyone (especially bows) who thinks children can't do without a father are severely underestimating the child. You can teach yourself stuff without your father having to tell you you know.

[obfuscator]

I'll be frank, I've never felt loved from my parents nor anybody else in that matter and I'm afraid I won't be able to give love neither. Maybe I'm looking too much in the American feeling of family love...after all they only did follow however they were raised...but they did love me. They knew kids are a giant responsibility and stood by them, unlike now parents are divorcing and not caring much for the emotional well being of their kids. My parents raised me good with care and I often find myself loathing myself for being such a ungrateful [puncture].

 

Everybody should have two parents who love and respect each other and their kid. I just wish a lot more people think before getting married and raising a family and sort out their damn priorities first.

I agree with this.

 

Paw - I agree in that a good family should be able to deal with issues - but it's much harder for just a single parent to do that. It must have been very hard on your mother, and while she may have managed it and managed to raise you in a pretty stable family it just isn't the same as being raised with both parents.

 

 

And no, having one parent doesn't automatically make you a criminal, but it highly increases the likelihood.

[Sy_Accursed]

Well as I said originally it hasn't had any negative outcomes on me or my brothers.

We had a stable loving home, we've had our fair share of issues but who hasn't? But we're all still here alive, healthy, loved and with no mental issues.

So I stand by my view that a father figure to a boy and a mother figure to a girl aren't vital and you can be just fine without them. And that sticking hard and fast to the view you MUST have them when one is missing is more likely to do harm than the not having one.

[Omar]

Do you remember your dad at all?

[Giordano]

I would still think your brother would have some sort of regret or hope it could of been better. Its stuff we all keep inside so you wouldn't nessesilary know.

 

But as for the criminal, insanty, etc weird sideeffects that's all up to the indivudal.

[Sam]

Be nice, Zach.

 

Interesting thread, Omar. I believe that a father figure is essential to a young male. Though I'm not incredibly close to my father I still aspire to him, and how he works to support his (large) family. I'm glad I'm not closer to him because I feel as though he acts like a bit of an arse sometimes.

[Omar]

Who's Zach?

[Sam]

Who's Zach?

 

IIBowsII :thumbup:

 

I know this is a delicate subject for some, but please be considerate to others about it.

[obfuscator]

I find it interesting how Bow reads wat he wants to and ignores the rest.

 

I never remotely said they weren't an issue. I simply said our home was stable in spite of issues and that said issues and lack of father figure hadn't had detrimental effect.

Statistically, you're also more likely to end up divorced than you are if you've had two parents for all your life.

 

Once again, I'm not saying it always happens - I'm saying it contributes.

[Sy_Accursed]

I don't put much faith in statistics they are easily biased to your own views. By use of factors tht make people illegible to be included tailored to knock out large groups the go against your view and various other tricks.

[Jernlov]

I don't know my birth father. Thus, my grandfather was my main father figure when I was growing up. He died from myeloma in 2000 and I can't bring myself to lie: had he not passed away, I would have most likely turned out a lot differently. I don't know how to word that in a way that doesn't sound disrespectful or horrible, but I'm not blaming anyone. He is probably the person I most want to be like in the world. I have my fair share of psychological issues; my lack of a father figure for the past ten years is just part of why I have them. My mother has cycled through various boyfriends since I was born and I've never connected with any of them on the same level that I did with my grandfather.

 

My family is kind of, well, I don't know. There are far too many petty arguments. It's nothing compared to a lot of people I'm acquainted with, but it grates after a few days of screaming every morning. I can't really speak badly of my mother, either. She has done a good job, but she's now over 50 and trying to raise my half-brother and half-sister, whom are 13 and 11 respectively. It takes a lot out of her and they're kind of bratty and nasty when they want to be. I'm going to say it's fairly stable for a family nowadays.

 

I'm rambling, but yes. I might not have become such a shut-in but other factors did contribute to it.

[obfuscator]

I don't put much faith in statistics they are easily biased to your own views. By use of factors tht make people illegible to be included tailored to knock out large groups the go against your view and various other tricks.

I don't understand what you're trying to say here :?

[Sy_Accursed]

I don't put much faith in statistics they are easily biased to your own views. By use of factors tht make people illegible to be included tailored to knock out large groups the go against your view and various other tricks.

I don't understand what you're trying to say here :?

 

You were saying how statistics suggest more likely to get divorced. I was just saying I don't put faith in statistics as they are easily biased. I mean notice how every single statistics churned out supports the persons cause OR hurts their opponent; yet the opponent can produce the exact opposite? It's because they are so easily manipulated and biased while remaining in generally accepted standards for making it a valid study (and thus statistic)

[OldJoe]

Hm, i had a normal upbringing i guess.

I have cooked, washed, cleaned etc since i was 10... So i guess not as much "catered for" as some.

I'm pretty much opposite in everything to my parents (and relatives), they are a bit more... How'd you put it "lalalala shiny happy world"... While i'm slightly more conservative.

My 3 siblings have quite a good and more close relationship with my parents. I don't really know my siblings either, not much in common lol.

 

Sure, some up and downs, but i'd say they did a good job. Only thing i wished for, is that they'd be a bit more demanding in the school/work-ethic/morale. Something that i will be if i ever become a parent.

Something that i have inherited from my dad is that i'm pretty stubborn.

[obfuscator]

I don't put much faith in statistics they are easily biased to your own views. By use of factors tht make people illegible to be included tailored to knock out large groups the go against your view and various other tricks.

I don't understand what you're trying to say here :?

 

You were saying how statistics suggest more likely to get divorced. I was just saying I don't put faith in statistics as they are easily biased. I mean notice how every single statistics churned out supports the persons cause OR hurts their opponent; yet the opponent can produce the exact opposite? It's because they are so easily manipulated and biased while remaining in generally accepted standards for making it a valid study (and thus statistic)

Ok, I see where you're going.

 

While it is true that every statistic has two sides, I guess it just boils down to what you want to beleive. From what I've seen - in general people with both parents have been happier and well-adjusted. I accept that it is a case-by-case situation so I'm willing to accept that isn't always the case.

[Sy_Accursed]

I don't put much faith in statistics they are easily biased to your own views. By use of factors tht make people illegible to be included tailored to knock out large groups the go against your view and various other tricks.

I don't understand what you're trying to say here :?

 

You were saying how statistics suggest more likely to get divorced. I was just saying I don't put faith in statistics as they are easily biased. I mean notice how every single statistics churned out supports the persons cause OR hurts their opponent; yet the opponent can produce the exact opposite? It's because they are so easily manipulated and biased while remaining in generally accepted standards for making it a valid study (and thus statistic)

Ok, I see where you're going.

 

While it is true that every statistic has two sides, I guess it just boils down to what you want to beleive. From what I've seen - in general people with both parents have been happier and well-adjusted. I accept that it is a case-by-case situation so I'm willing to accept that isn't always the case.

 

I think it is very situation based.

Its like the whole thing of America favours "stay together for the kids they need a family unit" UK far more favours "better for the child to have 2 single happy parents, than one unhappy home"

It all comes down to how the parents handle things and the kids personality.

 

Which fits in with my original view anyway the father figure mother figure are not vital and absence of one does not automatically mean messed up kids.

[Maleficus1055]

My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. My mom get fed up with my dad and just walked out the door. She stayed close (within the next town) and my brother and I visited her every weekend. My dad made it obvious he didn't want us in his life. When my parents were together, at Christmastime my mom would ask for help in hanging lights or anything and my dad would sit on the couch with a beer and say "You're the one who wanted kids, do it yourself." About 2 years later, my mom met my current stepdad, who's a really nice guy, and they've been together since. My mom moved around a few times due to financial problems but now lives within 15 minutes of my dads house, and always kept it at that distance. My dad went through about 4 women before finding my stepmom. The third one he almost married, but then kicked her out because he didn't like her daughter. The fourth is my current stepmom, theyve been together nearly 5 years. My stepmom made no effort to show she didn't like me, it was obvious to tell. My dad also doesnt like me and now had more things to yell at me about, like every time I pissed off my stepmom. My brother left and went to live with my mom 4 years ago, his freshman year in high school. I didn't, because he had to change school because of it. But then the year after, he was going back to my school. So I built up the courage and told him I was leaving, endured about 5 hours of yelling and screaming as he raged and left to live with my mom at the beginning of this year. And it's been good

[Range_This11]

I won't bore any of you with a wall of text. My parents were married for 22 years, divorced when I was in 8th grade. At the time it sucked, but it's the best thing that has ever happened to our family. I have a better relationship with both of my parents than I ever had before. If you were raised by your Father and you are a male, you are going to be like your Father. That isn't to say that you will make the same choices in life, but no matter how hard you try, you'll always be like your Father.

[Giordano]

but no matter how hard you try, you'll always be like your Father.

Wewt. I like how my dad talks to people. :razz:

 

It's also interesting to note, all these stories the dad is the "guilty" one.

[Lateralus]

My dad was an alcoholic who left when I was 8. He's sorted himself out now and I meet him for lunch occasionally. My mother is an angel.

 

Everyone's parents mess them up on at least some level. Phillip Larkin puts it well in 'This Be The Verse'.

 

They [bleep] you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

 

But they were [bleep]ed up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats,

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another's throats.

 

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don't have any kids yourself.

[Nadril]

I feel like a [bleep] for saying it in this thread... but my family and parents are awesome.

[Range_This11]

but no matter how hard you try, you'll always be like your Father.

Wewt. I like how my dad talks to people. :razz:

 

It's also interesting to note, all these stories the dad is the "guilty" one.

Yeah, my Dad is 52 and goes on (on average) two or three dates a week. Each time with a different lady. He's the network administrator of a huge school district so he's dated doctors, lawyers, you name it. I hope I can be like him hahaha.