Parents

[H2PM]

My father was a heroin addict, an alcoholic, and a heavy gambler.

He died of a heroin overdose.

This happened on my 2nd birthday.

 

Fast-forward a few more years, the would-be stepfather of mine committed suicide.

 

My mother does the best she can to take care of me and my brother.

 

I am greatly thankful for her and what she has been through...

 

So really I'm in the same boat as Harrinator. I grew up with father figures.

 

 

I feel like a [bleep] for saying it in this thread... but my family and parents are awesome.

 

 

Pretty much what Nadril said.

[mcneilp]

I'd say both my parents have done a pretty good job of raising me and my younger sister. Although we grew up with both parents, we only had Grans as other main family members as one of my Grandads had died just before i was born and the other left my dad and my gran when my dad was around 20 and never spoke to them again. I think that might've made me a bit closer to my dad than i maybe would've been if i had other male figures (grandads) when i was growing up but who knows.

Anyway, can't fault my parents on the way they raised me and my sister.

[Racheya]

Well my dad was a druggie and a drunk, my mum left him when I was about 2 (after almost trying to stab him) :unsure: When I was about 5 my mum found herself a partner in who is now my step-dad. They never got married, but after about 13 years they're pretty much close enough. The only reason they never married was it'd be too costly. When I was 8, my mum got pregnant and had my brother who's now 10. I see my step-dad and (I guess half-step) brother as my family. I've not seen my biological dad in years and years. Maybe one day I'll want to meet him and I do wonder if he ever thinks about me, but somehow I doubt that he does.

 

Anyway, my family isn't always the most stable of one. My dad tends to waste money and is still thinking that he can go out at night and get drunk like he used to when he was younger. He's like... mid forties now (I don't know his age lol). A few years back this became a serious problem, right up until late last year. He went to the pub almost every day after work and often lied about it even though we all knew. I think three times he tried to kill himself, or threatened to. Those were horrible times that I really don't like thinking about.

 

But I guess I'm very hopeful right now. He hasn't done anything like that in a while now. He doesn't go to the pub, he doesn't make our lives miserable. Therefore, we can all be happier. If he's happy, then we're all happy, in a way. I'm letting myself feel optimistic that things really *have* changed. I know that the crap parents put you through will have screwed me up forever. I don't know all the different ways and it'd be stupid to try to list them. But everyone has issues, everyone. Nobody can escape their parents and for better or worse, we're stuck with them. They have provided for me though and I love them both. If I didn't love them, then I wouldn't have been upset over the arguing. I know I've spoken little about my mother, but there isn't much to say. She works, she cleans, she looks after us so much.

 

So yeah... [/walloftext]

[Bows]

I would like to take the time to make a formal apology to Paw_Claw, earlier in the thread, I was quite the ass, and I'd just like to say sorry about that. I was in a bit of a foul mood due to my younger sister, and my best friend waking me up at 5:30 this morning for no reason, and not wanting to break my routine of checking the Forums when I wake up, I guess I vented my anger here; more specifically, at Paw. I hope that anyone I offended in any way will accept my sincerest apologies. And also--

 

@Sam: Yes sir :thumbup:

[ghjkl]

My parens moved here from china when I was around 5. My mom moved to washington with me like 3 years after for a job. Then we moved to tezas. My parents are married but I still don't really know why. They don't seem to care for eachother at all. Maybe its just an american thing where parents kiss and ask how their the day was or something.

My mom only cares about my future, got really mad when I got a b once, and almost kicked me out. She thinks that if I don't graduate from a ivy college my adult life will be terrible and I won't be able to afford tv/internet/other luxuries.

We visit my dad every half year and every time my parents get into a big fight. My dad expects me to graduate from an ivy school too. He can barely speak english well also, and has a horrible accent.

Both my parents really don't know about mainstream american stuff, if you ask them who the first president was or what their favorite type of cheese is they probably wouldn't know.

I've seen the rest of my relations once since I left china, can't really speak chinese so don't know them well.

 

I think this thread is turning into a who has worst parents contest.

[Zierro]

Saying that being raised in an unstable household isn't detrimental to the healthy development of a child is naive at best.

 

Couldn't it work both ways though? Some kids have no sense of right or wrong and they end up in jail because of it. Obviously this is bad. But then there are other cases where kids are forced to take on a load of responsibility and independence, making them a stronger person.

 

Like Paw, I think that there are multiple sources you can get a "father figure" from. For example, your preacher or even an older brother could provide better guidance than your father might have. However, the thing about fathers is that they're your genetic superior - you physically came from them and you couldn't say that about anyone else.

[Dupin]

The theoretical "perfect family" doesn't exist. Sure, some people are happy, but anybody who claims there isn't anything wrong, not even a distant relative or a shady history, is either lieing or misinformed. These events are what define us. Just think, if your (relation here) hadn't been a (problem here) and you hadn't dealt with it by (insert your personal epic journey here), you would be completely uninteresting as a person and would either end up in some average, boring position in life or not have learned that life lesson that taught you to never get involved with (see aformentioned problem).

 

As for myself, I have what appears to be a happy family, with both parents clean and successful and living at home. However, anyone who gets involved would see that we have problems, just like the rest of the world. Yes, I have a father, but is it really better if there is no happiness or kindness involved, and all I really learn is how to avoid tension? But I'm not complaining - this makes me who I am. Maybe my personality is a bit dark, but let's face it, nobody wants to read about some guy who was always happy and never had problems. It's the freaks who make it into history books.

[Skull]

My parents haven't lived together since I was about 7 or 8, not quite sure. They actually got divorced when I was about 11 I think. My dad's remarried, my mom isn't. I spend Monday, Wednesday, and every other Friday nights and every other weekend with my mom and the rest of the time with my dad, so it's pretty even between them. I wish they were still together but it certainly never would have worked, they fought way too much. It's a pretty good deal though, there's really nothing wrong with my family, they just didn't get along well.

 

I'm really envious of people who have families that are still together though. The idea of not being shipped from place to place like luggage is something I wish I could experience, but I'm glad I get to see both of them. But it seems like I'm far better off than a lot of people here, so I'm not complaining.

[Serpent Eye]

My mom is the only parent I had issues with. She was a very religious person when we were growing up, and it caused a constant battle between her and I; it peaked when I was seventeen, and the relationship has gotten better since then -- it's quite a normal mother/son relationship now, no awkwardness or hard feelings, really. Our past is in the past.

 

My dad never really gave us any grief when we were growing up. Mom was always the stern one who disciplined us, Dad was the one we would goof off with and go to for a good laugh. (Not that our mom wasn't fun, my dad would just play random games with us and stuff.) With my dad, it's kind of the exact opposite as my mom -- our relationship started steadily declining when I was around twenty, and has been going downhill ever since.

 

I no longer really talk to my dad except for when he calls me to tell me I owe him insurance money. He lives several hours away, and makes frequent visits to the city I live in, but he never bothers to call me and tell me that he'd like to say hi. His friends will see me at work and say things like, "Did you see your dad? He was in town yesterday," and I'm forced to say things like, "Nope, he didn't bother to tell me he was here."

 

:thumbup: Mom

:thumbdown: Dad

[Wizz]

My father abandoned us when I was 5. Then he came back when I was16 a "reform" man of religion. Pfft, he did it out of greed to save his soul. Since then I don't get along with my father, mostly grew up with my sisters and mother.

[Dax]

Computer died while writing my thing. ;_; Anyway, quick run down.

 

Awesome parents, divorced when I was like two, lived with my mum till she moved away, moved in with dad, dad never remarried, mum has twice, and had numerous boyfriends, nice wrapping up sentence.

[Omar]

The theoretical "perfect family" doesn't exist. Sure, some people are happy, but anybody who claims there isn't anything wrong, not even a distant relative or a shady history, is either lieing or misinformed. These events are what define us. Just think, if your (relation here) hadn't been a (problem here) and you hadn't dealt with it by (insert your personal epic journey here), you would be completely uninteresting as a person and would either end up in some average, boring position in life or not have learned that life lesson that taught you to never get involved with (see aformentioned problem).

I see what you mean and it did cross my mind that I learned how I shouldn't act to my family. I obviously can't say for sure, but I could have learned that from a good dad as well, I think. Thanks for your comment. :thumbup:

 

@Lateralus: that has less to do with parents messing you up than everyone being prone to having to deal with problems at some time in their life. An orphan will not necessarily have an easier life. Misery will be passed down to you regardless of how you grow up, from one source or another; so will happiness.

[The Dark Lord]

I had two gay fathers, and I believe that it has influenced me in a variety of ways. For one, I'm more effeminate than most males. My parents encouraged this behavior by taking me shopping and such. Likewise, I started to adopt effeminate mannerisms as I grew up due to my parents. Three years ago, I dated my first male. Currently, I'm 100% homosexual due to my homosexual upbringing from my gay parents.

 

No, they did not molest me or anything. I believe that children try to mimick their parents as they grow up and tend to adopt similar traits. For example, a child raised in a family that enjoys Country/Western music will probably end up listening to Country/Western music when he's fully grown. The same is true for children of alcoholics and drug abusers.

[H2PM]

The same is true for children of alcoholics and drug abusers.

This. This is what I know for damn sure I wont become.

[dusky]

I had two gay fathers, and I believe that it has influenced me in a variety of ways. For one, I'm more effeminate than most males. My parents encouraged this behavior by taking me shopping and such. Likewise, I started to adopt effeminate mannerisms as I grew up due to my parents. Three years ago, I dated my first male. Currently, I'm 100% homosexual due to my homosexual upbringing from my gay parents.

 

No, they did not molest me or anything. I believe that children try to mimick their parents as they grow up and tend to adopt similar traits. For example, a child raised in a family that enjoys Country/Western music will probably end up listening to Country/Western music when he's fully grown. The same is true for children of alcoholics and drug abusers.

Please...Please be trolling

[Wizz]

I had two gay fathers, and I believe that it has influenced me in a variety of ways. For one, I'm more effeminate than most males. My parents encouraged this behavior by taking me shopping and such. Likewise, I started to adopt effeminate mannerisms as I grew up due to my parents. Three years ago, I dated my first male. Currently, I'm 100% homosexual due to my homosexual upbringing from my gay parents.

 

No, they did not molest me or anything. I believe that children try to mimick their parents as they grow up and tend to adopt similar traits. For example, a child raised in a family that enjoys Country/Western music will probably end up listening to Country/Western music when he's fully grown. The same is true for children of alcoholics and drug abusers.

Please...Please be trolling

No, it's true. If you grew up in a family in which your parents were heavy smokers there's a high chance you'll end up a smoker.

[Tim]

My family is a bit....ergh.

 

I dont get along with dad, especially since he's a heavy drinker and im lucky to drink 1 drink a month (so there goes me adopting that trait), I have no body features that are similar to my dad's side of the family, mom verbally abuses me each day for being unemployed (hey, its not my fault).

 

Basically my family is slowly breaking down due to arguments. If they split I dont plan on living wither either. Thankfully I have all the skills to live independently; such as how to cook, clean, wash, etc.

 

...I'd probably get a name change too, to distance myself from them. :|

[Sentry_Wolf]

I have a fairly stable relationship with my Parents, my Mother who I do adore but (rather not go into really) has an illness which can very difficult at times. My Dad who I do love.. But I am very aware of his flaws, such as him being very set in his ways and despises the prospect of change. Which leads me to having a fair few conflicts when I only mean the best.

 

But I rarely feel like I have much interests that I can share with them at the most. With the background I come from is something I don't really want to stay with when I'm able to set my own ways and go to College. (away from home, hopefully) I don't seem to get much support from them when I do talk to them of my plans, which actually makes me feel more driven away more from them.

[Dax]

I had two gay fathers, and I believe that it has influenced me in a variety of ways. For one, I'm more effeminate than most males. My parents encouraged this behavior by taking me shopping and such. Likewise, I started to adopt effeminate mannerisms as I grew up due to my parents. Three years ago, I dated my first male. Currently, I'm 100% homosexual due to my homosexual upbringing from my gay parents.

 

No, they did not molest me or anything. I believe that children try to mimick their parents as they grow up and tend to adopt similar traits. For example, a child raised in a family that enjoys Country/Western music will probably end up listening to Country/Western music when he's fully grown. The same is true for children of alcoholics and drug abusers.

 

I've only recently realised how similar to my mum my sister is. O_o

[Dupin]

My family is a bit....ergh.

 

I dont get along with dad, especially since he's a heavy drinker and im lucky to drink 1 drink a month (so there goes me adopting that trait), I have no body features that are similar to my dad's side of the family, mom verbally abuses me each day for being unemployed (hey, its not my fault).

 

Basically my family is slowly breaking down due to arguments. If they split I dont plan on living wither either. Thankfully I have all the skills to live independently; such as how to cook, clean, wash, etc.

 

...I'd probably get a name change too, to distance myself from them. :|

 

Get out now. Trust me on this one. Judging by your post, you seem to have the option to leave legally, and if I were you I would do it ASAP. You are on a plane with no engines and no pilot, and it will slowly spiral downward until you have nowhere left to go. Occasionally, the wind might blow and lift your wings a little, and everything won't seem so bad, but the only real solution is to get your feet on the ground and start walking.

 

Your disagreements will work themselves out with time, but you need to distance yourself to prevent any real damage.

[pennywise]

My parents are old. My mom is 58 and my dad is 49. The only fear I have is one of them dying before I accomplish something great with my life. That really scares me. Awesome parents though. I'ms poiled.

[Hawks]

I feel like a [bleep] for saying it in this thread... but my family and parents are awesome.

 

Pretty much, yeah. We've got some wacko extended family, but my parents are pretty cool. The only thing I wish they'd done better/earlier was make me go do stuff on my own (order food at fast-food restaurants, buy stuff at stores, answer the freaking phone) because I can drive and I'm not really comfortable with answering the phone...

 

Considering everything that's happened to us (idiot builder who took a year too long to finish the house, grandma has a stroke, grandpa falls off a roof, I get diabetes, house floods, grandma has another stroke) I'm amazed my parents are still together. They've said (jokingly) that after my brother and I are gone they'll get divorced, but it's more likely they split the house, and my dad lives in the basement (pool table) and my mom lives upstairs (Wii). Yeah we're pretty funny.

 

My dad got pretty much a full ride to U of M and screwed it up bad, then had to go back to college while supporting a wife and two kids. He did it and has a master's in computer engineering. His home life as a kid wasn't great, dad smoked (and thusly died of cancer, I never met him), mom couldn't cook, and they had some 6-7 people living in a small family home for some time (my now-uncle's home life was worse, so he lived with them and rented, plus a family friend did too, plus 3 kids, parents). This is the grandma I'm not particularly fond of... My mom has a degree in telecom management but started staying home when I was born. She's a teacher's aide now, so she doesn't have to work when we don't have school, which is cool. (When I think about this, I realize I'm pretty proud of my parents for doing what they've done for me and my brother.) Her parents were/are awesome (even though grandma had TWO strokes just because she didn't take her blood pressure meds <_< ), they saved up for their kids to be able to go to college, and expected them to work hard. Plus her mom could cook. :thumbsup:

[Range_This11]

My parents assumed that since neither of them went to college, they didn't have to save up anything for my sister and I. Not one [bleep]ing dime. My sister already graduated with an English degree and I'm halfway done with my History degree. Both of us will be and are in massive debt because of student loans and no help from our parents.

[Lenin64]

My parents? As a marriage, quite the success story. Married at 18 right out of high school, celebrated their 21st anniversary in March. Dad enlisted in the Navy straight out, went to OCS after some years (5 I think). Ma was a nurse, stopped after I was born.

 

As parents? Well, that's kind of a grey area. As their first child, and they being quite young when out I popped, they didn't know much of what they were doing. I'll save the sob story and leave it to that, but they meant well and didn't beat me or anything and are mostly supportive so I can't really complain.

[Saru Inc]

I think the attitude that you need a father is what causes the damage if you lack one because you always seek one.

 

My eldest brother's father killed himself when he was about 3 or 4.

My other brother and myself's father was almost completely absent for the most part of growing up.

 

 

Hasn't done any of us any detriment.

 

 

Ok, I've read all your arguments, but I'm just deciding to respond to this post. (I say that only so you know I'm not basing my opinion on this post alone)

 

How do you know it's not done you any detriment? Maybe you're brain is blocking it out. Maybe your brothers on the inside are dying from the pain of their dad's life choices (suicide/abandonment) but figure they must appear normal to be "real men?" I understand I don't know you irl, nor your families dynamics, so while I'm probably way way off, do you at least think its a possibility?

 

 

 

I had two gay fathers, and I believe that it has influenced me in a variety of ways. For one, I'm more effeminate than most males. My parents encouraged this behavior by taking me shopping and such. Likewise, I started to adopt effeminate mannerisms as I grew up due to my parents. Three years ago, I dated my first male. Currently, I'm 100% homosexual due to my homosexual upbringing from my gay parents.

 

 

 

i always knew you were a racist commie [bleep] freak. freaks like you are taking over this damn forum. praise george bush and united states of white america !!

 

(To any mods/concerned parents, this post is in good humor, and is a bit of an inside joke, as me and Serephus are friends. Lol.) I just didn't want anyone to think I was serious, as I've had problems with miscommunication in the past)

 

On a more serious note, it was three years ago? I thought that guy you were dating was a few months ago?

 

 

Also, I actually *refuse* to believe Orientation is developed on a psychological level, while I think it can certainly affect it, I think the vast majority of stuff is happening on the chemical level.

 

Anyways, my parental situation is a tad wishy washy. My parents do honestly love me, maybe. I think they love the straight Christian version of me that they think exists, and I think they might still love me even if I became an atheist (I'm still a Christian btw), but I know for a fact they WILL disown me if I tell them I am gay, and will "shun" in a sense me out of the community. However, my parents don't really show their love, when I was a kid, (and to this day, actually) they've refused to allow me to hang out with anyone who is not a born again Christian, and republican. so srs. (Which is why I've become addicted to runescape, is because it was a way out of their cardboard box world). In the church we used to go to, in the pastors office there was a paddle with holes in it in which parents were encouraged to use, and they used quite often. Run across the aisle? Whack! Thats the kind of Christians my parents are. They just went to another anti gay rally last weekend, and protested at a church where the Christian pastor realized gays weren't "perverted sins of nature," as my parents so fervently believe. Ironically, they hate the word [bleep], and say they don't hate gays, they love them, but its just unacceptable to be gay. =\ they pity us L. I'm saving up to move out, once I do I'm deleting my family from my phone and never talking to any of them again.