Durial gets attacked by my rabid clockwork cat, which removes his head with a swift crunch of it's mechanical jaws, leaving a bloody head becrowned by a phat, which I steal.

As you turn to make your quick get away, your face lunges right into my extending fist. You fall with a broken jaw, and admit defeat handing the phat to me.

 

 

 

I take the hat, run to a dungeon with crowds of people chasing me. I put my back against a dungeon wall and threaten to burn the hat if anyone takes a step closer..

*tele grabs the hat and runs to the other side of the dungeon and threaten to burn them if they try to take the phat in any form*

I stand in shock for 5 minutes, that such a telegrab happened. I snap out of it, and lift up my celly calling the Ultimate Jmod - Andrew. After explaining the phat problem, he, along with every Jmod, comes to my aid.

 

 

 

The Jmods all together teleport everyone out of the dungeon, and return the phat to my hands. I then ask them to create the most complex labirynth ever made in the land of Runescape. It consists of 25 million stages inwhich one has to go through to get me to and the phat. In each stage contains a challange with a Jmod. If you fail - you are banned, but if you suceed, you are that much closer to the phat! Each stage gets harder as you go deeper in the labirynth, and after you pass the 1 millionth mark, you start to see a new monster "WALRUS - lvl 1000". This new monster will be driven by Jmods and will be able to 1 hit you when ever it feels. Many have tried to overcome the labirynth - but it is just too difficult. Even Mod Mark (the mod that hates me), turned his back on me, and tried retrieving the phat, but when he took his first step into the large door, he was instantly burnt to a crisp.

 

 

 

This is no easy trip.... Do you have what it takes to go through a Labirynth filled with Jmods and WALRUS's, who of which will ban you when ever they see you?

I'd do the spade trick. You know, the one where you dig a really long tunnel under the ground then come up in the middle of the floor with a souped up magic short bow and blow them all away. I'd then procede ninja style to the phat and kick wagon.

 

 

 

*Kicks butt*

 

 

 

Now I've got the phat, I'm going to tie it to a pidgeon and run from the crowd of Tip.Iters chasing me.

 

 

 

"Go for the friggin bird!!!!! I don't have it!!!! Shizzle.... Arrrggghhh...Ouch

I shoot down the pigeon with my amazing 49 range and bronze arrows (takes me 6 hours) grab the phat, then run off evily laughing to my evil lair (also known as the flador farming thingy) and i hide behind the leprechaun

I ask for it poliety, and you dont give it to me. I urge that you give it to me, you don't give it to me.I demand that you gave it to me, and you don't give it to me. I use my mavolous magic mind controlling spell. you give it to me with out asking. 8-)

*I hack the system, change me to a Jagex mod make all combat skills 99, summon full dragon and whip and get teleother runes x50 and teleblock you. Then summon the best bind spell x50M and bind you and whatever untill you cannot move for 50 Billion minutes. I kill you with my whip, recharging the special when it's low and pick up the party hat.*

 

*Then I go to this dimension, set a random code to fairy ring in that changes every time someone trys to acess it except me. Then I make this prayer: All the prayers that is level one for me only and use it, nobody can kill me now and lasts for ever! and then summon 500000000000000000000 Blood elementals that change all your skills to 1 and take off all your armour while you are in my realm, have 50M hitpoints and will hit 99 everytime!*

 

*I now do virus scanns keylogger scans etc, change password and recovs and relax.* (in my house which has everything that is marble etc..)

i report you, you get banned and i get get the phat as a reward from jagex

Whilst your walking home through a dark alley I hit you over the head with a metal railing. I grab he phat, open up a man hole, climb in, splash about in the sewer for an hour or seven, then surface in the middle of a lake. I escape in a pre-placed power boat and head out to sea. I end up in Bradford. A crowd of angry tipiters see me. I run like a mad rabbit on steroids to the highest room in the tallest tower, give the princess the hat and a quick snog then dive out of the window and fall to my death.

I strangle the princess to death (just for the hell of it) not realizing she has the phat.

 

 

 

After her lifeless body slumps to the ground I notice it on top of her wardrobe. Awesome. I was just going to steal her money.

 

 

 

My pyromania leaks out and I used a lighter to set the phat on fire. It's not a heap of ashes on the ground. Oops.

 

 

 

I make a new phat out of construction paper I randomly find in my house somewhere and somehow manage to hide in a cave in the Hindu Kush montains. :-$ Cave is guarded by large gerbils (6ft.) wearing silver top hats and pink capes, wielding mahongany canes that have a diamond knob.

Those hamster don't stand a chance against my Re-animated corpse. I ninja their wagons. I proceded into the cave, hit you over the head with my trusty metal railing and flush myself down your toilet with the phat. Unfortunetly I get stuck in the U-bend.

 

 

 

"Oh shizzle...*

o.O How did a toilet get into a cave in the Hindu Kush mountains?

 

 

 

My Gerbils regenerate and destroy the toilet you're hiding in. They send you flying with a whack of a cane and once again I have the phat... I supose. But now it's all soggy. And it smells like turtles.

my awesome sense of smell smells turtles somewhere near, i take off running to find the turtles! really its just a phat, i grab it from you and feed it to a turtle which i release into the ocean...

...too bad it goes along the coast and swims to the river near me. I watch the turtle as it....."releases" the phat onto the riverbank. Too bad im not touching it after what happened. I put it in a bag and walk off, towards lumby.....

*eats the phat*

*eats the phat*

 

 

 

i believe Fabricant still has it because you didn't take it in any form

 

 

 

while your washing it in lumbridges fountains you notice a gp on the ground you pick it up and find your phat gone after you look up then i stab you in the back with a dds and runs before you appear again in lumbridge

you left youre knife in my back i take it out and stab you with it i grab the phat

I take the party hat after I destroy your body with an evil chant . Your spirit is now doomed to wander the world forevermore without a body to call home, never finding rest or ceasing.

as i am a good learner i learn your evil chant and use it against you. u die but you take the party hat with you as your most valauble items.

 

 

 

i hunt you down and throw a posioned spear from a safe distance. and use telekinetic grab, then run for the wildy.

i poke you to death and grab the phat

Unfortunetly for you, he had Retribution on before he died. He went down and he took you with him. I quickly run past, grab the phat and lag it back to edgeville.....until I realised that I was being followed. I run around edgeville and hide in a pile of hay...

 

 

 

The doors slammed shut.....I was not alone...

i decide to go for a free needle from haystack so i dig in (imagin my surpise when i get a phat) and you don't notice until you log out and goes off to bed angrily

 

 

 

while i transpotrt the phat to jupiter where anyone who tries to get it will be crused under the massive gravity

After I log back in, I realise the phat is gone.

 

 

 

To be honest, I dont really care. I will just wait until somebody tries their luck and gets the phat.

I use an anti-gravity shield and tele to jupiter,

 

grab the phat and tele back to runescape

 

amass a world and a halfs worth of players

 

to protect me (including Zezima)

 

and lay in wait, ready to challenge anybody who

 

wants to take my precious from me :twisted: