Noobs say the funniest things!

[kenei]

i've had one (i wanted to take a screenshot of something out of boredom) but it isn't that funny

 

Me:who wants 1 mil?

 

Noob:me

 

Me:u have to answer this question.r u a noob?

 

Noob:yes

 

Me:lol.guess what?

 

Noob:what

 

Me:u were just in a screenshot btw u don't get 1 mil

 

Noob:lol

 

kind of mean but...eh' heres another odd one

 

i was hanging out with my friend when....

 

Noob (pm):hi

 

Me (pm):who r u?

 

Noob (pm):omg u don't even remember ur gf?

 

Me (pm):how did u get my username?

 

Noob (pm):*silence*

 

Me (pm):how did u get my username???

 

Noob (pm):bye *logs off*

[laughattak828]

I ws killing the lesser demon in the qizzy tower and a lvl 3 comes up to me. my combat was like 35. this is the conversation:

 

noob:woah! what spell is that?

 

me:fire bolt

 

noob:wow that is like lvl 35 magic! how long did that take you?

 

me:i started playin like 2 weeks ago.

 

noob:you must play all the time then!

 

me:noooooo

 

noob:man that is a cool wep whats it called?

 

me;fire staff

 

noob:it must have cost you so much im gunna giv u 10 gp to make up for it.

[kenei]

lol pretty funny

[laughattak828]

i said a noob thing before. it was day i was mad at the game fo somthin or another.

 

guy walks up with granite maul

 

me:will u squish my head

 

him:sure in a lil bit.

 

me like 5 mins later:can u squish my head now?

 

him:no

 

me:why not

 

him:i dont awnna

 

me:ill pay u 3k!!

 

him:no

 

teles somwher

[kenei]

i've got another.this is from a while back so i don't remember it much.i'm refering to me as "m" and the scammer as "s"

 

s:hey u want to be a mod?my dad owns runescape

 

m:sure he does

 

s:he does he can give u 10 mil!

 

m:*plays along* ok what do i have to do to become a mod?

 

s:i need ur username and pass

 

m:*reports*u have my username already and i'm not gonna give u my pass.go try and scam some1 else.

 

s:i'm not scamming!

 

m:sure....

 

s:ok i was. i'm sorry.will u be my friend?

 

m:*ignore*

[thatguy9494]

I was weilding a rubber chicken when this happened

 

 

 

Noob: I'll buy your rubber chicken.

 

Me: It's non-tradeable, sorry.

 

Noob: Try anyway.

 

*I decided to try and prove it although I knew it wouldn't work*

 

Noob: Put it in the trade.

 

Me: I can't.

 

Noob: Why?

 

Me: Because it's non-tradeable. I just said that.

 

Noob: Yes it is! Reported for item scamming!

 

 

 

I get a lot of people like that... :wall:

[kenei]

well i'm off to get some current funny noobs and some screenshots.lol i'll put any in this post.

 

go to this link for my first funny noob moment http://s288.photobucket.com/albums/ll18 ... funny2.jpg

[r4ngewarlord]

My RS Char is female, yet I'm male. I made my char female to see how people respond to a female char rather than a male char. Some people are automatically nice, some people are perverts. It's funny really.

 

 

 

I got this one time.

 

 

 

Him - "Nice bust"

 

Me - "Thanks mate, I'm a guy BTW"

 

Me - "You just stared at a man's bust"

 

this is why runescape sometimes creeps me out :( anyway nice story guys :D

[Andrew_s_2]

I was weilding a rubber chicken when this happened

 

 

 

Noob: I'll buy your rubber chicken.

 

Me: It's non-tradeable, sorry.

 

Noob: Try anyway.

 

*I decided to try and prove it although I knew it wouldn't work*

 

Noob: Put it in the trade.

 

Me: I can't.

 

Noob: Why?

 

Me: Because it's non-tradeable. I just said that.

 

Noob: Yes it is! Reported for item scamming!

 

 

 

I get a lot of people like that... :wall:

 

 

 

got similiar things happen to me.

 

 

 

Someone tried to buy my fighter torso and fire cape :|

[brunokiller]

I was weilding a rubber chicken when this happened

 

 

 

Noob: I'll buy your rubber chicken.

 

Me: It's non-tradeable, sorry.

 

Noob: Try anyway.

 

*I decided to try and prove it although I knew it wouldn't work*

 

Noob: Put it in the trade.

 

Me: I can't.

 

Noob: Why?

 

Me: Because it's non-tradeable. I just said that.

 

Noob: Yes it is! Reported for item scamming!

 

 

 

I get a lot of people like that... :wall:

 

 

 

got similiar things happen to me.

 

 

 

Someone tried to buy my fighter torso and fire cape :|

 

Can I buy your attack cape :P

 

 

 

I've had sooo many people trying to buy my fire cape lol

[3hitm4g3u]

All over Private messages, I will upload a picture when imageshack starts working again (conversation is word for word from the multiple pictures I took).

 

M= Me

 

H = Him

 

 

 

H: good day sir

 

H:im with jagex

 

M:What?

 

H:i am member of jagexs taskforce

 

M:lolwut

 

H:we need to check your account

 

M:why's that?

 

H:we been informed you have used autoers

 

H:so give us your pass

 

M:Sorry, for what?

 

H:to check your account is not cheating

 

M:And how do you check for that?

 

H: top secret methods

 

M:Such as?

 

H:secret

 

H:give pass

 

M:No.

 

H: you will be banned

 

H:do you want to be banned

 

H No you dont

 

H: so give pass

 

M: No I don't think so.

 

H: y not?

 

H: u wanna get banned?

 

M: You can't ban me.

 

H: yes i can

 

M: no you can't, because I work for jagex

 

*At least 2 minutes of silence here*

 

H:no yu dont lol

 

M: Yes, i do, and i happen to believe you are scamming

 

H:i aint i was joking

 

M: Maybe you were joking, but now I have to check your acc

 

H: wut?

 

M: You need to give me your pass and recoveries now.

 

M: before I report you to head office and get you banned

 

H:u cant

 

M: Want to try me?

 

 

 

The idiotic noob then precedes to tell me his pass and recoveries. I confirmed them, thought about changing them, but decided to let the noob have a second chance.

[Fairness]

I was in Lumbridge, screwing around with noobs and newbs. (That's what I do now that it's the most fun for your buck) Suddenly I get a message.

 

Scammer: Hi! Do you want to be a member?

 

Me: Sure. Thanks!

 

Scammer: Ok pay attention. I pay for 5 people. If you do what I say you can be one of them.

 

Me: Okay! Please tell me what I have to do!

 

(scammer doesn't respond for a minute. I start thinking maybe I was overenthusiastic. Then he does)

 

Scammer: Ok, I know you don't trust me so I'll tell you my main's pw as well if you tell me yours.

 

Me: What's your main like? *stalling*

 

Scammer tells about his main.

 

Me: OK, tell me your main's password and I'll tell me yours.

 

Scammer: Sure. User is Curse7, password is lalal. What's yours then?

 

The sad person I am, I checked for it in another window. Invalid user or password. Oh well, I tried.

 

Scammer: Uh hello?

 

Me: Yep. The password is:

 

Me: sujko78 (or something, I told him the wrong password)

 

Scammer: Kk thank you. Brb, but please log off first.

 

Me: *logs off*

 

Me: *logs back on half a minute later*

 

Scammer: Wtf you lied!

 

Me: Sorry, that was for my other acc. The pass is:

 

Me: Ding! Lamest scam ever.

 

 

 

At this point I decided to befriend the scammer. He was okay to talk to, we discussed a few more efficient scamming methods, and a few additional things like my mining outfit, the Lumbridge community etc. He didn't even beg or anything, for God's sake! (Okay, so I really just recommended him password guessing with all these anti-scam systems...)

 

Oh, and I still am not scamming. Just... screwing around with noobs and newbs.

[HiiTiffHere143]

Well, I decided to play runescape again after a while.

 

And I saw this today is lumbridge castle while spinning wool.

 

Its not funny but very nooby.

 

Technically its not me and I witnessed it but part of it was me I guess.

 

 

 

Noob to another player:I want to hack someone.

 

The the person ran off and the noob started to follow me.

 

Noob: I want to hack someone

 

Me: I see..

 

Noob: My main is lvl 90. (The player he was on was lvl 6.)

 

Me: That's nice to know.

 

Noob: But i'm quitting.

 

Me: k..

 

I went up to the bank to get more wool.

 

I went back down to notice he was trying to hack a person who was about lvl 63.

 

Noob: Can I share accounts with u?

 

(Reporting noob for encouraging other to break the rules.)

 

Lvl 63: Ya

 

Me in PM to lvl 63: You know he's trying to hack you. Don't be so blind.

 

Noob: U passed the quiz.

 

(Theres a quiz for hacking?)

 

Noob: The 1 ur on

 

Lvl 63: ?

 

Noob: Can we share it?

 

Lvl 63: No

 

Noob: And You share my 90.

 

Lvl 63: U gonna hack me

 

Noob: Ok you have failed (I thought he already passed :roll: )

 

And then I went back up to the bank and missed 15 seconds of the conversation.

 

Lvl 63: Your gonna hack me

 

Noob: No I wont!!!!!!!!!!

 

Lvl 63: Fine

 

(Reported for password scamming)

 

Noob: Whats ur pass? Letter bye letter. (Yes he used the wrong type of by)

 

Lvl 63: H

 

Lvl 63: 2

 

Lvl 63: S

 

Lvl 63: N

 

Lvl 63: I

 

Lvl 63: P

 

Lvl 63: E

 

Lvl 63: H2snipe

 

Noob: H2snipe

 

Lvl 63: Is mine

 

noob: Ur lieing!

 

Noob: You can't see your password when you type it!

 

Noob: See? *******

 

I then had enough and left. :wall: -.-

 

Noobs these days.

[HiiTiffHere143]

 

oh...k.... #-o

[SkogS]

Doing my oh so funny yews cutting when something strange happens.

 

 

 

So basicly it's me and another guy(mebe its a gurl?! :ohnoes:) cutting logs when he/she/it (Ill refer 2 this one as "it") ask my wc lvl. Here goes.

 

 

 

It: Wuts ur wc lvl?

 

Me: 83

 

It: OMG!!1 Wanna be friends?

 

Me: Um... Sure?

 

It: Sweet!

 

(At this point a 2 more guys comes around 2 WC)

 

Guy1: Wc lvls?

 

It: My best friend here got 83 wc!

 

Guy1: Who?

 

It: Shog (I srsly hate when ppl spell it like that :evil:)

 

Guy1: Nice! im 74

 

Guy2: 65 wc.

 

(Total silence for some time)

 

It PMs me: U now since we ar best friends and all, cane i have som free item and money?

 

My reply: No.. ?

 

It: Shog is a ****ing noob! *******! I hate u!

 

It logs out.

 

Guy1: Ok... that was random.

 

Guy2: Totally.

 

 

 

Maybe not all that funny but man was it random?

 

And we all keep wcing untill i get tired and logg.

[HiiTiffHere143]

This happened about an hour ago...

 

I was just cutting yews peacefully while reading this topic (I have long ways to go -.-)

 

 

 

Noob: Lol

 

Noob: lvl 68 wc?

 

Noob: Nerd.

 

I ignored it..

 

Some guy came up.

 

Guy: Wc lvls?

 

Me: 68

 

Noob: 75 :shame:

[psvstef]

^ i don't get it i think :?

[SkogS]

^ i don't get it i think :?

 

he called him a nerd for having 68 wc whilst he him self had 75 (the "noob" that is)

[psvstef]

ooh,75 is still a bit higher then 68 (for me,from 68 till 75 is alot,because i hate it lol)

[bedman]

Newb was fighting hell hounds, taking him ages. After an heroic fight which lasts ages he says: "wtf, ****** bones", and runs away.

[Fairness]

That's a newb comment, not a noob comment.

 

 

 

Now here comes the very slightly edited version of my evening's experience!

 

 

 

Scene: Stronghold of Security lvl3, at giant spiders.

 

People: Me, 2 noobs, 1 guy who was just killing spiders, 1 guy who I talked with later, giant spiders, small spiders.

 

 

 

Note: The noobs had no grammar skills, but since it is too painful for me to recreate their writing, I'll do okay grammar with them anyway. Except sometimes. Warning: May not be suitable to young children.

 

 

 

First part: (It all happened out of the blue)

 

 

 

Me: *killing giant spiders*

 

Giant spider: *says nothing*

 

First noob: Jannak (love how everyone spells it so)

 

Him: U nub

 

Him: Stop

 

Me: You need a full stop too.

 

Him: ?

 

Me: You don't know what a full stop is, do you? Failure to go to school, I suppose.

 

Me: Period.

 

Him: ?

 

Me: Ah, I see.

 

Him: U idiot, u fail

 

Him: Lag

 

Me: There is no lag. Your comp fails.

 

Him: ?

 

(I love how he is so clueless.)

 

Him: Noob

 

Him: U have aids

 

Me: Eloel, okay.

 

Him: U know what it is?

 

Me: Artificial Immunity Deficiency Syndrome. Fail, much?

 

Him: Let me explain it to u

 

Him: Your mum and this man

 

Him: They had fun in the bed, but ur mum had this disease

 

Him: The end

 

Me: The end? I wasn't even born yet. :-(

 

Him: Ur mum had aids, so you got aids too

 

Him: U ***

 

Him: G

 

Him: @

 

Him: Y

 

Me: (I don't usually report anyone, but this one was asking for it. I go through a door and report the guy.)

 

Him: Ahahaha

 

Him: Sad

 

Giant Spider: *says nothing*

 

Him: He reported

 

Him: Lmfao (why can't these morons type in one line instead of one word each line? The editor)

 

Him: Now I'm gonna report you too

 

Me: o_O for what?

 

Him: Offensive Language

 

Me: Oh, sorry, have I offended you? :( Here, take this cake. (I don't give him a cake btw, I don't even have one on me!)

 

Him: Who ate half of it

 

Him: Your fat mum?

 

Me: No sry, I ate it.

 

Him: Ewwww, this cake has aids

 

Me: *sees him eating something* And he ate it!!! Rofl!!!

 

Him: Wtf no

 

Me: I saw you do that! Doesn't matter, you'll soon be muted anyway.

 

Him: Lool

 

Me: Yep. Even slowpoke Jagex will get you.

 

Him: Do I look like muted?

 

Him: No

 

Him: Lol

 

Me: *facepalm*

 

 

 

After a few meaningless more insults, he shuts up. The next noob came meanwhile. The first noob doesn't speak any more.

 

 

 

Him/Her (Him for future reference, though I'm not sure): Who is the noob here?

 

(while we're here, if you guys are interested in their names, i.e. want to harrass them, ask in PM :))

 

Him: I guess it's 61 (me atm), not 80

 

Him: Noob

 

Me: Very smart. So because I'm a lower cb level that means I'm a noob. Genius.

 

Me: So combat level is all, yes?

 

Him: No (at this point I'm confused)

 

Him: I think money is the problem

 

Me: *collides violently with desk. Arms dismembered from me gnawing it off in my pain.*

 

Him: I'm playing on my pure, not my main

 

Him: You can see it from my name

 

Me: Overused pure name... yep, I think I got it.

 

Me: Too bad your wildy is gone, so your account is useless. (Note: I'm all for the old wildy, just wanted to ticky numskull #2 off.)

 

Him: (after a minute or so) You know, I like to have fun in a bed... if you get what I mean

 

Me: Yep. :-k

 

Him: Sometimes with guys

 

Me: Are you a guy or a girl?

 

Him: Girl, duh (at this point I wonder what he meant with sometimes... sometimes he has fun with guys or he sometimes has fun with guys?)

 

Him: Do you want to see my videos?

 

Me: Yes please

 

Me: So how can I admire your beautiful curves?

 

Him: Go to redtube . (0m (wtf? I report him for advertising rule anyway... one noob is a thing, two is almost too much fun)

 

Him: Are you on the site?

 

Giant Spider: *says nothing*

 

At this point a guy also here tries to warn me about the site. I'm like, "I'm playing along - ssssssssssshhhhhhhhh :)" He actually claimed he went to a site - it's a porno site and he also got a virus - though he removed it right after so there was no trouble for him. Thanks, though I sort of figured that out myself :P

 

Me: Yes!

 

Him: Okay, go to the first video, that's me

 

I stand between two doors and go browse some forums for a minute. Then I come back and say:

 

Me: Oooooooooh, beautiful! Can I see more of your videos?

 

Him: Sure, the others are about me as well.

 

Him: Sry, I've got to go now. Cya hun ,I feel like making out now(after the convo I try convincing myself for about 5 minutes that he was implying me being Hungarian. I don't succeed.)

 

My friend comes on at this point so I cut the convo short. I quickly reply before she can leave:

 

Me: Why didn't you play with your main then? 'Cause it's banned?

 

Me: With all the stuff you just said you could get about 15 blackmarks.

 

Him: Wtf

 

Me: Advertising for a start... could probably try reporting for offensive language as well.

 

Him: What are you talking about, I did nothing

 

Me: Just joking, sweetheart. ;-} (this is the warmest, most love-full smiley I could produce at the moment. I just realised he/she was about to have sex and I shouldn't disrupt his/her experience. Or? I did report him for the advertising though.)

 

Me: G2g too, bye! <3

 

 

 

Well, frankly, there are many days when I don't meet any idiots. This made up for it all.

[SkogS]

^ full of win

[cnut21]

All over Private messages, I will upload a picture when imageshack starts working again (conversation is word for word from the multiple pictures I took).

 

M= Me

 

H = Him

 

 

 

H: good day sir

 

H:im with jagex

 

M:What?

 

H:i am member of jagexs taskforce

 

M:lolwut

 

H:we need to check your account

 

M:why's that?

 

H:we been informed you have used autoers

 

H:so give us your pass

 

M:Sorry, for what?

 

H:to check your account is not cheating

 

M:And how do you check for that?

 

H: top secret methods

 

M:Such as?

 

H:secret

 

H:give pass

 

M:No.

 

H: you will be banned

 

H:do you want to be banned

 

H No you dont

 

H: so give pass

 

M: No I don't think so.

 

H: y not?

 

H: u wanna get banned?

 

M: You can't ban me.

 

H: yes i can

 

M: no you can't, because I work for jagex

 

*At least 2 minutes of silence here*

 

H:no yu dont lol

 

M: Yes, i do, and i happen to believe you are scamming

 

H:i aint i was joking

 

M: Maybe you were joking, but now I have to check your acc

 

H: wut?

 

M: You need to give me your pass and recoveries now.

 

M: before I report you to head office and get you banned

 

H:u cant

 

M: Want to try me?

 

 

 

The idiotic noob then precedes to tell me his pass and recoveries. I confirmed them, thought about changing them, but decided to let the noob have a second chance.

 

 

 

 

 

LOL that is hilarious! =D>

[Great_one]

All over Private messages, I will upload a picture when imageshack starts working again (conversation is word for word from the multiple pictures I took).

 

M= Me

 

H = Him

 

 

 

H: good day sir

 

H:im with jagex

 

M:What?

 

H:i am member of jagexs taskforce

 

M:lolwut

 

H:we need to check your account

 

M:why's that?

 

H:we been informed you have used autoers

 

H:so give us your pass

 

M:Sorry, for what?

 

H:to check your account is not cheating

 

M:And how do you check for that?

 

H: top secret methods

 

M:Such as?

 

H:secret

 

H:give pass

 

M:No.

 

H: you will be banned

 

H:do you want to be banned

 

H No you dont

 

H: so give pass

 

M: No I don't think so.

 

H: y not?

 

H: u wanna get banned?

 

M: You can't ban me.

 

H: yes i can

 

M: no you can't, because I work for jagex

 

*At least 2 minutes of silence here*

 

H:no yu dont lol

 

M: Yes, i do, and i happen to believe you are scamming

 

H:i aint i was joking

 

M: Maybe you were joking, but now I have to check your acc

 

H: wut?

 

M: You need to give me your pass and recoveries now.

 

M: before I report you to head office and get you banned

 

H:u cant

 

M: Want to try me?

 

 

 

The idiotic noob then precedes to tell me his pass and recoveries. I confirmed them, thought about changing them, but decided to let the noob have a second chance.

 

 

 

 

 

LOL that is hilarious! =D>

 

 

 

yea exept for the 20million black marks that he could have gotten it's pretty funny :roll: :wall:

[Tom_Servo]

All over Private messages, I will upload a picture when imageshack starts working again (conversation is word for word from the multiple pictures I took).

 

M= Me

 

H = Him

 

 

 

H: good day sir

 

H:im with jagex

 

M:What?

 

H:i am member of jagexs taskforce

 

M:lolwut

 

H:we need to check your account

 

M:why's that?

 

H:we been informed you have used autoers

 

H:so give us your pass

 

M:Sorry, for what?

 

H:to check your account is not cheating

 

M:And how do you check for that?

 

H: top secret methods

 

M:Such as?

 

H:secret

 

H:give pass

 

M:No.

 

H: you will be banned

 

H:do you want to be banned

 

H No you dont

 

H: so give pass

 

M: No I don't think so.

 

H: y not?

 

H: u wanna get banned?

 

M: You can't ban me.

 

H: yes i can

 

M: no you can't, because I work for jagex

 

*At least 2 minutes of silence here*

 

H:no yu dont lol

 

M: Yes, i do, and i happen to believe you are scamming

 

H:i aint i was joking

 

M: Maybe you were joking, but now I have to check your acc

 

H: wut?

 

M: You need to give me your pass and recoveries now.

 

M: before I report you to head office and get you banned

 

H:u cant

 

M: Want to try me?

 

 

 

The idiotic noob then precedes to tell me his pass and recoveries. I confirmed them, thought about changing them, but decided to let the noob have a second chance.

 

 

 

 

 

LOL that is hilarious! =D>

 

 

 

yea exept for the 20million black marks that he could have gotten it's pretty funny :roll: :wall:

 

:lol: I wouldn't try that again though, you might get in trouble for the same thing he would have.

 

 

 

Edit: I was trying to get my horrible range lvl up (I'm Combat 104 with 59 \ ) when this donkey comes up to me.

 

Right before I say "ooh I'm impressed" he shows off his void range bottom and zombie mask to me. Maybe he's right though. I must be a nerd for having a lower range level because I'm not playing this game all hours of the day and for not picking fights with random people. I mean COME ON his name is kooldude. *KOOL*dude. He must be right.... Right?