Noobs say the funniest things!

[wcingisbad]

I found this little girl who was kinda lost :P :P

 

 

 

Girl:Can u show me 2 a bank

 

*I was near Varrock eastern bank :roll:*

 

Me:Right there

 

Girl:Ty

 

Me:Np

 

 

 

Here's the original conversation btw:

 

 

^ That one is my str pure I made today. Kinda bored of skilling...

[AlexTeHowneR]

That's a newb comment, not a noob comment.

 

 

 

Now here comes the very slightly edited version of my evening's experience!

 

 

 

Scene: Stronghold of Security lvl3, at giant spiders.

 

People: Me, 2 noobs, 1 guy who was just killing spiders, 1 guy who I talked with later, giant spiders, small spiders.

 

 

 

Note: The noobs had no grammar skills, but since it is too painful for me to recreate their writing, I'll do okay grammar with them anyway. Except sometimes. Warning: May not be suitable to young children.

 

 

 

First part: (It all happened out of the blue)

 

 

 

Me: *killing giant spiders*

 

Giant spider: *says nothing*

 

First noob: Jannak (love how everyone spells it so)

 

Him: U nub

 

Him: Stop

 

Me: You need a full stop too.

 

Him: ?

 

Me: You don't know what a full stop is, do you? Failure to go to school, I suppose.

 

Me: Period.

 

Him: ?

 

Me: Ah, I see.

 

Him: U idiot, u fail

 

Him: Lag

 

Me: There is no lag. Your comp fails.

 

Him: ?

 

(I love how he is so clueless.)

 

Him: Noob

 

Him: U have aids

 

Me: Eloel, okay.

 

Him: U know what it is?

 

Me: Artificial Immunity Deficiency Syndrome. Fail, much?

 

Him: Let me explain it to u

 

Him: Your mum and this man

 

Him: They had fun in the bed, but ur mum had this disease

 

Him: The end

 

Me: The end? I wasn't even born yet. :-(

 

Him: Ur mum had aids, so you got aids too

 

Him: U ***

 

Him: G

 

Him: @

 

Him: Y

 

Me: (I don't usually report anyone, but this one was asking for it. I go through a door and report the guy.)

 

Him: Ahahaha

 

Him: Sad

 

Giant Spider: *says nothing*

 

Him: He reported

 

Him: Lmfao (why can't these morons type in one line instead of one word each line? The editor)

 

Him: Now I'm gonna report you too

 

Me: o_O for what?

 

Him: Offensive Language

 

Me: Oh, sorry, have I offended you? :( Here, take this cake. (I don't give him a cake btw, I don't even have one on me!)

 

Him: Who ate half of it

 

Him: Your fat mum?

 

Me: No sry, I ate it.

 

Him: Ewwww, this cake has aids

 

Me: *sees him eating something* And he ate it!!! Rofl!!!

 

Him: Wtf no

 

Me: I saw you do that! Doesn't matter, you'll soon be muted anyway.

 

Him: Lool

 

Me: Yep. Even slowpoke Jagex will get you.

 

Him: Do I look like muted?

 

Him: No

 

Him: Lol

 

Me: *facepalm*

 

 

 

After a few meaningless more insults, he shuts up. The next noob came meanwhile. The first noob doesn't speak any more.

 

 

 

Him/Her (Him for future reference, though I'm not sure): Who is the noob here?

 

(while we're here, if you guys are interested in their names, i.e. want to harrass them, ask in PM :))

 

Him: I guess it's 61 (me atm), not 80

 

Him: Noob

 

Me: Very smart. So because I'm a lower cb level that means I'm a noob. Genius.

 

Me: So combat level is all, yes?

 

Him: No (at this point I'm confused)

 

Him: I think money is the problem

 

Me: *collides violently with desk. Arms dismembered from me gnawing it off in my pain.*

 

Him: I'm playing on my pure, not my main

 

Him: You can see it from my name

 

Me: Overused pure name... yep, I think I got it.

 

Me: Too bad your wildy is gone, so your account is useless. (Note: I'm all for the old wildy, just wanted to ticky numskull #2 off.)

 

Him: (after a minute or so) You know, I like to have fun in a bed... if you get what I mean

 

Me: Yep. :-k

 

Him: Sometimes with guys

 

Me: Are you a guy or a girl?

 

Him: Girl, duh (at this point I wonder what he meant with sometimes... sometimes he has fun with guys or he sometimes has fun with guys?)

 

Him: Do you want to see my videos?

 

Me: Yes please

 

Me: So how can I admire your beautiful curves?

 

Him: Go to redtube . (0m (wtf? I report him for advertising rule anyway... one noob is a thing, two is almost too much fun)

 

Him: Are you on the site?

 

Giant Spider: *says nothing*

 

At this point a guy also here tries to warn me about the site. I'm like, "I'm playing along - ssssssssssshhhhhhhhh :)" He actually claimed he went to a site - it's a porno site and he also got a virus - though he removed it right after so there was no trouble for him. Thanks, though I sort of figured that out myself :P

 

Me: Yes!

 

Him: Okay, go to the first video, that's me

 

I stand between two doors and go browse some forums for a minute. Then I come back and say:

 

Me: Oooooooooh, beautiful! Can I see more of your videos?

 

Him: Sure, the others are about me as well.

 

Him: Sry, I've got to go now. Cya hun ,I feel like making out now(after the convo I try convincing myself for about 5 minutes that he was implying me being Hungarian. I don't succeed.)

 

My friend comes on at this point so I cut the convo short. I quickly reply before she can leave:

 

Me: Why didn't you play with your main then? 'Cause it's banned?

 

Me: With all the stuff you just said you could get about 15 blackmarks.

 

Him: Wtf

 

Me: Advertising for a start... could probably try reporting for offensive language as well.

 

Him: What are you talking about, I did nothing

 

Me: Just joking, sweetheart. ;-} (this is the warmest, most love-full smiley I could produce at the moment. I just realised he/she was about to have sex and I shouldn't disrupt his/her experience. Or? I did report him for the advertising though.)

 

Me: G2g too, bye! <3

 

 

 

Well, frankly, there are many days when I don't meet any idiots. This made up for it all.

 

 

 

Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome*, fail much?

 

 

 

l2aids please

[Fairness]

Heh, I know I said it right here. Probably mixed it up in the post. *facedesk's himself*

[HiiTiffHere143]

^ i don't get it i think :?

 

he called him a nerd for having 68 wc whilst he him self had 75 (the "noob" that is)

 

 

 

I'm a girl :| but thats ok.. I guess :\ lol

[AlexTeHowneR]

Heh, I know I said it right here. Probably mixed it up in the post. *facedesk's himself*

 

 

 

Forgive me then; you still remain the master of awesome and ALWAYS win.

[SkogS]

^ i don't get it i think :?

 

he called him a nerd for having 68 wc whilst he him self had 75 (the "noob" that is)

 

 

 

I'm a girl :| but thats ok.. I guess :\ lol

 

ah sorry bout that

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

omg! :ohnoes:

[fubol]

fubolfreak = me

 

the others = noobs

 

 

 

[Fairness]

Heh, I know I said it right here. Probably mixed it up in the post. *facedesk's himself*

 

 

 

Forgive me then; you still remain the master of awesome and ALWAYS win.

 

 

 

Thank you, come again.

[afatbomba]

I'm sure several other players have encountered this before the trading and reporting updates, but I've encountered these even after the updates.

 

 

 

Noob: Give me your rune items for free or I will report you forty times.

 

Me: Sorry, even if I wanted to, I could not. Did you ever read about the trade restrictions.

 

Noob: Yuz lyin

 

Me: Try reading the Jagex news database or knowledge base, they will tell you everything.

 

Noob: I'm warring you..........

 

Noob: Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo (continued in Jeaopardy style)

 

Me: Do you need to go to the lavatory that bad? There should be one near your console somehow.

 

Noob: Five seconds.

 

Me: Even if you wanted to try and report me, you could do it only once, then wait several minutes.

 

Noob: Fine, be that way. As of now you are reptored by me and 39 of my friends.

 

(I report him for misuse of customer support)

 

Me: Enjoy your day on RS noob, it might be one of your last (I teleport out).

 

 

 

 

 

It's been a year so far and I have never been banned. :thumbsup:

 

I bet he was blackmarked at least.

 

 

 

It's a good thing this is not a US based game. Blackmail is a federal crime.

[laughattak828]

I doubt they would rrest someone for black mail in a game lol.

[Georgelemmons]

Edit:I accidentally posted the same chat frame twice... Just Ignore it.

 

[hide=Yeah...I don't know what was wrong with this guy][/hide]

 

He was saying stuff like this for over an hour on the Karmanja dock.. I got REALLY mad at him :evil:

[Lep]

Note: Coolbreeze and Tromboybk are the same person.

 

[hide=Yeah...I don't know what was wrong with this guy][/hide]

 

He was saying stuff like this for over an hour on the Karmanja dock.. I got REALLY mad at him :evil:

 

 

 

LMFAO AHAHAHA! That made me laugh so much! Lmao, I even spit on my pants by accident while drinking pop. :lol: :lol: :lol: I am a guard. A guard like no other. :lol:

[Vikki]

I'm mining in Al Kharid. This idiot follows me around trying to "steal" the ores. Ofcourse, almost all of the time i'm getting them

 

 

 

[i mine some coal]

 

 

 

Noob: Haha!

 

Me: I got the coal...

 

 

 

[A little while later...]

 

 

 

Noob: Omg noob!

 

Me: Do you know what a noob is?

 

Noob: It means your face!

 

Me: It means you're incapable of mining...

 

 

 

[He continues following me around]

 

[i go to the bank and come back]

 

[He follows me again]

 

 

 

Noob: Move witch!

 

Noob: Lol

 

Noob: Get it?!

 

Me: L...O...L...

 

Noob: Move witch

 

Noob: Wanna be my girlfriend?

 

 

 

[i actually stared at the screen stunned]

 

 

 

Me: Oh my god. I cannot believe you just asked me that

 

Noob: Lol

 

Noob: I'll just steal all your ores then

 

Me: Ok...

 

 

 

[Him making pervy jokes]

 

Noob: Are you like 8 or something?

 

Me: No, i'm 15.

 

Noob: Ha im 16 that makes me smarter

 

Me: No, it just makes you older...

 

Noob: **** off!

 

Noob: ill pay you

 

Noob: You can be my witch

 

Noob: Lol haha. Get it?

 

Me: Lmao!

 

Noob: Add me?

 

Me: No

 

Noob: Aww why not

 

Noob: I'm not really like that

 

Me: Because you are annoying

 

Noob: Nooo im not like that! I was just bored.

 

 

 

 

 

-.-

[Georgelemmons]

Note: Coolbreeze and Tromboybk are the same person.

 

[hide=Yeah...I don't know what was wrong with this guy][/hide]

 

He was saying stuff like this for over an hour on the Karmanja dock.. I got REALLY mad at him :evil:

 

 

 

LMFAO AHAHAHA! That made me laugh so much! Lmao, I even spit on my pants by accident while drinking pop. :lol: :lol: :lol: I am a guard. A guard like no other. :lol:

 

 

 

It was pretty funny.. for the first 30 minutes... -.-

[darkblade986]

Not necessarily a "Noobs say the funniest things" but "Noobs do the stupidest things..."

 

 

 

Long story short... someone made a 100M drop party...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I fell for it... Needle, thread, and leather...

[Zygimantas]

Not necessarily a "Noobs say the funniest things" but "Noobs do the stupidest things..."

 

 

 

Long story short... someone made a 100M drop party...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I fell for it... Needle, thread, and leather...

Lol, well its still 100mil..

[max_miller20]

 

 

 

I was alching at the time.

[psvstef]

 

 

 

I was alching at the time.

 

 

 

lol :roll:

[bikbik]

 

Line 16 and 17 is the best

[REDACTED]

(N = Noob / M = Me who decided to act an a$$)

 

OK this happened last night, while I was getting exp for Hunting down at the Mort Myre (excuse spelling) swamps getting me some Swamp Lizards. I was already in the area, but when I logged into one world, I saw someone was occupying the first section of trees in which you can set traps.

 

 

 

So I log off, respectfully, and try another world. Moment I get on

 

 

 

N: This my patch noob, get of now

 

M: Nah (He asked for it IMO...)

 

 

 

Now mind, I was only like level 37 or so, I was going to be there up until the level needed to hunt Orange Salamanders.

 

 

 

N: Hunting Level?

 

M: 37

 

N: L0L what a n00b

 

M: So... you were my level once before you know...

 

N: idc...

 

N: You get lesser hunting here anyway

 

M: "idc" (he had secured to the first 2 plants, while I had one, and didn't decide to fight over getting one more with my "set 2 traps and one time")

 

N: LMAO look at you not get any

 

 

 

Now I decide to totally ignore him, and laugh at his attempts to seek attention

 

 

 

N: ...

 

N: N00b

 

N: N00b

 

N: B00b (Yes I can finally report him for something! - Weak I know... but I don't wanna be called a [bleep]... :P )

 

N: B00b

 

N: N00b

 

 

 

Time goes by, I catch a few, he does nothing apart from

 

 

 

N: Wow, noob got one?

 

N: Your still a noob

 

 

 

time goes by further, he heads to bank every now and then, so I quickly use the trees I can in this time period, moment he comes back I'm back to using one, willingly. Now this is were I start to enjoy the whole thing that one bit more...

 

 

 

N: N00b, your whole family n00b and you low level

 

 

 

He keeps on the act, clearly getting bored as I wont say anything back... then he heads off to the bank, while I reach level 40 hunter... (I can now set up 3 traps at a time)

 

 

 

With him gone I set up net traps on the 3 trees, and keep it up, catch and setting up traps, rather quickly... He eventually comes back from bank...

 

 

 

N: lolwut?

 

N: let me have 2 please

 

*silence*

 

N: OK, one?

 

 

 

Now sometimes he would succeed, but I ended up getting them back... I would see him sit at a spot... waiting for me to collect the catch... but I just let it sit there for a while hanging in the tree.

 

 

 

N: OMG N00b, I was here first you nerd

 

M: You also insulted me...

 

N: I don't care n00b, these were my 2 trees

 

 

 

Whaaaa? 2? I check his highscore and see he is level 38... wtf

 

 

 

M: Did you not laugh at me for being level 37 a while ago?

 

N: HAHA, yeah what a n00b...

 

M: You do realise I have 40 now right? as I am placing traps on all of these trees...

 

N: OMG! N00b I'm reporting you N00b

 

M: Oh please... you and your limited vocabulary.

 

 

 

I'm still here collecting and setting my traps

 

 

 

N: What you mean limited noob?

 

M: The only insult you have is "noob"...

 

N: well suggest somthing else then, newb

 

N: Look better already... haha newb

 

M: Well...

 

M: At least I can say, You Got Served!

 

N: wtf man, stop trying to act black

 

M: ... whatever, I'm over talking to you

 

N: Listen noob, I aint never got served

 

M: Just observe... and shut up

 

 

 

He now was silent, watching me get all the traps with my now higher level than his... Might not be funny to you... but was hilarious to me...

 

 

 

He eventually logs off while I get all the exp! Yay

[Omali]

I don't mind when someone says "let's share them", assuming I'm in the mood to share, but if someone starts out making demands or saying something is theirs, you can bet that I'll be forcing them off the world, be in dragons or hunter spots.

 

 

 

Nice story though, what an idiot.

[Atom Smash40]

perfect. so N = noob M = me

 

 

 

M = are those red d legs? (as I am talking about dhide chaps looking different with HD update. he is lvl 59)

 

 

 

N = you mean red d chaps?

 

 

 

M = yes, that's wut I said.

 

 

 

N = no. there are drag platelegs

 

 

 

M = that's y I said "red". there's a difference

 

 

 

N = no. you're a noob. I have a 101 main.

 

 

 

LOL. what's the point of putting red in front if I wanna ask about chaps? I ask some 112 wut he thinks about when he hears red d legs. surprise, surprise. he says chaps. honestly. get ur item names right b4 u start an arguement with one who has been playing since march 04. I'm 92 btw

[Snapdagon]

Haha. I have tons of n00b storys(doesn't everyone?)

 

 

 

The first was when I was practicing range in Ardy Zoo.

 

N00b:hey n00b this is my spot!

 

Me:Is it now?

 

n00b:ya its mine u n00b

 

Me:Great for you-n00b telegrabs about 10 of my iron arrows-

 

n00b:hey n00b u want ur arrowsMe: Not really...

 

n00b: 2 bad theyre mine now

 

Me:..

 

The idiot keeps telegrabing my arrows for the next half hour -.-

 

 

 

 

 

#2- Not really a n00b story. My friend made an account called "Loch Ness27" and hunted down her friend with me watching. Her two friends will be called A and B

 

Friend: Hey! Melissa!

 

A:...Do I know you?

 

Friend:It's me! Nessie! The lochness monster!

 

B: Right

 

A: I'm sorry but I don't think I know you

 

Friend: Sure you do!

 

She starts saying all this stuff like who they had a crush on and stuff. Minor things.

 

A and B are getting creeped out

 

Friend: So I'm coming to NY soon to get you!

 

A: What are you talking about?

 

B: We're from new Hampshire!

 

Friend: No....it's 87 degrees where you are right?

 

 

 

It is. ;D B soon calls me "Um Emily...someone stalking me! Helphelphelp" I tell her it's all in her head.

 

 

 

Friend: So do you taste better with ketchup or mustard?

 

A: Neither.

 

B:I have to go...

 

Friend: Just remember...Nessie will get you!

 

 

 

My friend went to their house and banged on the door screaming "IT'S THE LOCH NESS MONSTER WITH KETCHUP AND MUSTARD!'

 

 

 

Very funny. :lol:

[murgatroid99]

I had a strange real life experience with something like this:

 

I have a friend in real life that is new to an MMO (not Runescape, but it's not important). He joined recently (I think within the past few days) and while we were talking he decided to tell me about his first couple of days in the game. He told me that when he was playing, for some reason he decided to follow somebody around. For an entire hour he did nothing but follow this one person and say the same thing over and over, until this other person teleported or something to escape my friend. It seemed like a very newbish and annoying thing to do. It was very strange for me to have read this thread for a while and understand MMO etiquette and then hear about my friend cheerfully tell me about something that would greatly annoy me or anyone else.

[max_miller20]

(N = Noob / M = Me who decided to act an a$$)

 

OK this happened last night, while I was getting exp for Hunting down at the Mort Myre (excuse spelling) swamps getting me some Swamp Lizards. I was already in the area, but when I logged into one world, I saw someone was occupying the first section of trees in which you can set traps.

 

 

 

So I log off, respectfully, and try another world. Moment I get on

 

 

 

N: This my patch noob, get of now

 

M: Nah (He asked for it IMO...)

 

 

 

Now mind, I was only like level 37 or so, I was going to be there up until the level needed to hunt Orange Salamanders.

 

 

 

N: Hunting Level?

 

M: 37

 

N: L0L what a n00b

 

M: So... you were my level once before you know...

 

N: idc...

 

N: You get lesser hunting here anyway

 

M: "idc" (he had secured to the first 2 plants, while I had one, and didn't decide to fight over getting one more with my "set 2 traps and one time")

 

N: LMAO look at you not get any

 

 

 

Now I decide to totally ignore him, and laugh at his attempts to seek attention

 

 

 

N: ...

 

N: N00b

 

N: N00b

 

N: B00b (Yes I can finally report him for something! - Weak I know... but I don't wanna be called a [bleep]... :P )

 

N: B00b

 

N: N00b

 

 

 

Time goes by, I catch a few, he does nothing apart from

 

 

 

N: Wow, noob got one?

 

N: Your still a noob

 

 

 

time goes by further, he heads to bank every now and then, so I quickly use the trees I can in this time period, moment he comes back I'm back to using one, willingly. Now this is were I start to enjoy the whole thing that one bit more...

 

 

 

N: N00b, your whole family n00b and you low level

 

 

 

He keeps on the act, clearly getting bored as I wont say anything back... then he heads off to the bank, while I reach level 40 hunter... (I can now set up 3 traps at a time)

 

 

 

With him gone I set up net traps on the 3 trees, and keep it up, catch and setting up traps, rather quickly... He eventually comes back from bank...

 

 

 

N: lolwut?

 

N: let me have 2 please

 

*silence*

 

N: OK, one?

 

 

 

Now sometimes he would succeed, but I ended up getting them back... I would see him sit at a spot... waiting for me to collect the catch... but I just let it sit there for a while hanging in the tree.

 

 

 

N: OMG N00b, I was here first you nerd

 

M: You also insulted me...

 

N: I don't care n00b, these were my 2 trees

 

 

 

Whaaaa? 2? I check his highscore and see he is level 38... wtf

 

 

 

M: Did you not laugh at me for being level 37 a while ago?

 

N: HAHA, yeah what a n00b...

 

M: You do realise I have 40 now right? as I am placing traps on all of these trees...

 

N: OMG! N00b I'm reporting you N00b

 

M: Oh please... you and your limited vocabulary.

 

 

 

I'm still here collecting and setting my traps

 

 

 

N: What you mean limited noob?

 

M: The only insult you have is "noob"...

 

N: well suggest somthing else then, newb

 

N: Look better already... haha newb

 

M: Well...

 

M: At least I can say, You Got Served!

 

N: wtf man, stop trying to act black

 

M: ... whatever, I'm over talking to you

 

N: Listen noob, I aint never got served

 

M: Just observe... and shut up

 

 

 

He now was silent, watching me get all the traps with my now higher level than his... Might not be funny to you... but was hilarious to me...

 

 

 

He eventually logs off while I get all the exp! Yay

 

 

 

That one was halarious! :lol:

 

 

 

I have had similar experience to that.

 

When i was power mining once I was watching this guy mine gold, and he would always ask people what their mining level was. If it was lower that his he would outright call them a noob. If it was higher he wouldn't say anything. So eventually he gets bored and asks me my level. I was actually about 30 level higher than him but I knew he was 52 mining. So I lied and said that I had 3k xp left until 52 mining. He laughs and starts calling me a noob, I'm about 40 combat levels above the guy too. He gets pretty wound up and starts going on a rant about how nooby I am and how only noobs mine iron.