You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return? Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids. Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to. Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone. Edit: thanks ember :[/hide] who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps. @ember: tell me how its bull? i ask you! WHAT could they be possibly saying that hurts so badly that you cant bear to ignore it? EDIT: sorry if im appear as if im yelling im really not trying to :oops: In case you haven't noticed (I stated it in my previous post be whatever) I've gotten over all of these things a while ago. My life is anything but the hellhole it use to be. It didn't have to become a hellhole, but nevertheless it did. And not just once but EVERY SINGLE social environment that I went through I faced the same exclusion. Of course now I could change everything and had it been someone different they could have probably prevented the exclusion from happening in the first place. But none of that happened, I didn't know how to interact with people and I was forced to deal with my exclusion. However, I did misjudge you, I thought you were more socially accepted. But it seems your group of 5 people is abit excluded. Still, that's not nearly as bad as having NOBODY to turn to. The only person who I truely had a bond with was my pet animal. I can't believe you're willing to seclude yourself from all the other kids just to be with these 5 friends, relying on only a few friends is something that I never understand and honestly hope I never have to go through. It's much better to be able to be friends with these people who were bullies (as well as my older friends) instead of having to ignore them all the time. I don't have to ignore the suffering because there is no suffering. Oh and let's get one thing straight: I don't feel sorry for myself. Even if it was painfull to endure, I tried everything I could to change my situation, and it worked! My story is not about sadness and pain. It's about determination to keep trying and eventually triumphing over my greatest challenge. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I was merely trying to show you just how it felt to be in my shoes. If anything, I wish for people to feel hope that even if everyone seems against you and you see yourself as the biggest introverted geek, you can become a social and popular person. it seems now that we've come to an understanding Solidus, but about the secluding myself to these 5 friends i do that because nobody else at that school would care if a got a new character to 70 in WoW or if i had just gotten my first prestige in CoD4 most people at my school dont even play video games. if you take out the girls (who im 1001% positive they dont play video games) the people who jampack their lives with sports to where the only people they have enough time to spend with are the other people who jampack their lives with sports the people who are in a higher grade so i dont get to spend much time with them other than at lunch and the people who cant afford games and i have barely anyone to play with. that basically why i seclude myself from the others