kindness - how far is too far?

[ixfd64]

Note: This is a sensitive topic, so be prepared.

 

 

 

A week before I was banned, a player befriended me because he thought I was nice. He asked me if I would give him something for his 12th birthday, and I said "maybe." Some time later, he said that his mother had a heart attack, and he logged off for a while. After he came back online, he said that his mother had passed away.

 

 

 

Previously, he had wanted some money from me, so I told him that he had to work for it, and I gave him some job options. However, after his mother's reported death, he said that he was no longer in the mood for working. That was totally understandable.

 

 

 

Of course, I knew that this was likely to be a scam, and that he hoped that I would feel bad for him. I asked myself, why would a kid be playing an online game if his mother just passed away? However, there are people who indeed try to "escape" real-life problems by various means, such as playing games, drinking, taking drugs, and gambling. I also wondered, shouldn't this kid be with his mother at the hospital?, but I decided that it was also possible that his father made him stay at home. After all, many parents would not want to let their young children watch a loved one die.

 

 

 

It all happened within a rather short time, but OK, it's possible that he lives close to a hospital.

 

 

 

Yes, there are some disgusting people who will fake the death of a family in order to get virtual items, but this person's story seemed pretty convincing to me at first, and it wasn't like the generic "I have cancer, free stuff plz" scams. After all, I like to go with the concept of "innocent until proven guilty."

 

 

 

He told me that he had access to his mother's character, and that she had always wanted a whip. Some of you may have heard of organizations like the Make-a-Wish Foundation or the Dream Foundation, which grants certain requests ("wishes") to people suffering from terminal illnesses. I decided to help his mother's character get one posthumously. Her character didn't appear in the hiscores but was already taken, so I assumed that the kid would train her character to 70 attack. I didn't really have the heart to report him for breaking rule 6, assuming that he was telling the truth.

 

 

 

I finally decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I gave him about 1.3m worth of stuff, knowing that this could all be part of an elaborate scam.

 

 

 

He asked for more, and while I told him that I felt sorry for him, I couldn't give him any more items.

 

 

 

After some chatting with fellow player moderators, most had believed that this was a scam, but said that I handled this situation very well.

 

 

 

After all, I think that it's important to help others recover from grief, and I will always try to make someone happy if I have the chance. Of course, real-life is far more important than a game, and I'd rather get scammed for 5m instead of facing the fact that someone's mother had just died.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Did I go too far? What would you have done in this case?

 

 

 

Comments welcome.

[Lacrosse_fan]

Sounds to me like you were getting played...I can tell you, if my mom was dying, the last thing she would want is to get a whip in RuneScape...Especially if she isn't even ranked....

 

 

 

BTW, don't you have to be 13 to play? He wanted something for his 12th birthday, when you have to be 13 to play? :uhh:

[pikachu54673]

Sounds to me like you were getting played...I can tell you, if my mom was dying, the last thing she would want is to get a whip in RuneScape...Especially if she isn't even ranked....

 

 

 

BTW, don't you have to be 13 to play? He wanted something for his 12th birthday, when you have to be 13 to play? :uhh:

 

 

 

Just a sad, sad, scam by another immature underage RS player -.-

[Dizzle229]

Lol. nobody follows that rule.

[icecube]

You can play when you're under 13 with an adult's permission.

 

 

 

I think this is one of those situations where you think you know what you'd do if it ever happened to you, but your actions may change when it actually does occur.

 

I'd be quite skeptical if something like that happen but I may end up giving him the money as well. It's just a game and if there's a chance it makes some kid out there happy especially after a love one passes away, it's worth it.

 

 

 

Does seem like he played you though, especially when he asked for more after.

[Italian5kamikaze]

I wouldnt have given him anything.

 

 

 

I remember one of my friends told me her mom just died and i tried to console her as much as i could and she was thankful enough for that, she didnt ask for anything but the only reason she was on runescape was so she could talk to her friends and try to calm herself down.

 

 

 

You handled it rather well though i dont think i would have given him 1.3m.

[JordanGM]

If it was true, you helped a lot. If it wasn't, that player is greedy as hell.

 

I really don't know what to answer to your question..

[Th3_Crusader]

Who knows, there's a whole bunch of people out there who are honest, or just plain out liars. If he wasn't telling the truth, it's horrible to even say a loved one died, even though he/she didn't. But if he really did tell the truth, you did well.

 

 

 

Th3 Crusader

[Lordjake]

Yeah, I think you were tricked :|

 

 

 

It takes a real [wagon] to lie about a family death to get pixels, but you did what you felt was right. I highly doubt anyone would get over his/her mother's death by being given 2m worth of stuff.

 

 

 

I didn't know what to think of the situation, until you said he came back and wanted more stuff. That put the nail in the coffin for me.

 

 

 

edit: Ignore the horrible pun in the last sentence there. :oops:

[Peronix]

You defiantly went too far. You must have known that since he had previously asked you for free stuff that this reported death was just a sad attempt to get you to feel sorry for him... and I guess it worked. When you gave him the items he probably thought "SWEET, maybe this will work on someone else!!!"

 

 

 

I know that if my mother were on her deathbed, the last thing I would be doing is playing RuneScape. Even if I was 12 at the time.

[Wallettheif]

Scam. I bet he's from Miniclip.

[Winner5555]

I wouldnt have given him anything.

 

 

 

I remember one of my friends told me her mom just died and i tried to console her as much as i could and she was thankful enough for that, she didnt ask for anything but the only reason she was on runescape was so she could talk to her friends and try to calm herself down.

 

 

 

You handled it rather well though i dont think i would have given him 1.3m.

 

 

 

Same for me, my friend's mom died from cancer, and the only reason he was on runescape was to talk to me and other people (I was on vacation at the time so he couldn't call us up).

 

 

 

I wouldn't give any random stranger money if they say their parents died, it would take a real life friend or someone I've known online for years.

[OldDucky]

Somtimes players out there make up stories that are truely convincing, the ones you cannot say no to. It's disgusting the way the players make up sad stories, and It turns out to be a scam.

 

 

 

I'm sorry for the lost of your money by an immature scammer. People are always looking for targets.

 

 

 

O'Ducky

[amoeba_009]

If he wasent lying, then I commend you. If he is lying, this is exactly what I loathe about rs today. ITS A FREAKING GAME. Kids talk about the death of a loved one as if its nothing. It makes me sort of sad, and pissed off.

[Returned3]

Story seems like you've been scammed. But i cant think of any sicko who would say that their parents died to get better stuff. And it aint possible for him to be playing Runescape, hes 12, when his mother died he would be VERY sad and maybe depressed. I doubt you'd still be able to log on and ask for stuff.

 

 

 

If it happens to me, I'd just say that i feel sorry for him. Thats it.

[Lugia_Lvl138]

You definately went too far. I lost my mom a little over 5 years ago to a sudden brain aneurysm. It was 3 weeks after I turned 13. Let me tell you, my Gamecube/Computer Games/GBA were pretty much the last things on my mind. I was way too grief stricken to care about those things until a bit later. Five years later at age 18 it still hurts a bit. Getting a free Whip will not change that. Getting TEN Whips won't change that. A guy dying next to me and dropping a Phat Set and a Cracker won't change that. Point is, NOTHING that happens in a "pixel world" will change the way I feel or felt about my mom's death. I assume this is the same for most people if not everyone who lost someone they had a very close relationship with.

 

 

 

P.S: I nearly cryed irl while writing this, even though my in game bank value is 150m+. A Whip would not console this kid had he truely lost his mom.

[B_Ryan20]

thats what filter is for. ive had several ppl elaborate scam me then i learned better. -.-

[Omali]

If he's telling the truth, then good for you.

 

 

 

If he's lying, then don't worry. Karma always has a way of catching up with people. My only concern is that this means that a family member of his will suffer and, although he may not realize it, it will be on his shoulders.

[Rebdragon]

After all, I like to go with the concept of "innocent until proven guilty."

 

That was the only flaw I saw in your thought process. Switch that around, especially on the internet, and even moreso on Runescape.

 

 

 

Would I have done the same thing in your shoes? Probably not. You chose the kind, selfless path, while I would probably choose the skeptical, immensely annoyed path. Your decision would be better than mine in every way, except for any regret about losing a certain amount of work put into that 1.3M. If you're self-sacrificing enough to do that for any random person, then in your case, you made the right decision, in every way.

 

 

 

If he's lying, then don't worry. Karma always has a way of catching up with people. My only concern is that this means that a family member of his will suffer and, although he may not realize it, it will be on his shoulders.

 

Karma is a bedtime story for grownups.

[Giordano]

With him going back in and asking for free stuff after telling his story of his mothers death, automatically raises a SCAMMER ALARM warning in my head. I wouldn't be too trustworthy of a little-time known new friend in the Internet...

[AThousandLies]

Ultimately, it is your stuff and you can do what you want with it, but I think you fell for a scam. The whole "my mum died" thing is so common on the internet - I've heard it on tonnes of games. The fact that it's on Runescape just seals the deal ... which was already sealed to begin with.

 

 

 

Rebdragon articulated my thoughts perfectly; on the internet, and especially in popular MMORPG's, you have to switch that policy around.

 

 

 

The thing is, this was, in my opinion and probably that of many others, 99% chance a scam. You've given this guy 1.3 million - do you think he'll stop there? I don't mean to crucify you for it or make you responsible for other actions, but there's a chance that this guy's just gonna keep on trying to pull the same scam as a result of your generosity. I'd advise not falling paying any heed to this sort of thing again, no matter how realistic it may seem.

[nickeley102]

I find it hard to believe your story, let alone his

[ixfd64]

You guys are probably right.

 

 

 

I did tell him that virtual items (a.k.a. RuneScape gold) won't help him very much, but he said that RuneScape was his life. I asked him why he didn't seek real-life friends for comfort, and he said that he didn't have any because nobody liked him. :?

[Sharane]

Honest people refuse generous gifts such as that, and the way I usually know I can trust people since they don't accept some valuable over me (I offer some people my one party hat and they refuse it).

 

 

 

Having your own MOTHER die is the saddest thing that can happen in a lifetime... He wasn't telling the truth even if Runescape was his life. If my mom died I wouldn't be near anyone or anything else. Of course, it's also the ultimate scapegoat used by people to avoid further insults and getting away with things (I remember this back from my school days a lot, with others picking fights on me then they start crying when I lose my temper and have no control over my tongue).

 

 

 

In the end, you were gullible to a pretty childish trick.

[SwreeTak]

I would have added that person to my ignore list if he or she kept begging for free stuff from me. But if she or he just asked once or so, I would maybe have told him or she how to make a little cash and give him or her some work options. But that's only if she or he is nice against me and doesn't repeat "Free st0ff plz" all the time. Sadly, that's how the most beggars do.