"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Wisp]

To be honest, all these PUA things really annoy me. I mean, I'm not some feminist who will rant about how men are objectifying women, and all that, but all this PUA stuff just seems really smug. The fact that all the articles or websites all use dozens of abbreviations just seems really... elitist or something.

[deathdrow]

:)

[Iamdan]

 

Whoever wrote that article is so full of [cabbage] it's not even funny.

 

The idea is correct. You can't just straight up complement hot girls, or even girls in general. It's kind of awkward and random. But sarcastic, negative comments show a bit more creativity and are definitely more interesting. But the person who wrote those articles had an infinite amount of time to write them in response to hypothetical "[bleep]-shields" (or whatever those stupid PUA writers call it), and they were awful. I'm pretty sure they weren't even "negs". If I were a girl I'd be telling him that's it's getting late.

 

Those are the negs mentioned in 'the game', mystery came up with them so they are ancient. They aren't good ones, but should still work unless the girl has heard them before. (which is likely)

 

To answer the original question, girls that get hit on a lot will dismiss you instantly (who has the time to screen every guy properly) unless you know how to get through their screen. The purpose of the neg is to be different. Most guys will give them a compliment, she enjoys the ego boost and then ignores him. If you don't give her that ego boost, she will be wondering why you didn't, and will try and get it out of you. She then gives fake IOIs and tests to see if you respond, and the game begins. That's the idea anyway, I can't say I even see many 9s and 10s let alone talk to enough to confirm the idea from experience.

 

doomsavenger, I can see how you would think that, but it does have a purpose. Brad P's fashion bible covers the reasons for elitism perfectly if you're interested. (he applies the elitism to fashion but it works in this situation) Using jargon like the word neg also cuts down paragraphs of information into a 3 letter word.

[MotherBrainII]

OK, I'm not really the type that knows much about girls, but I'm guessing the reason you're confused about this is because she's ignoring you, right? Well, by the looks of it, I think she's got something for you, and she's too shy to admit it, that's why she's ignoring you IMO.

 

Just my two cents.

 

That would make a little sense, but why someone would pass up a good opportunity to talk to someone who is trying to express interest is beyond me. Reb's comment about girls having labyrinthine and nonsensical brains is sadly accurate. :(

 

She's going hot and cold. A lot of girls do that when they like you. They think it keeps you interested, when it really just freaks us the [bleep] out and we get scared that she's an alien or something.

 

Anyways, ask her out.

 

Are you talking about "experienced" girls here? I'm fairly sure that this girl has never been in a relationship before, so I'm not sure how applicable the games that some girls like to play are here. If you aren't, disregard my comment; it's just that this girl doesn't strike me as the type to do so.

 

Well a smart girl is definitely the kind of girl you should be with. My boyfriend thinks I'm smart and says he probably wouldn't like me otherwise. Although she is quiet, is she popular? It sucks to say but sometimes popular girls will ignore any friend of theirs who isn't when they are in public. Or maybe she doesn't hear you. I was always the quiet type in school, and I would get "weird" in a crowd full of people, so when a friend say hi I would just smile and continue walking. Maybe that's the case...

 

I'm fairly sure this isn't the case. She's about as popular as I am, although a fair bit less eccentric, and many of these instances have been when it's just the two of us. Sometimes she looks at me when I speak to her, so I know she's heard me, but she still doesn't respond. As mentioned above, she hasn't been in a relationship before, and is generally extremely polite, so ignoring someone who is speaking to her is very much out of character.

[DerekZoolandah]

Well.

 

I just broke up with my girlfriend of almost a year a little bit ago. She really, really, meant a lot to me, but this entire week she's just been mean and hateful. She does this all the time, too - for a month or two, she's nice, caring, but then out of nowhere just flips and is mean to me. And last night was really the tipping point. My friends and I were walking around her neighborhood. She was at a friends house passing out candy, but then went to some other guys house. I asked her to come along with us but she said no. Later they all decided to switch their minds and they wanted to come see us. Well, when I got to the group, I went up to her, poked her in the shoulder, smiled and said hey. She just turned to me, gives me the dirtiest look, and goes '...oh. hi...', just as if she hadn't ever known me. So I stood there for 2 or three minutes with her back to me, and afterwards went off flirting and laughing with the guy they were hanging out with. Later she said that she didn't do anything wrong, and that she was about to talk to me. Well, she had 3 minutes prior to that to talk to me and she didn't, so I felt really dumb.

 

/story.

 

I just felt like sharing. I feel relieved that it's over but I'm also really sad of course.

[RpgGamer]

Well.

 

I just broke up with my girlfriend of almost a year a little bit ago. She really, really, meant a lot to me, but this entire week she's just been mean and hateful. She does this all the time, too - for a month or two, she's nice, caring, but then out of nowhere just flips and is mean to me. And last night was really the tipping point. My friends and I were walking around her neighborhood. She was at a friends house passing out candy, but then went to some other guys house. I asked her to come along with us but she said no. Later they all decided to switch their minds and they wanted to come see us. Well, when I got to the group, I went up to her, poked her in the shoulder, smiled and said hey. She just turned to me, gives me the dirtiest look, and goes '...oh. hi...', just as if she hadn't ever known me. So I stood there for 2 or three minutes with her back to me, and afterwards went off flirting and laughing with the guy they were hanging out with. Later she said that she didn't do anything wrong, and that she was about to talk to me. Well, she had 3 minutes prior to that to talk to me and she didn't, so I felt really dumb.

 

/story.

 

I just felt like sharing. I feel relieved that it's over but I'm also really sad of course.

 

She sounded likea bit of a [bleep] anyway. You deserve better than that. And of course, this thread will be here in case you run into any trouble :)

[decebal]

OK, I'm not really the type that knows much about girls, but I'm guessing the reason you're confused about this is because she's ignoring you, right? Well, by the looks of it, I think she's got something for you, and she's too shy to admit it, that's why she's ignoring you IMO.

 

Just my two cents.

 

That would make a little sense, but why someone would pass up a good opportunity to talk to someone who is trying to express interest is beyond me. Reb's comment about girls having labyrinthine and nonsensical brains is sadly accurate. :(

 

 

Actually, funnily enough, you actually confirmed my suspicion when you said that she never dated before. I remember the first time when a girl that I liked first flirted with me, I used to be shy and I would just ignore her. it happens, and strangely enough, us guys also do it a lot.

 

So yeah, if that didn't make sense, she is shy because:

 

a) She likes you.

 

B) She doesn't know what to do seeing that it's her first time, so she ignores you.

 

How do I know?

 

a) Guys (like me) do that sometimes the first time around.

 

B) I've seen girls do it a lot. Not to me a lot though, because I am in fact the School Nerd :)

[Omar]

To be honest, all these PUA things really annoy me. I mean, I'm not some feminist who will rant about how men are objectifying women, and all that, but all this PUA stuff just seems really smug. The fact that all the articles or websites all use dozens of abbreviations just seems really... elitist or something.

It's just a faster way to write... And of course it's smug, they're able to get 90% of the women they want...

[rangeor]

To be honest, all these PUA things really annoy me. I mean, I'm not some feminist who will rant about how men are objectifying women, and all that, but all this PUA stuff just seems really smug. The fact that all the articles or websites all use dozens of abbreviations just seems really... elitist or something.

Attraction is all about elitism. In the wild the female doesn't choose the male that lost the battle, and in our society the girl doesn't choose the guy that is less appealing overall (aesthetics/intelligence/mentality). However most people don't see it as being perfect, just better than the next guy.

[Wisp]

To be honest, all these PUA things really annoy me. I mean, I'm not some feminist who will rant about how men are objectifying women, and all that, but all this PUA stuff just seems really smug. The fact that all the articles or websites all use dozens of abbreviations just seems really... elitist or something.

Attraction is all about elitism. In the wild the female doesn't choose the male that lost the battle, and in our society the girl doesn't choose the guy that is less appealing overall (aesthetics/intelligence/mentality). However most people don't see it as being perfect, just better than the next guy.

I'm not talking about attraction. I'm talking about the PUA websites and articles. Just read the example of the urban dictionary thing "I was throwing neg after neg at the 10 who was giving me crazy kino" or whatever.

[Lenticular_J]

That's how guys talk period, though. Pickup artists just make it sound almost professional, instead of "Dude I saw this hot chick at the bar" they say something like that.

[justcallmedaddy]

This isn't about a girl.

 

No one (boys or girls) ever invites me to do things with them anymore. Why? They used to.

[deathdrow]

This isn't about a girl.

 

No one (boys or girls) ever invites me to do things with them anymore. Why? They used to.

Why they don't anymore is something you can answer yourself. Try initiating things with them. Don't always expect them to have you come do things with them, do things and make them come.

[Lenticular_J]

This isn't about a girl.

 

No one (boys or girls) ever invites me to do things with them anymore. Why? They used to.

Force yourself into the group, and make it obvious that you're the coolest guy and source of all of their fun.

 

And then leave and begin this process with another group. Don't talk to anybody from the first group for a while.

 

Rinse and repeat. Soon you will have tons of friends. This is how people gain tons of friends after school. Having just one group of friends gets really lame even in high school. This ensures that you're a rare, luxurious commodity. People will want you to join them.

 

That's very basic procedure, but it works. It could work over a few days. Eating lunch or something can be a good way to initiate this.

[Wisp]

The girl I want (9-9.5 minimum) is single, and is has now just passed the three week limit :thumbup: I can talk to her easily and we have a lot in common, but what should I say to ask her out?

"Hey, I'm doing doing X this friday, you want to come?"

[TTanT]

The girl I want (9-9.5 minimum) is single, and is has now just passed the three week limit :thumbup: I can talk to her easily and we have a lot in common, but what should I say to ask her out?

 

 

"I've been watching you for a few months now, and I think I would like to become your signifcant other.

 

And if you find any cameras in your bathroom, they aren't mine."

 

 

Or

"So I herd u leik meh?"

 

 

 

In all seriousness, though. Just play it cool.

 

Try to think of a awesome place to hang out, and her to go there with you. Just don't get super nervous, or if you do egt nervous, don't show it.

[Alexpop11]

Ok, im thinking of asking a girl out, and i want opinons and tips

Im not to sure if she likes me or not. I'm either going double or nothing asking her out, so i want opinons.

And if im going to ask her out, were should we go? the movies are an option, but there arnt too many movies on she would want to see.

If you want specifics about her, be specific on which specifics. And the whole IOI thing dosent seem to work. Im on a tie between shes to shy to look at me for more than a minute and she dosent like me. I really wanna ask her, and im starting to think its going to be to late if i wait any longer.

[Amaranth_GTO]

Ok, im thinking of asking a girl out, and i want opinons and tips

Im not to sure if she likes me or not. I'm either going double or nothing asking her out, so i want opinons.

And if im going to ask her out, were should we go? the movies are an option, but there arnt too many movies on she would want to see.

If you want specifics about her, be specific on which specifics. And the whole IOI thing dosent seem to work. Im on a tie between shes to shy to look at me for more than a minute and she dosent like me. I really wanna ask her, and im starting to think its going to be to late if i wait any longer.

Well it would really help if we knew how much you talked to her, what she likes to do, and why you think she likes you, and what IOI's she's given you.

As for something to do, don't go on the stereotypical trip to the movies, then something to eat, then dropping her off at home. Do something interesting. Take her to an ice cream tasting convention, or an opera. If she likes skateboarding, do something related to that. If she's a gamer, take a trip to one of those gamercon things. Do something that would be interesting to her and to you.

[Alexpop11]

Ok, im thinking of asking a girl out, and i want opinons and tips

Im not to sure if she likes me or not. I'm either going double or nothing asking her out, so i want opinons.

And if im going to ask her out, were should we go? the movies are an option, but there arnt too many movies on she would want to see.

If you want specifics about her, be specific on which specifics. And the whole IOI thing dosent seem to work. Im on a tie between shes to shy to look at me for more than a minute and she dosent like me. I really wanna ask her, and im starting to think its going to be to late if i wait any longer.

Well it would really help if we knew how much you talked to her, what she likes to do, and why you think she likes you, and what IOI's she's given you.

As for something to do, don't go on the stereotypical trip to the movies, then something to eat, then dropping her off at home. Do something interesting. Take her to an ice cream tasting convention, or an opera. If she likes skateboarding, do something related to that. If she's a gamer, take a trip to one of those gamercon things. Do something that would be interesting to her and to you.

 

Hmmm....

I talk to her a bit. We're not good friends or anything, but we chat every day or so.

IOIs... well, when we talk, she'll hold eye contact for a couple seconds, then kind of shy away and look towards a wall, or something like that.

The she'll go back and hold for a sec.... you know what i mean.

Wow, Ice cream convention? Opera? We're in a small town up in canada. The biggest thing we have is the movies. Other from that, theres basically nothing. Thats why im asking, cause nothing is hard to use for a date.

[Amaranth_GTO]

Ok, im thinking of asking a girl out, and i want opinons and tips

Im not to sure if she likes me or not. I'm either going double or nothing asking her out, so i want opinons.

And if im going to ask her out, were should we go? the movies are an option, but there arnt too many movies on she would want to see.

If you want specifics about her, be specific on which specifics. And the whole IOI thing dosent seem to work. Im on a tie between shes to shy to look at me for more than a minute and she dosent like me. I really wanna ask her, and im starting to think its going to be to late if i wait any longer.

Well it would really help if we knew how much you talked to her, what she likes to do, and why you think she likes you, and what IOI's she's given you.

As for something to do, don't go on the stereotypical trip to the movies, then something to eat, then dropping her off at home. Do something interesting. Take her to an ice cream tasting convention, or an opera. If she likes skateboarding, do something related to that. If she's a gamer, take a trip to one of those gamercon things. Do something that would be interesting to her and to you.

 

Hmmm....

I talk to her a bit. We're not good friends or anything, but we chat every day or so.

IOIs... well, when we talk, she'll hold eye contact for a couple seconds, then kind of shy away and look towards a wall, or something like that.

The she'll go back and hold for a sec.... you know what i mean.

Wow, Ice cream convention? Opera? We're in a small town up in canada. The biggest thing we have is the movies. Other from that, theres basically nothing. Thats why im asking, cause nothing is hard to use for a date.

Oh. Well I'm not an expert on the IOI stuff like lent and dan, so I'll let someone else interpret that part. But for the date, there's always stuff to do. Look in your newspaper, there's sure to be something going on. If all else fails, you could go to the movies.

[Alexpop11]

I dunno.... do you think going to the park would be good? i could get icecream too.....

ICE CREAM man. everyone loves ICECREAM

[RpgGamer]

This isn't about a girl.

 

No one (boys or girls) ever invites me to do things with them anymore. Why? They used to.

Force yourself into the group, and make it obvious that you're the coolest guy and source of all of their fun.

 

I actually find that tactic very irritating to be on the recieving end of. The more someone wants to be in my group, the less likely I am to let them in. Unless of course I truly feel like they belong there. Forcing yourself isn't really the best method. I' dsay just focus on a few of the members of said group, get close tothem and the rest of the group should follow. That's why you befriend the "leader" of said group. Every group has one, it's pretty easy to tell who it is most of the time. Gte close to that person, and eventually the group will accept you. There is a limitted amount of forcing involved yes, but minimalize the tactic.

 

And Alexpop just blew open the whole "first date debate" topic again. For the love of god, I still beleive movies make good first dates, and I know that I am one of the only people on this thread that believes that. Then we have IamDan suggeting ice skating. And walks in the park frequently come up. I'm actually kind of tired of this discussion, simply because we keep saying the same friggin' things.

[Lenticular_J]

The girl I want (9-9.5 minimum) is single, and is has now just passed the three week limit :thumbup: I can talk to her easily and we have a lot in common, but what should I say to ask her out?

Way I tried last week that seems fun (plus it makes the girl feel good while still wondering if it's a real compliment):

 

Be laughing with her, and then: "You know, you're pretty cool. We should hang out sometime. I gotta jet, though. Catch you later." And leave.

 

If you think you'll see her later, do that. It'll definitely throw her off. Then, see her later (right before school's over preferably) and physically catch her. It's a joke everyone loves! Or just say "Hey, I told you I'd catch you. Anyways, don't wanna be like every other guy, but we definitely need to do something tonight."

 

If she's a 9-9.5, this is not only a neg, but it will throw her off and make her think, "Wow, he really isn't like other guys. He asked me out but didn't even get my number!" at the beginning. This gives her time to stew over it. Then, boom, you hit her at the end of the day. It can be the next day that you say you're going out, or really whenever. In fact, that day can be risky. This was a Tuesday, though, and our rehearsals were short, so I gave it a shot.

 

It's an interesting time of the week, and you can do something interesting during that time. I've only tried this once, but the girl was an 8.5-9, so I wouldn't be surprised if it works.

 

Make it sound cooler than I did, though. If you wear a leather jacket and smoke while you do it, it'll only help.

[Wisp]

I suggest going somewhere where there's stuff to do, but you can still talk to her. Life if you go the park with no plans on what to actually do it'll probably just end up being awkward.

 

Even though it's not something that can always happen, I would recommend something like a fair. There's a lot of stuff to do, and it's not like a movie where you can't talk.

[Lenticular_J]

Fair is very good.

 

Not one of those gross ones, though. Don't you live in Philadelphia Rocco? There's gotta be tons of stuff to do there. It is always sunny there, after all.