"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

Great. The girl that I've liked for over 3 years is now going out with one of my best friends. Ugh.

 

 

You liked a girl for 3 years and then never did anything about it? You never told your friend that you liked her? You never made your friend understand you were interested in her?

 

On a positive note, I think you learned your lesson. Better luck next girl I suppose.

 

 

as for myself, I hate life. I no longer want to be a part of it. That sounds too dramatic...I'm a mix of pissed off and devestated.

 

Women amirite?

[deathdrow]

Great. The girl that I've liked for over 3 years is now going out with one of my best friends. Ugh.

 

 

You liked a girl for 3 years and then never did anything about it? You never told your friend that you liked her? You never made your friend understand you were interested in her?

 

On a positive note, I think you learned your lesson. Better luck next girl I suppose.

 

 

as for myself, I hate life. I no longer want to be a part of it. That sounds too dramatic...I'm a mix of pissed off and devestated.

 

Women amirite?

Women make no sense at all. you are right. [bleep]ing women. god damn.

 

On a positive note, I've gotten all like, flirty with chicks lately, and I've gotten flirted at back, and that's just like, a [bleep]ing injection of confidence, makes me feel awesome.

[Jes]

Alright, I need advice.

Basically, I'm going out with a girl I've known since 1st grade. I'm in 11th now, so it's been a while since I first met her obviously. We went to school together from 1st to 5th, then from 8th-11th. I started going out with her a few months ago, and things were going well, but she's been really depressed about her parents being general [bleep]es, one of her friends dying in a car accident, and other stuff.

Long story short, yesterday she said she wanted to stop going out. I asked why, (this was over the phone) and the basic reasons were that:

She thought that she was making me depressed and all because she tells me all of her problems with life, and compared to me she has a pretty tough life.

She wasn't sure if it all could work out with us with all the [cabbage] that's been happening in her life.

Then on top of this, she felt like she wasn't good enough for me or something like that. She said she couldn't figure out why I liked her compared to all the other girls, and she just felt like she didn't deserve me.

The phone call ended with me having to get off the phone before we could talk about much more stuff. I really didn't want to go, but I didn't have a choice.

I'm pretty much 100% sure she's not lying about her reasons, so it's not just her saying "it's not you, it's me" to end the relationship.

 

She says she still likes me, and I still like her, but anyways, what should I do?

Well that's how I feel with my boyfriend. I've never felt like I deserve him, but with that being said it's one of my biggest fears in the world to lose him. I think if she really likes you, than she is telling you the truth. Maybe she does just need some space and when the time is right you guys might be able to get back together. But either way, I think she does owe you a better explanation. If you still feel like you have a lot of unanswered questions, then you should ask her about them.

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

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[Jes]

Great. The girl that I've liked for over 3 years is now going out with one of my best friends. Ugh.

 

 

You liked a girl for 3 years and then never did anything about it? You never told your friend that you liked her? You never made your friend understand you were interested in her?

 

On a positive note, I think you learned your lesson. Better luck next girl I suppose.

 

 

Oh, he knew, he asked me about a week ago. And yes, I never did anything about it. I was going to, actually. There was a dance on a few weeks ago, I was planning on asking her to dance then, and ask her out later on. I walk around, find her, and shes dancing with him. The next 3 minutes were probally the longest three minutes of my life.

 

Oh. And the first, second and a half year I think I was too young to really do anything (I was 10 when I started liking her, 13 now) until recently. I had been planning that for about a month, too.

 

Oh, and heres a bonus. Almost every girl my age in my school has a crush on him, so even if I do move on, I'm still not better off. Hurray.

 

*Slams face into keyboard*

You're thirteen? Don't worry about it. I didn't even get my first relationship until I had just turned sixteen, I'm seventeen now and I'm still in it. The longer you wait the better because your more mature and have a better idea of what you want in life. And even if all the girls like him only one girl will date him at a time right? Just find a new girl and if she truly does like you she won't care about him.

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

--

[Jes]

Even though I'm young, I really, really like this girl...It's sort of hard to explain, but shes one of the few girls who isn't a total [bleep] to me on a daily basis. The other few I just don't consider datable.

 

Ugh, hopefully that isn't half as lame as I think it sounded.

Trust me it didn't. And if you think you like her that much, than maybe if things don't work out with the other guy you could try...I don't know. What she did was pretty screwed up. You would think after 3 years she would know. But I'm guessing your only in middle school? Once you make it to high school you probably won't even remember her. I don't remember any of the guys I liked in middle school, and I really did think I would. I felt the same way as you. And I bet all the other older people here did too. Just try to get to know other girls, you never know who you could end up liking.

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

---

[Jes]

Thanks. For now, I'll probally just take a few days to think about it. But I don't really blame her for going out with him, why shouldn't she? And she definatly knew.

 

Thanks again for your help.

If she's what you really want then go for it. If you love her, that's an emotion that can't be controlled. If he's an [wagon] then maybe it won't last too long which is what it sounds like, especially if he knew you liked her. Looks will never outlast personality, unless she's an idiot. But ultimately the decision is yours, so definitely take time to think about it. Good luck.

[decebal]

Alright, I need advice.

Basically, I'm going out with a girl I've known since 1st grade. I'm in 11th now, so it's been a while since I first met her obviously. We went to school together from 1st to 5th, then from 8th-11th. I started going out with her a few months ago, and things were going well, but she's been really depressed about her parents being general [bleep]es, one of her friends dying in a car accident, and other stuff.

Long story short, yesterday she said she wanted to stop going out. I asked why, (this was over the phone) and the basic reasons were that:

She thought that she was making me depressed and all because she tells me all of her problems with life, and compared to me she has a pretty tough life.

She wasn't sure if it all could work out with us with all the [cabbage] that's been happening in her life.

Then on top of this, she felt like she wasn't good enough for me or something like that. She said she couldn't figure out why I liked her compared to all the other girls, and she just felt like she didn't deserve me.

The phone call ended with me having to get off the phone before we could talk about much more stuff. I really didn't want to go, but I didn't have a choice.

I'm pretty much 100% sure she's not lying about her reasons, so it's not just her saying "it's not you, it's me" to end the relationship.

 

She says she still likes me, and I still like her, but anyways, what should I do?

Epic first post.

 

But, uh, just try to keep talking to her.

Yeah, I had been browsing the forums for a while and then this came up so I figured I may as well ask for some advice, so I registered and all that.

 

She's been going through a lot obviously, so I'm doing what I can. I guess I'm here partly just to rant myself.

Well okay, she sounds like she needs more comforting, Stand by her, and try to make her happier. Leaving her now and she will be left with no love in her life, she'd be doing a mistake if she would dump you.

 

And holy [cabbage], Kirby's only 13, I swear I've seen you here back before I had a forum account, didn't you make like a second account here too and got in some trouble with the mods (off-topic, I know.)

 

But anyways, whoever said that you probably wouldn't remember a girl you liked in middle school/ elementary school is wrong imo. I've been liking this girl since the 5th grade, and I still like her now, 4 and a half years later. I did start flirting with other girls, but I always have her in the back of my mind and it's killing me!

 

Btw, this is the best thread ever. It has it's own community :)

[RpgGamer]

Even though I'm young, I really, really like this girl...It's sort of hard to explain, but shes one of the few girls who isn't a total [bleep] to me on a daily basis. The other few I just don't consider datable.

 

Ugh, hopefully that isn't half as lame as I think it sounded.

Trust me it didn't. And if you think you like her that much, than maybe if things don't work out with the other guy you could try...I don't know. What she did was pretty screwed up. You would think after 3 years she would know. But I'm guessing your only in middle school? Once you make it to high school you probably won't even remember her. I don't remember any of the guys I liked in middle school, and I really did think I would. I felt the same way as you. And I bet all the other older people here did too. Just try to get to know other girls, you never know who you could end up liking.

 

This is true. Your thirteen, you've barely even experienced life yet. This is one girl that you'll very likely forget about in a few years tops. There's gonna be plenty of others. Trust me.

 

I can remember 2 crushes I had prior to highschool. I know I had more, but I remember 2. And that's just because I made a big deal out of it for such a long time. But I've long since gotten over it (took maybe a week if that) after she started dating one of my friends. I sat with her at lunch everyday last year, and it was like nothing ever happened. At 13, very little matters in the field of relationships. Don't take them too seriously at such a young age.

[Lenticular_J]

I got two girl's phone numbers tonight.

 

But I also have plans to see a girl I actually like tomorrow. It was neat. It just fell together. And it felt different from, you know, "gaming" girls. It was more real, I guess. I feel good now. Who knows, this might turn into a real relationship yo!

[RpgGamer]

I got two girl's phone numbers tonight.

 

But I also have plans to see a girl I actually like tomorrow. It was neat. It just fell together. And it felt different from, you know, "gaming" girls. It was more real, I guess. I feel good now. Who knows, this might turn into a real relationship yo!

 

 

I wish this was Facebook so I could "Like" that post.

 

I suppose this will suffice: :thumbup:

 

Good to see that you didn't have to "game" a girl to ask her out. Or meet up. Or however that worked out. I'm proud of you :)

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

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[RpgGamer]

Basically, whatever happens here happens, I suppose... I doubt he'll be mad if I ask her out if they break up, and even if he is, I'll be honest, even though we're close, he's not a great friend, so he can deal with it.

 

 

That's not a good attitude. When you get older you'll appreciate this more, but don't screw over your close buddies. 'Good' friend or not, your gonna start realizing how few close friends life hands you. Whoever this chick is, I doubt it's worth the friendship of a close buddy. At the very least, when they break up ask him if it's okay if you ask her out.

 

Trust me, this will save you a lot of BS in the future.

[deathdrow]

I'm seeing my ex tomorrow, not sure how that's gonna go. I'm kinda nervice, I miss her a [bleep] of a lot. but yeah. I think it'll be fine. she maded me a cake for my birthday party I'm having tomorrow.

I'm totally like, learning how to flirt with people now. It's pretty awesome.

[Guest Mrmegakirby]

-

[aquariusman]

Alright, I need advice.

Basically, I'm going out with a girl I've known since 1st grade. I'm in 11th now, so it's been a while since I first met her obviously. We went to school together from 1st to 5th, then from 8th-11th. I started going out with her a few months ago, and things were going well, but she's been really depressed about her parents being general [bleep]es, one of her friends dying in a car accident, and other stuff.

Long story short, yesterday she said she wanted to stop going out. I asked why, (this was over the phone) and the basic reasons were that:

She thought that she was making me depressed and all because she tells me all of her problems with life, and compared to me she has a pretty tough life.

She wasn't sure if it all could work out with us with all the [cabbage] that's been happening in her life.

Then on top of this, she felt like she wasn't good enough for me or something like that. She said she couldn't figure out why I liked her compared to all the other girls, and she just felt like she didn't deserve me.

The phone call ended with me having to get off the phone before we could talk about much more stuff. I really didn't want to go, but I didn't have a choice.

I'm pretty much 100% sure she's not lying about her reasons, so it's not just her saying "it's not you, it's me" to end the relationship.

 

She says she still likes me, and I still like her, but anyways, what should I do?

Make her realize that she makes you happy. Never stop trying to make her happy, and just keep with it. Tell her that you chose her over all the other girls because she makes you happy. But, only do this if you want to, and doing so will mean that you're telling the truth.

 

I pretty much just had to do this a few weeks ago, except that the problem wasn't some incident that happened in her life, it was the fact that she has literally no time for me. She pretty much told me that I could go find another girl, because she could see that there are other girls that want me. I told her there is no way I'm doing that, just because other girls want me, doesn't mean I want them.

 

Really, you just have to make her realize that this is something you want, and that you plan on being there for her.

[Lenticular_J]

Huh, that girl never showed up, and I messed up her phone number in my phone and deleted the last two numbers. Going with the FTOG method, I met a couple Tech girls and hung out with them for a couple hours. They were really cool, but I didn't get their numbers because I just didn't want to. One of them looked like Taylor Swift (her hair was red, though). It was funny.

 

It was probably the best gaming I've ever done, I gotta say. And this was at a comic book convention I'd been working at, you guys. That takes skill. Very proud of myself.

 

I'm gonna have to find out what was up with that one girl at school. Pisses me off she didn't show up, but I did tell her pretty offhandedly...

[Latinoking]

No advice? LOL, Lost Cause?

[Atepha]

Alright, I need advice.

Basically, I'm going out with a girl I've known since 1st grade. I'm in 11th now, so it's been a while since I first met her obviously. We went to school together from 1st to 5th, then from 8th-11th. I started going out with her a few months ago, and things were going well, but she's been really depressed about her parents being general [bleep]es, one of her friends dying in a car accident, and other stuff.

Long story short, yesterday she said she wanted to stop going out. I asked why, (this was over the phone) and the basic reasons were that:

She thought that she was making me depressed and all because she tells me all of her problems with life, and compared to me she has a pretty tough life.

She wasn't sure if it all could work out with us with all the [cabbage] that's been happening in her life.

Then on top of this, she felt like she wasn't good enough for me or something like that. She said she couldn't figure out why I liked her compared to all the other girls, and she just felt like she didn't deserve me.

The phone call ended with me having to get off the phone before we could talk about much more stuff. I really didn't want to go, but I didn't have a choice.

I'm pretty much 100% sure she's not lying about her reasons, so it's not just her saying "it's not you, it's me" to end the relationship.

 

She says she still likes me, and I still like her, but anyways, what should I do?

Make her realize that she makes you happy. Never stop trying to make her happy, and just keep with it. Tell her that you chose her over all the other girls because she makes you happy. But, only do this if you want to, and doing so will mean that you're telling the truth.

 

I pretty much just had to do this a few weeks ago, except that the problem wasn't some incident that happened in her life, it was the fact that she has literally no time for me. She pretty much told me that I could go find another girl, because she could see that there are other girls that want me. I told her there is no way I'm doing that, just because other girls want me, doesn't mean I want them.

 

Really, you just have to make her realize that this is something you want, and that you plan on being there for her.

 

I think it's all worked out, your advice was pretty helpful. We're gonna keep going out, and we both agreed to change certain things. It should be ok now, so I'm happy.

[RpgGamer]

I guess it won't hurt to try to get advise from a different audience.

 

I really have a problem in where I can never truly get a college girl to actually sit down and have a cup of coffee with me.

 

First, there's the whole time issue. Sometimes, they never have the time to actually at the very least have some small talk with me. Then when they potential do have time, they stress about how they they have to do homework and other stuff they have to do.

 

Since the whole "you can never get that crush you have in class in college" theory has been right so far (I will say I had some "success" but w/e). I thought I would try with a girl who's in a same student org. as me. It has worked so far as getting to know somewhat more about each other, but same issues keep occurring. We might say hi while we're heading to our classes, but never really time to actually sit down and chat about stuff (maybe like only twice.) Other times she busy with her job/hw or our schedule conflict too much where we can talk during school.

 

One of my friend suggested to simply use Facebook, but really now? Maybe to actually set up a date, I guess.

 

I fear that she might feel I'm not making a good enough effort though (when I feel I am.) If her friend is leaving this on her wall.

 

thats ok (her name). yeah guy stuff .. blah ..haha oh well, you know. you live and learn.

 

I really want to date this girl. She seems amazing and her love of soccer matches mine.

 

Sorry for ignoring this. Somehow it slipped under the radar ^^;

 

I'm not sure what kind of advice you're really looking for though. Are you asking if your putting enough effort in? Are you asking how much is too much effort?

 

We're gonna need details to judge things like that. We're not in your shoes, we can't see your life. Obviously you're interested in her. If you don't feel like your putting enough effort in...than put more effort in. Don't stop til you're satisfied...or until you start thinking that you're coming off as creepy.

[BlindBaker]

Bah. I guess it's about time I post here. This isn't as long as it looks, trust me.

 

So, since I can't think of a less-overused opening to this, there's this girl. I've liked her for a looooong time, and I've been friends-ish with her for about a year, but I didn't start flirting until somewhat recently, so I'm new to this whole pickup thing (I've only just started working on my confidence this year >_<). I feel like I could be going out with her already, if I wasn't such a [developmentally delayed] in seventh grade. She confronted me, told me she knew I liked her, so I thought, [bleep] it, and spilled out EVERYTHING to her. I told her how I basically stalked her all that year and memorized her schedule, and yes, I even used the L-word. Then, eight grade, I got to watch this guy hit on her all year, but I was too much of a [kitty] to do anything. Then, this year, I got some help from a friend (yes, you know who you are) and started flirting.

 

So this year, my first thought was, [bleep] this, I don't want to chase this girl all through highschool, and tried to get over her. That lasted about a month, then I realized I can like her, and still have fun. That's where I'm currently at. Sure, I've been talking to other girls, and flirting a little, but this one's the only one that actually means anything. Anyway, remember that guy I mentioned earlier? The one that keeps hitting on her? Guess what's still going on this year? Yeah. Well, here comes the asking for advice.

 

Anyone here use Facebook and familiar with Social Interview? It's a Facebook app that asks questions about your friends. Your answers go up on their wall. Here's some that have me really confused:

 

Question: What would [girl's name] say if you hugged her right now?

[Name of guy who hits on her] answered, "idk, what would she say?:)"

The girl comments: "funnyyy" <- ?

 

Question: How would you feel if your parents decided to adopt [girl's name]?

[Guy's name] answered, "haha"

The girl comments: "gawdd.. this is creepin me outt.. [GUY'S NAME] u kno there's a SKIP button.." ( \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ )

 

Question (to the girl): What is [my name]'s best feature?

[Girl's name] answered, "his sombrero:)" (I peacocked a little by wearing a sombrero to school. Before I even knew what peacocking was. Fun day.)

 

Now this seems all good, right? Yeah, when I saw these, I was pretty happy. Then I scrolled down.

 

Question (to the girl): What would [guy's name] say if you kissed him right now?

Her answer: "damn:)"

 

Question (to the girl): What are [guy's name]'s best features?

Her answer: "there's toooo manyy:);)" ( :wall: )

 

Then I was kinda pissed, until I saw all that guy's other attempts at flirting through Social Interview were completely ignored. Now I'm extremely confused.

 

But anyway, somewhere in the middle of that, I was talking to her on Facebook chat. After teasing her a little about being crazy (don't ask), I said something like "Haha, we have to hang out sometime." She says something like "that would be disastrous:)" and I said "Exactly." She laughed, and then I said "Seriously, though, we should. But I have to go now, see you Monday." And left.

 

Hmm. I'm starting to think this was a little bit too detailed, but I don't want to leave anything out, because it's kind of important. I want your opinion on, what the hell do you think is going on between me, her, and that guy, and what should I do next?

[Iamdan]

But anyway, somewhere in the middle of that, I was talking to her on Facebook chat. After teasing her a little about being crazy (don't ask), I said something like "Haha, we have to hang out sometime." She says something like "that would be disastrous:)" and I said "Exactly." She laughed, and then I said "Seriously, though, we should. But I have to go now, see you Monday." And left

 

You did good here, chances are she would have said yes if you didn't screw up so badly here:

 

I thought, [bleep] it, and spilled out EVERYTHING to her. I told her how I basically stalked her all that year and memorized her schedule, and yes, I even used the L-word. Then, eight grade, I got to watch this guy hit on her all year, but I was too much of a [kitty] to do anything.

 

9 times out of 10, doing that will completely mess up your chances - but you're in school so it's probably still ok.

 

When you do that, you're telling her that she has the higher value and you're chasing her. She doesn't want a guy with a lower value then her own, it would just decrease hers.

 

Just try and plough through attraction switches, (if you don't know how to DHV read through the thread) after a month or so tell her you're over her but that she's cool and that she should tag along when you do x for a fun time. Don't even worry about this other guy, he's not competition.

 

OT: WOW. I'm not going to go into the details but the jealousy card works wonders - even when it gets played by accident :???:

[BlindBaker]

Yeah, I know, I'm really pissed at my seventh-grade self. I don't know about telling her I'm over her, though. I'm alright with the lying part, I just really don't want to bring all that up again.