"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Lenticular_J]

Only a few years until I'll be in Austin, which is a much better, much more exceptional place for folk like me.

 

Although I'll be taking a year off after high school and likely going on a road trip through the US (would probably be cheaper and longer than backpacking through Europe, but we'll see), so if you guys ever go to a major place, we'll meet up or something. I need Bros that know where to Gos.

[RpgGamer]

I'd be happy to tour New York/Jersey Shore/Philidelphia with you :P

[Amaranth_GTO]

I've been to Austin before. GREAT city. I want to go there for college. Or Harvard...

[Lenticular_J]

[bleep] Harvard. Go UT.

 

Oh, and you guys should learn how to escalate attraction through text messages alone. It's a skill I feel I'm very accomplished in. Now somebody have a problem. Now!

[RpgGamer]

it's been pleasingly peacful on this thread problem wise. Perhaps Valentines Day has quenched the thirst of women? For now anyway. Alright, as long as we're not slving problems, lets prevent new ones from starting. Discuss text atraction with me. I understand the proper functions of the smile " :) " and " ;) " but other than that, its hard to take text flirting seriously. I'm not big on texting as it is. And des it work on all age groups or just the text fiend whoresof the 16-19 area?

[deathdrow]

Text flirting is like IM flirting, but god damn what's the word, it's like, concise IM flirting. It's relatively easy to do, If you know how to IM flirt.

I absolutely despise valentine's day. I've had such a crappy weekend. I really hate how my ex is being. But I still love her, even though she's done a ton of [cabbage] that should make me want to lose her, yet I always come back to her, or attempt to. I really need to get over her. but damn. It's [bleep]ing hard. and the one time I managed to be alright, and get over her, she [bleep]ing came and [bleep]ed that up by telling me she wanted me back. and a bunch of other [cabbage] happened involving me cheating on my new girlfriend, and her staying at my house for four days, while still dating that chick, and all the while basically being in a relationship with my ex. I put up with so much [cabbage] from her, it's retarted.

[Lenticular_J]

It's very easy, rpg. And applies to all age groups. Merely the powers of suggestion, as all flirting revolves around.

[RpgGamer]

\ I really hate how my ex is being. But I still love her, even though she's done a ton of [cabbage] that should make me want to lose her, yet I always come back to her, or attempt to. I really need to get over her. but damn. It's [bleep]ing hard. and the one time I managed to be alright, and get over her, she [bleep]ing came and [bleep]ed that up by telling me she wanted me back. and a bunch of other [cabbage] happened involving me cheating on my new girlfriend, and her staying at my house for four days, while still dating that chick, and all the while basically being in a relationship with my ex. I put up with so much [cabbage] from her, it's retarted.

 

DUDE SAME

:highfive: to the extreme!

 

Except I ended up breaking up with my newest girlfriend and enjoyed the "nostalgia"

Don't get too upset over it. You're not alone. I'm enjoying it while I know I can :P

 

as for the whole IM flirting...I've never IMed before. until like a few months ago when Facebook implimented it. Now i'm sorta into it. I'm still more of a face to face guy though. Does this lack of connection put me at any kind of disadvantage?

[Faux]

[bleep] Harvard. Go UT.

 

Oh, and you guys should learn how to escalate attraction through text messages alone. It's a skill I feel I'm very accomplished in. Now somebody have a problem. Now!

kinda nice of you to want people to have problems

[Furah]

it's been pleasingly peacful on this thread problem wise. Perhaps Valentines Day has quenched the thirst of women? For now anyway. Alright, as long as we're not slving problems, lets prevent new ones from starting. Discuss text atraction with me. I understand the proper functions of the smile " :) " and " ;) " but other than that, its hard to take text flirting seriously. I'm not big on texting as it is. And des it work on all age groups or just the text fiend whoresof the 16-19 area?

As Lent says, it's all about suggestion. I have a friend and we jokingly flirt all the time, which means I can improve my skills safely. She'll say things like "Come watch this movie with me." To which I'll reply something like "Only if I can stay afterwards." Sometimes I'll add in something to feign disinterest such as, Her: "It's really cold." Me: "Sorry, this jumper is only made for one." or Her: "I'm gonna be alone tonight" Me: "I'd <something fun to do> with you but I gotta babysit my movie collection." Lowers their ego enough to make them feel that I am the prize, not them. Yet doesn't cause disinterest.

 

I find I am rather good at IM/text flirting.

[RpgGamer]

Yeah I dunno why, but I'm just not that good at non-personal flirting. I got a buddy who's been in like 4 major online relationships, so he's like THE SH!T at text flirting, but he can't handle himself in person at all. I'd do well to wing with him. Perhaps I shall...

[Skill_Caster]

it's been pleasingly peacful on this thread problem wise. Perhaps Valentines Day has quenched the thirst of women? For now anyway. Alright, as long as we're not slving problems, lets prevent new ones from starting. Discuss text atraction with me. I understand the proper functions of the smile " :) " and " ;) " but other than that, its hard to take text flirting seriously. I'm not big on texting as it is. And des it work on all age groups or just the text fiend whoresof the 16-19 area?

 

I'll share my two cents. '=P' is also a powerful too. With texting, there really is no face-to-face intimacy at all, and while this is a bad thing, it also is a good thing. Take this example. If I sent:

 

"Hey, I'm Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me?"

 

It could work, but then it's just a cheesy one-liner, and without the taken for granted gift of a reaction, you won't be able to know (unless she texts back something giving off the idea she is uncomfortable (i.e. "uhh....ok").

 

Now, let's look at that same text again. I'ma add a '=P' to it.

 

"Hey, I'm Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me? =P"

 

Now, a cheesy one-liner has been turned into a flirty joke, which she'll probably find more attractive than pathetic. I wouldn't exactly recommend using this exact example, because I couldn't really think of anything else off the top of my head. But you get the point. While the whole in-person and audible dimensions are removed from a text conversation making it impersonal, there are a whole other set of tools just lying for you to discover and pick up.

[champion]

"Hey, I'm Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me? =P"

 

Now, a cheesy one-liner has been turned into a flirty joke, which she'll probably find more attractive than pathetic.

I don't know about that...

[rangeor]

I've personally always found emoticons that use = instead of : extremely creepy. :P is funny, =P scares the hell out of me. Though then again you might be texting someone that's the other way around. So be careful when using emoticons, and when in doubt you can always go with a neutral o.o. They look creepy too, but in a funny cartoon kind of way.

[Iamdan]

Flirting is just about hitting attraction switches. (Though most guys seem to get the idea that making suggestive comments does anything but hurt your game) Txt flirting is much easier because it gives you a chance to think about your response.

 

Just a couple rules:

 

Be doing something more fun than she is.

Mix up your replies from 1 minute later to a few hours later.

Be unpredictable.

Don't let the sexual tension slacken with boring stuff like "hey how are you?"

 

I don't know how many times I'll have to bring it up before it catches on, but role playing is so damn good it's like a cheat code.

 

Seriously. The next time she does something questionable like not listen to dan's favourite bands, tell her you want a divorce because you're sick of her [cabbage]. Argue over custardy of the dog, get with her sister but call her crying in the middle of the night because you miss her pancakes.

[RpgGamer]

Argue over custardy of the dog

 

Custardy of the dog. Got it :D

 

I jest. I'm not completely incapable of flirting, in fact I'm a huge fan of the suggestive phrasing game. Role playing is good. I'm not always comfortable using it, but with the right people it works wonders.

[Wongtong]

I have a problem but SOMEONE might criticise me.

[RpgGamer]

I have a problem but SOMEONE might criticise me.

 

now, now WongTong. This is a help and advice thread. We're here to help, not to judge or ridicule. Well...there might be a miniscule amount of ridiculing, but seeing as that you're a woman, you'll get less of it. "Gftog" just wouldn't fit. What seems to be the problem?

[Skull]

I have a problem but SOMEONE might criticise me.

 

now, now WongTong. This is a help and advice thread. We're here to help, not to judge or ridicule. Well...there might be a miniscule amount of ridiculing, but seeing as that you're a woman, you'll get less of it. "Gftog" just wouldn't fit. What seems to be the problem?

The 'g' could stand for guys. Still totally applicable in that case.

[Lenticular_J]

I volunteer.

 

Not ten guys simultaneously, right... ?

[Wongtong]

Okay so previously mentioned guy has become infatuated with me. He told me he fears rejection and then says OH I LIKE YOU BTWZ.

 

The next night.. some harsh words were exchanged, misunderstandings occurred and I ended up telling him that I friend zoned him, because he implied that he was no longer interested (which annoyed me).

 

Now he keeps telling me that he hates me and that I "DESTROYED" him / I "ruptured his heart" and that he hates me. Oh, and that I'm a [bleep]. Now before you criticise me for telling him that I friend zoned him, I apologised and told him I didn't mean it and explained why I said it.

 

SO, my question is: Does he really hate me? Can I still scrape a friendship (or more) out of this? What should I do? I was thinking of meeting up face to face with him, because people seem to be unable to hate me if they see my little squishy face.

 

And psh, I could take 10 guys on simultaneously.

[RpgGamer]

He's hurt. Rejection hurts. It's his job to get used to it. That's not your problem. And as his friend, you have to remove yourself from the situation and let him grow up a bit. You're free to be his friend if you want to, but give him a while to get over you. No he doesn't hate you, but continually being nice to him is only going to get his hopes up. Ignore him for a bit, and get someone else to monitor his progress. When he seems over it, you can start talking to him again.

 

I volunteer to be that 2nd guy...we only need 8 more :D

[Skull]

He sounds like he's... a bit of a [kitty] or he's trying to make you feel bad for some sort of personal gain. I'd personally say you should call him out on it if he keeps up that attitude after you explain what happened. I'm anything but a "guru" though.

[Wongtong]

Eh, what if I decide to give him a chance? i.e let him be more than friends?

Should I just give him some time to recover?

 

This situation makes me hate boys a little bit more. My meter is slowly heading towards the lesbian side.

[RpgGamer]

He sounds like he's... a bit of a [kitty] or he's trying to make you feel bad for some sort of personal gain. I'd personally say you should call him out on it if he keeps up that attitude after you explain what happened. I'm anything but a "guru" though.

 

 

Yes well, in his defense calling him out on it isn't going to help how he feels. and kitty or not, I bet money that 99% of the posters on TIF and ATLEAST half the posters on thids thread have had a similiar reaction over being rejected. Have some sympathy, mate.

 

[/2cents]

 

 

EDIT

 

IMPORTANT:

For all the ladies out there...If you're not willing to be in a relationship - don't be. Being in a relationship you don't really want to be in causes more issues than you can ever imagine. Especially when you end up hurting him after telling him the foundation of said relationship was of guilt and pity. Not proper foundation at all. If you like him as more tahn a friend, then by all means date him. But if you don't, spare yourself the headache, and spare him his mental stability and just let him be.