No. There is such a thing as a relationship without sex/sexual tension.

 

Think of it the other way. There is such a thing as sex/sexual tension without a relationship. There called [bleep]-buddies. Why can't there be a relationship without sex/sexual tension?

 

Also, what about asexual people? Sexual tension does not exist for them, yet they still feel attraction and a need for a romantic relationship.

 

To define one with the other is just silly, and to make out like the whole world defines "relationship" on that basis is as well.

No. There is such a thing as a relationship without sex/sexual tension.

 

Why can't there be a relationship without sex/sexual tension?

There can be, it's called a friendship.

 

Your version of 'relationship without a sexual tension" is a friendship where you are somewhat attracted to each other. By your logic, the attraction defines the relationship which doesn't make sense at all. You can't just call it a relationship and expect the rest of the world to go along with your new definition.

 

Also, what about asexual people? Sexual tension does not exist for them, yet they still feel attraction and a need for a romantic relationship.

 

How do you know what they feel? They are a tiny percentage of the population, you really can't be sure of anything.

It's not a new definition, it's just not your definition.

 

And one of my very good friends happens to be asexual, so I hear plenty about the subject from her.

 

Also, though I don't necessarily believe in this definition, I don't see why attraction defining the relationship doesn't make sense.

How old is this friend?

 

And it doesn't make sense because then you can't have friends who are attracted but aren't in a relationship. It's not my definition, it's everyone-i-know's definition. It's the dictionary's definition.

Now I'm confused about your definition. Until that clears up, I can't argue with you. Are you saying sexual tension is a pre-req for a relationship, and that it defines what is and isn't a relationship?

 

And she's 19 (sophomore in college), but she also does her research and connects with other people who identify as asexual and tells me about the experiences she reads.

 

Also, it should be irrelevant how old she is unless you're thinking she's like 14 or something. You wouldn't doubt someone as easily if they identified as homosexual.

 

EDIT: Oh yeah, I suddenly remembered what I was going to write. I think it might be best to think of "relationship" as a combination of emotional and physical intimacy. I might draw a pretty graph later, but I don't have time, so I'll do my best to explain without it. Think of a line. On one side of the line is friendship, and the other is romantic relationship. Upping physical intimacy brings you closer to that line, as does upping emotional intimacy. Up them both enough and you enter the realm of romantic relationship. Of course, since upping only one also brings you closer to the line, if you up it enough you'll enter the relationship realm without the assistance of the other factor. Our differences come in that I am viewing more of the higher emotional intimacy end of the spectrum, while you seem to be viewing more of the physical intimacy spectrum.

Okay, everyone is in a relationship with everyone by Flyingjj's standards. and that makes perfect sense. Because we are all in fact in some form of relationship with eachother. But for it to be a proper "romantic" or "dating" relationship, there needs to be sexual tension. otherwise it's just friendship. It's still a 'ship, just one of a different color. And less chrome.

 

[bleep] buddies are in a relationship. Just not one of the same kind as a friendship...or a "dating" relationship. But that ship is ALL chrome

 

Just as an extra throw in - I don't believe "asexual" people exist. They just haven't figured out what turns 'em on yet.

edit:

 

you guys are complicating this more than it really is. some people live in a different society and are raised differently. i know a lot of girls who are completely normal but are still virgins. just because they're willing to wait doesn't make them abnormal

Wait, your friend is asexual, but you called her a her? Wut?

 

Anyway, the basis of any sort of attraction is just a low-level sexual desire...

An asexual human means that they have no interest in or desire for sex. They may however still have sex. According to one study, 1% of the population is asexual.

Okay, everyone is in a relationship with everyone by Flyingjj's standards. and that makes perfect sense. Because we are all in fact in some form of relationship with eachother. But for it to be a proper "romantic" or "dating" relationship, there needs to be sexual tension. otherwise it's just friendship. It's still a 'ship, just one of a different color. And less chrome.

 

[bleep] buddies are in a relationship. Just not one of the same kind as a friendship...or a "dating" relationship. But that ship is ALL chrome

 

Just as an extra throw in - I don't believe "asexual" people exist. They just haven't figured out what turns 'em on yet.

 

^

 

It's not like there are only 2 types of relationships. What he describes as a sexual relationship is just a close friendship, but he wants to be able to call a person like that a girlfriend. For some reason. It's being sexually exclusive without the intimacy (y)

 

asexuals aren't even relevant here. It's like arguing about shoes and saying 'they are just a state of mind maaaaan, look at the people with no feet' I was curious because iirc you went out with a young girl, and you can't define things like that early.

I'm confused here...are you arguing with me or agreeing with me, IamDan?

 

and I'm not the one that confused asexuals and bisexuals >.<

Sexual relations implies relationship. But relationship doesn't imply sexual relations.

 

Two people can be together without feeling the need to have sex, especially when they're still young.

I already said that, when I talked about virgins and the earlier [as in age group] dating stages.

Okay, everyone is in a relationship with everyone by Flyingjj's standards. and that makes perfect sense. Because we are all in fact in some form of relationship with eachother. But for it to be a proper "romantic" or "dating" relationship, there needs to be sexual tension. otherwise it's just friendship. It's still a 'ship, just one of a different color. And less chrome.

 

[bleep] buddies are in a relationship. Just not one of the same kind as a friendship...or a "dating" relationship. But that ship is ALL chrome

 

Just as an extra throw in - I don't believe "asexual" people exist. They just haven't figured out what turns 'em on yet.

So I get to be in a relationship with you?? Score one for me ;)

Honestly, there is a need for some kind of sexual tension and attraction in a relationship. I don't care if the tension is about moving from first to second, or about going for a home run, it needs to be there. If there's no sexual tension, you're either just friends, or married.

 

Unrelated note: GREAT summer coming up. So last year, I was on this church retreat thing. We went to this place, and helped repair some woman's house. We shingled her roof, built a ramp to her back porch, put in new doors and windows, etc. My church youth group (middle school and high school) did this with the youth group of a church that's in Pennsylvania, pretty far away from where I live in VA. There was this one girl there who I was pretty interested in and flirted with a lot, but she had a boyfriend. Who was on the trip with us. But I got her number, and we talk to each other a lot. This summer I'm going to Ocean City for a week. Turns out, she's gonna be there for 3 of the days that I'm there. Then we were talking, and she said she was really into me over the summer and would have dumped her boyfriend for me in a heartbeat. And that she knows we won't be able to have like a long distance relationship or anything, but still wants to have fun this summer.

I wish summer started tomorrow.

She'll dump her boyfriend for you in a second? How do you know she won't dump you for someone else in a second?

Okay, everyone is in a relationship with everyone by Flyingjj's standards. and that makes perfect sense. Because we are all in fact in some form of relationship with eachother. But for it to be a proper "romantic" or "dating" relationship, there needs to be sexual tension. otherwise it's just friendship. It's still a 'ship, just one of a different color. And less chrome.

 

[bleep] buddies are in a relationship. Just not one of the same kind as a friendship...or a "dating" relationship. But that ship is ALL chrome

 

Just as an extra throw in - I don't believe "asexual" people exist. They just haven't figured out what turns 'em on yet.

If there's no sexual tension, you're either just friends, or married.

 

 

 

LOL

 

I'd congradulate you on the summer thing, but thats a bit of a soft spot for me, being on the other end of that deal. Congrats anyway, though. Sounds like you'll have a fun summer :D

I'm not talking to you and I already edited the post where I quoted you. Just got you confused with the other guy that time.

I disagree. We're not making it complicated. relationships are a very complicated subject, and we're merely discussing the finer points of what constitutes a relationship. My argument is that the word relationship c be applied to any...well...relationship. But a 'romantic' one would requi sexual tension, unless the two parties are young/inexperienced.

 

This is what we do when no one has problems. Is that such a bad thing? :)

She'll dump her boyfriend for you in a second? How do you know she won't dump you for someone else in a second?

Well she was saying she didn't really like her boyfriend and wanted to break up with him anyway. Honestly I don't know that, but I'm usually pretty optimistic. I guess I'll just have to trust her.

 

I'd congradulate you on the summer thing, but thats a bit of a soft spot for me, being on the other end of that deal. Congrats anyway, though. Sounds like you'll have a fun summer :D

Ah. Well sorry about being on the wrong end of that man :P And yeah I will :D

 

Ok, enough arguing about what constitutes a relationship. Lets solve some problems!!!

I second that motion!

 

I'll be the first to ask for advice :D

 

This isn't so much a problem [or even dilemna really] but it's a legit question.

 

Okay, so I'm going on my senior trip soon, down to Florida. I want to bring some condoms, but the school's gonna search our luggage before we get on the bus to the airport. If they find anything that "promotes bad behaviour" they'll just confiscate it and probably notify my parents. That'd be bad. I'm not sure if the airline itself would have any issue with such parafanelia though. So I'm thinking just stick 'em in my pockets and hope the airport security doesn't mind seeing a ton of latex when I empty my pockets for the metal detector.

 

Got any good ways of smuggling 'em with me?

If the school is searching your luggage and carry-on, then I guess if you have pockets like on the inside of a jacket, put them there. As far as I know, condoms are fine to carry with you since they aren't on the TSA's list of prohibited materials. Link

I guess you could email someone from TSA, one of those question things, and ask about whether or not condoms are allowed to be brought as a carry-on item. If they can't be carried on but brought in a suitcase, then I guess you'll have to pull one over on your school or buy some when you get there.

I second that motion!

 

I'll be the first to ask for advice :D

 

This isn't so much a problem [or even dilemna really] but it's a legit question.

 

Okay, so I'm going on my senior trip soon, down to Florida. I want to bring some condoms, but the school's gonna search our luggage before we get on the bus to the airport. If they find anything that "promotes bad behaviour" they'll just confiscate it and probably notify my parents. That'd be bad. I'm not sure if the airline itself would have any issue with such parafanelia though. So I'm thinking just stick 'em in my pockets and hope the airport security doesn't mind seeing a ton of latex when I empty my pockets for the metal detector.

 

Got any good ways of smuggling 'em with me?

Condoms don't promote bad behavior, they promote safe behavior. Or is your school one of those schools that teach "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in a dimension full of dogs, who will then eat it"?

 

Anyway, I don't think the airport will arrest you for carrying condoms. Pocket sounds good.

I'm pretty sure I've taken condoms onto a plane in my purse. So you'll probably be fine just keeping them in your pocket.

Condoms don't promote bad behavior, they promote safe behavior. Or is your school one of those schools that teach "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in a dimension full of dogs, who will then eat it"?

 

Anyway, I don't think the airport will arrest you for carrying condoms. Pocket sounds good.

I think the point is that the school doesn't want kids having sex on their trip.

You could also probably fit quite a few in your wallet it you don't want to be so obvious when pulling them out of your pocket.

Condoms don't promote bad behavior, they promote safe behavior. Or is your school one of those schools that teach "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in a dimension full of dogs, who will then eat it"?

 

Anyway, I don't think the airport will arrest you for carrying condoms. Pocket sounds good.

I think the point is that the school doesn't want kids having sex on their trip.

If they're really determined, it won't stop them from having sex, it'll stop them from having safe sex. But if they're that determined, that's probably not good either.

 

My point is, they shouldn't take condoms from kids. Period.