"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Skill_Caster]

Very smooth.

 

Just in case anyone's wonder what that even looks like...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAKAwgq_A74

[Omar]

Of maybe the 10 pages I've read of this lengthy thread, that post was actually one of them. I just can't seem to find my niche in society and I don't have anything to be proud of. The only thing I have that's respectable in the eyes of maybe at least 1 person in the world is my runescape account. Which to be honest isn't all that good, but above average. Too bad I can't tell anyone I know irl about it because they just don't care.

I'm assuming you're under 25? Maybe you should quit Runescape for a bit and find something creative to do.

Take up an instrument. Something to do with yourself that could become a chick magnet, maybe.

I played piano and some drums for a while, but that never really got me anywhere. I ended up quitting.

Well of course, with that mentality... How long did you play them?

[Jaffy1]

[hide]

Of maybe the 10 pages I've read of this lengthy thread, that post was actually one of them. I just can't seem to find my niche in society and I don't have anything to be proud of. The only thing I have that's respectable in the eyes of maybe at least 1 person in the world is my runescape account. Which to be honest isn't all that good, but above average. Too bad I can't tell anyone I know irl about it because they just don't care.

I'm assuming you're under 25? Maybe you should quit Runescape for a bit and find something creative to do.

Take up an instrument. Something to do with yourself that could become a chick magnet, maybe.

[/hide]

I played piano and some drums for a while, but that never really got me anywhere. I ended up quitting.

Well of course, with that mentality... How long did you play them?

 

Forgive me for not reading the past few pages, but you should not play an instrument to get someone to like you (either as a friend, or as a SO).

If you enjoyed playing the piano or drums, then you may as well pick it up again as a hobby, but if your motivation was something other than fun you're better off not doing so.

 

To be liked by others, being yourself is very important. Be nice, and others will treat you with kindness in return. Be a nice chap to hang out with, and people will hang out with you. Make sure you take care of yourself; be happy and groomed. Girls will notice you.

 

And.. there's nothing wrong with playing RuneScape as a teenager (or adult even), as long as it does not control your life, and you make sure real life takes priority over RuneScape adventures.

 

Also: Youtube video 2 posts above this one - very nice. :cool:

 

Go back to piano then. Just play a girl the intro to bat out of hell then unzip your fly and crack a beer.

I'll assume you're single. <_<

[Omar]

Bad luck, every assumption you've made in that post is diametrically opposite from reality. :lol:

We're finding Hakaan something stimulating to do with his time in order to enjoy his time and be a little less pessimistic about things. It's indirectly about being liked by others, but first and foremost about being liked by your own self.

There's nothing wrong with playing Runescape, but it's probably a kind of comfort zone for him, and getting away from that might help him see new things.

Dan is in a successful relationship and has probably had more sexual partners in 5 years than some of us will in a lifetime.

[Jaffy1]

Dan is in a successful relationship and has probably had more sexual partners in 5 years than some of us will in a lifetime.

I wouldn't see that as a sign of success, to be honest. Sleeping around is rather a sign of bad relationships solely based on hormones.

 

If you're trying to say I'm wrong in my above post, please do explain, because as a female I think it should be said we don't want a guy that simply does things to be liked without caring for them.

 

As for finding something stimulating to do: everyone needs hobbies. If you attend school or college the start is by socially interacting with your fellow students, taking up a sport or instrument. Or get a job and interact with co-workers outside of work. This is something personal and depends on their own preference.

[Omar]

Dan is in a successful relationship and has probably had more sexual partners in 5 years than some of us will in a lifetime.

I wouldn't see that as a sign of success, to be honest. Sleeping around is rather a sign of bad relationships solely based on hormones.

 

If you're trying to say I'm wrong in my above post, please do explain, because as a female I think it should be said we don't want a guy that simply does things to be liked without caring for them.

 

As for finding something stimulating to do: everyone needs hobbies. If you attend school or college the start is by socially interacting with your fellow students, taking up a sport or instrument. Or get a job and interact with co-workers outside of work. This is something personal and depends on their own preference.

Okay, let me explain again: Dan is in a successful, stable, relationship that is not about mindless sex, AND he's been good at attracting women for a while now.

Again, Hakaan's situation, for now, has nothing to do with girls, it's just about finding something stimulating to do... If he doesn't like playing piano (which I don't believe is really possible, maybe he's not playing the right things, but regardless) that's not what he should be doing; on the other hand, you can't apply a "that didn't get me anywhere" rationale to piano.

[RpgGamer]

nevermind lol

[Iamdan]

Dan is in a successful relationship and has probably had more sexual partners in 5 years than some of us will in a lifetime.

I wouldn't see that as a sign of success, to be honest. Sleeping around is rather a sign of bad relationships solely based on hormones.

Or perhaps I was just out to have fun and didn't want to jump into a relationship with the first girl who was attracted to me ;)

Now that I've found someone I wanted to be with, it has gone quite well.

 

We're suggesting that he pick up hobbies, keep busy and improve himself until he is happy. Is that such a bad thing, whatever the motivation that drives him?

[RpgGamer]

my ex [not the crazy one] (i love that i have to specify like that) was talking to the girl that was head over heels for me and basically gave her the whole nine yards about how I can't commit and don't want to date her.

 

Cause that was necessary lol. This is my punishment for hanging with highschool girls.

[Jeffwilson99]

Maybe you should move on from that crowd of younger, immature girls. Aren't you at college? There should be heaps of young girls your age out there.

[Jaffy1]

Dan is in a successful relationship and has probably had more sexual partners in 5 years than some of us will in a lifetime.

I wouldn't see that as a sign of success, to be honest. Sleeping around is rather a sign of bad relationships solely based on hormones.

Or perhaps I was just out to have fun and didn't want to jump into a relationship with the first girl who was attracted to me ;)

Now that I've found someone I wanted to be with, it has gone quite well.

 

I never said that - what I said was in reply to Omar, who made it seem you went from one to another. As far as sleeping around goes, there are plenty of guys following junior 'tween the legs, and plenty of people doing the rebound sex. Personally, I frown at both.

 

Anyway, what I quoted from you was either a joke on your behalf, or crappy advice, which is why I replied to it.

 

We're suggesting that he pick up hobbies, keep busy and improve himself until he is happy. Is that such a bad thing, whatever the motivation that drives him?

That's pretty much what I said too, so I don't see the problem.

The only issue is that doing something you hate doesn't make one happy. He should find something he enjoys, and not do something to be liked.

[Ginger_Warrior]

TBH if you're only playing piano to get in with girls then the point of playing music's kind of flown over your head and girls who are genuinely interested in music will detect it a mile off.

 

If you actually enjoy playing piano then just play piano for the sake of playing piano. I played drums once and it made me happier; it didn't get me laid but it was a creative outlet and it took my mind off things.

[Iamdan]

That's pretty much what I said too, so I don't see the problem.

The only issue is that doing something you hate doesn't make one happy. He should find something he enjoys, and not do something to be liked.

Nobody is saying he should, because there are so many things he can try instead.

 

Be honest though. You've never worn high heels, or had long hair that is a pain to take care of? Or done something you didn't particularly like because it made you feel good in the long run? Would it have made you feel the same way if guys didn't like those things?

 

I bet you don't enjoy shaving your legs, or saying no to that extra piece of cake.

 

If it doesn't apply to you then I'm sure you realize most women do.

 

We're hardwired to reproduce. It's not such a big deal if we sacrifice a little here and there to achieve that.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that it's not quite as black and white as your post suggests.

 

It was a joke btw, which is why your reply confused me.

[Ginger_Warrior]

There are other reasons for all of those things though. Work demands we appear presentable, hence women who wear skirts shave legs. That's nothing to do with reproduction.

 

Wanting to look good != wanting to have sex.

[Iamdan]

We both know that's not the main reason for it. Girls still shave their legs before they go out.

 

Not directly because they want sex, but looking attractive is a big reason for it. Have a flip through a womens magazine, or even talking to a girl long enough for them to bring it up makes it evident

 

It's why they feel better in skinny jeans than sweatpants in public.

[Ginger_Warrior]

OK, woman who want to have sex might try to make themselves more attractive, but there are many reasons why women (and men) would try to make themselves more attractive, sex being only one of them.

 

In any case, the OP is clearly unhappy about his life in general and making himself appear more attractive so he gets laid isn't going to fix that. Let's just all agree that he needs to do something he actually enjoys, not something which other people will happen to find appealing.

[Omar]

In the end, it's all about making yourself more presentable to others, and indirectly about being liked by others (not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way).

[Hakaan]

Wow, I started quite the discussion. I've never had that happen before. Haven't checked this thread in a while. To answer whoever it was who asked, I played piano for about 6 or 7 years and drums for about 1 or 2. As school got harder I just couldn't find the time to practice and had to give them up. I could only enjoy playing them after I had practiced long and hard to get a song down.

[Omar]

Playing with other people is more fun.

[RpgGamer]

Looking good makes other perceive you in a new fashion. Respect yourself, and people will respect you. Like yourself, and people will like you too. We are sheep by nature. Feeling good about yourself will make other's feel the same. It only takes a few simple perspective changes to completely revamp your lifestyle. [or contentness of your current lifestyle]

[Hakaan]

I find it pretty much impossible to like myself. I hate myself. And I hate myself for hating myself because I shouldn't hate myself. And it's a continuous cycle of hate for myself.

[RpgGamer]

I find it pretty much impossible to like myself. I hate myself. And I hate myself for hating myself because I shouldn't hate myself. And it's a continuous cycle of hate for myself.

 

I've met a lot of people like this. It's a real tough cycle to break. Theoretically a dramatic act of out-of character play could help.

 

Am I right in assuming your parents are rather over bearing?

[Hakaan]

Not too much, they let me do what I want for the most part except for a few things. And I also have to pay for everything I buy myself. It can get rather annoying tbh. But why does that matter?

[RpgGamer]

Not too much, they let me do what I want for the most part except for a few things. And I also have to pay for everything I buy myself. It can get rather annoying tbh. But why does that matter?

 

My Adolescent Psychology Major is showing. I'm looking for correlation between parenting styles and personality of kids. I've found strong correlation with semi-tyrannical parenting and self hatred.

[Furah]

I think my friend is trying to talk my ex into wanting to be [bleep] buddies with me. :unsure:

 

My Adolescent Psychology Major is showing. I'm looking for correlation between parenting styles and personality of kids. I've found strong correlation with semi-tyrannical parenting and self hatred.

Find the correlation between parenting styles and little [cabbage]s with no manners or respect. Then I can get to work getting those kinds of adults to stop breeding.