"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

There's a reason single girls are single lol

[Mirror]

Alright, I'm just trying to figure out the "right" way to go about this.

 

Ok, you see this girl. I'm dating her. I've been dating her for a few months now. Her parents were all cool with it, thinking it wasn't going anywhere. Well, now we are long distance. So, her parents have caught the smell that this isn't cool anymore because it's somewhat serious now. Now the parents have a problem with it because I didn't fit into their plans for their daughter and only child.

 

So my question, how do I tread these waters without upsetting the powers that be? Not like I can do anything now with their daughter except skype dates :P

[Tim]

In a blunt sense, its up to you and her. If you love her and vice versa and can manage long distance then in my opinion its fine. Somehow either party will upset the parents of the other, it's just one of those inevitable things.

[Lose No Hope]

Well... this is a tough predicament.

 

I like someone who I'm good friends with. I've liked her for a few weeks now. She's sweet, fun to be around, intelligent, and we have a lot in common. I'm not really sure if I'm in the friend-only zone and with there being only 5 days of school left, including finals, there isn't much time before summer splits us for a few months.

 

WAT DO

 

(This is high-school, and I'm relatively new to the whole relationship thing)

[RpgGamer]

long distance is kind of stupid, good luck to ya

[tripsis]

long distance is kind of stupid, good luck to ya

If you're thinking long term, I beg to differ :P

[RpgGamer]

long distance is kind of stupid, good luck to ya

If you're thinking long term, I beg to differ :P

 

more like emotionally attached pen pals, but that's just me and my thoughts on the subject. I don't think I could date a girl that lived more than 20 miles away

[tripsis]

long distance is kind of stupid, good luck to ya

If you're thinking long term, I beg to differ :P

 

more like emotionally attached pen pals, but that's just me and my thoughts on the subject. I don't think I could date a girl that lived more than 20 miles away

I wouldn't expect most people to understand long distance relationships or want to have one until they have a serious, long-term relationship. From the many posts of yours I've read, I'd say you've had a lot of flings and typical high school relationships. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but my point is that with those kind of relationships I totally agree that long distance is stupid and has more restrictions than long term benefits.

 

Long distance relationships are for people who meet someone they're deeply in love with, someone they're perfectly compatible with, someone they could imagine spending the rest of their life with. Then once you have that, spending a few weeks/months/years apart is worth it when you believe you'll have the rest of your lives together.

[Range_This11]

I was very much in love with my girlfriend of multiple years and we tried to do a long-distance relationship when I moved to college. It sucked and I will never do it again. A healthy relationship cannot be maintained through a phone or a computer.

[RpgGamer]

I was very much in love with my girlfriend of multiple years and we tried to do a long-distance relationship when I moved to college. It sucked and I will never do it again. A healthy relationship cannot be maintained through a phone or a computer.

 

tihs. Only I wasn't the one that had the first hand experience. 3 of my friends did.

 

But thank you tripsis for paying attention to my posts enough to get an idea of where my philosophy comes from :P means alot :)

 

 

As to my relationship history, I had one "one love" type relationship that lasted successfully for 11 months, then kinda of went hay wire for another 2 years on top of it topping off at a total of near 3 years of commitment. She was my world. in between my 15th and 16th break up with her I dated a girl for 3 weeks [typical high-school relationship]. After my 16th break up with my first love, I went on a trek of just flings and hookups. It's been a little over a year, and I'm still sticking to that methodology. [/life story]

[Orpheus]

Well... this is a tough predicament.

 

I like someone who I'm good friends with. I've liked her for a few weeks now. She's sweet, fun to be around, intelligent, and we have a lot in common. I'm not really sure if I'm in the friend-only zone and with there being only 5 days of school left, including finals, there isn't much time before summer splits us for a few months.

 

WAT DO

 

(This is high-school, and I'm relatively new to the whole relationship thing)

 

If you're really interested in dating her, ask her. Do not dwell on this, better to go in and get smashed to bits than not try at all.

 

In any case, if there's one thing about me I've noticed, it's that I get something going, but it just dies off after that. No idea why.

[Ouchy]

I need more female friends.

Quite literally, I only have one female friend that I am close to and regularly talk too. Because of not having enough female friends, I haven't had a girlfriend for a while... It really does not help seeing as I go to an all boys school.

 

I'm not hideous, I'm not an arsehole, I just don't seem too have that many female friends.

Any tips, kind folks of OT?

[RpgGamer]

I need more female friends.

Quite literally, I only have one female friend that I am close to and regularly talk too. Because of not having enough female friends, I haven't had a girlfriend for a while... It really does not help seeing as I go to an all boys school.

 

I'm not hideous, I'm not an arsehole, I just don't seem too have that many female friends.

Any tips, kind folks of OT?

 

hang with your female friend's friends and expand your network. Also, actually giving a crap about a girl's feelings tends to lead to their friendship.

[Ouchy]

I need more female friends.

Quite literally, I only have one female friend that I am close to and regularly talk too. Because of not having enough female friends, I haven't had a girlfriend for a while... It really does not help seeing as I go to an all boys school.

 

I'm not hideous, I'm not an arsehole, I just don't seem too have that many female friends.

Any tips, kind folks of OT?

 

hang with your female friend's friends and expand your network. Also, actually giving a crap about a girl's feelings tends to lead to their friendship.

 

I never said I didn't give a crap about their feeling.

[RpgGamer]

I need more female friends.

Quite literally, I only have one female friend that I am close to and regularly talk too. Because of not having enough female friends, I haven't had a girlfriend for a while... It really does not help seeing as I go to an all boys school.

 

I'm not hideous, I'm not an arsehole, I just don't seem too have that many female friends.

Any tips, kind folks of OT?

 

hang with your female friend's friends and expand your network. Also, actually giving a crap about a girl's feelings tends to lead to their friendship.

 

I never said I didn't give a crap about their feeling.

 

I never implied that you didn't

[Range_This11]

Just be kind and most of all listen--even if their problems seem trivial. In my opinion, female friends are better than male friends sometimes. Sausage fests get boring.

[Harpy]

I've liked a girl for 9 months now and she's liked me the whole time also.. (you guys may have seen my previous post a couple weeks ago).. We didn't start dating yet or anything, but then on Friday night we hungout and pretty much "officially" started dating.. This afternoon she told me that she "couldn't be so attached to with her emotions and heart.." so she said we couldn't be friends anymore..

 

I seriously feel like dieing. :(

[RpgGamer]

I've liked a girl for 9 months now and she's liked me the whole time also.. (you guys may have seen my previous post a couple weeks ago).. We didn't start dating yet or anything, but then on Friday night we hungout and pretty much "officially" started dating.. This afternoon she told me that she "couldn't be so attached to with her emotions and heart.." so she said we couldn't be friends anymore..

 

I seriously feel like dieing. :(

 

girls are dumb sometimes. But this is what happens when you let things drag on. If you feel a connection, go for it. Waiting for it isn't going to make things any better.

[Iamdan]

I've liked a girl for 9 months now and she's liked me the whole time also.. (you guys may have seen my previous post a couple weeks ago).. We didn't start dating yet or anything, but then on Friday night we hungout and pretty much "officially" started dating.. This afternoon she told me that she "couldn't be so attached to with her emotions and heart.." so she said we couldn't be friends anymore..

 

I seriously feel like dieing. :(

 

Sounds like you gave her some kind of emotional blue balls, or maybe it is the 'some girls are dumb' thing. She sounds like a bit of a drama queen. Make a physical move asap but make sure it's a confident looking one.

 

My girlfriend keeps getting groped.. I'd love to break some fingers but it's always when I'm not there.

 

Keep doing it you seedy [bleep]s, but at the end of the day you go home alone.

[TTanT]

I've liked a girl for 9 months now and she's liked me the whole time also.. (you guys may have seen my previous post a couple weeks ago).. We didn't start dating yet or anything, but then on Friday night we hungout and pretty much "officially" started dating.. This afternoon she told me that she "couldn't be so attached to with her emotions and heart.." so she said we couldn't be friends anymore..

 

I seriously feel like dieing. :(

 

Sounds like you gave her some kind of emotional blue balls, or maybe it is the 'some girls are dumb' thing. She sounds like a bit of a drama queen. Make a physical move asap but make sure it's a confident looking one.

 

My girlfriend keeps getting groped.. I'd love to break some fingers but it's always when I'm not there.

 

Keep doing it you seedy [bleep]s, but at the end of the day you go home alone.

 

Buy a tazer and rig it to attach to her bra/ fit in her pocket.

 

...Just make sure it only zaps outwards.

[Hakaan]

This thing called (I think) a "girl" talked to me today. I found myself attracted to her. It was interesting.

[Furah]

Buy a tazer and rig it to attach to her bra/ fit in her pocket.

 

...Just make sure it only zaps outwards.

I dunno man, that might encourage the dude. I know it'd encourage me. :-w

 

Mind you, I'd have made sure either she was single, or the boyfriend wasn't some guy I was friends with or was likely to bash my face in.

[Ezkaton]

I have a *situation* yeahs... That'd the the right word... That I'd like some advice on.

 

BTW Get comfy guys, Walls of text/long story coming :3

 

Basically Last year there was this girl that I really liked, nothing happened because she was with one of my hallmates, but she also had a boyfriend at home... So we became best friends I ignored liking her and I guess I have the better deal... She's told me several times now on many different occasions I know her more than anyone else in her life and that she depends on me. So yeahs. But she broke up with both guys over summer and when uni year 2 hit she got back with the guy here.

 

HOWEVER, now she's got another guy at home she really likes and thus it always falls back to muggins here to be the one that she can fall back on and be there to be all "Awwww come here *bigsquishcwtch* (epic hug/cuddle to you non-Welshies) everything's ok, you have me".

 

But the week before last week, enough was enough, she tried to break up with the one here at uni because she doesn't love him anymore and apparently they both ended up sobbing, sobbing turned to passion, passion turned to sex, sex turned to sleeping the night sleeping the night returned to "aww he's really sweet I couldn't bring myself to do it." So instead of being a mug I fed her every home truth she had to hear off me and she stormed off.

 

Later that week we finally patched things up at the pub and I gave her that big squishy cwtch and everything was fine. She'd told the lad here she needed space which in her eyes is the first step to breaking up with him.

 

 

So then Sunday rolled around and I started feeling really crappy. I don't know why, just happens from time to time, I get massive mood swings (it's an entire story in and of itself and I don't wana post it here just yet as only a few people who REALLY know me know it). And so we were talking on fb as she seemed down. We both said that we were getting sick of this place (honestly Lampeter where I'm at uni is an enigma to us... It's bigger than a village but smaller than a town and the only thing to do is go to the various pubs around). So I waited 15 mins for her reply and got bored and said a harsh comment which was along the lines of "is it because of all the [cabbage] with your relationships?" and she flew off the handle, told me to grow up and don't talk to her until I'm emotionally OK again because she thinks that's why I was so harsh with home truths and that comment.

 

 

We didn't speak for roughly a week before she begrudgingly apologised... She sent me a text saying "Y'know what? I'm sorry" which to me she wasn't very sorry at all. And we've talked a bit since then, mostly her wanting to get back into the swing of things but I haven't told her I'm still pissed at her for what she said. And these past few days (she knows me like a book and can tell something IS up) she's not let go that somethings up with me yet I keep denying it (I'm an awful liar) and she finally told me the reason she things I'm not ok atm is because "you're not right".

 

My friends keep telling me to stop beating myself up so much all the time and stop taking the fall for people who don't appreciate me.

 

 

But yeahs.... Guys what do you think I should do? Should I let go of my stubborn bastard-yness. Or am I in the right keeping her in the dark and at arms length making her come to me? I really dunno if what I'm doing is the right thing anymore and I only have 2 weeks before I go back home for 3 months in which I'll probably visit her a bit and visa versa.

[sarg1010]

I think your friends are right. If she just uses you as a "pillow", but gets mad when you tell her the truth, forget about her.

[Hobgoblinpie]

@Ezkaton

 

If you know she can read you like a book, then don't lie.

 

If you want to keep falling out with her, because you can't hold back comments (which you shouldn't have to, and she should at least understand your situation), then remain as her cushion.

 

Otherwise, call it quits and just move on.

 

Sounds harsh, but, without changing the focus from you, I've been put in a situation by my closest friend (I don't use 'best' as it seems irreverently childish), where I have been unable to hold back my thoughts (not going to go into detail about what happened). What did she do when I put it bluntly to her? She didn't storm off and cry about it. She understood my point, apologised and things went back to normal. That is 'healthy'.

 

As your friends have said, if you want to be a cushion/pillow for her, then go ahead and continue what you're doing. I will wholeheartedly agree with your friends. You need to distance yourself at least for a while, and find a new best/closest friend. At least if you want to stop getting pissed off anyway.