"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Surprise]

:huh:

when i had it with(how its called in english?) a girl it whent out because of a stupid [bycicle] who was telling it to everyone and she didnt like it.

seccond time,not long ago, i liked here and it [failled] up because well i dont know...in the beginning it went all good,felt really good to.

and than1 time bam it all went down...friend say you gotta move on.

but im really like wtf..

 

Got with? (How I would say it, may vary in American.)

Also, are you asking for advice or just stating?

 

i wanna knwo how it can go from top to flop while i didnt change.

i find that really confusing :huh:

 

i) You didn't realise what you had done.

ii) She had changed in the weeks/months you were together.

iii) She was influenced by external factors e.g. another boy or her bestfriend.

iv) The chemistry just didn't exist.

 

i think iii because there where 2 friends of me that told like half the school

and she is like a member of the populair group or how should i say..some of thos people are nice(like she is) but most of them are people yu would wanna hit straight in the face.

and a guy from my class told me just before it went wrong she had a boyfriend...but it looked lik she self didnt knew she had 1.

does that mean again other people destroyed it or did i just leave simply no inpression at all? :???:

 

Jocks or [bleep]s.

The best thing is, if there is doubt, to stay far away. Especially if she was potentially in a relationship as they just get messy.

Mixture of the two but a stronger inclination to the "other people destroyed it."

[TKDisit]

*ended the masive quote chain*

 

staying far away is a bit hard..i sit next to her like 9 hours a week

 

this makes me feel crap...becuase its hard to forget someone you like :|

[Sam]

It will get better - it hurts now, and it will - chill out with your friends, re-kindle interests that might of trailed off while you were in a relationship. Make her miss you.

[Furah]

Hooked up with this girl that I've been talking to for about a month, tonight. She kept biting my chin, and I almost literally threw up at one point her tongue was so far jammed down my throat.

 

Someone needs to teach people how to make out right. Legit.

The sex will probably be great though.

 

I feel like you were being sarcastic, but I wouldn't doubt it to be honest.

 

I'll tell you when I find out ;)

I wasn't. Now I really want to find out.

[Harpy]

I've really liked this chick I know and I've liked her for about 8 (almost 9) months now..She likes me back, but both of us want to "wait" to date until next year (just better because our lives are sorta incompatable at the moment). But a good friend of mine (known her for like 5-6 years) seems to be liking me and I'm starting to be attracted to her (as more than a friend) I think.

 

The first girl (one I have had feelings for 8-9 months) is 7 months older than me.. The other girl is 2 years younger than me..

Any tips of which direction I should go with either of these? Or if it would even be ok to persue one or the other?

[Hobgoblinpie]

I've really liked this chick I know and I've liked her for about 8 (almost 9) months now..She likes me back, but both of us want to "wait" to date until next year (just better because our lives are sorta incompatable at the moment). But a good friend of mine (known her for like 5-6 years) seems to be liking me and I'm starting to be attracted to her (as more than a friend) I think.

 

The first girl (one I have had feelings for 8-9 months) is 7 months older than me.. The other girl is 2 years younger than me..

Any tips of which direction I should go with either of these? Or if it would even be ok to persue one or the other?

 

 

Which ones is more attractive to you? I'm not talking necessarily about looks, but I mean which seems more compatible in terms of personality, interests, and, of course, physical attractiveness (doesn't mean you're shallow, because you still need to be attracted to the person).

[Harpy]

I've really liked this chick I know and I've liked her for about 8 (almost 9) months now..She likes me back, but both of us want to "wait" to date until next year (just better because our lives are sorta incompatable at the moment). But a good friend of mine (known her for like 5-6 years) seems to be liking me and I'm starting to be attracted to her (as more than a friend) I think.

 

The first girl (one I have had feelings for 8-9 months) is 7 months older than me.. The other girl is 2 years younger than me..

Any tips of which direction I should go with either of these? Or if it would even be ok to persue one or the other?

 

 

Which ones is more attractive to you? I'm not talking necessarily about looks, but I mean which seems more compatible in terms of personality, interests, and, of course, physical attractiveness (doesn't mean you're shallow, because you still need to be attracted to the person).

 

To be completely honest, they both are. The younger one maybe a bit more (overall) than the older one, but then again, she is younger.. By quite a bit. She'd a only be a Freshman in Highschool if we were to date. And to me, that just seems abit weird (since I'm a rising Junior). But maybe that's just because I've almost always liked older-girls. :o

[Silvertaler]

Man... fell so embarassed last time I asked a girl out... how can I ever get over this now, it's been so many times I failed to go out with girls that I barely dare even come on topics like this again. I was told I'd get courage wether or not she said yes. It wasn't true. Getting a no from a girl just builds up more underconfidence. I don't want it to get even worse for me, don't wanna add up another "no" to the list. Just what am I supposed to do? I just don't get why it's so hard for me. It's making me want to believe all girls decided to never get date me.

[Sam]

The most successful men are the one's that aren't afraid of rejection - harsh, but most definitely true.

[Hobgoblinpie]

To be completely honest, they both are. The younger one maybe a bit more (overall) than the older one, but then again, she is younger.. By quite a bit. She'd a only be a Freshman in Highschool if we were to date. And to me, that just seems abit weird (since I'm a rising Junior). But maybe that's just because I've almost always liked older-girls. :o

 

If you're nervous a but what other people think, then go for the older one. However, if you don't care (and you shouldn't), then go for the younger one.

 

Man... fell so embarassed last time I asked a girl out... how can I ever get over this now, it's been so many times I failed to go out with girls that I barely dare even come on topics like this again. I was told I'd get courage wether or not she said yes. It wasn't true. Getting a no from a girl just builds up more underconfidence. I don't want it to get even worse for me, don't wanna add up another "no" to the list. Just what am I supposed to do? I just don't get why it's so hard for me. It's making me want to believe all girls decided to never get date me.

 

Meh, she missed out. Always think positive!

[RpgGamer]

I've really liked this chick I know and I've liked her for about 8 (almost 9) months now..She likes me back, but both of us want to "wait" to date until next year (just better because our lives are sorta incompatable at the moment). But a good friend of mine (known her for like 5-6 years) seems to be liking me and I'm starting to be attracted to her (as more than a friend) I think.

 

The first girl (one I have had feelings for 8-9 months) is 7 months older than me.. The other girl is 2 years younger than me..

Any tips of which direction I should go with either of these? Or if it would even be ok to persue one or the other?

 

tough call. Age is a stupid factor to base it on, but I think you'd probably appreciate a relationship with someone your age a bit more. Assuming both girls act their generic age. Which I can't because I don't know them. Truly ask yourself, is it worth waiting a year for whatersname verse getting the other attractive girl here and now? I don't have enough details to actually say pick one over the other, but there are certain things you need to consider:

 

1) prom

2) progression of dating physicality

3) instant gratification/waiting

4) social stigma

5) how either will feel after you reject them

and other things obviously

 

Personally I tihnk it's stupid to wait a year to date a girl you've clearly liked for a while now. If it hasn't happened yet because you didn't make time for her, and she didn't make time for you, obviously you aren't worth it to each other to try. Based on that principle....go with the younger girl. But its all about preference like I said...maybe the older one's got something you truly want to wait for?

[Silvertaler]

The most successful men are the one's that aren't afraid of rejection - harsh, but most definitely true.

Oh cut that already. That's true in the imaginary world where everybody lives by proverbs and principles. But this is the real world, people rarely live by reason in these situations. And even in the imaginary world I wouldn't agree with you, that sounds just like the prideful guy who doesn't know how to change strategies and just keeps digging himself into a hole he can't get out of.

 

Maybe there must be a lot of difference between the places in which we live. Here, things don't work the way you see them. Girls don't respect unknown guys if they come up to them and ask them out, no matter how much courage it takes from them. They don't give a damn if they can handle rejection or not. In my case she didn't knew how exactly I had handled rejection, and she still went talk crap to others. And that's how it's always been. I've been told it's because of their age? They're 18 now, even one girl who was 19 did the same [cabbage] to me and I actually knew her better. What is it that scares them so much about going out with a guy? There's nothing bad about it, it's not like somebody's trying to kidnap them. Can't get why they resist so much.

 

So anyway besides the straight forward method, which obviously is a failure, what else is there I can do? I need to go through the friends part but yeah when you have no reason to talk and become friends in the first place... this really is the toughest game I ever played.

[Sam]

What do you expect if you ask out a girl who doesn't even know you? Sure, it's a confident move but you need to get to know them a little before you make such a move. If she's talked crap about it then she is not worth your effort at all.

[Omar]

The most successful men are the one's that aren't afraid of rejection - harsh, but most definitely true.

Oh cut that already. That's true in the imaginary world where everybody lives by proverbs and principles. But this is the real world, people rarely live by reason in these situations. And even in the imaginary world I wouldn't agree with you, that sounds just like the prideful guy who doesn't know how to change strategies and just keeps digging himself into a hole he can't get out of.

No, you don't just ask out a girl like that, you're absolutely right; you did it the wrong way. Admittedly, when you walk up to a girl at a club, she's kind of expecting it, whereas your crush was like a deer in the headlights. You're also supposed to attract her before asking her out. But really, if you're expecting to get anywhere without ever making mistakes, you're not going to budge. Not a bit. If you want to keep on doing nothing, just stick to shying away from challenge.

The whole idea is that you should be learning from your mistakes, and not in a "yup, sounds like girls are just not for me" way. When I met my first girlfriend, all I did was talk about nothing serious at all, and every time I've met a girl who showed IOIs, I just didn't let myself be intimidated. Being witty and cocky is a good start, but being witty while remaining polite is best, I think, although it's much harder to say something funny without making fun of someone. But that entails meeting people.

Remember, you have good reasons to be proud of yourself. You've shown yourself to have more balls than all the people who are making fun of you (a number which you are most likely grossly overestimating, by the way). Good reasons to be embarrassed, too, I must admit, but you'll get over it.

[Silvertaler]

The most successful men are the one's that aren't afraid of rejection - harsh, but most definitely true.

Oh cut that already. That's true in the imaginary world where everybody lives by proverbs and principles. But this is the real world, people rarely live by reason in these situations. And even in the imaginary world I wouldn't agree with you, that sounds just like the prideful guy who doesn't know how to change strategies and just keeps digging himself into a hole he can't get out of.

No, you don't just ask out a girl like that, you're absolutely right; you did it the wrong way. Admittedly, when you walk up to a girl at a club, she's kind of expecting it, whereas your crush was like a deer in the headlights. You're also supposed to attract her before asking her out. But really, if you're expecting to get anywhere without ever making mistakes, you're not going to budge. Not a bit. If you want to keep on doing nothing, just stick to shying away from challenge.

The whole idea is that you should be learning from your mistakes, and not in a "yup, sounds like girls are just not for me" way. When I met my first girlfriend, all I did was talk about nothing serious at all, and every time I've met a girl who showed IOIs, I just didn't let myself be intimidated. Being witty and cocky is a good start, but being witty while remaining polite is best, I think, although it's much harder to say something funny without making fun of someone. But that entails meeting people.

Remember, you have good reasons to be proud of yourself. You've shown yourself to have more balls than all the people who are making fun of you (a number which you are most likely grossly overestimating, by the way). Good reasons to be embarrassed, too, I must admit, but you'll get over it.

 

I see a big difference between shying away from challenge and thinking before acting. Tell me, what would you have done after you failed a bunch of tries? Would you have gone like "oh screw it im not afraid of rejection" and kept trying the same way, or would you have gone something more like "wait, there's a problem here, better start being more cautious"? Anyway, why the heck have some of you guys told me to go and talk to her straight forward in the first place, if you knew it was wrong?

 

Talking about mistakes... well frankly I'm very tempted to put the blame on the girls rather than on myself at this point. I might be a little paranoid coming here for advice and all (then again internet ftw) but it seems to me their level of paranoia transcends reality as we know it. One girl once told me and some friends that a guy at school was after her, inviting her sometimes and telling her nice things. And the way she felt creeped out about it sounded so darn unnecessarily exaggerated. Basically, she complained about the guy, because the guy thought she was cool. Seriously... isn't it a compliment to be liked by someone, rather than a personal attack or something? I don't know if this is related to age, or if its related to cultures, or if all girls in the world just like to talk crap about people who like them. What do you think it is? Is it like this for you too?

[Omar]

The most successful men are the one's that aren't afraid of rejection - harsh, but most definitely true.

Oh cut that already. That's true in the imaginary world where everybody lives by proverbs and principles. But this is the real world, people rarely live by reason in these situations. And even in the imaginary world I wouldn't agree with you, that sounds just like the prideful guy who doesn't know how to change strategies and just keeps digging himself into a hole he can't get out of.

No, you don't just ask out a girl like that, you're absolutely right; you did it the wrong way. Admittedly, when you walk up to a girl at a club, she's kind of expecting it, whereas your crush was like a deer in the headlights. You're also supposed to attract her before asking her out. But really, if you're expecting to get anywhere without ever making mistakes, you're not going to budge. Not a bit. If you want to keep on doing nothing, just stick to shying away from challenge.

The whole idea is that you should be learning from your mistakes, and not in a "yup, sounds like girls are just not for me" way. When I met my first girlfriend, all I did was talk about nothing serious at all, and every time I've met a girl who showed IOIs, I just didn't let myself be intimidated. Being witty and cocky is a good start, but being witty while remaining polite is best, I think, although it's much harder to say something funny without making fun of someone. But that entails meeting people.

Remember, you have good reasons to be proud of yourself. You've shown yourself to have more balls than all the people who are making fun of you (a number which you are most likely grossly overestimating, by the way). Good reasons to be embarrassed, too, I must admit, but you'll get over it.

 

I see a big difference between shying away from challenge and thinking before acting. Tell me, what would you have done after you failed a bunch of tries? Would you have gone like "oh screw it im not afraid of rejection" and kept trying the same way, or would you have gone something more like "wait, there's a problem here, better start being more cautious"?

I don't know what I would have done, but I know David DeAngelo did a bit of both. He got rejected a bunch of times when he first started out, but at the same time I assume every rejection was a chace of learning something new for him. And now he's a pickup artist.

 

Anyway, why the heck have some of you guys told me to go and talk to her straight forward in the first place, if you knew it was wrong?

I didn't. We're not one single person, each of us has different ideas, etc. Maybe those people thought you might actually succeed, and they simply made a mistake too. Giving advice over the 'net is a hard life bro.

 

Talking about mistakes... well frankly I'm very tempted to put the blame on the girls rather than on myself at this point. I might be a little paranoid coming here for advice and all (then again internet ftw) but it seems to me their level of paranoia transcends reality as we know it. One girl once told me and some friends that a guy at school was after her, inviting her sometimes and telling her nice things. And the way she felt creeped out about it sounded so darn unnecessarily exaggerated. Basically, she complained about the guy, because the guy thought she was cool. Seriously... isn't it a compliment to be liked by someone, rather than a personal attack or something? I don't know if this is related to age, or if its related to cultures, or if all girls in the world just like to talk crap about people who like them. What do you think it is? Is it like this for you too?

All human beings, including the one you asked out, are flawed. In fact, she might be a total [bleep].

On one hand, this kind of situation can be hard to handle for the girl. Your feelings are on the line, and clearly things can get ugly, so the reaction you described can make sense. On the other, this can be an excuse for talking [cabbage], which is slang for making yourself feel better about your insecurities. Maybe she's genuinely worried about you, but you're right in that she might just be a particularly dislikable girl seeking attention.

[Silvertaler]

The most successful men are the one's that aren't afraid of rejection - harsh, but most definitely true.

Oh cut that already. That's true in the imaginary world where everybody lives by proverbs and principles. But this is the real world, people rarely live by reason in these situations. And even in the imaginary world I wouldn't agree with you, that sounds just like the prideful guy who doesn't know how to change strategies and just keeps digging himself into a hole he can't get out of.

No, you don't just ask out a girl like that, you're absolutely right; you did it the wrong way. Admittedly, when you walk up to a girl at a club, she's kind of expecting it, whereas your crush was like a deer in the headlights. You're also supposed to attract her before asking her out. But really, if you're expecting to get anywhere without ever making mistakes, you're not going to budge. Not a bit. If you want to keep on doing nothing, just stick to shying away from challenge.

The whole idea is that you should be learning from your mistakes, and not in a "yup, sounds like girls are just not for me" way. When I met my first girlfriend, all I did was talk about nothing serious at all, and every time I've met a girl who showed IOIs, I just didn't let myself be intimidated. Being witty and cocky is a good start, but being witty while remaining polite is best, I think, although it's much harder to say something funny without making fun of someone. But that entails meeting people.

Remember, you have good reasons to be proud of yourself. You've shown yourself to have more balls than all the people who are making fun of you (a number which you are most likely grossly overestimating, by the way). Good reasons to be embarrassed, too, I must admit, but you'll get over it.

 

I see a big difference between shying away from challenge and thinking before acting. Tell me, what would you have done after you failed a bunch of tries? Would you have gone like "oh screw it im not afraid of rejection" and kept trying the same way, or would you have gone something more like "wait, there's a problem here, better start being more cautious"?

I don't know what I would have done, but I know David DeAngelo did a bit of both. He got rejected a bunch of times when he first started out, but at the same time I assume every rejection was a chace of learning something new for him. And now he's a pickup artist.

 

Anyway, why the heck have some of you guys told me to go and talk to her straight forward in the first place, if you knew it was wrong?

I didn't. We're not one single person, each of us has different ideas, etc. Maybe those people thought you might actually succeed, and they simply made a mistake too. Giving advice over the 'net is a hard life bro.

 

Talking about mistakes... well frankly I'm very tempted to put the blame on the girls rather than on myself at this point. I might be a little paranoid coming here for advice and all (then again internet ftw) but it seems to me their level of paranoia transcends reality as we know it. One girl once told me and some friends that a guy at school was after her, inviting her sometimes and telling her nice things. And the way she felt creeped out about it sounded so darn unnecessarily exaggerated. Basically, she complained about the guy, because the guy thought she was cool. Seriously... isn't it a compliment to be liked by someone, rather than a personal attack or something? I don't know if this is related to age, or if its related to cultures, or if all girls in the world just like to talk crap about people who like them. What do you think it is? Is it like this for you too?

All human beings, including the one you asked out, are flawed. In fact, she might be a total [bleep].

On one hand, this kind of situation can be hard to handle for the girl. Your feelings are on the line, and clearly things can get ugly, so the reaction you described can make sense. On the other, this can be an excuse for talking [cabbage], which is slang for making yourself feel better about your insecurities. Maybe she's genuinely worried about you, but you're right in that she might just be a particularly dislikable girl seeking attention.

I find it hard to believe there was the slightest bit of an altruist intention in her decision.

[Omar]

I'm inclined to think that too, but I won't make a judgement.

[Iamdan]

Just because you get rejected once by a school girl of all people it doesn't mean you throw everything out the window.

 

What Sam said is right if you treat failure as a learning experience.

 

This time, go talk to girls you don't know off the street. Then you can just have fun and experiment because it wont effect your school life.

[Silvertaler]

So yeah had been concerned about all that. Now out of random I saw one of my friend girls who I used to talk with before, nice person and all. Asked her if she'd like to come with me whenever I went to do some photography artwork, she sounded pretty happy to be invited and accepted. Just like that, totally random. It's not even like I know her much.

 

I seriously don't get any of this anymore but for once it's taking me somewhere better now...

[Omar]

Congratulations!

[Silvertaler]

Congratulations!

Thanks, but I think it's still nowhere close to meaning she'll be my girlfriend unfortunately.

[obfuscator]

Nice job. Even if it doesn't amount to anything at least you got the experience I suppose :P

[Sam]

Congratulations!

Thanks, but I think it's still nowhere close to meaning she'll be my girlfriend unfortunately.

 

Work at it, it's easier than you think to make something out of it! :)

[Giordano]

Congratulations!

Thanks, but I think it's still nowhere close to meaning she'll be my girlfriend unfortunately.

First of all, don't think as every girl as a possible girlfriend. This can screw your judgement and limit your choices in the long-run.

 

Still, its a good start. Interactions with friends and people on a non-relationship level just gives you experience when you go for the next girl you really want. :wink: