"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[GlowinRedM]

K, another continuation on my thing, I think I royally [bleep]ed up. Last night, me and my friend walked to the store and back, and I was so hyper and crazy and everything. She came downstairs to see me cause I told her I was there with my friend and I was so crazy and everything, then we got the idea to convince her that he hotboxed the room and I didn't know and since I've never been high before I was acting that way cause of it. Stupid me went along with it just to see how she would react, I thought she'd laugh at the stupid stuff I was doing. Okay, I usually do stupid stuff, but I mean this was a lot more stupid of me than usual. Instead of the laughter, she looked sad and a little annoyed. I mean, I told her it was just a joke and everything and apologized before she left but still, and she was upset about it. I almost wanted to go into [bleep] mode and tell her thats how I feel when shes drunk, but I didn't to keep it from getting worse. Today I couldn't even talk to her, and I just texted her once because her and all her friends were being really loud when I was trying to study (they were a hall away and on the other floor, idk how they could get that loud) and she said "sorry we're high, go somewhere else", and I mean I figured hey I deserved that, hopefully it will blow over. Also, saw her like 30 mins before when I was out to get food, we didn't say a word to each other :( and I figured it might blow over till her facebook was like "one little thing can screw up a whole lot". Not sure if that was at me but with how she's been acting I think it might be.

 

I try to look at the positive in this, can't really see any except prolly that she does have something for me (probably not anymore though). Looking for a way to fix this, no idea what to do. Am I royally [bleep]ed or is there any hope at all for me?

[Iamdan]

Just lost a long reply that I cbf redoing, but basically..

 

Your biggest mistake was probably being apologetic for something you didnt need to apologize for.

Highschool girls get over stuff quickly most of the time so if you hold your ground it could be fine. If she doesnt get over it, do you really want to date a girl who gets pissy over something like that when you aren't even together anyway?

 

She sounds like the kind of girl that would try to keep you from spending time with the boys and want you to constantly be with her.

[Iamdan]

Oh this is the one that got drunk and made out with another guy in front of you, and now shes upset about that? Doesn't seem like a quality girl to me, id forget about her personally.

[Hobgoblinpie]

The ignorant teenager meme would be very applicable here - 'I know I'm being irrational, but I'm still right'

 

If she's going to do that to you, then get ridiculously annoyed over that (which I would quantify as a lesser issue), she has serious double standard problems. Really not worth your time, and you can't change that. If you like her as a friend, then keep her as a friend, but I'd suggest looking for someone else.

[Sam]

Spent the afternoon with a girl called Tessa that i've been talking to a lot recently - she seemed to respond well to my rather subtle flirting. Watched a couple of movies with her, and she didn't seem to mind when I put my arm around her. I don't know what to do now, really.

[Jeffwilson99]

Spent the afternoon with a girl called Tessa that i've been talking to a lot recently - she seemed to respond well to my rather subtle flirting. Watched a couple of movies with her, and she didn't seem to mind when I put my arm around her. I don't know what to do now, really.

 

[tripsis]

Panzerlord please check your PM :) Your post has been moved here: http://forum.tip.it/topic/245618-real-life-help-advice/page__st__1180__p__4809439#entry4809439

[Sam]

Spent the afternoon with a girl called Tessa that i've been talking to a lot recently - she seemed to respond well to my rather subtle flirting. Watched a couple of movies with her, and she didn't seem to mind when I put my arm around her. I don't know what to do now, really.

 

 

If only it were so easy. That's not all I want though.

[Omar]

Spent the afternoon with a girl called Tessa that i've been talking to a lot recently - she seemed to respond well to my rather subtle flirting. Watched a couple of movies with her, and she didn't seem to mind when I put my arm around her. I don't know what to do now, really.

Your challenge, in my opinion, is to move slowly while remaining interesting. Just because you have a chance, doesn't mean you have to take it.

[My_Eggs]

Well, I guess I'll post this here. I'm 17, turning 18 in a few months. I have Tourette's Syndrom, and the main tic that I have causes me to jerk my head around. It happens quite frequently, probably anywhere between 5-10 times a minute depending on how bad it gets based on anxiety and what not. I find it hard to approach girls due to this, any tips?

[sarg1010]

Well, I guess I'll post this here. I'm 17, turning 18 in a few months. I have Tourette's Syndrom, and the main tic that I have causes me to jerk my head around. It happens quite frequently, probably anywhere between 5-10 times a minute depending on how bad it gets based on anxiety and what not. I find it hard to approach girls due to this, any tips?

Honestly I wouldn't let it get in the way if I were you. If you have a nice personality, just play it off like it doesn't bother you. "Yea I have Tourette's, oh well." Be confident regardless of it. If anything, laugh it off if it embarrasses you. My two cents anyway.

[Iamdan]

Eggs if you send me a reminder pm so ill get it when I go home on the weekend, ill send you a link about a legless bloke who is successful with women.

[RpgGamer]

Conquering a disability, or a social handicap like that is not only an impressive feat, but a rather attractive one. Like Josh Blue. Yeah, he has no control over his one arm, and he has cerebral palsy, but he's a damn fine comedian and is great with people.

[superson]

Well, I guess I'll post this here. I'm 17, turning 18 in a few months. I have Tourette's Syndrom, and the main tic that I have causes me to jerk my head around. It happens quite frequently, probably anywhere between 5-10 times a minute depending on how bad it gets based on anxiety and what not. I find it hard to approach girls due to this, any tips?

 

Tell girls about it straight off, if you find one you are interested in. If they're worth it, it won't bother them at all. Experienced as a 17, turning 18 in a few months male with Tourette's Syndrome that includes facial and vocal tics (not swearing) that vary based on anxiety :shades: .

 

I told a girl I liked about my Tourette's the first day we hung out, and we've been going out for 7 months. It is really a non-issue, completely. If anything, it has gotten a bit better since I've been dating her, because having someone non-family who understands about it is really important.

 

But yeah, the most important thing is to tell them. Hell, tell anybody you know really, because people only think that Tourette's is weird when they don't know it's Tourette's, and think it's just a person twitching. As soon as they know what it is they stop noticing it, because they realize it doesn't really affect who a person is at all.

[superson]

Double post :wall:

Edited April 13, 2011 by superson

[My_Eggs]

Thanks for the support guys. And yeah, my two really close friends have told me that they don't really even notice it anymore (not that it doesn't happen, they just don't pay any mind to it).

[Shiny]

My closest friend has tourettes, and it is seriously not an issue and I don't notice it. Play it cool, be yourself and things should be fine.

[Silvertaler]

It's been a week and I still didn't get to see her. She was ill last week so she didn't come most days, and when she was there I couldn't find her. I feel slightly discouraged now but I'm still going to ask her out. Tomorrow I'm sure to meet her unless something bad happens so I just want to confirm I'm not going to sound wrong.

 

Basically I'm just going to be straight, gonna say hi and all that, very quickly re-introduce myself as the guy who's in the same sports class as her at school, and then I'll tell her something in the lines of "i generally don't do this, but i'd be disappointed about myself if I didn't come ask you this, would you like come for a coffee sometime when you're free?", and that's it. Then it's all about what she replies, and if she says yes it's gonna be dead easy from there on.

 

She's gonna feel happy if I'm honnest about it, isn't she?

[Omar]

It's been a week and I still didn't get to see her. She was ill last week so she didn't come most days, and when she was there I couldn't find her. I feel slightly discouraged now but I'm still going to ask her out. Tomorrow I'm sure to meet her unless something bad happens so I just want to confirm I'm not going to sound wrong.

 

Basically I'm just going to be straight, gonna say hi and all that, very quickly re-introduce myself as the guy who's in the same sports class as her at school, and then I'll tell her something in the lines of "i generally don't do this, but i'd be disappointed about myself if I didn't come ask you this, would you like come for a coffee sometime when you're free?", and that's it. Then it's all about what she replies, and if she says yes it's gonna be dead easy from there on.

 

She's gonna feel happy if I'm honnest about it, isn't she?

Don't make a school presentation out of yourself, she knows you're in her sports class probably. But other than that you've got the idea. She won't necessarily be happy if you're direct, but she'll certainly appreciate, i.e. she won't be unhappy

[Da_Latios]

Tell girls about it straight off, if you find one you are interested in. If they're worth it, it won't bother them at all. Experienced as a 17, turning 18 in a few months male with Tourette's Syndrome that includes facial and vocal tics (not swearing) that vary based on anxiety :shades:

I bet you'd suck at poker tournaments.

[Silvertaler]

It's been a week and I still didn't get to see her. She was ill last week so she didn't come most days, and when she was there I couldn't find her. I feel slightly discouraged now but I'm still going to ask her out. Tomorrow I'm sure to meet her unless something bad happens so I just want to confirm I'm not going to sound wrong.

 

Basically I'm just going to be straight, gonna say hi and all that, very quickly re-introduce myself as the guy who's in the same sports class as her at school, and then I'll tell her something in the lines of "i generally don't do this, but i'd be disappointed about myself if I didn't come ask you this, would you like come for a coffee sometime when you're free?", and that's it. Then it's all about what she replies, and if she says yes it's gonna be dead easy from there on.

 

She's gonna feel happy if I'm honnest about it, isn't she?

Don't make a school presentation out of yourself, she knows you're in her sports class probably. But other than that you've got the idea. She won't necessarily be happy if you're direct, but she'll certainly appreciate, i.e. she won't be unhappy

That's reassuring, thanks.

[Omar]

That's reassuring, thanks.

Go get 'er.

[Silvertaler]

Today I went and did it. At the wrong time probably, she was going to class and I met her at the stairs, was a bit crowded. I told her that. I was incredibly nervous, I even forgot to tell her who I was. She looked at me, clearly confused herself. I was fighting my fear really hard and my lips were shaking, but I tried to smile. Then she told me she would tell me what she decided later, starting to go away. I said ok and turned around, almost fleeing. For a few seconds, I didn't think at all. Nothing. I was under the shock. Then the first thing I thought was that I felt ashamed of what I had just done, I felt hatred towards myself, and I thought she ment "no". I went outside take some air and just blamed myself. I never felt so ashamed. I may have told her what I wanted to say, without interruptions or "ummms" but I was so obviously nervous I took it for a failure.

 

Now I wonder if I will ask her what she thinks after all.. or if I'll take it for a no and forget about it... I feel awkward. I feel like I'm having a nightmare and that none of this is real, this is just beyond me.

 

EDIT: K so she skipped sports class and I didn't see her. I think she's probably feeling uneasy about all this and prefered to avoid me. But it's also been two or three times she doesn't come to this class. If the first possibility is true then this is kinda bad I guess...

 

I really don't know what to think. She told me she'd tell me later while she was going away. At first I thought she was fleeing but, at the same time it happened at the stairs when classes were beginning.. she was getting a bit pushed by the crowd and all, couldn't stay there either. Was a pretty bad place. So I don't really know. I need some advice cause I'm going paranoid here, please.

 

Should I perhaps add her on Facebook now and ask her? Or should I go ask her personally again tomorrow?

[Hobgoblinpie]

Firstly, calm down. You've got analysis paralysis, and it doesn't come off well.

 

When making any interaction, just relax and be calm. If you're nervous, it'll be obvious, and it's very rarely (if ever) that women are attracted to nervous guys.

 

Secondly, Don't add her on facebook now. Don't personally ask her again tomorrow. This will come across as obsession, and you don't want to look like a stalker or just generally obsessive (obsession turns into being clingy, and no-one wants that).

 

Don't mention it again. If you do, you'll make it awkward for her, which she may again take as obsession. If you care about her, you'll try your damn best to not make it awkward at all. If she doesn't mention it at all, and is fine around you in general, then stick with that.

 

Someone will have to say it, but you've hit a brick wall with this particular female. Best thing to do would be to cut your losses.

[RpgGamer]

Yeah dude, let it ride. You did what you could, now the ball's in her court. if she takes anymore than a week, you're allowed to flip out on her though for making you feel like an idiot lol