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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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So, skipping all the BIG details, I'll jump to the point.

 

I have been dating my girlfriend for 5 months. I was a rebound. She was having a relationship with another guy, and when they broke up, that's when we first started talking, and 17 days later, we started to date.

 

She talks to him daily and if you didn't know that we were going out, you'd assume they were dating.

She gets mad at me for assuming it but..

I think I have a right to assume because she has broken my trust with broken promises in the past.

 

Do I have a right to get upset over her talking to him so much? I mean.. I'm fine with them being friends but, it hurts to know that they used to have a very good relationship and I was a rebound.

 

It's that feeling of emptiness. Especially since that guy was my best friend who helped me through things from 6th - 7th grade. We haven't talked without both of our tempers starting to flare.

 

Help...? Thank you.

 

You're dating your best friend's ex?

How do you think he feels? jesus.

 

I say cool it, because she's probably not going to drive a knife between the two of you by doing anything with him while being with you. Unless she's that kind of girl. And he's that type of guy. Then you have every right to be worried. Which is the cost of not only being a rebound...but being the best friend of the guy she left before you. Talk to your buddy. I'd start off with an apology.

 

No no no no no. We USED to be best friends. Since high school started, even before I started dating my girlfriend, we hated each other for personal reasons.

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What's done is done. The best thing you can do is go on. There's not much else you can do to be honest.

 

As for me, my luck just doesn't exist. I'm not even sure what to do anymore.

I was going to eat hot dogs for dinner tonight. I think I will settle for cereal.

 

OPEN WIDE HERE COMES THE HELICOPTER.

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as all of my hook ups and potential future relationships seem to be crumbling before me in the wake of my 40 hour work weekends and my school schedule, my ex comes to me with the proposition that she will be moving [in all likelyhood] to the other half of her family about 10 hours southward. It was then I realized I missed her. Life.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Dan is in love after 7 months with her. (8 if you include the time not being exclusive, 8 and a half from meeting her if you include courting.)

Attaboy. Jett's pushing himself out of love, after knowing her for a year and a half.

 

EDIT: Oh yeah, I never told you guys my story. Meh. Obviously didn't work out, but I think it was a good experience.

EDIT 2: Or my real name. More meh.

catch it now so you can like it before it went so mainstream

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Dan is in love after 7 months with her. (8 if you include the time not being exclusive, 8 and a half from meeting her if you include courting.)

Dan... in love!? Nice :D

So I've been in a fairly new relationship ( 5 weeks together) and I really felt close to the girl for only being together for that little of time. A lot closer then I did with my past gf. I think I also let my guard down with my girlfriend now because her feelings towards me seemed mutual. Anyways she went to Mexico ( where she's from and has a lot of family) for spring break . The day of her leaving we spent a nice time together, and it really looked as if our relationship and feelings for each other would be just as strong after her short one week break.

Today school started again and I got to see her again and communicate with her for the first time in 10 days. I see her and instantly hug her, she keeps her arms down and that is when I start to feel that her feelings for me have lost their "energy". She talks about how great Mexico was, and how its so much better then being here. Also she starts counting down till she leaves to Mexico again for the summer... all the while i'm realizing how much I missed having this girl talk to me. Later in the day I can tell when shes around me she is biting her nails more than usual ( she does when she is nervous), she also seems very disconnected from me, it was the first time I ever seen her like that. Her kisses today felt un-passionate.

I text her asking if anything is wrong, if maybe I was something just stressing her out, that when she went to Mexico she got to be away from the stress and realizes that she doesn't want/need me right now. She said "maybe... I was just surprised that I didn't miss you". I knew it... though she later refutes that thing about me stressing her out and says that its not true. Anyways... we text a bit more going a way from the subject of our relationship until she texted me goodnight with a smiley face while I send her goodnight back without the usual smiley face. Naturally she asks whats wrong, I tell her the truth : One part of me is really scared about our relationship ending while the other is trying to calmly accept anything that will come my way ( the first part seems to be winning btw). She told me that honestly she doesn't know if we will break up or not. She needs to wait and see how she feels cause "her mind is still in Mexico". It seems like when life is all nice and relaxing in Mexico then I'm not needed nor missed. But when she gets all stressed over school and other every-day stuff then I'm "liked" and wanted. :unsure:

Well there is my spilling of events for today...I'll see how things go tomorrow :P

tl;dr: High school emotions and relationships= :wall:

99 Hunter - November 1st, 2008

99 Cooking -July 22nd, 2009

99 Firemaking - July 29th, 2010

99 Fletching - December 30th, 2010

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So we did break up. She lost feelings for me, just like I had with my past gf. Feels like karma just came back to drop a [cabbage] bomb on me. I think what makes this harder for me is the fact that this girl is the first one I did anything sexual with, and she told me we would do so many things ( non-sexual and sexual) after break... She comes back and its all gone. False hopes ftl <_<

99 Hunter - November 1st, 2008

99 Cooking -July 22nd, 2009

99 Firemaking - July 29th, 2010

99 Fletching - December 30th, 2010

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If it makes you feel better, my ex was the same. When I lost my virginity to her she'd always talk about places to have sex, going out, enjoying life etc etc. month later on Vals' day she drops the "Im over you" bomb right on me. :| (that was 2 years ago)

Popoto.~<3

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If it makes you feel better, my ex was the same. When I lost my virginity to her she'd always talk about places to have sex, going out, enjoying life etc etc. month later on Vals' day she drops the "Im over you" bomb right on me. :| (that was 2 years ago)

Yea, sounds alot like my ( now ex) gf. At least we both opened up a lot in the 1 month we were together.... so shes not a girl that I will just stop talking to completely like I did with my other ex.

99 Hunter - November 1st, 2008

99 Cooking -July 22nd, 2009

99 Firemaking - July 29th, 2010

99 Fletching - December 30th, 2010

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I'm just wondering how long it'll possibly be before I'm emotionally stable again with anyone... Since last year when I broke up with my ex I have been trying to cut emotion out of my life just because I'd rather get rid of it than deal with it, a cowards way I guess. Also this has lead to some unexpected complications - namely a breakdown or so every other month. I'm currently midbreakdown as I write this so forgive the bleak nature of it, then again the last one was much worse with my carving into myself.... And yes I do mean self harming.

 

Now, I've talked to real life friends and a few of them say to me that they think it's the lonliness getting to me and that I should really see someone, because each breakdown I get worse in terms of self hatred, and emotional instability. I just wondered what you guys would say. And also I'm just unsure atm if I could ever commit to a relationship without screwing it up somehow.

 

But yeah, how do I sort out being so emotionally unstable?

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7d95f5db02.png

Reacting impulsively and saying what's on your mind feels oh so good.. for a little, until you realize you just started WWIII.


2672nd person to reach 2496 total.
Thanks to Wicked for the awesome siggy :D

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I'm just wondering how long it'll possibly be before I'm emotionally stable again with anyone... Since last year when I broke up with my ex I have been trying to cut emotion out of my life just because I'd rather get rid of it than deal with it, a cowards way I guess. Also this has lead to some unexpected complications - namely a breakdown or so every other month. I'm currently midbreakdown as I write this so forgive the bleak nature of it, then again the last one was much worse with my carving into myself.... And yes I do mean self harming.

 

Now, I've talked to real life friends and a few of them say to me that they think it's the lonliness getting to me and that I should really see someone, because each breakdown I get worse in terms of self hatred, and emotional instability. I just wondered what you guys would say. And also I'm just unsure atm if I could ever commit to a relationship without screwing it up somehow.

 

But yeah, how do I sort out being so emotionally unstable?

I'm in the opposite camp, I don't have much emotion in me at all.

 

As for the emotional stability, have you got a way to vent? Perhaps someone to talk with?

Steam | PM me for BBM PIN

 

Nine naked men is a technological achievement. Quote of 2013.

 

PCGamingWiki - Let's fix PC gaming!

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I'm just wondering how long it'll possibly be before I'm emotionally stable again with anyone... Since last year when I broke up with my ex I have been trying to cut emotion out of my life just because I'd rather get rid of it than deal with it, a cowards way I guess. Also this has lead to some unexpected complications - namely a breakdown or so every other month. I'm currently midbreakdown as I write this so forgive the bleak nature of it, then again the last one was much worse with my carving into myself.... And yes I do mean self harming.

 

Now, I've talked to real life friends and a few of them say to me that they think it's the lonliness getting to me and that I should really see someone, because each breakdown I get worse in terms of self hatred, and emotional instability. I just wondered what you guys would say. And also I'm just unsure atm if I could ever commit to a relationship without screwing it up somehow.

 

But yeah, how do I sort out being so emotionally unstable?

I'm in the opposite camp, I don't have much emotion in me at all.

 

As for the emotional stability, have you got a way to vent? Perhaps someone to talk with?

 

I don't either now I guess.... Or not as much as I did.

 

And the last time I vented my friends were worried sick about me because I spent days just cutting into my arms... I would talk to them, but they've heard it all before and don't need me burdening them.

34gU8.png

ezk120dg_zps0de40221.png

zP2k8Ej.png

7d95f5db02.png

Reacting impulsively and saying what's on your mind feels oh so good.. for a little, until you realize you just started WWIII.


2672nd person to reach 2496 total.
Thanks to Wicked for the awesome siggy :D

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I don't either now I guess.... Or not as much as I did.

 

And the last time I vented my friends were worried sick about me because I spent days just cutting into my arms... I would talk to them, but they've heard it all before and don't need me burdening them.

That's not going to help you out. Your friends are there to vent to, it's not burdening them and they might be able to help you with your problem. You might even be able to help with theirs. Should that fail, a hobby is another great way.

Steam | PM me for BBM PIN

 

Nine naked men is a technological achievement. Quote of 2013.

 

PCGamingWiki - Let's fix PC gaming!

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I'm just wondering how long it'll possibly be before I'm emotionally stable again with anyone... Since last year when I broke up with my ex I have been trying to cut emotion out of my life just because I'd rather get rid of it than deal with it, a cowards way I guess. Also this has lead to some unexpected complications - namely a breakdown or so every other month. I'm currently midbreakdown as I write this so forgive the bleak nature of it, then again the last one was much worse with my carving into myself.... And yes I do mean self harming.

 

Now, I've talked to real life friends and a few of them say to me that they think it's the lonliness getting to me and that I should really see someone, because each breakdown I get worse in terms of self hatred, and emotional instability. I just wondered what you guys would say. And also I'm just unsure atm if I could ever commit to a relationship without screwing it up somehow.

 

But yeah, how do I sort out being so emotionally unstable?

 

Let it out man, dno't bottle anything up. Find something stable in your life and commit to it. Not a person. A job. A sport. A hobby. something real, and concrete. Not a relationship. I in fact discourage you from even thinking about relationships until you find yourself in a happier place. I recommend joining a "BS" sport with some friends and just mess around. Its a great time no matter how you feel

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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I'm just wondering how long it'll possibly be before I'm emotionally stable again with anyone... Since last year when I broke up with my ex I have been trying to cut emotion out of my life just because I'd rather get rid of it than deal with it, a cowards way I guess. Also this has lead to some unexpected complications - namely a breakdown or so every other month. I'm currently midbreakdown as I write this so forgive the bleak nature of it, then again the last one was much worse with my carving into myself.... And yes I do mean self harming.

 

Now, I've talked to real life friends and a few of them say to me that they think it's the lonliness getting to me and that I should really see someone, because each breakdown I get worse in terms of self hatred, and emotional instability. I just wondered what you guys would say. And also I'm just unsure atm if I could ever commit to a relationship without screwing it up somehow.

 

But yeah, how do I sort out being so emotionally unstable?

I'm in the opposite camp, I don't have much emotion in me at all.

 

As for the emotional stability, have you got a way to vent? Perhaps someone to talk with?

 

I don't either now I guess.... Or not as much as I did.

 

And the last time I vented my friends were worried sick about me because I spent days just cutting into my arms... I would talk to them, but they've heard it all before and don't need me burdening them.

 

 

 

I used to be like this, but for different reasons (i too was a cutter). Whom ever said a hobby, i would also suggest this. If you feel like you burden them tell them, it may help you feel better if you hear it from them that it's not a burden. If you can't do that find something that you can release your feelings too, a journal, art something expressive.

 

By learning how to cope with feelings of depression (or others) it's easier then to become more stable.

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I've been feeling down a lot lately, which allowed some interesting discussion with a good friend (maybe my only true friend) and lots of thinking. While my problem didn't directly or indirectly touch the topic of relationships, I believe it applies to almost everything which regards seeking happiness.

 

To all the people who come in here being "average", regular guys, fairly insecure, a bit needy, with a little crush on someone, we say "Be more confident! Go get her, samurai!". That's the way to do it: project the personality of a man who knows what he is doing, has done it before, is comfortable in his life, and is just counting down until he gets his [bleep] sucked -- put simply, to be everything they are not, and everything that would make someone less, rather than more, likely to come in here asking for advice.

Now, I'm not advocating we start telling people to just be themselves. Clearly, in and of itself, it hasn't been working. Many people who come in here don't want partners like themselves. They want Don Draper or Helen of Troy or something.

But at the same time, they can't just be confident, just at a snap of their fingers. They can't pretend; it shows through. And you can tell a guy that other people's opinions of him doesn't really matter, only his own does; you can tell him someone's going to make fun of him, no matter who he is and what he does; you can tell him all sorts of very wise things; not one is going to stand in the face of judgment or failure, and whatever he built will prove to be laid on a weak foundation. I've seen two people go through it, one of them being me.

 

What we need to tell people is to become proud of themselves. That's the foundation for the "alpha" behaviour we recommend. It shouldn't come on its own; that's called acting. It should come from pride in achievements.

 

I've said it before: I think (or at least I hope) everyone has a passion, or maybe several, waiting to be discovered. I'm fascinated by many things, music possibly being the main one. This passion must be found for every single one of us. It must be pursued, because once we find what we love to shine in, we finally fully adhere to those proverbs which we thought true but never managed to live by completely. Maybe, when I am done composing and recording the EP I'm working on with my friends, I'll be proud of what I'll have done. Maybe, I will understand why what other people think doesn't matter: it's because that's not what matters, that's not what makes me happy. What makes me happy is making music. And when I'll be proud of that, I'll be less insecure, I'll be more confident, I'll know what I'm doing, I'll have done it before, I'll be comfortable in my life, and I'll be counting down to get my [bleep] sucked.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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I feel like I'm over Ellen. I can think of her and see her now without feeling bad. I feel like I'm back in the game already - and I thank you guys for your support.

 

I've been talking to one girl (Tasmin) - I've asked her if she wanted to go shopping with me next weekend and she said she'd like to if she's free - what can I do to perhaps take this further? We go to the same school, and I got her number too.

2257AD.TUMBLR.COM

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I feel like I'm over Ellen. I can think of her and see her now without feeling bad. I feel like I'm back in the game already - and I thank you guys for your support.

 

I've been talking to one girl (Tasmin) - I've asked her if she wanted to go shopping with me next weekend and she said she'd like to if she's free - what can I do to perhaps take this further? We go to the same school, and I got her number too.

 

Before you try and pursue anything further see how your first "date" goes.

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Definitely see how it goes first. If it does go good, invite her to something that you're going to that she might like to go to.

Steam | PM me for BBM PIN

 

Nine naked men is a technological achievement. Quote of 2013.

 

PCGamingWiki - Let's fix PC gaming!

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I'm chilling with a few bros here at my house next weekend, so I'll see if she'd like to come to that, if all goes to plan.

 

Thanks guys.

2257AD.TUMBLR.COM

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@Ezkaton

 

Since I ended my last relationship I've felt pretty down, and I did have a breakdown quite recently. What i've found it boils down to is holding my emotion in and not speaking to anyone. I basically spoke to my closest friend about it, and she gave me the comfort of just listening to what I had to say, and give me her advice.

 

Since then I've felt better. For me at least, just being around someone I can trust and love platonically really improves my happiness. While it may seem obvious, I chose not to speak to her about it because she recently split up with her boyfriend (also one of my housemates), but we just had a chat about ourselves to each other.

 

So, whilst it will hurt, it's also a good idea to just talk to your friends. Most romantic relationships people have won't last forever, but friendships should.

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I can only find girls who have schedules that conflict 100% with my own.

 

frustration is over 9000

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Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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