"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Surprise]

Disappointed? Really? I'm sorry but something is off with your girlfriend; I still stand by the point that maybe she is showing you the door in the most [cabbage]ty way possible.

You can't expect to understand someone who's in that situation. Besides, when you have no support from your parents, your best bet is to go somewhere else. Breaking up with your boyfriend defies that logic.

 

Defies the logic, in the sense that you will lose support? Fair enough, point taken but she's been pushing him away. Everytime he tries to help her and give her support she seems to act like she doesn't want it.

 

It just doesn't add up to me but i'm a rational person and this situation isn't exactly rational.

[Omar]

It's likely because she knows if anything doesn't go as planned she'll be the one taking damage. In this situation:

- he writes an apology

- parents somehow get angry

- she's the one who'll take the consequences

 

Her parents aren't reacting rationally, so she probably doesn't want to take risks. Just my two cents though, I wouldn't know.

[TTanT]

Well, it turns out part of the issue was that she thought her depression was ruining my life. So, after convincing her that she'd actually made me less of a [puncture], less judgemental, and happier in general, I think we've made some major progress.* She had to go to the store with her parents, but when she gets back, I'll work out with her the apology letter and our plan of attack.

So yeah, things've improved.

 

*And no, she doesn't want to break up with me, or if she does she's the best actor I've ever seen. We still exchange all the mushy couple stuff that you guys probably don't want to hear whenevr we part or meet, and she initiates it as much as I. And I don't think you can tell someone you love them on a regular basis without prodding and actually want nothing to do with them.

[Surprise]

Well, it turns out part of the issue was that she thought her depression was ruining my life. So, after convincing her that she'd actually made me less of a [puncture], less judgemental, and happier in general, I think we've made some major progress.* She had to go to the store with her parents, but when she gets back, I'll work out with her the apology letter and our plan of attack.

So yeah, things've improved.

 

*And no, she doesn't want to break up with me, or if she does she's the best actor I've ever seen. We still exchange all the mushy couple stuff that you guys probably don't want to hear whenevr we part or meet, and she initiates it as much as I. And I don't think you can tell someone you love them on a regular basis without prodding and actually want nothing to do with them.

 

Or that yes, she doesn't want to hurt you. My apologies, i'm currently going through a stage where I see the worst in people. Really need to stop this.

 

Can I ask, have you actually done something wrong for this letter to be written or are you just doing it for the sake of your relationship?

[TTanT]

Well, it turns out part of the issue was that she thought her depression was ruining my life. So, after convincing her that she'd actually made me less of a [puncture], less judgemental, and happier in general, I think we've made some major progress.* She had to go to the store with her parents, but when she gets back, I'll work out with her the apology letter and our plan of attack.

So yeah, things've improved.

 

*And no, she doesn't want to break up with me, or if she does she's the best actor I've ever seen. We still exchange all the mushy couple stuff that you guys probably don't want to hear whenevr we part or meet, and she initiates it as much as I. And I don't think you can tell someone you love them on a regular basis without prodding and actually want nothing to do with them.

 

Or that yes, she doesn't want to hurt you. My apologies, i'm currently going through a stage where I see the worst in people. Really need to stop this.

 

Can I ask, have you actually done something wrong for this letter to be written or are you just doing it for the sake of your relationship?

 

I'm pretty good at telling when she's lying, but I doubt I can convince you either way.

 

Well, her parents logged onto ehr account while we were chatting and thus overheard me ranting about how they sucked as aprents, how much my parents hated them (untrue, but I felt like having allies), and how much they sucked in egenral. I was doping this to cheer ehr up and ebcause I was angry at them for screaming at her for basically no reason.

 

I don't think I was really in the wrong, as they should never have eavesdropped on our personal conversation, but I also understand why they now dislike me for insulting them.

[Orpheus]

Well, it turns out part of the issue was that she thought her depression was ruining my life. So, after convincing her that she'd actually made me less of a [puncture], less judgemental, and happier in general, I think we've made some major progress.* She had to go to the store with her parents, but when she gets back, I'll work out with her the apology letter and our plan of attack.

So yeah, things've improved.

 

*And no, she doesn't want to break up with me, or if she does she's the best actor I've ever seen. We still exchange all the mushy couple stuff that you guys probably don't want to hear whenevr we part or meet, and she initiates it as much as I. And I don't think you can tell someone you love them on a regular basis without prodding and actually want nothing to do with them.

 

Or that yes, she doesn't want to hurt you. My apologies, i'm currently going through a stage where I see the worst in people. Really need to stop this.

 

Can I ask, have you actually done something wrong for this letter to be written or are you just doing it for the sake of your relationship?

 

I'm pretty good at telling when she's lying, but I doubt I can convince you either way.

 

Well, her parents logged onto ehr account while we were chatting and thus overheard me ranting about how they sucked as aprents, how much my parents hated them (untrue, but I felt like having allies), and how much they sucked in egenral. I was doping this to cheer ehr up and ebcause I was angry at them for screaming at her for basically no reason.

 

I don't think I was really in the wrong, as they should never have eavesdropped on our personal conversation, but I also understand why they now dislike me for insulting them.

 

You should have also added that the KKK, Westboro Baptist Church, and Al-Qaeda wouldn't want anything to do with them. Show that even evil has standards. This could theoretically backfire, but still. Either way, the way you've been cutting the parents, the seem to fall as being of the Lawful Evil alignment, alongside groups like WBC, knight templars, and corrupt judges.

[Surprise]

Well, it turns out part of the issue was that she thought her depression was ruining my life. So, after convincing her that she'd actually made me less of a [puncture], less judgemental, and happier in general, I think we've made some major progress.* She had to go to the store with her parents, but when she gets back, I'll work out with her the apology letter and our plan of attack.

So yeah, things've improved.

 

*And no, she doesn't want to break up with me, or if she does she's the best actor I've ever seen. We still exchange all the mushy couple stuff that you guys probably don't want to hear whenevr we part or meet, and she initiates it as much as I. And I don't think you can tell someone you love them on a regular basis without prodding and actually want nothing to do with them.

 

Or that yes, she doesn't want to hurt you. My apologies, i'm currently going through a stage where I see the worst in people. Really need to stop this.

 

Can I ask, have you actually done something wrong for this letter to be written or are you just doing it for the sake of your relationship?

 

I'm pretty good at telling when she's lying, but I doubt I can convince you either way.

 

Well, her parents logged onto ehr account while we were chatting and thus overheard me ranting about how they sucked as aprents, how much my parents hated them (untrue, but I felt like having allies), and how much they sucked in egenral. I was doping this to cheer ehr up and ebcause I was angry at them for screaming at her for basically no reason.

 

I don't think I was really in the wrong, as they should never have eavesdropped on our personal conversation, but I also understand why they now dislike me for insulting them.

 

You should have also added that the KKK, Westboro Baptist Church, and Al-Qaeda wouldn't want anything to do with them. Show that even evil has standards. This could theoretically backfire, but still. Either way, the way you've been cutting the parents, the seem to fall as being of the Lawful Evil alignment, alongside groups like WBC, knight templars, and corrupt judges.

 

I struggle to see what that could've gained, it would've more than likely left them even more pissed off.

 

Regarding the letter, don't set a limit to it. Write a plan and then wait until you're are in a creative mood or full of thoughts and then write it out. If you say i'm writing "3 pages" you will force yourself to write it and the quality of the letter will degrade quickly as you will soon run out of points and will just draw it out. Also don't accidentley lace your words with thoughts of ill intent as the last thing you want is for them to start inferring from your letter that you hate them. Simply because all your hard work will just be thrown out the window.

 

"Quality not Quantity," a good phrase for any written task.

[aeternitatis]

Pretty [cabbage]ty situation I'm in...

 

I want to break up with my girlfriend of a year and a half. I've known all along that we don't match but I stayed with her because I was a shy guy and thought she was the best I could get. She's madly in love with me though... she relies on me. I used to feel the same way about her but now I want to move on with my life and stop having all these limitations.

 

The real problem is that she has been depressed for the past month or so, crying every day, contemplating suicide (90% sure she wouldn't) and now she's staying at the hospital overnight because she wants help. Her dad has colon cancer and she handles stress very badly, and we're both in our last semester of HS. We have the same classes and the projects keep piling up.

 

I feel trapped, but I really want to get out of the relationship. I don't want me breaking up with her to add onto the stress/depression... I've been helping her out any way I can but I really don't want to; not because I don't care, but because I don't want it to be such a shock when I end it. I don't want to push her over 'the edge' and make things worse... What the hell am I supposed to do? I've been thinking wait it out but it's so hard to help her out because I know it's only going to make the break-up hurt her more.

 

The [bleep] do I do? |:

[Iamdan]

End it. Waiting will just make it even worse than what youve done to her for the last year and a half. It will suck but she will be stronger for it. Depending on the situation you may want to cut contact with her, but get her professional help.

[The_Gabe]

Pretty [cabbage]ty situation I'm in...

 

I want to break up with my girlfriend of a year and a half. I've known all along that we don't match but I stayed with her because I was a shy guy and thought she was the best I could get. She's madly in love with me though... she relies on me. I used to feel the same way about her but now I want to move on with my life and stop having all these limitations.

 

The real problem is that she has been depressed for the past month or so, crying every day, contemplating suicide (90% sure she wouldn't) and now she's staying at the hospital overnight because she wants help. Her dad has colon cancer and she handles stress very badly, and we're both in our last semester of HS. We have the same classes and the projects keep piling up.

 

I feel trapped, but I really want to get out of the relationship. I don't want me breaking up with her to add onto the stress/depression... I've been helping her out any way I can but I really don't want to; not because I don't care, but because I don't want it to be such a shock when I end it. I don't want to push her over 'the edge' and make things worse... What the hell am I supposed to do? I've been thinking wait it out but it's so hard to help her out because I know it's only going to make the break-up hurt her more.

 

The [bleep] do I do? |:

 

Wait it out until high school is over and tell her that long distance relationships won't work.

[aeternitatis]

Yeah I'm thinking of waiting until HS is over... we're in all the same classes, sitting beside each other, lockers beside each other... I still have to think it over.

[Surprise]

Is there somebody else? Because if there is end it now.

 

Well end it soonish anyway around, in the long term dragging it out will only hurt her more.

[Iamdan]

Its not your job to baby her through life. Youre just screwing her over more by waiting.

[blaah]

Maybe try detaching yourself gradually. The relationship won't completely die, but if you get her to be more independent and less reliant on you, along with not going out of your way for her, when it does end, she'll be able to look back and say oh, I guess it hasn't been all that great lately anyway. She'll still realize it all at once, but it might help for her to see it's been a long time coming.

[Omar]

Wait it out until high school is over and tell her that long distance relationships won't work.

I don't have any advice, but don't cop out.

[RpgGamer]

I want to say waiting until HS is over would be best, but honestly that only makes it easier for you, but her end remains the same.

 

I'd personally wait til HS is over, but I'd say that ending it immediately would probably be best overall

[PurpleCrayon]

She sounds like she's really lost her [cabbage] and having a hell of a tough time at the moment, even if she's amazingly dramatic about it and possibly just crying out for help with her suicide ideation and thoughts I think given you've been together for quite awhile you owe her that much to make sure she's mentally stable as possible before you give her the flick.

She sounds like a loose cannon and yeah, 90% chance she won't do it but there's still a chance and I don't think you should risk it. I know there's so much support you can give her and she's being a needy pain in the ass but just try wait till schools finished or at least till she gets her results back and her dad is ok.

You mentioned you don't want it to be a shock when you end it..well if you did it right now when [cabbage] has truly hit the fan it will crush her. Wait till things are smoother in her life so she can handle it more. Now is not the time.

[httpBen]

General protip: If you can really mean it, say "I love you" as often as possible. It's the most amazing thing in the world to hear.

[Orpheus]

General protip: If you can really mean it, say "I love you" as often as possible. It's the most amazing thing in the world to hear.

It's not bad, but over-doing it can be worse arguably.

 

As for the dude nearing the end of HS, I'd wait until the end of the semester. Either way, don't cop out.

[tripsis]

This thread lives!

[Tim]

I have a love for marshmellows yet cannot afford them, what should I do? (It never stated WHAT relationship ;) )

[httpBen]

Explain to marshmellows that you do love them, but just can't afford a relationship with them right now. Put the ball in their court. Then they have the option of lowering their price, or possibly losing you forever.

 

:P

[Surprise]

General protip: If you can really mean it, say "I love you" as often as possible. It's the most amazing thing in the world to hear.

 

Yes, amazing thing to hear; However, don't throw it around at every given opportunity, it dilutes it and removes the specialness of the word and will probably start irritating people. Which to be fair has happened a lot with the current generation of teenagers, they go into a relationship and by the end of the week are declaring love when they are usually just lusting with their genitalia.

[httpBen]

That's why I said "if you can really mean it".

 

And I know you can over-use it, but I'd rather someone say it too much than never say it at all. And common sense can solve the over-using problem pretty easily.

[Surprise]

That's why I said "if you can really mean it".

 

And I know you can over-use it, but I'd rather someone say it too much than never say it at all. And common sense can solve the over-using problem pretty easily.

 

But what happens when the person realises that you like them saying it and instead of saying it because they mean it they are saying it just to make you happy?

 

Yes I'm being extremely negative but being on the recieving end of this scenario it's not a fun place to be. Also, falling out of love severly dampens your appreciation for that emotion.