"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[foursideking]

Lol...giordano clearly in the 'under 17' age group. Getting laid isn't the most important thing in the world. If it was, then pam anderson would be undisputed ruler of all, and mormon would be the penultimate religion (due to men being allowed multiple wives). I guess the true question is 'is love more important than boinging?'. If you answer yes, then you clearly see how something that lasts forever is worth more than something that can easily be destroyed.

If you chose no, then you clearly have problems...

[Omar]

boinging

lol

 

But seriously, Giordano's not that kind of guy, I think he was being ironic.

[RpgGamer]

 

If you chose no, then you clearly have problems...

 

Are you implying the desire for sex is a sign of mental instability? Because that's just close-minded.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I think he was referring to the idea that, past a certain age (when it loses its 'behind the shop counter' status) sex for the sake of having sex becomes less important than being part of a stable and loving relationship with another person.

 

Not really finding much to disagree with there. Most people want sex, it's just more meaningful when it's with someone you care deeply for. I guess the whole point of dating when you're 13-17 is so you know what works later on.

 

Even so, trying to get with someone just to lose virginity is pretty shallow. Certainly I wouldn't think any higher of you for achieving it. Probably the reverse, actually.

[Giordano]

But seriously, Giordano's not that kind of guy, I think he was being ironic.

Yes I was. If I thought that then I'm a big loser. :sad: And I have self-confidence!!11

 

A partner in the later years seems more for survival and companionship rather than love. Dying old and alone must be terrible.

[Lenticular_J]

My virginity is currently worth more than $500. My brother, my brother's friends, my friends, and other members of my family think that I will have sex before the summer of 2012 (my graduation is actually the end date). I said LOL COLLEGE FUND FTW. My only support is a sexy asian girl.

 

I find this extremely relevant, and I'll tell you why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44CDK-PPgHQ

 

"I'm gonna take my tiiiiiiiime"

Patience is a virtue.

"She gon get hers before I"

Selflessness.

"I'm gonna take it sloooooow"

Seriously.

The next rest of the song is just about sex, though. But really, Snoop knows what he's talking about. And I want a legitimate reason to use this song, dammit.

 

EDIT: Actually, real music video might be a bit too risque.

 

How're you guys?

[Iamdan]

ou could try for wry self depreciation

 

Yeah, don't do this. If you must, be careful with it.

 

Self deprecation jokes can work against you in the same way that sex role play jokes can work for you.

 

The funny self deprecating dancing monkey is entertaining and girls will hang around him, but they won't be attracted to him.

[Tim]

 

If you chose no, then you clearly have problems...

 

Are you implying the desire for sex is a sign of mental instability? Because that's just close-minded.

It can cause mental instability, Im a prime example.

[Iamdan]

I found a perfect spot to take a girl. It's an isolated shady area overlooking the ocean with a great breeze that is almost impossible to find unless you know where it is, with a big, flat and surprisingly comfortable rock just begging for 2 people to have a picnic. It's isolated enough for other stuff too.

 

I could just sit there and watch the ocean for ages.

 

Shame nobody here lives up this way to take advantage of it.

[foursideking]

Lol...I remember when me and my fiance went on our first date. It was a little over 3 years ago, when I was just heading off to university. First night of it was party night, so we both headed over to a local guy's house (place was huge), and just camped in one of the bedrooms playing wii. Sure, many could say that it doesn't sound too romantic, but in all, it was pretty meaningful to know that both of us would rather skip out on a huge party to hang out w/ eachother...

[tripsis]

that is almost impossible to find unless you know where it is

I read that and thought, "Pirates of the Caribbean!"

[Tim]

that is almost impossible to find unless you know where it is

I read that and thought, "Pirates of the Caribbean!"

[hide][/hide]

[mlskid]

But seriously, Giordano's not that kind of guy, I think he was being ironic.

Yes I was. If I thought that then I'm a big loser. :sad: And I have self-confidence!!11

 

A partner in the later years seems more for survival and companionship rather than love. Dying old and alone must be terrible.

baha, the irony in that last sentence... everyone dies alone.... whether a king in a bed, with everyone present, or a peasant with only his family, everyone passes along by themself. *I know this is a reference to something but i cba to remember it atm.*

[magekillr]

Need help. Liked this girl for a little bit, we slept together a few times, then she cut it off because she didn't want a relationship. Fine by me, as I don't like long-term things anyway. So I got over her in like 2 days. Then a month later she texts me again (when she's drunk) talking about how she misses me and stuff. Blergh, so she has a party before Winter Break, and I decided to go. One thing led to another, and we were the only people left at the party. We go to her room, start talking, and idiot drunk me kisses her. Then the next night she has another party, she barely drinks and I drink nothing...hooked up again. Now it's Sunday, and I realize I don't like her anymore and I didn't know what to do. So I just didn't text her again thinking she'd get the hint. Winter break goes by (a good 5 weeks). Now tonight she texts me saying "this is your last chance..." which it's been like 7 weeks since I last talked to her about any of that stuff.

 

Now I don't know what to do because of a few things:

 

1.) I don't think I like her, but I do like sleeping with her. In the beginning this is why we were together, as she liked the bedroom stuff.

2.) I don't know how to present number 1 without sounding like an ass, which quite frankly when it comes to relationships I am because I prefer open-relations and friends with benefits.

 

So yeah. Should I just tell her the truth, as in I did like her but after she dumped me I didn't anymore....or just go through the rest of the semester pretending? I'm graduating in May anyway, and then headed to Africa...

 

I'd like to work a "friends with benefits" thing with her, but that's only worked out with one girl. Every other time they want something more (and one time *I* wanted something more, but that's another story).

 

I feel like the answer is really obvious (choice number 1, [wagon]), but I don't like commitments. Ugh this just sounds like I use women for sex which isn't true, but I don't want a relationship when I'm leaving for Africa in a few months. In the meantime, I also don't want to be stuck with just myself, and I like snuggling and talking in bed for hours.

[tripsis]

Well if you don't tell her and continue hooking up with her, then you really are just using her for sex, especially if you KNOW that she wants something more than that (which it sounds like she now does?) :P At least if you tell her then it's sort of a mutual using rather than leading her on.

 

Next time she texts you why don't you say something like, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now but I'd love to hang out/come over/whatever." It's a casual and more subtle way of bringing it up (better than "let's just be [bleep] buddies" or "I don't like you but I love having sex with you") but hopefully it will send the message that you really enjoyed hooking up with her but don't want anything more.

[IGoddessI]

Depends what kind of a personality you have. My suggestion would be a little more blunt. But that's only because I like people to know where they sit with me without anything cryptic inbetween for them to second guess about.

 

If it were me, I would say something along the lines of "Hey just being 100% honest with you here but I'm not looking for any type of commitment. I enjoy hanging out with you but I'm looking for something a bit more casual. I don't think this is what you're after so I'm only considering your feelings when I say this. Sorry about the late response, I was thinking of how to break this to you without hurting your feelings, so as you can see I'm not completely heartless"

[foursideking]

Or...you could do what I did to break away from this one girl who had a creepy crush on me: invite her over for dinner, and make sure your entire family is there. Then, just let her talk. She'll guaranteeably embarass herself, and will eventually get the hint that you don't like her anymore...

[Surprise]

Or...you could do what I did to break away from this one girl who had a creepy crush on me: invite her over for dinner, and make sure your entire family is there. Then, just let her talk. She'll guaranteeably embarass herself, and will eventually get the hint that you don't like her anymore...

 

And be even more out of order.

 

Just man up and tell her straight that you don't like her. Don't mention that you only are there for the sex because you look like a [bleep] but I suppose she will jump to that conclusion herself tbh..

[RpgGamer]

I think tripsis said it best with the "I'm not looking for a relationship, but I enjoy hanging out with you" though I'd phrase it slightly differently so it doesn't sound like you're not trying to sleep with her. You're moving to Africa in May anyway, she needs to realize you can't be tied down to anything.

[Rainbows]

I'd go more with Goddess on this one, but that's the sorta person I am. She'll figure out there's a difference in desires soon enough anyway, so best be honest.

[obfuscator]

Just be honest about it...at very least she'll appreciate that and you won't have to deal with it after that (for better or worse).

[Iamdan]

Depends what kind of a personality you have. My suggestion would be a little more blunt. But that's only because I like people to know where they sit with me without anything cryptic inbetween for them to second guess about.

 

If it were me, I would say something along the lines of "Hey just being 100% honest with you here but I'm not looking for any type of commitment. I enjoy hanging out with you but I'm looking for something a bit more casual. I don't think this is what you're after so I'm only considering your feelings when I say this. Sorry about the late response, I was thinking of how to break this to you without hurting your feelings, so as you can see I'm not completely heartless"

 

 

I agree with it depending on personality. Personally I just tell the girl about other girls I hook up with so she knows early on that she isn't the one and she can always stop seeing me if she wants something more.

[catie]

Need help. Liked this girl for a little bit, we slept together a few times, then she cut it off because she didn't want a relationship. Fine by me, as I don't like long-term things anyway. So I got over her in like 2 days. Then a month later she texts me again (when she's drunk) talking about how she misses me and stuff. Blergh, so she has a party before Winter Break, and I decided to go. One thing led to another, and we were the only people left at the party. We go to her room, start talking, and idiot drunk me kisses her. Then the next night she has another party, she barely drinks and I drink nothing...hooked up again. Now it's Sunday, and I realize I don't like her anymore and I didn't know what to do. So I just didn't text her again thinking she'd get the hint. Winter break goes by (a good 5 weeks). Now tonight she texts me saying "this is your last chance..." which it's been like 7 weeks since I last talked to her about any of that stuff.

 

Now I don't know what to do because of a few things:

 

1.) I don't think I like her, but I do like sleeping with her. In the beginning this is why we were together, as she liked the bedroom stuff.

2.) I don't know how to present number 1 without sounding like an ass, which quite frankly when it comes to relationships I am because I prefer open-relations and friends with benefits.

 

So yeah. Should I just tell her the truth, as in I did like her but after she dumped me I didn't anymore....or just go through the rest of the semester pretending? I'm graduating in May anyway, and then headed to Africa...

 

I'd like to work a "friends with benefits" thing with her, but that's only worked out with one girl. Every other time they want something more (and one time *I* wanted something more, but that's another story).

 

I feel like the answer is really obvious (choice number 1, [wagon]), but I don't like commitments. Ugh this just sounds like I use women for sex which isn't true, but I don't want a relationship when I'm leaving for Africa in a few months. In the meantime, I also don't want to be stuck with just myself, and I like snuggling and talking in bed for hours.

 

If you want a friend with benefits thing, present it to her that way. It's easy. Men always seem to think us girls are these fragile, delicate emotional balls of issues. Truthfully, it's because men never know what they want, and they always want to dance around these things, that messes us up. I have always made my intentions clear when engaging in sexual activity with someone. For example, if I want it to be casual, I let them know. If that changes, I let them know. If I think I have feelings for them, I let them know, and etc.

 

We only want the same respect from you.

 

Tell her exactly what you want. Don't [kitty]foot around it. Easy as.

[Tim]

Truthfully, it's because men never know what they want, and they always want to dance around these things, that messes us up.

From personal experence, it's the total opposite for me. (especially the messed up part, which most here will agree on about me) :mellow:

[catie]

Truthfully, it's because men never know what they want, and they always want to dance around these things, that messes us up.

From personal experence, it's the total opposite for me. (especially the messed up part, which most here will agree on about me) :mellow:

Women know what they want. They know when they aren't getting it. Some become dependent on the person they are with, and if their feelings start to disappear, they have a lot of trouble figuring out what to do; this is not the same as not knowing what they want. It's just the inability of doing it in an uncomplicated manner. The two should not be confused. Women are complicated. And often times portrayed as irrational because unless you have a woman's hormones you will not understand our rationale. I am usually able to explain mine; and because of this have more of a man's personality and get along better with guys. I really can't stand girls.