"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Surprise]

Yeah i guess so.

The Positives FAR FAR FAR outweigh the negatives. Like, there isn't a negative, as we are friends with pretty much the same people

 

although one thing i think that isn't helping is the fact sh'es leaving for university most likely this september, and that'll mean limited contact.

 

8 months..

It's a long time and uni indicates that your still young so your relationship shouldn't be that serious (this may start a debate.) Just make the most of it while it lasts and I would say definitely try on that trip.

[RpgGamer]

 

 

Neversay it was always your fault because it probably wasn't just your fault. Plus it allows them to walk all over you.

 

 

Never say never. No one's perfect, and in some situations is better to take the blame, especially if it truly does rest on you. You can't improve if you assume you're already perfect.

[Surprise]

 

 

Neversay it was always your fault because it probably wasn't just your fault. Plus it allows them to walk all over you.

 

 

Never say never. No one's perfect, and in some situations is better to take the blame, especially if it truly does rest on you. You can't improve if you assume you're already perfect.

 

Yes, I can see what you mean. But from experience it made the relationship one sided, she controlled everything as every falling out, every problem I instantly took the blame and once one person has complete control of the relationship it sends it crashing down.

[Iamdan]

Yeah but taking the blame for her being a tard when he didn't do anything will work against him.

 

I would actively move on, and if she tries to make conversation later on tell her that you judged her wrong and what she did was a massive turnoff.

[RESULTS]

Yeah i guess so.

The Positives FAR FAR FAR outweigh the negatives. Like, there isn't a negative, as we are friends with pretty much the same people

 

although one thing i think that isn't helping is the fact sh'es leaving for university most likely this september, and that'll mean limited contact.

 

8 months..

It's a long time and uni indicates that your still young so your relationship shouldn't be that serious (this may start a debate.) Just make the most of it while it lasts and I would say definitely try on that trip.

 

great thanks!

and yeah, she says she plans to move in with her girl friend which will make anything that hasnt already happened impossible.

Hopefully i'll balls up and do something about it in New York city!

[Surprise]

Yeah i guess so.

The Positives FAR FAR FAR outweigh the negatives. Like, there isn't a negative, as we are friends with pretty much the same people

 

although one thing i think that isn't helping is the fact sh'es leaving for university most likely this september, and that'll mean limited contact.

 

8 months..

It's a long time and uni indicates that your still young so your relationship shouldn't be that serious (this may start a debate.) Just make the most of it while it lasts and I would say definitely try on that trip.

 

great thanks!

and yeah, she says she plans to move in with her girl friend which will make anything that hasnt already happened impossible.

Hopefully i'll balls up and do something about it in New York city!

 

Well, good luck with everything.

[RESULTS]

Yeah i guess so.

The Positives FAR FAR FAR outweigh the negatives. Like, there isn't a negative, as we are friends with pretty much the same people

 

although one thing i think that isn't helping is the fact sh'es leaving for university most likely this september, and that'll mean limited contact.

 

8 months..

It's a long time and uni indicates that your still young so your relationship shouldn't be that serious (this may start a debate.) Just make the most of it while it lasts and I would say definitely try on that trip.

 

great thanks!

and yeah, she says she plans to move in with her girl friend which will make anything that hasnt already happened impossible.

Hopefully i'll balls up and do something about it in New York city!

 

 

 

Well, good luck with everything.

thanks!

[Grogthurk]

This may be more a rant of frustration than actual advice seeking.

 

Yesterday, while doing homework, I had a massive headache and my fiancée was just bothering the crap out of me. I eventually got a little short with her and the fight that ensued was absurd. We haven't fought in months. I mean, I know it happened because she was tired and I was VERY uncomfortable.

 

She kept me up until 130am and I have a morning class.

 

The part that bothers me the most is that she spent the entire time saying how I started everything and I'm the reason why she was so mad at the moment. I tried desperately to be relaxed and handle the situation and she kept pushing me. I snapped. I pointed out everything she did. I pointed out how stupid she was being.

:wall:

 

It was really dumb of me. I know better. I hope she's fine in the morning. I love her and she does love me, but man, it is never fun to fight like that. I should have been in control and I lost it #-o

[Ginger_Warrior]

People argue, it happens. When you live that close to someone, while constantly having to put up with the little things that annoy you, eventually patience snaps.

 

It's how you go about it that makes a difference between good people and bad people. Make some time for her, buy her something sentimental, cook her dinner or something, just so she knows that for the part of you that gets short with her, there's a much bigger part that doesn't.

[Guest Rob]

---

[Omar]

Other than hanging around them, nope.

[Lenticular_J]

Not really. Although focusing on their positive traits always helps. It's easy to feel something almost like attraction toward just about anyone if you're nice to them. Especially if they have some sort of traits you find desirable. Find those, that will help. Not sure why you need to. Well, I can imagine situations.

[tripsis]

If you have to force it, it's probably not going to lats long imo :P

[Iamdan]

Is there anyway to force yourself to have feelings for someone? Or to find a way to "like" someone faster than it would normally take? :mellow:

 

Why on earth would you want to do that?

 

I guess sex could do it, but that's a really bad idea.

[Guest Rob]

-

[Iamdan]

Oh. Then I suggest casual sex, or just flirting with more girls in general.

[Lenticular_J]

Not really. Although focusing on their positive traits always helps. It's easy to feel something almost like attraction toward just about anyone if you're nice to them. Especially if they have some sort of traits you find desirable. Find those, that will help. Not sure why you need to. Well, I can imagine situations.

Needing to get over an ex, while I'm still in love with her, and having nobody else who I have even the smallest of feelings for.

Edit: Dan, being 14 sucks, let me tell you.

Gotcha, chief. Gotta truck through. Flirt harder than you've ever flirted, with any girl that's even close to attractive. It should help.

[RpgGamer]

Not really. Although focusing on their positive traits always helps. It's easy to feel something almost like attraction toward just about anyone if you're nice to them. Especially if they have some sort of traits you find desirable. Find those, that will help. Not sure why you need to. Well, I can imagine situations.

Needing to get over an ex, while I'm still in love with her, and having nobody else who I have even the smallest of feelings for.

Edit: Dan, being 14 sucks, let me tell you.

 

Ah yes, this theory. I was wondering why the hell you would want to 'force' yourself to like someone. Sit down, Rob and let me tell you a story. Many moons ago I was only a little older than yourself, and I was madly in love. I was head over heels and beyond for this girl. And one day, my wildest dreams became reality and she loved me back. The relationship that ensued while it took its course was literally a dream come true, passionate and filled with happiness. Only after we had our 16th and final break [after over 36 months] up did I realize just how much [cabbage] I really put up with to keep that illusion of happiness up. There weren't flaws in her, but in the relationship I wanted. I made the relationship what I wanted it to be in my head, and ignored the truth of the situation. Keeping that in mind, I realized the type of relationship [one of trust and loyalty] weren't possible with the girl I had once held so dear. Taking this new found information, I thought long and hard [thats what she said] about the kind of girl i truly saw myself with. I thought about all of the amazing traits I gave my ex, not the ones she actually possessed. I finally came to a conclusion. I built the perfect girl in my head, and I was out to find her. An opportunity arose to which I would have the opportunity to meet many people in a club-like environment in support of free love and sexuality. I saw this and had a premonition - my perfect girl would be there that night. the funny thing? I was absolutely correct. Everything I had built in my mind as the perfect girl...well...I found that girl. Right down to the love of death-core and yu-gi-oh. I DARE you to find a girl like that, let alone the billion other traits I created in my head. Well, I got to talking to her and well...she was exactly what I thought she was. Perfect. And the great part? I wasn't giving her traits and believing in falsehood, this was truly who she was. I had met a girl that I finally thought I could give me the emotional motivation to put my other [cabbage]ty relationship behind me. The kicker? This "perfect girl" did have one flaw. Turns out...she's not attracted to guys. Go figure. I didn't take it personally, all things considered I knew it was truth. But it proved to me one thing: there are girls out there that can capture my heart and attention other than the girl I once fell so hard for. That 'perfect' girl and I still talk on rare occasion. She played a bigger role in my recovery than she'll ever know. She proved there are girls out there worth pursuing. That was when I finally got over my first love.

 

Now let me tell you the second half of that story.

 

Disgruntled at my misfortune of finding the perfect girl with one MAJOR flaw, I lowered my standards a bit. I also started putting myself out there more, hoping with all my might to capture the attention of a girl even remotely close to the girl of my imagination. I've been fishing around for a while now, and in my travels i've found myself filling the void with instead of one girl with one major role, but a handful of girls playing smaller roles in my life. And as you can see by the past 4 or so pages of this thread...that can get messy.

 

don't force yourself to like someone. You'll get over her. Naturally. She'll prove she isn't worth it, and you'll move on. In the mean time, keep meeting people and challenge yourself to fit into different social networks. I for one have joined numerous youth groups of different cultures to unify my spirituality, teach tolerance, and to meet people. Some places work out better than others, but thats just how networking works.

 

I know it's rough now, but you're going to look back on the memory of your post in a year and think "wow...I can't believe that was me".

 

I know I sure as hell have.

[aquariusman]

A)

Just go be with the younger chick. Feelings are much more important that slighted social acceptance. Would you rather be happy and have a few people look at you a tad funny, or would you rather be miserable and "correct"?

 

B)

Everyone is good at something, just as everyone will inevitably be shown up by someone else at that something. But somehow, we're all equal because that better person will still have something they're not good at, where you are

 

C)

I am/was friends with both my ex's. Although, one of which I fight with constantly, and the other has an attention issue where if I ignore her while she's trying to talk to me for more tha n30 seconds she gets pissy. And while I think it's hard to be friends with your ex, in a lot of situations it's perfectly possible.

A)

I've pretty much come to the realization that I do have feelings for her, but it isn't what other people think about the age, it's what I think about the age. It's something I just have to make a decision about, and I'm not talking a logical decision, I mean an emotional one. I can't deny that maybe social acceptance is influencing it a bit, but at the same time, the people I'm closest to, with the exception of my sister, approve.

 

B)

I figured out it was less of finding something to be good at, and more finding some sort of passion. But I think that something I already had showed me what I want: to help people. Right now I'm doing training for becoming a lifeguard, and I love it. I definitely think I'm going to follow through with everything, and work my way up. Also helps the fact that I want to become a firefighter...

 

And since I brought up the conversation about ex's, my ex is my best friend. We literally talk about everything that goes on in our lives, including other relationships. I can definitively say that there is nothing from our relationship that interferes with our friendship. Everything about when we dated was good. We both see it as a happy time in our lives, and it ended well. So yeah, amazing friends, and hell I like her new boyfriend. Sooooo, I don't see her as an ex at all. She's my best friend.

 

 

Yeah i guess so.

The Positives FAR FAR FAR outweigh the negatives. Like, there isn't a negative, as we are friends with pretty much the same people

 

although one thing i think that isn't helping is the fact sh'es leaving for university most likely this september, and that'll mean limited contact.

 

8 months..

It's a long time and uni indicates that your still young so your relationship shouldn't be that serious (this may start a debate.) Just make the most of it while it lasts and I would say definitely try on that trip.

 

great thanks!

and yeah, she says she plans to move in with her girl friend which will make anything that hasnt already happened impossible.

Hopefully i'll balls up and do something about it in New York city!

From reading what you've said, this is going to work out for you. She's either shy or wants you to take control, and in either case what you need to need is talk to her with the confidence that she is into you, that she wants you. And to me that joke her friend made about you texting her all the time means that she IS into you, and her friend was making fun of her for it by sending you that text. GO FOR IT.

 

Oh, and I think you mentioned something about how you're always with your other friends when around her? Make your move, even if you're in front of other friends. If you're confident about it, she'll likely go along with it. Just sit beside her whenever you can, talk to her, make it obvious you're into her. [bleep] what your friends are going to say about it, they are going to make jokes. This exact same situation is what happened to me these past couple weeks, and it turned into a fun little fling. I suspect that this will turn into more for you, as there are differences. But my main message stands. You are THE man. You are the man she wants. Go for it, you will get her.

[Omar]

Needing to get over an ex, while I'm still in love with her, and having nobody else who I have even the smallest of feelings for.

Edit: Dan, being 14 sucks, let me tell you.

Was your ex the only person you could relate to, or do you not have any friends that are almost exactly like you?

[hide=story of my life]

[/hide]

What you probably want is to feel less alone. You can look for friends as well... I send people tons of music because I try to find people who share most of my interests, namely in music.

[Tim]

@Dan, not everyone has friends with benefits, or is 18/21+, or has the confidence of a god like yourself. For once try and post a reply that isn't thought about your [bleep]. Im tired, going to bed and yes Im ranting at you because you take life for granted while others dont get what you have despite how badly they try.

[Grogthurk]

Any of you guys married?

[Ginger_Warrior]

Dan is half-right though. Best cure for heartache is not to sit at home and brood over what happened. I wouldn't recommend sex, especially at 14 because that's such a powerful thing but meeting new people and new girls especially helps rebuild self-esteem.

[Sam]

Chill with some bros, too. Always helps.

[tripsis]

Just do your best to keep yourself occupied (in any way). Don't give yourself free time to let your mind drift over to her. Go out with friends, play sports, focus on school, get involved in a new activity, etc.