"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Surprise]

Rpg...

 

Honestly that's probably one of the most [bleep]ish things i've read/heard for a long time.

 

Playing girls like that you really shouldn't deserve any of them. Especially when they obviously feel much more for you than you do for them. Girls aren't toys which you pick and chose when you get bored and tired of them. They deserve as much respect as you give your friends, which from that seems you are giving very little.

 

Different views from different people. I understand your standpoint, as it is one that I once shared with great pride. Unfortunately, the way the real world operates, doesn't comply well with such ideals and will leave you miserable and lonely. I'd rather be a happy douche, than a suicidal idealist. I'm not out to hurt anyone, because that's something I would never intentionally do. It's not a matter of "playing girls". It's a matter of dating without commitment, which plenty of people do, and it has been argued on this very thread that commitment at such a young age is against human nature. Who am I to defy nature? My boundaries for moral and immoral are certainly different from yours, but ultimately we have the same goals in mind. I assume you want to be happy, you don't want to hurt anyone, you don't want to be hurt, and you're looking for love. I have the same goals, but different means of pursuing them. Also, please don't assume that I disrespect anyone, or lack affection/care for anyone I may or may not be dating or even just be friends with. i respect everyone equally, and care for everyone I talk to. It is because I care that I'm dancing around like this to avoid hurting people. If I didn't care about feelings at all, I'd have already committed to and inevitably cheated on near all of them. But that's not what I want. I'm not going to enter a committed relationship unless I sure she's the right girl. Until then, it's just about testing the water and dating. If things don't work out, things don't work out. If things go well, the relationship gets kicked up a notch and I'll commit. Out of the 3 girls in question, I would only commit to #2 seeing as how my 'relationship' with #1 obviously lacks the connection I'm looking for, and #3 lives impossibly far away.

 

I'd rather be miserable and lonley than knowing I screwed around with numerous girls and upset them greatly as that would weigh on my conscience more than sexual gratification.

[RpgGamer]

Rpg...

 

Honestly that's probably one of the most [bleep]ish things i've read/heard for a long time.

 

Playing girls like that you really shouldn't deserve any of them. Especially when they obviously feel much more for you than you do for them. Girls aren't toys which you pick and chose when you get bored and tired of them. They deserve as much respect as you give your friends, which from that seems you are giving very little.

 

Different views from different people. I understand your standpoint, as it is one that I once shared with great pride. Unfortunately, the way the real world operates, doesn't comply well with such ideals and will leave you miserable and lonely. I'd rather be a happy douche, than a suicidal idealist. I'm not out to hurt anyone, because that's something I would never intentionally do. It's not a matter of "playing girls". It's a matter of dating without commitment, which plenty of people do, and it has been argued on this very thread that commitment at such a young age is against human nature. Who am I to defy nature? My boundaries for moral and immoral are certainly different from yours, but ultimately we have the same goals in mind. I assume you want to be happy, you don't want to hurt anyone, you don't want to be hurt, and you're looking for love. I have the same goals, but different means of pursuing them. Also, please don't assume that I disrespect anyone, or lack affection/care for anyone I may or may not be dating or even just be friends with. i respect everyone equally, and care for everyone I talk to. It is because I care that I'm dancing around like this to avoid hurting people. If I didn't care about feelings at all, I'd have already committed to and inevitably cheated on near all of them. But that's not what I want. I'm not going to enter a committed relationship unless I sure she's the right girl. Until then, it's just about testing the water and dating. If things don't work out, things don't work out. If things go well, the relationship gets kicked up a notch and I'll commit. Out of the 3 girls in question, I would only commit to #2 seeing as how my 'relationship' with #1 obviously lacks the connection I'm looking for, and #3 lives impossibly far away.

 

I'd rather be miserable and lonley than knowing I screwed around with numerous girls and upset them greatly as that would weigh on my conscience more than sexual gratification.

 

Do I really come off as the type to only care about sex? I feel like everyone hates on me for that when its not even true. Numerous meaning more than 2 fine, but I refuse to being anymore girls in the mix because its messy enough as is in the interest of protecting them. Also, I don't see it as screwing with them. I'm being friendly and affectionate to them, as I would anyone I care about.

[tripsis]

I'd rather be a happy douche, than a suicidal idealist.

If you're suicidal whenever you're not dating someone then you have much bigger problems :P

[Surprise]

Rpg...

 

Honestly that's probably one of the most [bleep]ish things i've read/heard for a long time.

 

Playing girls like that you really shouldn't deserve any of them. Especially when they obviously feel much more for you than you do for them. Girls aren't toys which you pick and chose when you get bored and tired of them. They deserve as much respect as you give your friends, which from that seems you are giving very little.

 

Different views from different people. I understand your standpoint, as it is one that I once shared with great pride. Unfortunately, the way the real world operates, doesn't comply well with such ideals and will leave you miserable and lonely. I'd rather be a happy douche, than a suicidal idealist. I'm not out to hurt anyone, because that's something I would never intentionally do. It's not a matter of "playing girls". It's a matter of dating without commitment, which plenty of people do, and it has been argued on this very thread that commitment at such a young age is against human nature. Who am I to defy nature? My boundaries for moral and immoral are certainly different from yours, but ultimately we have the same goals in mind. I assume you want to be happy, you don't want to hurt anyone, you don't want to be hurt, and you're looking for love. I have the same goals, but different means of pursuing them. Also, please don't assume that I disrespect anyone, or lack affection/care for anyone I may or may not be dating or even just be friends with. i respect everyone equally, and care for everyone I talk to. It is because I care that I'm dancing around like this to avoid hurting people. If I didn't care about feelings at all, I'd have already committed to and inevitably cheated on near all of them. But that's not what I want. I'm not going to enter a committed relationship unless I sure she's the right girl. Until then, it's just about testing the water and dating. If things don't work out, things don't work out. If things go well, the relationship gets kicked up a notch and I'll commit. Out of the 3 girls in question, I would only commit to #2 seeing as how my 'relationship' with #1 obviously lacks the connection I'm looking for, and #3 lives impossibly far away.

 

I'd rather be miserable and lonley than knowing I screwed around with numerous girls and upset them greatly as that would weigh on my conscience more than sexual gratification.

 

Do I really come off as the type to only care about sex? I feel like everyone hates on me for that when its not even true. Numerous meaning more than 2 fine, but I refuse to being anymore girls in the mix because its messy enough as is in the interest of protecting them. Also, I don't see it as screwing with them. I'm being friendly and affectionate to them, as I would anyone I care about.

 

But you're playing with them, using #3 for sex and #1 while stringing along #2 as you know she will be there once you've had your fun with the other two.

 

In my books that is screwing with them.

[RpgGamer]

I'd rather be a happy douche, than a suicidal idealist.

If you're suicidal whenever you're not dating someone then you have much bigger problems :P

 

a true statement, fortunately I'm not on the suicidal side, though I do initially become very mopey and unpleasant for a while.

 

 

 

But you're playing with them, using #3 for sex and #1 while stringing along #2 as you know she will be there once you've had your fun with the other two.

 

In my books that is screwing with them.

 

WOAH hold the phone bro, I never once mentioned having sex with #3, because I wouldn't. I couldn't. That wouldn't happen. And I suppose in a sense I am stringing #2 along, which isn't very nice... so you got me on that one ;/

[Surprise]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

[Sam]

It seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

I'm going to throw my two cents in here, I agree.

 

No hard feelings, though.

[Omar]

And I suppose in a sense I am stringing #2 along, which isn't very nice... so you got me on that one ;/

Yeah she really does sound like your backup plan... Well, you know better than I do.

But one thing we can all agree on is that the first step to solving this problem is to use some [bleep]ing line breaks.

[Giordano]

But one thing we can all agree on is that the first step to solving this problem is to use some [bleep]ing line breaks.

I thought I was the only one noticing...

[TTanT]

So, today was my girlfriend and I's one year anniversary.

 

I just wanted to thank you guys for helping me grow a pair and ask her out 12 months ago. Since yeah, this girl is amazing.

 

On a move advice-y note, I'm curious as to all of your opinions toward giving class rings. I already gave mine away (today), but I'm still curious as to your opinions.

[RpgGamer]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

sounds like it would be sexual sure, but it isn't going to be in all likelyhood, because I don't think it should be. And I am hesitant at all to commit to #2 because I want to be sure that I can be the best me for her when I do, and I feel that at this moment in time, as long as there's that "sexual" tension between me and #3, I don't think I can do it.

 

 

@TTanT

she's been your girlfriend for a year and you love her, I'd say thats a good time to give the class ring gift. I think it's adorable.

[Lenticular_J]

So, today was my girlfriend and I's one year anniversary.

 

I just wanted to thank you guys for helping me grow a pair and ask her out 12 months ago. Since yeah, this girl is amazing.

 

On a move advice-y note, I'm curious as to all of your opinions toward giving class rings. I already gave mine away (today), but I'm still curious as to your opinions.

I think class rings are ridiculous, in high school. You won't care about them once you go to college. And if you don't go to college, you might dislike your high school even harder. Never even heard of them being given away. Yankee thing?

[Iamdan]

how old is #3?

[Surprise]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

sounds like it would be sexual sure, but it isn't going to be in all likelyhood, because I don't think it should be. And I am hesitant at all to commit to #2 because I want to be sure that I can be the best me for her when I do, and I feel that at this moment in time, as long as there's that "sexual" tension between me and #3, I don't think I can do it.

 

 

Finally.

[RpgGamer]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

sounds like it would be sexual sure, but it isn't going to be in all likelyhood, because I don't think it should be. And I am hesitant at all to commit to #2 because I want to be sure that I can be the best me for her when I do, and I feel that at this moment in time, as long as there's that "sexual" tension between me and #3, I don't think I can do it.

 

 

Finally.

 

That's what I've been saying since my first post about all of this rofl

 

And I think IamDan finally started asking the right questions :P

[Surprise]

[hide]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

sounds like it would be sexual sure, but it isn't going to be in all likelyhood, because I don't think it should be. And I am hesitant at all to commit to #2 because I want to be sure that I can be the best me for her when I do, and I feel that at this moment in time, as long as there's that "sexual" tension between me and #3, I don't think I can do it.

 

 

Finally.

 

That's what I've been saying since my first post about all of this rofl

 

And I think IamDan finally started asking the right questions :P

[/hide]

 

If that is the case, sorry. From what I read it was more about which girl you could get more out of than their own feelings, especially #2.

 

And to be fair, age has little impact as long as age of consent is sorted as that can cause hiccups with parents and such.

 

But, will you be able to take it slowly? Give her time to learn and not scare the monkeys out of her straight away? As it seems you've been in numerous relationships while it's this girls first shot at it and an experience difference can hamper relationships. Mainly because the experienced guy/girl expects more sooner and forgots this and usually leads to arguments, strains and sometimes cheating on her/him with a girl/guy of more experience; somebody who can give you what you want.

 

And no, I'm not implying you will cheat on her, I'm just saying worse case scenario. (Plus asking a question instead of straight up criticism.)

[RpgGamer]

[hide]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

sounds like it would be sexual sure, but it isn't going to be in all likelyhood, because I don't think it should be. And I am hesitant at all to commit to #2 because I want to be sure that I can be the best me for her when I do, and I feel that at this moment in time, as long as there's that "sexual" tension between me and #3, I don't think I can do it.

 

 

Finally.

 

That's what I've been saying since my first post about all of this rofl

 

And I think IamDan finally started asking the right questions :P

[/hide]

 

If that is the case, sorry. From what I read it was more about which girl you could get more out of than their own feelings, especially #2.

 

And to be fair, age has little impact as long as age of consent is sorted as that can cause hiccups with parents and such.

 

But, will you be able to take it slowly? Give her time to learn and not scare the monkeys out of her straight away? As it seems you've been in numerous relationships while it's this girls first shot at it and an experience difference can hamper relationships as the experience expects more sooner and forgots this and usually leads to arguments, strains and sometimes cheating on her with a girl of mor experience, somebody who can give you what you want.

 

And no, I'm not implying you will cheat on her, I'm just saying worse case scenario. (Plus asking a question instead of straight up criticism.)

 

My darkest moment was when the bolded became reality. It's happened to me before, and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it. I genuinely want to give #2 everything I have to give in a realtionship, patience, maturity, the whole nine yards. I'd be her first boyfriend, and lord knows I wouldn't want to tarnish the good name of dating for her. She is fairly younger than me, but not so much that it's a real issue, and even though she is inexperienced in the field of relationships, you wouldn't guess it talking to her. I realize it may cause issues later, but I'm a rather patient guy, and other than the one instance of fault, I've been able to restrain myself pretty well. I really really don't want to cheat on her, given we were committed to each other. But realistically, it's still a possibility, as I've always held to the 'once a cheater always a cheater, no one truly changes' things. I've caught myself in my own judgmental pitfall. This is why I want to see what I have with #3, get it over and done with to get it out of my system and then commit to #2. I have absolutely 0 intention of bringing any other girls into the fray, as it seems 3 is more than enough, and as I've said, #1 and I will be finished with very soon, it's just a matter of trigger pulling at this point. I don't want to commit to #2 too early because I don't want to have the lingering/wandering emotions/imagination of the possibilities of #3. I want it out of my system so I can be done with it for good.

[Surprise]

[hide]

#3 is and would be a temporary fling. But one of the most epic, passionate, and chemical flings in history.

 

That Sir screams sex.

 

And no it isn't. Especially if it this girls first attempt at a relationship she should be given a good experience.. Not instantly disregarded when a new possibility comes up for you because however crappy this may sound it seems you pick and dump too quickly.

 

sounds like it would be sexual sure, but it isn't going to be in all likelyhood, because I don't think it should be. And I am hesitant at all to commit to #2 because I want to be sure that I can be the best me for her when I do, and I feel that at this moment in time, as long as there's that "sexual" tension between me and #3, I don't think I can do it.

 

 

Finally.

 

That's what I've been saying since my first post about all of this rofl

 

And I think IamDan finally started asking the right questions :P

 

If that is the case, sorry. From what I read it was more about which girl you could get more out of than their own feelings, especially #2.

 

And to be fair, age has little impact as long as age of consent is sorted as that can cause hiccups with parents and such.

 

But, will you be able to take it slowly? Give her time to learn and not scare the monkeys out of her straight away? As it seems you've been in numerous relationships while it's this girls first shot at it and an experience difference can hamper relationships as the experience expects more sooner and forgots this and usually leads to arguments, strains and sometimes cheating on her with a girl of mor experience, somebody who can give you what you want.

 

And no, I'm not implying you will cheat on her, I'm just saying worse case scenario. (Plus asking a question instead of straight up criticism.)

[/hide]

 

 

My darkest moment was when the bolded became reality. It's happened to me before, and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it. I genuinely want to give #2 everything I have to give in a realtionship, patience, maturity, the whole nine yards. I'd be her first boyfriend, and lord knows I wouldn't want to tarnish the good name of dating for her. She is fairly younger than me, but not so much that it's a real issue, and even though she is inexperienced in the field of relationships, you wouldn't guess it talking to her. I realize it may cause issues later, but I'm a rather patient guy, and other than the one instance of fault, I've been able to restrain myself pretty well. I really really don't want to cheat on her, given we were committed to each other. But realistically, it's still a possibility, as I've always held to the 'once a cheater always a cheater, no one truly changes' things. I've caught myself in my own judgmental pitfall. This is why I want to see what I have with #3, get it over and done with to get it out of my system and then commit to #2. I have absolutely 0 intention of bringing any other girls into the fray, as it seems 3 is more than enough, and as I've said, #1 and I will be finished with very soon, it's just a matter of trigger pulling at this point. I don't want to commit to #2 too early because I don't want to have the lingering/wandering emotions/imagination of the possibilities of #3. I want it out of my system so I can be done with it for good.

 

Part in bold, bollocks to that theory. If you are willing to change and able to see what you lose everybody can change, no matter how bad their faults or mistakes are.

 

But otherwise, good. I see no flaws in your thoughts. You are being both selfish and selfless which is always required otherwise the relationship will struggle as you become either too dependent or independent and hence problems.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Inappropriate judgementalism on sexual relationships aside; are you sure going with #3 will make it easier for you to get it out of your system? When people give into temptation and find something they like, doesn't it usually make it harder to leave, not easier?

[RpgGamer]

Inappropriate judgementalism on sexual relationships aside; are you sure going with #3 will make it easier for you to get it out of your system? When people give into temptation and find something they like, doesn't it usually make it harder to leave, not easier?

 

Usually, yes, but the physical distance between the residential locations of me and #3 are enough to put me off. If I have my time with her, than I can categorize the experience as a memory, and not torment myself with thoughts of possibilities.

[Surprise]

Inappropriate judgementalism on sexual relationships aside; are you sure going with #3 will make it easier for you to get it out of your system? When people give into temptation and find something they like, doesn't it usually make it harder to leave, not easier?

 

Usually, yes, but the physical distance between the residential locations of me and #3 are enough to put me off. If I have my time with her, than I can categorize the experience as a memory, and not torment myself with thoughts of possibilities.

 

And why torment yourself with possibilites when you have a potentailly far better girl much closer.

[Ginger_Warrior]

So it's more of a "What if?" scenario. OK, fair enough.

 

Second thing: Whatever the rights and wrongs, you're currently treating #1 in a way you clearly don't want to treat #2. Let's say three months down the line, you and #2 are an item. You have a tif (as in an argument, not a Tip.It Forums, lol). You're upset, then #4 comes along and starts flirting. What's stopping you lining up #4 in the same way you've done for #2 and #3 against #1 here?

 

I'm not judging, I'm just genuinely curious.

[RpgGamer]

Inappropriate judgementalism on sexual relationships aside; are you sure going with #3 will make it easier for you to get it out of your system? When people give into temptation and find something they like, doesn't it usually make it harder to leave, not easier?

 

Usually, yes, but the physical distance between the residential locations of me and #3 are enough to put me off. If I have my time with her, than I can categorize the experience as a memory, and not torment myself with thoughts of possibilities.

 

And why torment yourself with possibilites when you have a potentailly far better girl much closer.

 

Cause I suck and can't help the way I think and feel.

 

So it's more of a "What if?" scenario. OK, fair enough.

 

Second thing: Whatever the rights and wrongs, you're currently treating #1 in a way you clearly don't want to treat #2. Let's say three months down the line, you and #2 are an item. You have a tif (as in an argument, not a Tip.It Forums, lol). You're upset, then #4 comes along and starts flirting. What's stopping you lining up #4 in the same way you've done for #2 and #3 against #1 here?

 

I'm not judging, I'm just genuinely curious.

 

This is an interesting point, though I've only found myself in this situation by bizarre happenstance. I started talking to #1 and #2 around the same time, but initially #1 was much more receptive to my flirtations due to her openness to being in a relationship. #2 on the other hand is actually a friend of the ex that I cheated on, and when I started talking to her really had no interest in dating anyone, let alone me. #3...well...she had a magically fated entrance in my life around the small period of time when I was so sick of trying to decide who to pursue between #1 and #2 [at that point in time I had written #1 off as uninterested, and #2 a complete impossibility on grounds that she was friends with my ex]. Well, turns out I was wrong, and now I find myself in the interesting predicament at hand. At the moment, there is no #4. I don't want there to be if/when this thing gets sorted out and I need to start again from scratch. I'm banking on my unwillingness to let a #4 exist to make sure that there won't ever be a #4. And honestly, when I'm happily committed, I have 0 issues with loyalty. I've been in a long term relationship before and did just fine.

[Surprise]

To break this questioning of rpg..

 

My ex wants to give me my birthday present which she made while we were still going out. She's says she's put a lot of time into it and still really wants me to have it even though she is off galavanting with one of my friends.

 

Should I get it or not?

[RpgGamer]

My ex wants to give me my birthday present which she made while we were still going out. She's says she's put a lot of time into it and still really wants me to have it even though she is off galavanting with one of my friends.

 

Should I get it or not?

 

I'd really have to wonder what it was before answering that question. The fact that she's hitting on your friends would make me [in your shoes] not want anything to do with her, including pleasantries such as birthday gifts. Though from my current perspective, I kind of want you to accept it because she did put time and care into it and I'm curious as hell as to what it is. Might be a nice keepsake that you could look back on years later and hopefully remember the better chunks of the relationship, rather than your interactions as of current.