"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Surprise]

Girls like a guy with charisma. You know why you always see butt-ugly jerks with the hottest girls? It's because they're confident. They don't like them because they're jerks, it's because they're proud of themselves and girls dig confident guys.

I hope you're not suggesting we all like jerks with a large ego. xD

 

It's not a good idea to project yourself as something you're not, no matter what you're trying to appear, and there is something to be said for a sensitive man.

Charisma and appearance is one thing, but if you're not like that, why would you want a girl to like you because you appear to be that type?

 

And what when she does see you for who you are?

 

Exactly, there are plently of girls who will accept you as you are. No point being somebody you're not, nobody can keep up the pretence for long and it will make the relationship shallow.

And towards the person talking about aside the hard questions, they will only get easier with practise and you will fail in the exam if you haven't practise them as they usually make up the majority of the marks.

What you achieve in your education now will stay with you for life and will impact everything; sexual gains and relationships won't. Well, they won't unless you contract an STD.

[Orpheus]

Girls like a guy with charisma. You know why you always see butt-ugly jerks with the hottest girls? It's because they're confident. They don't like them because they're jerks, it's because they're proud of themselves and girls dig confident guys.

 

>"jerk"

 

See, there's a very very fine line between being confident and being an abrasive jerkass who needs to be knocked down a peg for being pompous asses. A lot of them cross that line, and yet, are with hotter girls. There's nothing to logically justify that. I cannot find any form of justification for it. No, not even this trope could possibly justify their behavior.

and yet, are with hotter girls

 

You're judging the girls based solely on appearance, for all you know they're stupid or don't have enough experience in relationships to understand they're not with Mr. Right.

 

To be fair, I was working with Sam's example. I agree otherwise.

[Silvertaler]

I'm probably gonna write a lot, serious problem here, if you can't be bothered reading just pass.

 

I'm not very social. I have a big ego apparently. For as much as I know I do spend too much time in my bubble thinking about myself. I've been trying to change for a month or two and I did make progress, but I feel it's too late for the school I'm at now, I got a bad reputation already and it's incredibly hard to get around it. Next year I will go to another school so I should have a clean start from there on, but I just got myself more problems now and I feel like facing them as a final try before I leave highschool.

In sports class, our class is mixed up with another. There's a girl from the other class who I would really like to ask out, even if it's only for trying. But once again I'm not sure how I should do this. I know I must absolutely not calculate my moves too much, if at all. I must sound like it's just something trivial, but how could I do that? I have the feeling that people will talk in my back if I ask her out, and I feel she will be freaked out if I tell her I'd like to meet up with her sometime. One of my friends does so, he asks them out straight away but I don't know how the hell he does so. What's a good place to ask her? What's a good moment and most imporantly, what to say? Is it even right to ask to meet them during the first conversation, like "hey you look like someone i'd like to know wanna meet at x place" or something, when you don't know them at all?

[Furah]

So an acquaintance of mine asked if I was single because she was trying to find her friend a boyfriend as all their male friends are take. If she was older I'd recommend her to Tim, but he says no to 16 year olds. :-?

 

So I said I'd consider it.

[RpgGamer]

I'm probably gonna write a lot, serious problem here, if you can't be bothered reading just pass.

 

I'm not very social. I have a big ego apparently. For as much as I know I do spend too much time in my bubble thinking about myself. I've been trying to change for a month or two and I did make progress, but I feel it's too late for the school I'm at now, I got a bad reputation already and it's incredibly hard to get around it. Next year I will go to another school so I should have a clean start from there on, but I just got myself more problems now and I feel like facing them as a final try before I leave highschool.

In sports class, our class is mixed up with another. There's a girl from the other class who I would really like to ask out, even if it's only for trying. But once again I'm not sure how I should do this. I know I must absolutely not calculate my moves too much, if at all. I must sound like it's just something trivial, but how could I do that? I have the feeling that people will talk in my back if I ask her out, and I feel she will be freaked out if I tell her I'd like to meet up with her sometime. One of my friends does so, he asks them out straight away but I don't know how the hell he does so. What's a good place to ask her? What's a good moment and most imporantly, what to say? Is it even right to ask to meet them during the first conversation, like "hey you look like someone i'd like to know wanna meet at x place" or something, when you don't know them at all?

 

I beleive it's time we discussed the 3 second rule again. if you can't pull the trigger and talk to her in 3 seconds, you will over think everything. Next time you have sports class, strike up a conversation with her. if it goes well, ask her to do something with you later [some sort of mutual event or activity that you'll both enjoy]. Best advice is to just do it without making a big thing of it. Making a big deal out of it will only cause you to over think the details.

[Silvertaler]

I'm probably gonna write a lot, serious problem here, if you can't be bothered reading just pass.

 

I'm not very social. I have a big ego apparently. For as much as I know I do spend too much time in my bubble thinking about myself. I've been trying to change for a month or two and I did make progress, but I feel it's too late for the school I'm at now, I got a bad reputation already and it's incredibly hard to get around it. Next year I will go to another school so I should have a clean start from there on, but I just got myself more problems now and I feel like facing them as a final try before I leave highschool.

In sports class, our class is mixed up with another. There's a girl from the other class who I would really like to ask out, even if it's only for trying. But once again I'm not sure how I should do this. I know I must absolutely not calculate my moves too much, if at all. I must sound like it's just something trivial, but how could I do that? I have the feeling that people will talk in my back if I ask her out, and I feel she will be freaked out if I tell her I'd like to meet up with her sometime. One of my friends does so, he asks them out straight away but I don't know how the hell he does so. What's a good place to ask her? What's a good moment and most imporantly, what to say? Is it even right to ask to meet them during the first conversation, like "hey you look like someone i'd like to know wanna meet at x place" or something, when you don't know them at all?

 

I beleive it's time we discussed the 3 second rule again. if you can't pull the trigger and talk to her in 3 seconds, you will over think everything. Next time you have sports class, strike up a conversation with her. if it goes well, ask her to do something with you later [some sort of mutual event or activity that you'll both enjoy]. Best advice is to just do it without making a big thing of it. Making a big deal out of it will only cause you to over think the details.

Yes, I think I have understood that, thanks, but let's suppose we're in sports class, and we're not even playing together, how/when should I approach her? See, I feel that if I don't have a good reason to come and talk with her, it will look "obvious" that I want to be her boyfriend.

[RpgGamer]

I'm probably gonna write a lot, serious problem here, if you can't be bothered reading just pass.

 

I'm not very social. I have a big ego apparently. For as much as I know I do spend too much time in my bubble thinking about myself. I've been trying to change for a month or two and I did make progress, but I feel it's too late for the school I'm at now, I got a bad reputation already and it's incredibly hard to get around it. Next year I will go to another school so I should have a clean start from there on, but I just got myself more problems now and I feel like facing them as a final try before I leave highschool.

In sports class, our class is mixed up with another. There's a girl from the other class who I would really like to ask out, even if it's only for trying. But once again I'm not sure how I should do this. I know I must absolutely not calculate my moves too much, if at all. I must sound like it's just something trivial, but how could I do that? I have the feeling that people will talk in my back if I ask her out, and I feel she will be freaked out if I tell her I'd like to meet up with her sometime. One of my friends does so, he asks them out straight away but I don't know how the hell he does so. What's a good place to ask her? What's a good moment and most imporantly, what to say? Is it even right to ask to meet them during the first conversation, like "hey you look like someone i'd like to know wanna meet at x place" or something, when you don't know them at all?

 

I beleive it's time we discussed the 3 second rule again. if you can't pull the trigger and talk to her in 3 seconds, you will over think everything. Next time you have sports class, strike up a conversation with her. if it goes well, ask her to do something with you later [some sort of mutual event or activity that you'll both enjoy]. Best advice is to just do it without making a big thing of it. Making a big deal out of it will only cause you to over think the details.

Yes, I think I have understood that, thanks, but let's suppose we're in sports class, and we're not even playing together, how/when should I approach her? See, I feel that if I don't have a good reason to come and talk with her, it will look "obvious" that I want to be her boyfriend.

 

I think there's some cultural differences here lol. Just because you ask a girl on a date doesn't mean you want to be her boyfriend, and don't think that because you are on a date that makes you any girls boyfriend. If your groups happen to separate, wait until your classes mix, or just wait until the end of class [where from my experience, most people gather in waiting for their next class anyway]

[Silvertaler]

Nah no cultural differences I just still have ego problems and get paranoid easily I guess :P

 

But yeah, I suppose it will never be a good idea to go and talk with her when she's talking with her friends or in a place I'm not supposed to be at, right? See we're playing Badminton now, we have various playing fields or whatever they're called in english, and theres a gap between where she plays and where I do since I'm a bit ahead so... kinda tough I guess.

 

EDIT: Ok so I just remembered something, there was this day at the beginning of the year where I was a little bit upset and that girl saw me arrive at sports class. She asked me why I looked so tired and I responded a bit harshly, then apologized. That, added up to the ego problems I had, may have given her a bad impression, I don't know. I don't know if she paid attention to the times I might have shown to have an ego, really. I'm having doubts now though, I really don't know if she has any prejudice against me.

[Noxx]

Nah no cultural differences I just still have ego problems and get paranoid easily I guess :P

 

But yeah, I suppose it will never be a good idea to go and talk with her when she's talking with her friends or in a place I'm not supposed to be at, right? See we're playing Badminton now, we have various playing fields or whatever they're called in english, and theres a gap between where she plays and where I do since I'm a bit ahead so... kinda tough I guess.

Omg i think i can actually offer some advice for once!@!@!

Same thing happened to me about errrr 5 months ago. I worked in a mall and there was thing girl working on the store across from em hat i really liked (well, by apearance anyway). I'm shy myself and aproaching her would be hard (even the thought of it got my heart racing). So one day i decided today is the day. Now or never. I tried catching her attention. Had to do this for about 15 minutes, waving my hands around as if trying to catch a fly, trying to get the movement to catch her eye (yeah this sounds silly) and i even took 3 cds and started juggling them. Finally i got her attention. This was about 15% of the work. I was gonna go over there, to her store but decided to "call her over" using a hand gesture. We met up in the centre of the mall wallkway and it was as easy as that. I said soemthing like: Hi, i'm Adrian. I'm sure you've noticed me working in the store oposite you. I was wondering if you would like to go have coffee or something during a lunch break some day?

 

And that was it. I gave her my number, told her she should think about it before giving me an answer and later that day i got the text saying yes. I was scared to death, my palms were sweaty and i'm almost sure i might have wet myself a bit (it really wasnt that bad in all honesty).

The thing about aproaching a girl is that we as guys tend to over think it. A few months after me and this girl met we talked about the "day i asked her out" and she told me that girls find it just as scary when a guy aproaches her. So don't think for one second she is at ease. She accepts the akwardness because she is feeling it just as much.

 

So to make a long story short. Since you say there are more than one playing field, i woudl suggest doing a similar thing. Try get her attention and meet her half way. Be polite and give her time to think about an answer. Dont make her answer you right there on the spot. Thats about as much as i can help you. Good luck :thumbup:

[Silvertaler]

Nah no cultural differences I just still have ego problems and get paranoid easily I guess :P

 

But yeah, I suppose it will never be a good idea to go and talk with her when she's talking with her friends or in a place I'm not supposed to be at, right? See we're playing Badminton now, we have various playing fields or whatever they're called in english, and theres a gap between where she plays and where I do since I'm a bit ahead so... kinda tough I guess.

Omg i think i can actually offer some advice for once!@!@!

Same thing happened to me about errrr 5 months ago. I worked in a mall and there was thing girl working on the store across from em hat i really liked (well, by apearance anyway). I'm shy myself and aproaching her would be hard (even the thought of it got my heart racing). So one day i decided today is the day. Now or never. I tried catching her attention. Had to do this for about 15 minutes, waving my hands around as if trying to catch a fly, trying to get the movement to catch her eye (yeah this sounds silly) and i even took 3 cds and started juggling them. Finally i got her attention. This was about 15% of the work. I was gonna go over there, to her store but decided to "call her over" using a hand gesture. We met up in the centre of the mall wallkway and it was as easy as that. I said soemthing like: Hi, i'm Adrian. I'm sure you've noticed me working in the store oposite you. I was wondering if you would like to go have coffee or something during a lunch break some day?

 

And that was it. I gave her my number, told her she should think about it before giving me an answer and later that day i got the text saying yes. I was scared to death, my palms were sweaty and i'm almost sure i might have wet myself a bit (it really wasnt that bad in all honesty).

The thing about aproaching a girl is that we as guys tend to over think it. A few months after me and this girl met we talked about the "day i asked her out" and she told me that girls find it just as scary when a guy aproaches her. So don't think for one second she is at ease. She accepts the akwardness because she is feeling it just as much.

 

So to make a long story short. Since you say there are more than one playing field, i woudl suggest doing a similar thing. Try get her attention and meet her half way. Be polite and give her time to think about an answer. Dont make her answer you right there on the spot. Thats about as much as i can help you. Good luck :thumbup:

What you said was what I already had in mind. But you've reinforced my courage to do it by giving me an example. I will feel much more at ease doing it knowing how someone else has also done it. One of my friends did that but he never explained any further. Thanks a lot!

 

I was also wondering, should I add her on facebook before even doing any of this, so I'd know if she already has a boyfriend, or would it sell out my "game" too much?

[Noxx]

Nah no cultural differences I just still have ego problems and get paranoid easily I guess :P

 

But yeah, I suppose it will never be a good idea to go and talk with her when she's talking with her friends or in a place I'm not supposed to be at, right? See we're playing Badminton now, we have various playing fields or whatever they're called in english, and theres a gap between where she plays and where I do since I'm a bit ahead so... kinda tough I guess.

Omg i think i can actually offer some advice for once!@!@!

Same thing happened to me about errrr 5 months ago. I worked in a mall and there was thing girl working on the store across from em hat i really liked (well, by apearance anyway). I'm shy myself and aproaching her would be hard (even the thought of it got my heart racing). So one day i decided today is the day. Now or never. I tried catching her attention. Had to do this for about 15 minutes, waving my hands around as if trying to catch a fly, trying to get the movement to catch her eye (yeah this sounds silly) and i even took 3 cds and started juggling them. Finally i got her attention. This was about 15% of the work. I was gonna go over there, to her store but decided to "call her over" using a hand gesture. We met up in the centre of the mall wallkway and it was as easy as that. I said soemthing like: Hi, i'm Adrian. I'm sure you've noticed me working in the store oposite you. I was wondering if you would like to go have coffee or something during a lunch break some day?

 

And that was it. I gave her my number, told her she should think about it before giving me an answer and later that day i got the text saying yes. I was scared to death, my palms were sweaty and i'm almost sure i might have wet myself a bit (it really wasnt that bad in all honesty).

The thing about aproaching a girl is that we as guys tend to over think it. A few months after me and this girl met we talked about the "day i asked her out" and she told me that girls find it just as scary when a guy aproaches her. So don't think for one second she is at ease. She accepts the akwardness because she is feeling it just as much.

 

So to make a long story short. Since you say there are more than one playing field, i woudl suggest doing a similar thing. Try get her attention and meet her half way. Be polite and give her time to think about an answer. Dont make her answer you right there on the spot. Thats about as much as i can help you. Good luck :thumbup:

What you said was what I already had in mind. But you've reinforced my courage to do it by giving me an example. I will feel much more at ease doing it knowing how someone else has also done it. One of my friends did that but he never explained any further. Thanks a lot!

 

I was also wondering, should I add her on facebook before even doing any of this, so I'd know if she already has a boyfriend, or would it sell out my "game" too much?

Well this is actully a tricky situation. Both has its pros and cons.

If you do add her before doing anything, of of two things can happen.

1) When you approach her she will think "OMG here comes the random guy (whom ive never even spoken too) that added me on Facebook.

Or

2) "Oh, that's the guy who added me on Facebook the other day" in a good-ish way.

 

All in all i would rather not add her yet, it might have an element of desperation to it. Wait till she adds you, that would already be a sign of her being interrested in you or not.

[Silvertaler]

 

 

All in all i would rather not add her yet, it might have an element of desperation to it. Wait till she adds you, that would already be a sign of her being interrested in you or not.

^Awesome thinking, ty again. I really need to get the hang of this stuff, I never see those kinds of things coming.

[RpgGamer]

I believe Noxxx fielded that one quite well. Best of luck, Silver!

[Omar]

Silvertaler, I find that event about you answering harshly indicates two things. First of all, she's not scared or repulsed by you if she asked why you were tired. Second, you apologized, and that's respectable, as many people tend to worry about admitting they've been rude and don't apologize. If I was her, I wouldn't have a very low opinion of you; maybe not a very high one as you haven't done anything to indicate you're an amazing guy, but most likely in the positives. I think you've scored points rather then lost.

Have you gotten to know her at all, or is she just really cute?

Girls like a guy with charisma. You know why you always see butt-ugly jerks with the hottest girls? It's because they're confident. They don't like them because they're jerks, it's because they're proud of themselves and girls dig confident guys.

 

 

Take a look at Omar's post on the last page. That's the best advice posted in this thread.

Also, while I'm making her making inexperienced claims about relationships, let me just disagree or add a nuance to this.

 

Yes, many girls prefer a guy with charisma. But I've met a substantial amount who are into what my friend calls "special boys": awkward, skinny, introverted, artsy, sweet guys who wouldn't hurt a fly. I've also met girls who are in between.

 

Two ideas support the statement many in this thread, including Sam just here, have made about women.

 

The first is a scientific argument: women are seeking men who will yield strong progeny and defend it. While it's a valid way of thinking for sure, culture and nurture shouldn't be completely forgotten: some things which are hard-wired into our brain may actually be quite malleable at the hands of parents, friends, and idols. Think of all the things we do which are absolutely silly if you step back, like worshiping a deity. I think this theory, while it applies in many cases, isn't always valid and should be applied depending on the girl, as some personality types are, I think, more likely to seek beefy guys than special boys.

 

The second argument, I used in my earlier, longer post. I said that no matter how uninteresting, a guy will usually be looking for someone attractive physically, and therefore his personality should change accordingly in order to attract someone of that "value" (I dislike the term, but it's quite practical...). While true, this remains superficial and does not in any way consider personality. An introverted geek will not necessarily be healthily and lastingly attracted to a hot, stupid girl. As such, changes to personality should fall within striving for what is positive and striving against what is negative about oneself, a fight for who you are rather than against yourself. If you're introverted, stay introverted. But don't be an insecure, introverted, guy who doesn't know what he's doing in life. That's unattractive to everyone, though for both introverted and extroverted teens, I think it's pretty much the norm to be insecure and weak. What you should be doing your best to achieve is becoming an introverted guy who knows what he loves, has his own philosophy and values, and is striving for something in his life. In the very same way confident, boisterous guys will seem to fall into place with the girls who like their attitude, the quiet philosopher will find a cute, quiet, intelligent, and introverted girl who will fit just right with him. As a teen, that's far beyond your reach (and also mine), but it'll be a long time before you've completely achieved that, and now's as good a time to start as later.

 

I've made this long again, haven't I? I'm sorry.

[Kalphite]

[spoiler=History]

So I'm thinking my luck might be starting to turn around finally. xD

 

A bit of background first - Every weekend I have a sort of get-together at my house, I invite most of my friends and normally about 8-12 people show up to an average one during the school year. Since about December one of my best friends (Austin) has been bringing a girl from another school with him (Stephanie) (they like each other but aren't going out officially yet). At the first one she went to Stephanie seemed pretty cool and she got along with everyone, so she's kept coming since then. The next one she came to, she brought a friend, Kelsi. I talked to her a bit there and got her number so I could invite her to more but I didn't because the only one she really knew was Stephanie and I figured they'd just come together anyways, plus I sort of forgot, lol.

 

At the one last weekend (Sunday), Stephanie asked if she could bring Kelsi again, and I said sure. At first is was much like the other one we'd gone to; we talked sometimes, but I still didn't really know her and I spent more time talking to other people there. Then, we all went on a walk up to a local convienience store (about a half mile away). Half of us started walking off without realizing not everyone was out of the store yet, and when we realized they were behind most of us headed back aside from austin, stephanie, and another friend. As Kelsi was coming back, she said she didn't want to leave the whole group behind. However, once she met up with us she started walking ahead of everyone else. I teased her about that and we were talking the rest of the way back as our own little group between everyone else about a bunch of random stuff (why her name was spelled weird, our neighborhoods, Austin and Stephanie's lack of going official, other miscellanious things) and kept talking basically until everyone left.

 

Later that day, I was talking to one of my friends on facebook and she asked me what was going on between me and Kelsi. Apparently her and about four other people there all had noticed that both of us seemed pretty into each other (I hadn't really considered that by that point - she's cute but I had only known her for a day in essence). I asked my foreign exchange student about it and he said he noticed as well, so it wasn't just my friend exaggerating.

 

Tuesday I decided to text her for a while, and the conversation lasted for about 2.5 hours. It started off pretty light (joking about her school and about how a clock nearly fell on my face that day) but it eventually started to get a bit deep (talking about our pasts, and she was telling me about some of her insecurities, a bit more than I would normally expect from someone I'd only met two days ago) before she had to go to study for a test the next day and sleep.

 

Yesterday I sent out the weekly mass-text about the get-together and she said she'd come if she didn't have anything else going on. I didn't pursue a conversation out of that, wasn't really much to say xD.

 

Which brings me up to now. Obviously I don't know well enough if she's actually interested or if this all just how she is, but I've also only known her since Sunday and I'm not freaking out over her or anything, though I am interested.

 

You guys think I have a shot or did I make some sort of mistake in there that I didn't realize?

 

 

Alright, so this happened nearly a month ago. For about another week after that we kept having more of those long conversations, about one every other day though I admit I started all but one of them. However, last week while we still did have conversations they didn't last nearly as long, and this week we've only had one short one (though it was cut short by my bad timing of texting her right before she was going to the movies with some friends). She also hasn't been able to come to any more of my get-togethers, though she's given me legitimate excuses, and it seems like it would be sorta weird to ask her to hang out away from those because like I said I've only really met her once. Blah I probably screwed it up by texting her too much but whatever, guess I'll just see how it goes whenever she does end up coming to another one.

[Silvertaler]

Silvertaler, I find that event about you answering harshly indicates two things. First of all, she's not scared or repulsed by you if she asked why you were tired. Second, you apologized, and that's respectable, as many people tend to worry about admitting they've been rude and don't apologize. If I was her, I wouldn't have a very low opinion of you; maybe not a very high one as you haven't done anything to indicate you're an amazing guy, but most likely in the positives. I think you've scored points rather then lost.

Have you gotten to know her at all, or is she just really cute?

Cute for sure, not the perfect hot chick ideal but I frankly don't mind. Pretty green eyes turn me on definitely. I didn't talk to her at all since the beginning. There was a time we were in the same team for a volley match but I didn't really talk with her, I wasn't interested back then. She seems shy and doesn't get involved with the show-offy immature guys who tend to get all the girls. Saw her profile on FB without adding, she sounds quite fair, don't know how to express it. It's just someone I really feel I'd like to know more.

 

Saw her at school today, but I didn't dare to go and ask her. She was talking with her friends a lot. One friend tells me I could just ask her if I could have a word with her, wether or not she's with friends, and ask her to meet sometime later to talk. Then, when we do talk, I'd have a little conversation and ask her out on a date. I feel that would stress her up a lot, I really don't know. Frankly I have a hard time finding a good opportunity to talk with her. I'm starting to understand my "opponent" in all this isn't her decision but rather mine.

[Omar]

It's always a good idea to have a little conversation going before, I think. I'd be inclined to say no if a girl asked me out and we hardly knew each other. My advice would definitely be to talk to her a couple of time before you ask her out. Be sure to go maximum flirting. I think Iamdan wrote a blog post about it.

[Silvertaler]

I see her at school and I really wanna talk to her but I just don't know what to say. I don't want to sound like a creep who comes out of nowhere talking. I was thinking of being straightforward honest, come up to her and say I thought she was attractive and would hate myself if I hadn't come talk with her, then go on with some kind of convo.. dunno if this is right though.

[Giordano]

Talk a bit before you ask her out, yes. Making the minimum point of friendship/acquaintance ("The Meeting Point" as I call it) is the first step here: get to a point where you're not a stranger to her and she recognizes you out in the field: e.g. where saying 'Hello!' and a little chit-chat won't be awkward.

 

Don't bother with Dan's blog entry of flirting. He talks too much of touching and stuff (for older ages too), and if you're nervous on talking to her there's no way you're going to be comfortable or any good at touching her neither.

[Silvertaler]

Gah I'm confused, some people tell me to pull the trigger before it's too late, and others tell me I must approach her for two weeks before asking anything. Is it wiser to just forget about all these suggestions and go do things the way I want to?

[RpgGamer]

Never associate numbers and relationships. Ever. 3 day waiting period? 2 weeks of talking?

 

who cares!

 

Every situation is different.

 

Find something you can talk alot about that interests her, or start talking to one of her friends. You don't have to make a whole project out of the ordeal. Casual conversation works just as well. Think about it, all she's done is asked you if you were tired [showing care and interest] and looked nice. And now you like her. she barely did anything. Can you do the same?

[Surprise]

Gah I'm confused, some people tell me to pull the trigger before it's too late, and others tell me I must approach her for two weeks before asking anything. Is it wiser to just forget about all these suggestions and go do things the way I want to?

 

You're obviously not competent in your ability to deal it with yourself or you wouldn't be here in the first place so I would try and make an understanding.

And you will always get split advice, we are most completely different people so advice will vary from person to person. Just follow what seems right to you not the advice which is argued the hardest because both have flaws.

[Omar]

Gah I'm confused, some people tell me to pull the trigger before it's too late, and others tell me I must approach her for two weeks before asking anything.

You get it! There's no set solution. No one here knows you two so we can't make a decision for you.

That being said, from what I hear about you two, I think you should talk to her for a handful of minutes, or maybe just compliment her about her shoes in the hallways or something. Gradually talk to her more. You want to show her you're intelligent, but not pretentious. Attractive, but still approachable.

As Standard said, you should take a look at everything we've said and see what makes the most sense to you.

[egyptqueen1]

So a friend of mine told me that, one of my BF's best friends saw him cheating on me. Thing is he's very very loyal, i can prove it (i was in japan for a month and he didn't do anything)

 

Also said girl has a boyfriend whom she is very loyal to as well (i think she was almost engaged at one point)

 

My question is what should i do about these rumors? I don't want them to put a strain in my relationship, especially since my boyfriend knows i have slight paranoia issues with being cheated on or being abandoned. (adoption has caused a couple abandonment issues but thats besides the point). Is there a way i can keep people from making these rumors up so that i don't have to confront my bf?

[Kalphite]

[spoiler=History]

So I'm thinking my luck might be starting to turn around finally. xD

 

A bit of background first - Every weekend I have a sort of get-together at my house, I invite most of my friends and normally about 8-12 people show up to an average one during the school year. Since about December one of my best friends (Austin) has been bringing a girl from another school with him (Stephanie) (they like each other but aren't going out officially yet). At the first one she went to Stephanie seemed pretty cool and she got along with everyone, so she's kept coming since then. The next one she came to, she brought a friend, Kelsi. I talked to her a bit there and got her number so I could invite her to more but I didn't because the only one she really knew was Stephanie and I figured they'd just come together anyways, plus I sort of forgot, lol.

 

At the one last weekend (Sunday), Stephanie asked if she could bring Kelsi again, and I said sure. At first is was much like the other one we'd gone to; we talked sometimes, but I still didn't really know her and I spent more time talking to other people there. Then, we all went on a walk up to a local convienience store (about a half mile away). Half of us started walking off without realizing not everyone was out of the store yet, and when we realized they were behind most of us headed back aside from austin, stephanie, and another friend. As Kelsi was coming back, she said she didn't want to leave the whole group behind. However, once she met up with us she started walking ahead of everyone else. I teased her about that and we were talking the rest of the way back as our own little group between everyone else about a bunch of random stuff (why her name was spelled weird, our neighborhoods, Austin and Stephanie's lack of going official, other miscellanious things) and kept talking basically until everyone left.

 

Later that day, I was talking to one of my friends on facebook and she asked me what was going on between me and Kelsi. Apparently her and about four other people there all had noticed that both of us seemed pretty into each other (I hadn't really considered that by that point - she's cute but I had only known her for a day in essence). I asked my foreign exchange student about it and he said he noticed as well, so it wasn't just my friend exaggerating.

 

Tuesday I decided to text her for a while, and the conversation lasted for about 2.5 hours. It started off pretty light (joking about her school and about how a clock nearly fell on my face that day) but it eventually started to get a bit deep (talking about our pasts, and she was telling me about some of her insecurities, a bit more than I would normally expect from someone I'd only met two days ago) before she had to go to study for a test the next day and sleep.

 

Yesterday I sent out the weekly mass-text about the get-together and she said she'd come if she didn't have anything else going on. I didn't pursue a conversation out of that, wasn't really much to say xD.

 

Which brings me up to now. Obviously I don't know well enough if she's actually interested or if this all just how she is, but I've also only known her since Sunday and I'm not freaking out over her or anything, though I am interested.

 

You guys think I have a shot or did I make some sort of mistake in there that I didn't realize?

 

 

Alright, so this happened nearly a month ago. For about another week after that we kept having more of those long conversations, about one every other day though I admit I started all but one of them. However, last week while we still did have conversations they didn't last nearly as long, and this week we've only had one short one (though it was cut short by my bad timing of texting her right before she was going to the movies with some friends). She also hasn't been able to come to any more of my get-togethers, though she's given me legitimate excuses, and it seems like it would be sorta weird to ask her to hang out away from those because like I said I've only really met her once. Blah I probably screwed it up by texting her too much but whatever, guess I'll just see how it goes whenever she does end up coming to another one.

 

This post sort of got lost but now Stephanie and Austin aren't talking anymore so i'm guessing she probably won't be coming over anymore either anyways. Fantastic >.>