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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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You guys are making monogamy sound like a disease with your abbreviations...

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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You guys are making monogamy sound like a disease with your abbreviations...

I was thinking this the whole time. Monogamous is such a long work to type, though! :P

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but in "mono" relationships where one of them cheat, then they get back together, doesn't this more often then not eventually lead to the cheater cheating again? At which point you have a cycle of cheating, being caught, being sad, getting back together, then cheating again. Aaaand suddenly you aren't having a real mono relationship.

But if it's not a monogamous relationship, what is it? It cannot be a polyamorous relationships because there is no consent from one of the partners. You can call it a lesser, more hedonistic form of a monogamous relationship because there are certain polyamorous qualities to it, but it is still a monogamous relationship.

 

Better start typing "mono" again, sentences take too long to type in this thread :? .

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Guys it was a joke, you can still abbreviate it as monogam.

 

Seriously though, on what you^ were talking about, it's pretty simple: the promises (explicit or not) made are mono, the reality of the events is poly. I don't see where the question lies.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Disagree. Why do we wonder whether a relationship is mono or poly to begin with? Because if someone dates on the side while the other person expects this not to happen, tensions will arise. The question is not what the relationship actually is, but what the other person thinks it is: that's the real crux of the issue. If you show up to a rendez-vous with several women who weren't expecting it and you're like "What? this is a poly relationship!", you're throwing a curveball, because people assume otherwise by default. If you don't explicitly reserve exclusivity, you implicitly promise it, or at least you send the message that you are making that promise, whether you want to or not. I think it's not honest to pretend you're unaware of those rules or that you're above them, because we use such codes of social conduct every day.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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I think relationships are mono by default. What this changes is that you have to explicitly reserve exclusivity. Probably not the same issue as earlier.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Girl I like texted me last night. She's excited that I'm coming home, or so she says. I told her I was gonna give her a big hug, so she better be prepared, and she seemed excited about that, too. Lol, I haven't gotten any action for two years; hugging a really pretty girl is a big step, even if it's just a hug.

 

We'll see how things go after not seeing her for 10 weeks. I hope things don't become weird/awkward. I know I'll do my best to not be awkward. Meh, who knows.

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What should i do on my date tomorrow? We went to a movie last time, so that's a no. And we don't just want to stay in my or her house, so I need some help. Money isn't really an issue, but I don't really wanna break the bank

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Take her out to a local italian restaurant? (If she likes that kind of thing that is.)

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^ Going to a restaurant is formal? That's an interesting cultural difference between the USA and continental Europe.


"Imagine yourself surrounded by the most horrible cripples and maniacs it is possible to conceive, and you may understand a little of my feelings with these grotesque caricatures of humanity about me."

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I don't see why restaurants being a part of everyday life is a bad thing.


"Imagine yourself surrounded by the most horrible cripples and maniacs it is possible to conceive, and you may understand a little of my feelings with these grotesque caricatures of humanity about me."

- H.G. Wells, The Island of Doctor Moreau

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So this girl i met last week when me and my friends went out... I ran into her again last night at the same place. But first...

 

So me and the other girl, the one ive been "seeing" for the past 3 odd weeks and i... It's been going alright i suppose. Still taking it extremely slow. But i guess i'm just a a patient kind of guy so it doesn't really bother me too much. We went to the movies last night and we planned to do something after that. When we got out of the movies i asked her what she wanted to do now? She told me that she had a rough day, she was tired, she really just wanted to go home and sleep. I was kinda mad because a few days before i told her that i wanted to see her more than once a week. We text so much but we hardly ever see each other. It makes things a bit difficult. She agreed that we should hang out more, and then when we actually do hang out she leaves after ~2 and a half hours? Yeah i was a tad bit upset. But i got home round 10, so i decided that i might aswell make the best of s shitty situation and i went out with my friends. This is where i saw the girl i met last week.

So i saw her looking at me when we got there. I went over to talk to her, just say hello and such. The music was so loud that i couldn't hear her very well, so i told her i'll speak to her later. So later on we bumped into each other outside and we started talking. It was cool. She asked me what i was going to do after we left. Told her i'd probably just end up going home and having a beer or two there "welcome to join me if you want".

Didn't think she actually would, but she did. She spent the night there. I was really shocked at what i had just done, because it's really out of character. It's not something i ever do. But i feel like it was good for me in some way. Release some stress and such. And she seems like a nice girl too. She said she might come round tonight after she went to a birthday party with her friends. Should be fun i suppose.

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On the topic of restaurants, I would consider that semi-formal. It really depends on where you go though. If you go to Swiss Chalet, that's pretty casual. Same with pretty much any of our Chinese/Vietnamese restaurants. At the formal end of the scale we have restaurants with dress codes, and in between we have nice restaurants where you wear something nice, but not super formal (like Steak and Stine I think). It's not something many people here do often (excepting the entire fast food industry, though eating even there often is hardly cheaper than eating real food), but its not considered a big deal either, and its a pretty big staple in local dating when your not feeling creative (the other staple of course being movies).

 

Not sure what it's like where you are Low, but I know here the more creative types will seek out local entertainment. That could be something fairly mundane like a hockey game at the Convention Centre, or finding some indie act performing in some place off the beaten path (art student territory, not my thing). Local sports aren't uncommon to go and watch. In the summer, we are pretty flush with beaches, parks, and hiking trails.

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bowling makes an alright date, as does skating [roller/ice]. Mini golf, arcades, theme parks, concerts, shooting range, sporting event. All depends on your personality verse the girls. And unless you're just trying to get in her pants, do stuff you'll actually WANT to do, otherwise you're wasting your time AND money. And that's just no good.

 

My dream date is a girl that has a few beers with me, plays me in MTG, maybe "watch" a movie [or actually watch it if it's good] and then go to a concert with me and open up a pit. realistically, that won't likely happen, but any portion of said date is a great deal of fun to me, so if a girl can appreciate any of that, they win big points. I also can't date a girl that doesn't like to dance. That just can't happen.

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Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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^Dancing is a must, I agree. It's so bloody fun, and this is coming from an often awkward introvert.

 

 

And a good date just needs to be anything that's an excuse to bond. Like assasinating a president or something.

The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

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I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

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I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

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