Need some advice about a friend (details inside)

[XxTearGodxX]

Well here's the deal, I've known this guy about probably 10-12 years. We haven't really hung out at my house up until l2-3 years ago when my family moved into a new bigger apartment that my mom felt comfortable in with having guests over. My cousin told me a while backs he thinks my friend is a mooch because all he does is come over play my video games and eat our food, I didn't think anything of it (he told me this a few weeks ago) and lately as I am with my friend at my house I do notice that he is mooching it seems.

 

 

 

He also lies to, for example he came over once at 2:00pm he was playing the 360 I was on the laptop in the living room reading manga no big deal. 5:00 rolls around and I tell him yo, save your game in a minute I wanna play whatever game his response is what? I just got on the game! I said no..you've been here since 2:00pm and it's 5:00pm that's 3 hours he says what? No I got here at 3:00pm, so I'm not gonna argue I said ok whatever go ahead play.

 

 

 

Sometimes at my house he'll stay over until 11:00pm or sometimes earlier than that usually when it's earlier and I tell him he's got to go home he normally stays 15-30 minutes extra ignoring the fact that I told him he has to leave and when I remind him he's got to go then he gets up and leaves.

 

 

 

Now recently we were in my friends store talking about some random crap about video games and someone in the store called him out for not having a console and playing at other peoples houses constantly. So of course everyone in the store laughs for *****'s and giggles and I guess he got pissed so he took it out on me, he turns over and tells me what are you laughing for mother ****er you don't even got a job! Starts insulting so I throw some back at him about how he's constantly at my house eating my food playing my games and how he's never had a console for about 10+ years.

 

 

 

He called me up last night to see if he can come hang out, I told him no cause my cousin was coming over which I thought he was but he didn't. Long story short I don't want to hang out with him at my house no more so I need to know what's a polite way of telling him we can chill outside at the mall or my friends store or something. Or is the best way to put it to him to tell him bluntly?

[Kiriyama]

I wouldn't even consider him a friend. To be honest with you, you should have listened to your cousin a few weeks back.

 

 

 

You're too kind, and he's taking advantage of it. So tell him bluntly, and see how he reacts.

 

 

 

Though this should really be in the relationship advice sticky (just saying).

[fastortoise]

Just don't let him come to your house anymore (he seems to be inviting himself a lot... I hate people who do that) but stay polite with him when you guys chill together someplace else. Tell him your parents are sick of him if you don't feel like calling him a moocher again.

[tintin113]

Yeah this might be a good time to use your parents. It's not exactly brave but a good solution would just be to say your parents are tired of him mooching. You could make it seem like you're on his side just and it's just your parents who have taken a dislike to him, and suggest you hang out elsewhere. If you like him generally other than his mooching then that might be best for both of you.

 

 

 

This will only work if he's unlikely to argue with your parents of course. ;)

[Nero]

Rickroll him next time he calls.

[Robert_de_Sable]

I don't want to hang out with him at my house no more

 

:wall:

[Nero]

Robert_de_Sable

 

:wall:

[1_man_army]

I don't see why there is a need to ask advice on this to be honest, you should be old enough to deal with this alone. If you don't want him to mooch around your house tell him and stop letting him come around. I don't understand why you would let somebody come to your house just to use your stuff, tell him to go and buy his own. He's a mooch, all you need to do is tell him to get lost, make it as clear as possible he isn't welcome to your house anymore otherwise he'll just take advantage again.

[Robert_de_Sable]

Robert_de_Sable

 

:wall:

 

Unnecessary personal attack?

 

No, wait, that's only the case if I do it.

 

Thanks, mods!

[Nadril]

Tell the mooch to [bleep] off and get his own stuff.

[warren211]

Tell the mooch to [bleep] off and get his own stuff.

 

 

 

QFT. or if you don't wanna be harsh to him, tell him you're grounded from videogames or something to keep him out of your house.

[noble_aloof]

sorry, i can't [bleep] stand people like this. i hate people that will come over and get absorbed in a video game and not even acknowledge the fact that they're at my house, then eat my food and not get off my computer when i tell them to.

 

 

 

i had two friends like this.

 

 

 

friend number 1's parents would even ask my parents for sums of money (which they never paid back). he didn't even have a car and he had the nerve to ask my parents for RIDES to the mall and stuff. his parents also asked my parents on several occassions if he could come over after school every day for 1.5 hours because they had noone to watch him- he moved away and i never talked to him again, nor do i have any interest to.

 

 

 

friend number 2 is still my friend. he would do this kind of thing to everyone but it was just who he was. for a summer he would be over here every day, it kind of got on my nerves. although he had a huge house so then he ended up having us over all the time then and it was a lot of fun. so then he started coming over less and now we just chill maybe a few times a month. he's probably coming over swimming and ping ponging today. it was just a stage it his life where he always wanted to be around friends.

 

 

 

as you see there are two completely different scenarios here (both of which happened to me). friend number one just had a bad life but i really would never associate myself with him these days (if he still lived around here)

 

 

 

friend number 2 is still a friend. but it sounds like your friend is just mooching off you and i wouldn't continue to be friends with him.

[Giordano]

If you're poor and can't afford things, you might consider being polite to others who let you use theirs. :roll:

[Omar]

I guess you could consider pooling money with other people to buy him an XBox for his birthday?

 

[edit]

 

Robert_de_Sable

 

:wall:

 

Unnecessary personal attack?

 

No, wait, that's only the case if I do it.

 

Thanks, mods!

 

You made a useless and dumb post. He said no more. Get over it.

[sohkmj1]

Be more firm. Unfirm(?) people suffer. A LOT.

[darksonic45]

You can be nice AND stop him from mooching in 1 easy phone call.

 

 

 

1. Hide your game console

 

2. Claim something is wrong with it when he asks to play

 

[You can change this part into "my parents grounded me, someone's borrowing it, etc]

 

3. Keep it hidden until he stops hanging out with you

 

 

 

Or you could be really blunt and confront him, but if he's like you said it would probably end in violence.

[Lenin64]

f-f-f-f-flashback! Didn't you, or someone else, post pretty much this exact scenario (except minust the store incident) about a year or so ago? Everyone pretty much said kick the mother to the curb. So re-follow that past advice for your future self now in the present.

 

 

 

And darksonic: that's what we call "passive-aggressive" and is being a spineless [bleep]. Confront him directly, it's the only manly way to do things.

[Ren0gade]

No doubt about it, call him a lazy p.o.s. and tell him to piss off. Not what I would even label a friend man.

[Zierro]

It's okay, friends are usually all [wagon] anyways. They're annoying but still good to have. I'd say keep him as a friend and just deal with his annoyances, but fight them back with annoyances of your own. Every time he does something to bother you, do something to bother him. The negative feedback he gets from being annoying should help a little. If he gets too upset by it and blows up on you, then he's a hypocrite and he brought it on himself so don't worry. I wouldn't try going out of your way to stay friends with him, but you shouldn't go out of your way to stop being friends with him either. Just go with the flow.

[Racheya]

Be more firm. Unfirm(?) people suffer. A LOT.

 

Soft? :lol:

[Omar]

 

And darksonic: that's what we call "passive-aggressive" and is being a spineless [bleep].

 

It still freed India. With a lot less collateral damage than being active-aggressive.

[Dexek]

Be like me. Live 30 miles away from all your friends and they won't come over so often. :lol:

 

 

 

Actually, just tell him that you don't want him coming over anymore, or that your parents don't want him coming over.. something along those lines. Does he get beaten at home? It sounds like he's at your house more than his own. :|

[darksonic45]

f-f-f-f-flashback! Didn't you, or someone else, post pretty much this exact scenario (except minust the store incident) about a year or so ago? Everyone pretty much said kick the mother to the curb. So re-follow that past advice for your future self now in the present.

 

 

 

And darksonic: that's what we call "passive-aggressive" and is being a spineless [bleep]. Confront him directly, it's the only manly way to do things.

 

Seems we got ourselves an internet tough guy :wall:. If every problem was solved that easily would he really have had to make this thread? He wants some ideas on what to do that are alternatives to the one hardwired into us. And like I said, if he goes and kicks the guys [wagon] you think his friend is going to sit there and take it? You think he won't want revenge?

 

Also I'm wondering if you follow your own advice, beat the [cabbage] out of everyone that does something wrong? You'd end up in jail. Have fun playing RS with Bubba from D block breathing down your neck.

[Latinoking]

I'm sorry but that isn't a friend. A friend should respect you.

 

 

 

Just tell him the truth, and if he gets angry then who cares? You said in your story that he tried to make fun of you by saying you don't have a job, but it seems he's the one who needs help financially.

 

 

 

If you do want to be nice, I guess help him save for a console.

[Lenin64]

f-f-f-f-flashback! Didn't you, or someone else, post pretty much this exact scenario (except minust the store incident) about a year or so ago? Everyone pretty much said kick the mother to the curb. So re-follow that past advice for your future self now in the present.

 

 

 

And darksonic: that's what we call "passive-aggressive" and is being a spineless [bleep]. Confront him directly, it's the only manly way to do things.

 

Seems we got ourselves an internet tough guy :wall:. If every problem was solved that easily would he really have had to make this thread? He wants some ideas on what to do that are alternatives to the one hardwired into us. And like I said, if he goes and kicks the guys [wagon] you think his friend is going to sit there and take it? You think he won't want revenge?

 

Also I'm wondering if you follow your own advice, beat the [cabbage] out of everyone that does something wrong? You'd end up in jail. Have fun playing RS with Bubba from D block breathing down your neck.

 

Did I say beat his [wagon]? No. I said confront him. Tell him what's going down, don't make up excuses like, "oh, it's broken" when it's not. Talk to him, face-to-face, and tell him that he can't be mooching all the time like he does. It's effective, and gets your point across better than pretending that his habit is simply inaccessible. "Confrontation" does not mean violence.

 

 

 

And by kick to the curb I meant boot him from the house, despite whatever it may really mean. Same idea, confrontation.