Real life help & advice

[1230abcz]

I'm sorry if this is incredibly vague, but how does one become socially "normal". I kinda just realized that I'm essentially a loner and I don't really know why :/ I'm turning 17 tomorrow and the last time I "hung out" with anybody was at my friend's 11th birthday party (I was 11 too). I can't just go to a mall or something and "hang out" or whatever you're supposed to do. I have no form of transportation other than by foot and I wouldn't know what to do once I got in a social situation. There are people in my school that acknowledge my esixtance, but I don't know if I would really call them friends. I'm sick of playing runescape 24/7 but I don't have anything else to do. Help?

 

Uhh... try being funny. Maybe it'll work out. Or you can just stop being such a narb, lol. If you're a total loner, get a Facebook and try to make friends from your school that way. Maybe if you're successful enough, people might actually be able to hold in their digested food for a minute or so and grace you with their social prowess. Other than that, you're a failure at everything because you're my evil twin, and I dominate everything and more.

 

 

Anyone know what breed of cat this is?

 

 

Heard of /b/? Go to 4chan and post that picture. You'll get an answer before you make the thread. Seriously.

[Giordano]

I guess I'm asking how to get outside of my comfort zone, not if I should. The link pretty much just says that you should take risks, but it doesn't say how to.

The way I think of it, I need some "justifications" first in order to "logically persuade" myself to do it.

 

[hide]

The Mirror Reality

The biggest fear shy people have is the judgment of others. That defines their shyness and social awkwardness. They assume others will think negatively of them and thus dont engage in social affairs as they should. But the reality of the matter is, that they wont think in a negative way. You, as the shy one, view another shy person not as a horrible trait that deserves a strict quarantine and mockery. I personally see it as a negative trait but wouldnt treat or think about them negatively.

 

Now, because you dont see the other shy person as the scum they are, the people around you wont judge you that way neither. Contrary of popular belief among the socially awkward, you are not much different that the people around you (see, Equality Status). Its as if other people are a mirror that your thoughts and opinions reflect back at you.

 

The second part of the Mirror Reality is the fact how long would you hold an opinion against someone? Excluding serve actions that deserves a long-term opinion, most of the time you dont hold that judging opinion of someone for long. Neither would they. Somebody else does something stupid, you forget within a couple of days. You do something stupid, they forget within a couple of days. And social interaction isnt stupid so how long do you think theyll remember?

 

 

Equality Status

This is the most important aspect in the social world. No matter how intelligent or skillful you think you are, you cannot enroll the idea of your supreme dominance over everybody. This particularly applies to social awkward people; because you think youre better than others doesnt mean you are. How can I be so sure? Lets look at this one fact: Whos happier? You or them? Who has the friends? Who has the girlfriend? Chances are, them. And usually people with the Im better than them concept give themselves self-pity that cannot be used for anything. In order to do/get something, you must do it.

 

 

The Explanation Effect

With a little bit of explaining, you can justify almost anything. You may want to do things questionable by your standards or the social standards, but with a simple explanation you can get away with it. Think of it this way: when all these piercings and tattoo craze started, it wasnt the social norm. But they explained it, got by, and now look at it. If you never explain, others will never understand your true intentions and just assumethe wrong things.

 

 

The Free Open World Way

In conclusion to the Social Solution, Ill recap: firstly, others are just like you. They think and react like you. If you truly are better than them, then show it and achieve great success. Secondly, explaining your actions will tell others of your true motives rather than leaving their imagination to make some garbage up. Thirdly, like firstly, they react the same as you. They judge the same as you. They love the same as you.

 

As humans, we love the idea of a great open world: where youre free to roam and decide your own fate. The world of today is similar, but not exact. Security laws and such prevent you to do some of the things as before, but the tactic of ownership, still remains. We like to think our lifestyles are fixed in place, but that is not true. We still live in a world of survival of the fittest: of ownership of our lives and our desires. You have the knowledge of the complex social machine, through this paper and your observations. Once you break through the first nervous barrier (with the ideas in this paper justifying that break), theres nothing in this social world you cant do. Carpe Diem: live the day, as if it were the beginning of a vast, free open world adventure

[/hide]

 

Hope that helped.

[Peronix]

People tend to stay away from me. I honestly have no idea why. It isn't as bad as it used to be, that is, I can ask somebody for help in school or something, but nobodoy has ever approached me for anything (not exagerating). The movie invite isn't going to happen :P Getting a job is a great idea... but I don't have any way to get to that job :/ There is really nothing in walking distance around here. I guess I'm asking how to get outside of my comfort zone, not if I should. The link pretty much just says that you should take risks, but it doesn't say how to. How did you break the habit? Did you just get really lucky or something and were in the right place at the right time?

 

If you're just going to call me a troll, please don't comment T_T (Not you, pk :P)

 

Well, I've pretty much been in the same boat as you. And you know what one of my friends finally told me? That it was because people were intimidated by me. I know, it kinda shocked me, too. I've always thought of myself as a nice guy, though quiet. But it makes perfect sense. Human beings are social creatures, so I guess it just unconsciously makes people nervous when someone behaves in an antisocial manner.

[fastortoise]

I'm sorry if this is incredibly vague, but how does one become socially "normal". I kinda just realized that I'm essentially a loner and I don't really know why :/ I'm turning 17 tomorrow and the last time I "hung out" with anybody was at my friend's 11th birthday party (I was 11 too). I can't just go to a mall or something and "hang out" or whatever you're supposed to do. I have no form of transportation other than by foot and I wouldn't know what to do once I got in a social situation. There are people in my school that acknowledge my esixtance, but I don't know if I would really call them friends. I'm sick of playing runescape 24/7 but I don't have anything else to do. Help?

Really? I have 2 options for you :

1. Stop whining about your social life

or

2. Grow a pair

[decebal]

I'm sorry if this is incredibly vague, but how does one become socially "normal". I kinda just realized that I'm essentially a loner and I don't really know why :/ I'm turning 17 tomorrow and the last time I "hung out" with anybody was at my friend's 11th birthday party (I was 11 too). I can't just go to a mall or something and "hang out" or whatever you're supposed to do. I have no form of transportation other than by foot and I wouldn't know what to do once I got in a social situation. There are people in my school that acknowledge my esixtance, but I don't know if I would really call them friends. I'm sick of playing runescape 24/7 but I don't have anything else to do. Help?

Doesn't you school have different clubs and teams? You could go join one.

[Sam]

Anyone know what breed of cat this is?

 

A mackerel tabby, characterized by the "M" you see on the forehead.

 

Oh, I just got a new kitten too :D

[Lenticular_J]

I am insanely vain about my voice. At least I have good reason - have a beautiful baritone. I can't sing or anything, but I'm a very nice speaker. I read a lot in the two or three classes where we actually read stuff out loud. It's fun.

[Impersonator]

@abc's issue- start pretending you're an extrovert, and do things that extroverted people do, especially if you don't want to. Eventually, cognitive dissoance kicks in and you realize you're not putting effort in to stay in the routine of going out and talking to people.

 

It's kind of like any sort of skill- you don't just learn it, you practice it, and thats how you get good at it.

[Omar]

People tend to stay away from me. I honestly have no idea why. It isn't as bad as it used to be, that is, I can ask somebody for help in school or something, but nobodoy has ever approached me for anything (not exagerating). The movie invite isn't going to happen :P Getting a job is a great idea... but I don't have any way to get to that job :/ There is really nothing in walking distance around here. I guess I'm asking how to get outside of my comfort zone, not if I should. The link pretty much just says that you should take risks, but it doesn't say how to. How did you break the habit? Did you just get really lucky or something and were in the right place at the right time?

 

If you're just going to call me a troll, please don't comment T_T (Not you, pk :P)

 

Well, I've pretty much been in the same boat as you. And you know what one of my friends finally told me? That it was because people were intimidated by me. I know, it kinda shocked me, too. I've always thought of myself as a nice guy, though quiet. But it makes perfect sense. Human beings are social creatures, so I guess it just unconsciously makes people nervous when someone behaves in an antisocial manner.

You know what, abc? He's probably right. When you go to school (presumably) tomorrow, look out for people who need a hand with something, and offer to help them. Show them you're that type of nice guy, and that they have no reason to be scared of you.

[Edit] 2626th post.

[Edit] Now that I think of it, I know a guy like you in my grade, and people really are intimidated by him. And so am I. Thanks for that, Peronix.

[Abc1230]

I have to make a brain out of clay for psychology, and I have no idea how to do this :/ My teacher said that we'll be doing it in class, so some link to a fancy 3d brain site won't help :wall: I have to go entirely off of what I can print out from home, and I can't really find anything useful. He gave us no instructions, so your guess is as good as mine as for how detailed it needs to be :/ Uh... I guess this is kinda a homework help thing... get over it >.>

[Omar]

http://www.ipmc.cnrs.fr/~duprat/neurophysiology/images/brain2.jpg

Just print that out, it's symmetrical.

[Giordano]

My teacher said that we'll be doing it in class,

Okay cool, you don't have anything to worry about.

[Abc1230]

I know we have to do the interior anatomy too :/ Forgot to mention that... He said he'd provide the clay... the rest is up to us >.> Oh well, it'll work itself out (I hope)

[VEGHATERMEATLOVER]

Where can I get long peices fo cheese wire from?

[Abc1230]

Here

Or ebay...

[SirHartlar]

What is the politest way to ask for a pay rise? I've been at this job for nearly a year and am only getting minimum wage, which I think is too low for some of the responsibilties that have been put on me over the last few months.

[VEGHATERMEATLOVER]

just a straight

"I think i've been working quite hard and would like a raise."

 

Keep it coool.... like the fonz, don't get all tight about it.

[Maleficus1055]

What is the politest way to ask for a pay rise? I've been at this job for nearly a year and am only getting minimum wage, which I think is too low for some of the responsibilties that have been put on me over the last few months.

 

 

I'd say to just try and be confident, by which I mean dont sound weak when asking or you will surely be denied, and be as polite as you possibly can. And of course have a well thought-out reason if your boss asks why. I'm not speaking from experience though, never had a job so I dunno if I'm good with my advice

[All_Is_Great]

Hey anyone know the legal age for someone to stay home for 2 weeks (maybe 3) without parents? In Alberta, Canada, by the way.

[Dizzle229]

Situation: Just found out that for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, my family is going to Montauk for the Thanksgiving break. I think this is bs. I've asked to stay home for myself, its only 2 nights alone, and the reasons I don't want to go are... well.

 

1. Going there is like a limited version of my house. All we're going to do is sit around killing time. The difference between that and staying home is, in Montauk there's not computer, Xbox, we won't get half of the channels we get now.

 

2. The only thing we're doing there that we can't do here is look at the lighthouse. We go out there several times a year, and it lost its appeal about 6 years ago. There's only so many times you can look at a lighthouse and still have fun.

 

3. I have a packet of homework to do, and it's sure as hell not going to get done out there.'

 

The thing is, how do I convince my parents to let me stay? Right now my main excuse is the homework, but I'd like a nice little list of possible excuses. Come to think of it, someone needs to feed the cat, I'll be sure to bring that up.

 

I have not waited 2 weeks for this vacation to lose it at the last minute.

[Abc1230]

Situation: Just found out that for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, my family is going to Montauk for the Thanksgiving break. I think this is bs. I've asked to stay home for myself, its only 2 nights alone, and the reasons I don't want to go are... well.

 

1. Going there is like a limited version of my house. All we're going to do is sit around killing time. The difference between that and staying home is, in Montauk there's not computer, Xbox, we won't get half of the channels we get now.

 

2. The only thing we're doing there that we can't do here is look at the lighthouse. We go out there several times a year, and it lost its appeal about 6 years ago. There's only so many times you can look at a lighthouse and still have fun.

 

3. I have a packet of homework to do, and it's sure as hell not going to get done out there.'

 

The thing is, how do I convince my parents to let me stay? Right now my main excuse is the homework, but I'd like a nice little list of possible excuses. Come to think of it, someone needs to feed the cat, I'll be sure to bring that up.

They won't listen to you. It doesn't matter if you're right. They're your parents, and you're their [bleep]. That's just the way it is, unfortunately :/

[Dizzle229]

Situation: Just found out that for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, my family is going to Montauk for the Thanksgiving break. I think this is bs. I've asked to stay home for myself, its only 2 nights alone, and the reasons I don't want to go are... well.

 

1. Going there is like a limited version of my house. All we're going to do is sit around killing time. The difference between that and staying home is, in Montauk there's not computer, Xbox, we won't get half of the channels we get now.

 

2. The only thing we're doing there that we can't do here is look at the lighthouse. We go out there several times a year, and it lost its appeal about 6 years ago. There's only so many times you can look at a lighthouse and still have fun.

 

3. I have a packet of homework to do, and it's sure as hell not going to get done out there.'

 

The thing is, how do I convince my parents to let me stay? Right now my main excuse is the homework, but I'd like a nice little list of possible excuses. Come to think of it, someone needs to feed the cat, I'll be sure to bring that up.

They won't listen to you. It doesn't matter if you're right. They're your parents, and you're their [bleep]. That's just the way it is, unfortunately :/

 

You better believe I'm going to fight this for everything I have. It's really only my dad that actually wants to go, everyone else hates the idea, but my mom has a weak "just do what they say and avoid trouble" attitude. She will not openly disagree with him.

[nine naked men]

Just... don't go? I mean, seriously, what are they going to do, skulldrag you into the car?

 

Just say you're not going, and don't. ;P

[Dizzle229]

Just... don't go? I mean, seriously, what are they going to do, skulldrag you into the car?

 

Just say you're not going, and don't. ;P

 

Pretty much nothing they can do, but I wouldn't put it past my dad to chain my leg to the bumper.

[1230abcz]

Situation: Just found out that for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, my family is going to Montauk for the Thanksgiving break. I think this is bs. I've asked to stay home for myself, its only 2 nights alone, and the reasons I don't want to go are... well.

 

1. Going there is like a limited version of my house. All we're going to do is sit around killing time. The difference between that and staying home is, in Montauk there's not computer, Xbox, we won't get half of the channels we get now.

 

2. The only thing we're doing there that we can't do here is look at the lighthouse. We go out there several times a year, and it lost its appeal about 6 years ago. There's only so many times you can look at a lighthouse and still have fun.

 

3. I have a packet of homework to do, and it's sure as hell not going to get done out there.'

 

The thing is, how do I convince my parents to let me stay? Right now my main excuse is the homework, but I'd like a nice little list of possible excuses. Come to think of it, someone needs to feed the cat, I'll be sure to bring that up.

 

I have not waited 2 weeks for this vacation to lose it at the last minute.

 

Never works. I'm sorry, but you're going whether you like it or not. Even if I had a project due the day we got back and represented 30% of my grade, I'd have to go and deal with it. If I were you I'd just do the homework in your room and ignore everyone. As for the vacation, sucks for you. My vacation blows because I have college apps that I started 2 days ago. What's your excuse?

 

 

Edit: I need someone to crop out the below picture. I'm gonna make a motivational poster and my dad deleted photoshop. Apparently I suck I everything that is MS Paint. Someone please help me out.

 

 

 

 

I only want the puppy in the picture. Cut out all the green and all the walls. If you have photoshop and you don't know what to do, use the magic wand tool, turn anti-alias off, click "add selection" and just keep clicking the green regions until everything but the puppy is selected; do the same for everything else. Or you could use the magic wand and click only on the puppy and make it so only the puppy is selected. Then click Control+Shift+i and click delete.

 

Someone please help a brotha out. It's for a scholarship. Don't ask.