Granted, you come up with absolutely nothing instead

 

I wish for a bungee jump

Granted, you harm yourself doing that.

 

I wish for a paradise filled with elephants and monkeys.

Granted, but you end up leaving it due to not being able to stand the noise they make, especially since they keep you up at night and drive you into insanity due to a ton of lost sleep. :sad:

 

 

I wish a lot more of the Desktop Wallpapers that I like actually came in the Screen Resolutions that I need for properly displaying them. :?

 

 

~D. V. "There's one in particular which I wanted, but it ain't big enough." Devnull

Granted, but your screen is blown into a physical size so large that you can only see one pixel in your field of view at any given time.

 

I wish for breakfast

Granted, you get something incredibly disgusting for breakfast. It's so disgusting you throw it up.

 

I wish for a new movie starring Abraham Lincoln and Abe Lincoln.

Granted. Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president of the United States. Abe Lincoln is a New York bartender whose wife just died under mysterious circumstances. He couldn't have known that 200 years before, Honest Abe uncovered a conspiracy... And he's next.

The Lincolns unite in...

 

LINCOLN'S LOGS

 

Coming Summer 2015. This film is not yet rated.

 

I wish that movie wouldn't suck.

Granted, but since it's released in 2015 you have to wait two years.

 

I wish the bike theme from the Pokémon games also happened in real life every time I went biking.

Granted. It gets old after about 10 minutes, and you can't block it out or change the music into something you actually want to hear. It overrides all other music and you can't go nearly as fast on foot.

 

And now the gen 1 theme is in my head, in all its chiptunes glory.

 

I wish dodos weren't extinct.

Granted, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2298805/Scientists-want-bring-24-animals-extinction-Dodos-make-list--dinosaur-DNA-old-Jurassic-Park-isnt-option.html.

 

I wish that I hadn't of read the article I posted above.

Granted, you read something far far worse.

 

I wish for security cameras all around my place, and the security guard who is keeping an eye on everything would be eating donuts all the time.

Granted, I get into your house and murder you by posing as a donut delivery man.

 

I wish to had twice the muscle mass I currently do.

granted, you now have a bucket of muscles. congratz

 

i wish life didnt suck so much

Granted. Things that (physically) suck stop working, which causes more problems than I can list here. It then causes life to (metaphorically) suck, compared to being about average when all's said and done, and you realize that you probably should have been more specific. Credit to the surprisingly creative Erika, and the monster of a cat she learned from.

 

I wish I was a magical girl... Without any of the downsides.

Granted. But you are turned into a very ugly girl who won't make it far in the real world. You said no downsides on the magical girl, not the mundane one.

 

I wish I could control the flow of swag.

Ok, I looked up the definition and one of them is property obtained by theft or other illicit means.

 

Granted, but it doesn't change the fact that you go to jail.

 

I apologize if I misunderstood your wish, but I don't even know what you mean by swag.

 

I wish that the following things would happen:

 

A guy with wife and kids would go one day to see a doctor. And it's his most trusted doctor. And his doctor would say "I hate to tell you this, but you're gay."

 

You decide what happens next.

The man looks at him with shock. "What? H- Why... For god's sake man, I just wanted a prescription for allergy medicine!"

"Oh, that? It's on the table. I've been saying that to everyone without a serious problem today." Both the man and the doctor share a laugh, until the doctor adopts a serious expression, "But seriously, I've known you since college and we both know it's true. When are you going to tell your wife? She's starting to get suspicious"

 

I wish I could do a handstand upside down.

Granted, you only wished that you could do it, you didn't wish that you could do it well. So you can only do it for 2 minutes. But hey at least it's something.

 

I wish nothing bad could happen to me ever.

Granted, life becomes boring as anything slightly challenging doesn't happen to you as they would be 'bad'.

 

I wish that I had a typing speed of 150 wpm.

Granted, but you lose the ability to spell properly, thus ending up worse than when you started.

 

I wish for a time machine.

Granted, you go to the time of the dinosaurs, the time machine blows up, so you're stuck in that time for at least a million years.

 

Now here is something you can't possibly screw up without being unoriginal.

 

I wish for Skittles cookie.

 

Yeah, good luck corrupting this without using the generic poison or it tastes awful options, or the fact that it's unhealthy.

 

Oh boy, I'm gonna keep this thread without replies for weeks.

Granted, but because you failed to specify the amount, and how you want it, you get one tiny cookie that won't satisfy your craving, and it's dropped into the street in front of you and crushed by cars. Credit to ALG for the second part of the idea.

 

Don't really have a wish, so sorry for not letting you guys corrupt it.

Granted, I can't corrupt your wish and the genie gets angry. You don't want to see him when he gets angry...

 

I wish that I had more motivation and stick to it ness.

You didn't say what you want motivation to do, so you have the motivation to do terrible things.

 

I wish Barack Obama was my father, George W. Bush was my mother, Bill Clinton was my brother, Geroge H. W. Bush was my sister, Ronald Regan was my grandfather and Jimmy Carter was my grandmother.

Granted. The universe reboots itself to compensate for all of the paradoxes and impossibilities of this wish. In the end, all of those presidents become completely unremarkable people.

Also, none of them get along.

 

I wish whenever someone said "when pigs fly", a pig would fall from the sky and start playing the organ.

Granted, but the pig and organ falls on whoever said the phrase, killing them instantly. Everyone then stops using the phrase, and you're forced to live with the guilt that your wish caused a lot of suffering.

Oh, and later on, the people discover it was you who made the wish, and they go after you in mobs. It was nice knowing you.

 

I wish my sister could play the violin better, without any downsides on her part.

I know you guys are just going to corrupt this wish anyway, so have fun!