Noobs say the funniest things!

[xevocm8velexx]

rofl this one is hilarious some guy put this in the tip it forums it was titled "conspiracy" and was locked

 

 

 

 

 

the truth of a few things in rs that jagex wouldn't let me type on forums because it must be true

 

 

 

1.zezima

 

zezima is obviously a non player character or program created by jagex as a benchmark for other genuine players. i have seen 'zezima' 3 times all the times stood around a bank walking the same few squares and doing the same thing over and over before logging off. and i have more evidence!............there are 28 spaces in the invent right? but not if your zezima! myself and a few others witnessed zezima fletching making shafts for a half hour continuously with no bank trips!

 

 

 

 

 

2. the construction skill

 

jagex are trying to lower prices in rs that is why they relreased the construction skill (confirmed by a jegex staff member on rs forums) so people would spend more money because too much money was coming in from high alcing and stuff and making the prices of everything too high. since the skill was introduced prices have fallen but not much..................and the problem is..rare items such as phats. these are keeping the prices high because they are so rare... the amount of phats and stuff in the game control the price of everything else which brings me to my next point.........

 

 

 

 

 

3. the world 111 masscacre

 

this was put aside as a mere 'glitch' in the game. when in fact it was accounts with altered stats created by jagex and released upon falador in a desperate attempt to pk all the phats they could (and give us something to talk about). one by one by random events or simply just making them disappear they will rid the world of phats.................................they hate them! that is why all holiday items are now untradeable because of the problems phats have created. and as a starnge coincidence one of my friends who also knows and spreads the truth was one of the 1st ones to be killed by the lvl 115 who seemed to be the leader.

 

 

 

 

 

4.the invincible stage

 

as you will have noticed many times.. when you get a monster to low life, especially the high level ones and random events. you suddenly start hitting 0s and they suddenly start hitting you really hard. this is jagex's little thing to kill you so you keep going back to that black drag or other monster, keeping you playing. you will all have noticed this and you know its true!

 

 

 

thats the end for this time! see you again and if u say any of this on the game things will disappear from ur bank and they will be talking about the massacre that was on your world next. u know its true, they have people everywhere.

 

goodbye

 

 

 

That is hilarious! I guess the newb didn't know that shafts are stackable. You can fletch them without bank trips for one solid year if you wanted to.

 

 

 

No you cant, everytime there's an update, you automatically log out, and i doubt there's no updates for one year :roll:

[coolpokemon]

i have 2 stories there not that funny but it made me chuckle

 

 

 

 

 

1=== wow i never knew a lvl 104 could be a noob!!!

 

 

 

lvl 104: hey

 

me: hi

 

lvl 104: can i have your pass

 

me: no

 

lvl 104: reported

 

me: what the heck did i do????

 

lvl 104: your just a noob

 

me: lol so wheres the opt in the report thing "being a noob"

 

lvl 104 i hacked into the game and added it

 

me: reported for bugs

 

lvl 104 hey just found out i have 1 magic

 

me irl cheering and laughing

 

and i teled :wall:

 

 

 

2===== lvl 3 old ppl!!!

 

 

 

lvl 3: how old are you?

 

me: i cant tell you

 

lvl 3: i want to murdur you

 

me: why and yano i can own you anyways :P

 

lvl 3: yah right im 40 years old!!!

 

me: so where do you live?

 

lvl 3: my moms house

 

me: =D> \

 

lvl 3: so how can u kill me -.-

 

me:blue strip in taekwondo

 

lvl 3: so im a white belt!!!

 

 

 

then i finally goted tiired of the noob teled and thats how story number 1 happend :wall:

 

 

 

well these are the conversations i could remeber

[freaky240]

I don't talk much to " noobs " I usually ignore em. but I always enjoy this one when im training firemaking at Draynor:

 

 

 

Noob:freaky

 

Me: yes ?

 

noob: can i have free stuff ?

 

me: srry no

 

noob: plz i need ur armor

 

me: okay u can ahve it

 

* noob trades *

 

me: first do something

 

noob : why ?

 

me: u gotta earn ur stuff u know...

 

noob:ok

 

me:run to falador , varrock and ardougne then come back for stuff

 

noob: ok

 

 

 

Then he usually never shows up , but ive once had with a lvl 43 rly wanting my armour. He asked me the same things and I answered the same things...

 

So the noob runs to falador and varrock , well , atleast he said.

 

And he returns ...

 

 

 

Noob : i went fo varrock and falador

 

me: plz go away

 

*noob trades*

 

me: stop trading plz

 

noob: i must have your armor i went fo falador and varrock

 

me: go again , to lumbridge , varrock and falador

 

noob: ok

 

*noob leaves*

 

 

 

After a while...He shows up again claiming to have visited falador , varrock , and lumbridge.

 

 

 

Me: omg dude

 

noob : i must need your armor i was to falador lumbridhe and varrock

 

me: okay u can have my armor if u bring me these items

 

me:an eye of newt , wizard mind bomb , dwarven stout , copper ore , tin ore a rannar weed and and eye patch.

 

 

 

noob: ok

 

me: lol

 

*noob leaves *

 

after about 20 mins he shows up again...

 

me: did u bring the items ?

 

noob : yes

 

*noob trades *

 

he showed all stuff I asked but the rannar weed

 

me: u dont got the rannar weed , sorry no armour for u :(

 

noob: noob

 

me: lol

 

noob: f you

 

me:lol

 

noob :I report you

 

me : lol

 

noob: noob

 

 

 

Then I switched world lol...he pmed me but Then I put chat on friends and ive never heard of him again...

 

 

 

Amusing guy lol

[freaky240]

rofl this one is hilarious some guy put this in the tip it forums it was titled "conspiracy" and was locked

 

 

 

 

 

the truth of a few things in rs that jagex wouldn't let me type on forums because it must be true

 

 

 

1.zezima

 

zezima is obviously a non player character or program created by jagex as a benchmark for other genuine players. i have seen 'zezima' 3 times all the times stood around a bank walking the same few squares and doing the same thing over and over before logging off. and i have more evidence!............there are 28 spaces in the invent right? but not if your zezima! myself and a few others witnessed zezima fletching making shafts for a half hour continuously with no bank trips!

 

 

 

 

 

2. the construction skill

 

jagex are trying to lower prices in rs that is why they relreased the construction skill (confirmed by a jegex staff member on rs forums) so people would spend more money because too much money was coming in from high alcing and stuff and making the prices of everything too high. since the skill was introduced prices have fallen but not much..................and the problem is..rare items such as phats. these are keeping the prices high because they are so rare... the amount of phats and stuff in the game control the price of everything else which brings me to my next point.........

 

 

 

 

 

3. the world 111 masscacre

 

this was put aside as a mere 'glitch' in the game. when in fact it was accounts with altered stats created by jagex and released upon falador in a desperate attempt to pk all the phats they could (and give us something to talk about). one by one by random events or simply just making them disappear they will rid the world of phats.................................they hate them! that is why all holiday items are now untradeable because of the problems phats have created. and as a starnge coincidence one of my friends who also knows and spreads the truth was one of the 1st ones to be killed by the lvl 115 who seemed to be the leader.

 

 

 

 

 

4.the invincible stage

 

as you will have noticed many times.. when you get a monster to low life, especially the high level ones and random events. you suddenly start hitting 0s and they suddenly start hitting you really hard. this is jagex's little thing to kill you so you keep going back to that black drag or other monster, keeping you playing. you will all have noticed this and you know its true!

 

 

 

thats the end for this time! see you again and if u say any of this on the game things will disappear from ur bank and they will be talking about the massacre that was on your world next. u know its true, they have people everywhere.

 

goodbye

 

 

 

That is hilarious! I guess the newb didn't know that shafts are stackable. You can fletch them without bank trips for one solid year if you wanted to.

 

 

 

No you cant, everytime there's an update, you automatically log out, and i doubt there's no updates for one year :roll:

 

Toast needs attention.

 

Or he is obsessed by conspiracy...

[coolpokemon]

just remeber another one kinda like freak's story

 

 

 

i was at edge when this happend

 

 

 

 

 

noob- can i have ur hair

 

me-wtf....

 

noob-piz im bald!!

 

me- um ok..... go run to varrock and back here

 

noob-after 1 min i went there

 

me-ok now get me full rune

 

noob-ok *went to bank*

 

*trades offers up full monk*

 

me- i said rune

 

noob- yah this is rune

 

me- since when

 

noob-since i made the game

 

me- ok so whats ur name

 

noob-samantha

 

me- but u have a guy character

 

noob- so

 

me- the guy who made rs name is Andrew and your a stupid fool

 

noob-reported!!! every1 coolpokemon is a stupid ****ing *****

 

me- ok your right!!!! now if u want my hair go get my a abby whip

 

noob- stfu

 

me reported and then i teled

 

 

 

:-k confusing i know :shock:

[Ianw77]

I was woodcutting at draynor bank.

 

 

 

Person 1: Seeliong rune axes

 

Me: seeliong spelling books.

 

Noob: Trade Me!!

 

Noob: Plz trade me!!!!

 

Me: What do you want?

 

Noob: I'll buy spell book how much??

 

 

 

I was dying lmao :D

[Garconis]

Me: (Walking with Rune scimmy)

 

Noob: I'll buy your rune scimmy 20K

 

Me: Nah

 

Noob: Please?

 

Me: No

 

(Guy comes I'll buy Rune scimmy for 35K in front of noob)

 

Me: I say OK

 

Noob: **bleep** you noob

 

Noob: Go **bleep** your mother in the **bleep**

 

Another Noob: What's wrong?

 

Noob: That noob Garconis didn't sell me his scimmy,e he sold to other guy for a better offer.

 

Other noob: Don't worry I'll report him

 

Noob: Tyvm, his **bleep** is banned

 

Me: Lol, what you guys get banned for false reporting, and offensive language, noobs.

[Ianw77]

I was woodcutting at draynor bank.

 

 

 

Person 1: Seeliong rune axes

 

Me: seeliong spelling books.

 

Noob: Trade Me!!

 

Noob: Plz trade me!!!!

 

Me: What do you want?

 

Noob: I'll buy spell book how much??

 

 

 

I was dying lmao :D

[bestsob]

I thought this was funny, just happened to me with a noob as soon as i log on in edgeville, a few steps away from the wilderness. im lvl 73, hes lvl 10.

 

 

 

noob- i rule!

 

 

 

.....Did you feed him?

[Dayking321]

Heres a funny conversation I had with a noob while training on ogers near cwars:

 

Noob: Ive gtg, ive got a hot date with zezima gf (Note: Zezima is a boy)

 

Me: Zezima is a boy

 

Noob: Yah

 

Noob: Zezima gf!

 

(Noob rambles for awhile)

 

Player: Zezima is a girl m8

 

Me: Some fansite interveiwed zezima and confermed he was a boy

 

Player: Yeah lv 82.

 

(The noob now admits that zezima i a boy)

[Lacarnaya]

Where do you folks find these noobs? I almost never have a run-in with someone who knows barely anything. How do you find them? Like seriously. I never see people who use a severe case of 1337 5P34K.

[aciidfla5h]

here's a classic:

 

 

 

noob: wow you're hot

 

me: wow you're not

 

*silence*

[matzekatze]

the most commen:

 

noob:hey i buy your full rune(g)

 

me:no

 

noob: i give you 2K

 

me:lol

 

noob: its only 1,5K

 

me:lol noob

 

noob:reported

[gangea]

Once i was wearing my full black g when they were hot:

 

 

 

He: Il buy your armour

 

Me: Offer

 

He: 100 gp

 

Me: Lol more

 

He: ok 120 gp

 

Me: At least 350k

 

He: Ok ( trades and gives me 350 gp :))

 

Me: Nvm and tele away :)

[Cypress85]

Oh and i remember once i was in world 1 trying to sell rune g plate for 500k.(this was MONTHS ago)

 

 

 

Noob: i buy 500k

 

Me: *accepts trade offer, puts up plate, he puts up money*

 

noob: *puts up money, and 1 air rune*

 

Me: *but before he can reduce the amount of money, i accept it the 500k and 1 air rune. he keeps trying to get me to not notice the money change*

 

Noob: *declines* dude stop accepting

 

me: hey you said 500k for rune g plate

 

noob:yes but i had other things 4 u

 

Me:oh ok lets see *trade screen opens again and puts up rune g plate*

 

Noob: *puts up money*

 

me:*and i accept, he puts up his runes. I then notice the money go to 50k.i take a screenie, (which i cant seem to find ) and decline*

 

noob:accept!

 

me:reported item scammer and got a screenshot booya!

 

noob:noob...

[FTTW]

Guy: Trimming weapons!

 

Me: Can you trim my chisel?

 

Guy: Yes

 

*I hand over the chisel, guy runs off laughing*

 

 

 

 

^That was a 106, by the way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I get stupid things like this DAILY.

[Lep]

That made me lmao irl :lol:

[The Dark Lord]

Here's a funny conversation that I had with a newb:

 

(This guy is wearing full gilded and starts cutting magic trees with me.)

 

Newb: Hey, is that a rune hatchet?

 

Me: Yeah.

 

Newb: Can I buy?

 

Me: Not for sale.

 

Newb: Can I buy?

 

Me: What part of not for sale do you not understand?

 

Newb: All of it, I'm from Holand.

 

Newb: Are you dutch?

 

Me: No...

 

Newb: A friend gave me this account.

 

(Thank-you, your abuse report has been received)

 

Me: Thanks for the confession.

 

Me: Lol, I reported you for account sharing/trading.

 

Me: Lol

 

Newb: I didn't understand what you said, I'm from Holland.

 

(Silence)

 

(Newb runs away)

[PhaperPlane]

Here is a funny one. I was in Falador waiting for a mate to come and kill Hellhounds with me. I hear this:

 

Noob: Here you go! 10Trillion coins!

 

Me: Lets see what you got.

 

*I see what he gives to this low level*

 

Me: That's not 10 Trillion. That's 200k.

 

P1: Aw =(

 

Noob: No its not! Its 10 Trillion!

 

Me: Well then why does it have a Two and two zeros?

 

Noob: Cause its a bug.

 

Me: Well then, why wasn't it on the Jagex Page?

 

Noob: I dunno

 

*At this point, he was falling in my trap*

 

Me: You really don't have 10 Trillion do you?

 

Noob: Yes I do! I can beat you Noob!

 

Me: Yeah, your a lvl 49 and I'm lvl 70. Big Difference.

 

Noob: I have 79 Prayer!

 

Me: I'll check you on the high scores.

 

*I check and he dosen't*

 

Me: Your not even listed.

 

Noob: Noob

 

*He walks to another person*

 

Noob: Here you go 1 Billion!

 

P2: What? You didn't give me anything!

 

*I then notice a High level standing still and PM me, he was a mod*

 

Mod: Enjoying yourself?

 

Noob: How did you get that crown?!

 

Mod: I'm a Mod that's what.

 

Noob: No your not! I report you!

 

Mod: Well have fun.

 

*At this point I'm laughing and thus ends the case*

 

Another one:

 

Me and my freind are about to go to Pest Control until someone follows me.

 

Noob: Can I have some free stuff?

 

Me: No

 

Noob: Y?

 

Me: I worked for my stuff, you should too.

 

Noob: Some people are nice and some people are mean, reported for being mean.

 

Good times indeed! Here is my favourite one of all.

 

Noob: Free Money plz!!

 

Me: Dude, there is no point in asking for free stuff, nobody is ever going to give you free stuff.

 

Noob: How did you make your money then?

 

Me: Fished.

 

Noob: How do I fish.

 

Me: You use a net with fishing point which says net.

 

Noob: That's difficult.

 

Me: You were taught how to fish on tutorial island. I'm going now to play Pest Control. Bye.

 

Noob: I add you.

 

*He adds me*

 

Noob PM: Your my best m8

 

Me: You know, I can just add you to my ignore list.

 

Noob: You can't! Your my mate!

 

Me: I'm not your mate. Get to know people first.

 

*I remove him*

 

Good TImes indeed!

[spikerkid]

This one is classic :D I was just watching, oh and laughing

 

 

 

P-Mod: Free Gem Cutting

 

Noob:I have some gems you can cut

 

P-Mod:ok trade

 

Noob:You Better not scam me

 

P-mod:rofl ahahahaha im a player mod

 

Everyone around the mod: ahahahhaha lol

 

Noob: *starts asking whats a prayer mod*

[xXAbyssalXx]

erkid"]This one is classic :D I was just watching, oh and laughing

 

 

 

P-Mod: Free Gem Cutting

 

Noob:I have some gems you can cut

 

P-Mod:ok trade

 

Noob:You Better not scam me

 

P-mod:rofl ahahahaha im a player mod

 

Everyone around the mod: ahahahhaha lol

 

Noob: *starts asking whats a prayer mod*

 

 

 

Aww i feel sorry for that noob :lol:

[spikerkid]

Lol it was the funniest thing i've seen on runescape

 

 

 

ps wooot first post sence jan 10th

[PhaperPlane]

This one takes the cake:

 

Noob: Where did you get that bright blue armor

 

I was wearing Rune armor by the way.

[Sear]

I'm going to put this post on my favourits :D

 

 

 

I have a noob in my friend list. He isn't exactly a noob, his combat lvl is 34. He is more like a money noob. his sentence was simply "making gold rings is a lot of money". reminded me the time when I thought that iron armor was sooooo cool. Not that I'm an old lvl 126, im lvl 62 :?

[toast647]

I was talkign to this guy at the caged lesser demon and he said his main members accoutn got cut off from being a member and he said he died and lost everything from a random event dwarf rofl! he then went on his laptop and multilogged so i reported him :P then he got a bit rude and kept on swearing im regreting it now that i didnt geta pic of the whole convo