"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Panzerlord]

hmm wierd things are going on. I just got an 84% on my math test, which is bad for me. My mom talked to me about it and she asked me if I really care how well I do or if my goal is to halfass by in school and do how I'm currently doing. I said I'm happy enough with that...but unlike usual, she didn't get mad. She said ok? As long as I get 80% plus they won't interfere. Is this bad? Is my mom just saying, "[bleep] it, I give up?" will doing this be bad on my college transcript/come back to bite me in the in the [wagon]? I'm in 7th grade, just btw.

 

 

 

ps: forgive typos. This was done on my iTouch.

[noble_aloof]

hmm wierd things are going on. I just got an 84% on my math test, which is bad for me. My mom talked to me about it and she asked me if I really care how well I do or if my goal is to halfass by in school and do how I'm currently doing. I said I'm happy enough with that...but unlike usual, she didn't get mad. She said ok? As long as I get 80% plus they won't interfere. Is this bad? Is my mom just saying, "[bleep] it, I give up?" will doing this be bad on my college transcript/come back to bite me in the in the [wagon]? I'm in 7th grade, just btw.

 

 

 

ps: forgive typos. This was done on my iTouch.

 

well thats really off topic. but no, not really. all that really matters in junior high is if you make the national junior honor society (around here) and that you get into algebra 1 in 8th grade. the only class that counts before 9th grade is your 8th grade math class.

[Iamdan]

 

Everytime I go to the movies with friends there always seem to be girls nearby who make it their goal to get us to go over to them, they never win, if they want me they can come and get me. :lol:

 

Girls do little tests, I think subconsciously to test your personality. If you act like the real deal but then fail her tests then you lose.

 

 

 

They do things like getting you to jump through hoops, such as buying them a drink. They might also change the conversation to sex to see if you get all excited. Sometimes a girl will neg you too.

 

 

 

Examples:

 

 

 

2 couches in your house, and she sits on the opposite one to you to see if you go over to hers.

 

 

 

You're a jerk.

 

I'm a jerk. (no emphasis on 'I'm' btw)

 

 

 

Can you buy me a drink?

 

I will if you sing me x song. (grab the hoop and make her jump through it)

 

 

 

Look, I'm not putting out.

 

I'm actually gay, if you don't wanna talk that's fine I'll go meet someone else. (This is something I've said and she dragged me back to her)

 

 

 

These tests are usually good things (other than the last example which was her assuming I was trying to get laid before I opened my mouth) If they aren't at least somewhat interested in you, they wouldn't test you.

[RpgGamer]

So yeah...That girl I was talking about, apparently shes going to be in Virginia, but I did end up telling her that I liked her, and I asked her if she liked me, and all she said was "Sorry"...Honestly, the first time I've been rejected, and it [bleep] sucks...

 

 

 

Sorry 'bout that mate, but it's something we all go through once or twice. I figure as long as you learn from it in some manner, you did your job.

 

 

 

Look, I'm not putting out.

 

I'm actually gay, if you don't wanna talk that's fine I'll go meet someone else. (This is something I've said and she dragged me back to her)

 

 

 

These tests are usually good things (other than the last example which was her assuming I was trying to get laid before I opened my mouth) If they aren't at least somewhat interested in you, they wouldn't test you.

 

 

 

That's certainly original. And backhanded. How did the rest of that encounter proceed exactly? You seem to meet some interesting, for lack of better term, girls. I've rarely if ever had opurtunities like that. Makes me think...

 

 

 

Oh and your theory about my suggested answer being too needy, I see your point and once explained I had to agree with you a bit. I wouldn't have bluntly said "needy" but I see what you're driving at. I may need to renivate my speech patterns.

[Levon_]

So yeah...That girl I was talking about, apparently shes going to be in Virginia, but I did end up telling her that I liked her, and I asked her if she liked me, and all she said was "Sorry"...Honestly, the first time I've been rejected, and it [bleep] sucks...

 

 

 

Yeah the first time is the worst. You'll get over it fast and if people try to tease you which WILL happen at least a bit in grade 7 just ignore them. You will realize it's not that bad the next time it happens.

 

 

 

It's kinda funny that all you got was sorry, that's what happened to me the second time.

 

First time was 'I'll think about it'

 

Second was 'sorry'

 

 

 

Now what will be said the third time :(

[Kenshinjapan]

So yeah...That girl I was talking about, apparently shes going to be in Virginia, but I did end up telling her that I liked her, and I asked her if she liked me, and all she said was "Sorry"...Honestly, the first time I've been rejected, and it [bleep] sucks...

 

 

 

Yeah the first time is the worst. You'll get over it fast and if people try to tease you which WILL happen at least a bit in grade 7 just ignore them. You will realize it's not that bad the next time it happens.

 

 

 

It's kinda funny that all you got was sorry, that's what happened to me the second time.

 

First time was 'I'll think about it'

 

Second was 'sorry'

 

 

 

Now what will be said the third time :(

 

 

 

At least she didn't say yes out of shock/pity and break up with you the next day after you took her on a date :cry: .

[Levon_]

So yeah...That girl I was talking about, apparently shes going to be in Virginia, but I did end up telling her that I liked her, and I asked her if she liked me, and all she said was "Sorry"...Honestly, the first time I've been rejected, and it [bleep] sucks...

 

 

 

Yeah the first time is the worst. You'll get over it fast and if people try to tease you which WILL happen at least a bit in grade 7 just ignore them. You will realize it's not that bad the next time it happens.

 

 

 

It's kinda funny that all you got was sorry, that's what happened to me the second time.

 

First time was 'I'll think about it'

 

Second was 'sorry'

 

 

 

Now what will be said the third time :(

 

 

 

At least she didn't say yes out of shock/pity and break up with you the next day after you took her on a date :cry: .

 

 

 

Haha I actually thought of that to cheer me up :P

[Ned]

I agree, some girls will say yes no matter what, and while this is usually with good intentions (the guy took a risk, so they feel obliged to respond in some positive way), it hurts a lot more to me. I'd rather know their feelings immediately rather than spend some time preparing for a date that has an already-determined outcome.

 

 

 

Edit: Quotes got messed up :?

[Kenshinjapan]

It really sucked when it happened to me. Worst part is that she had her friend call me up on the phone when it was that same person who convinced me to ask her out! :x

[Levon_]

Well the first rejection she just avoided me because she didn't want to hurt me. Avoiding me and not saying no was worse.

 

 

 

I was texting a girl the other day and somehow this came up. I asked if it is really that hard to reject a guy. Apparently it is which surprised me. She said you don't want to hurt his feelings, and if you reject him lots of people will bug you about why you didn't give him a chance. I said that giving someone a chance is different then going out in pity. Going out in pity ends up hurting them more than saying no.

[Cacmypants]

You know what I hate... the type of rejections that are purely based on circumstance

 

 

 

That way you are never sure if it would be ok to ask again later... whether she has actually rejected you as a person or whether she just doesn't see a relationship to be possible at that time (and her not specifying that).

 

 

 

BE DIRECT DAMMIT -.-

 

 

 

it saves a lot of mental turmoil...

[Lenticular_J]

Ahaha, rejection. I used to be kinda scared of it, because I only knew the "Wanna go out?" I asked one girl out that way, back in seventh grade, and got the "Let's just be friends." Didn't even know girls knew the ljbf back then. Anyways, now I do the cool thing, "You wanna tag along?" dealio. I wouldn't call it rejection if they don't want to, because it might not even be a date by the end of the date. I've made some cool gal buddies doing that.

[Ned]

That's the way to go :thumbup:, I've done that before, there's no real way for it to be awkward like "Would you go out with me?" might be.

 

 

 

Win-win no matter what :)

[MC_Kejml]

Hey.

 

 

 

Please, check out my post in "Confessions and Regrets" topic. I feel really desperate about it. It's like nothing like this ever occured to me.

 

A solution or a hint would be welcome. I can't get that feeling off unless I'm drunk or am really doing work that needs deep concentrating, which is none at all at the moment.

 

This is not one-itis, since this girl was special. Why? See in the topic.

 

 

 

Thanks

[Kiriyama]

This story is sad.

 

 

 

It began as a normal day, except it was pretty much sunny outdoors. I had nobody to go out with, as the guys I play soccer with were abroad. My two "dating" plans failed, because one of the girls kept procrastinating on our date (and I fear that's a sure LJBF) and the second one didn't even answer my message I left her on facebook, even though we said some things irl, that we'll meet or something... and then there was this third one.

 

 

 

She's my neighbor, however, she's a writer, too. She made several books, just like me. I didn't see her for a long time, so I met her this one time near our block, we had a talk like how life went on, and said we'll go out and talk more. Today was the day, so I was pretty eager to talk to her, since, as I stated before, we didn't met for several years.

 

We went on a walk, some small talk became, but we were approaching a certain part of the city, where a lot of my memories were. A lot of my inspiration, a lot of my past. She wanted to see it, and me too, so our direction was clear. We made frequent stops at benches on the way, where we delved more into our private lives. Like what happened, what's happening, how our looks on life was. I could agree with her on so many points, and she did, too. This was no usual meeting.

 

Then, we got on the place I was talking about. Memories came flooding to me, and as she saw the spraypaint job on one of the walls, made by me, expressing what I felt for the place, she had goosebumps and it all became very epic to her.

 

Now, we said a lot of things we wouldn't tell to someone else about our pasts, what led us to drawing, how it all began and where we inspired. About our downfalls and victories, too. She said she didn't feel this for a long time, and I didn't, too.

 

Then, as we were going away, this [bleep] up idea came to my mind. I asked her out - even mentioning Verlaine and Rimbaud - and started telling her stuff about being a, well, couple.

 

She said she was completely shocked, surprised, and told me two boys asked her out last week, so she had to think it over. But I knew what's this about.

 

We went home and she forgot her cell phone in my pocket ( we were shopping and she needed me to hold it for a while ). I came to her house, rang a bell, and then she came to the door.

 

Her look was terrible. It was nearly saying "what more do you want, you loser?" So I gave the phone back and walked home.

 

 

 

I feel horrendous, almost like raped.

 

 

 

I don't know if someone comments or even bothers reading, I just wanted to tell it all since this was the topic for it, in hope it'll help me. It didn't help at all... -_- damn...

 

 

 

Firstly, I'll just put it in for him.

 

 

 

I'm going to go ahead and it sounds a bit like one-itis. You may not feel so, but its how it appears.

 

 

 

Best course of action would be to get her out your mind. Maybe go out to a bar with mates or something, might get your mind off things. Just try not to think of her.

 

 

 

Another thing would be to block out your thoughts, different for every person, but personally I just listen to music (through headphones) and concentrate on the lyrics.

 

 

 

Though, I am going to advise against writing, maybe. It may give you time to dwell upon things that have happened in the past.

[MC_Kejml]

Allright, thanks for copypasting the thing. I guess it could help future helpers. I just don't want to sound like an attention seeker, I'd want to get it over with already.

[Kiriyama]

Meh, we're here for a reason.

 

 

 

To be honest, people aren't going to care if you posted the same story in another thread, you posted it there, not asking for advice, then you came here. It'd be better to post the story again rather than make people look for it.

[MC_Kejml]

Meh, we're here for a reason.

 

 

 

To be honest, people aren't going to care if you posted the same story in another thread, you posted it there, not asking for advice, then you came here. It'd be better to post the story again rather than make people look for it.

 

 

 

Y, true. It completely came out of my mind I can put it here again, weird o.O Maybe it was just that it is already somewhere... :/ huh :?

[Iamdan]

 

That's certainly original. And backhanded. How did the rest of that encounter proceed exactly? You seem to meet some interesting, for lack of better term, girls. I've rarely if ever had opurtunities like that. Makes me think...

 

 

 

She apologized and started an amusing rant about all the guys who hit on her. The guys in the group asked me a lot of questions about being gay, which I had some fun with. I k closed but didn't talk to her again because I wanted to work on opening groups and didn't want to get hung up about anyone.

 

 

 

Interesting people are everywhere, you just have to meet a lot of people and pick through the morons.

 

 

 

I'll point out the main blunders I see. As I've said before, don't take this the wrong way and I don't mean anything by it. Do what you want with it.

 

 

 

This story is sad.

 

It began as a normal day, except it was pretty much sunny outdoors. I had nobody to go out with, as the guys I play soccer with were abroad. My two "dating" plans failed, because one of the girls kept procrastinating on our date (and I fear that's a sure LJBF) and the second one didn't even answer my message I left her on facebook, even though we said some things irl, that we'll meet or something... and then there was this third one.If she's procrastinating you meeting then tell her you have other [cabbage] to do and other girls to meet, if she wants to be flaky then it's her loss and if she still wants to meet you'll think about it

 

 

 

She's my neighbor, however, she's a writer, too. She made several books, just like me. I didn't see her for a long time, so I met her this one time near our block, we had a talk like how life went on, and said we'll go out and talk more. Today was the day, so I was pretty eager to talk to her, since, as I stated before, we didn't met for several years.

 

We went on a walk, some small talk became, but we were approaching a certain part of the city, where a lot of my memories were. A lot of my inspiration, a lot of my past. She wanted to see it, and me too, so our direction was clear. We made frequent stops at benches on the way, where we delved more into our private lives. Like what happened, what's happening, how our looks on life was. I could agree with her on so many points, and she did, too. This was no usual meeting.

 

Then, we got on the place I was talking about. Memories came flooding to me, and as she saw the spraypaint job on one of the walls, made by me, expressing what I felt for the place, she had goosebumps and it all became very epic to her.

 

Now, we said a lot of things we wouldn't tell to someone else about our pasts, what led us to drawing, how it all began and where we inspired. About our downfalls and victories, too. She said she didn't feel this for a long time, and I didn't, too. You killed the romance and mystery. Where is the challenge? You don't want to be that guy who she spills her deepest secrets to, that's INSTANT ljbf. Attraction before comfort. Attraction before comfort. If you build comfort first there is no sexual tension whatesoever, it's just 2 people 'getting along.' Get her interested in you, get her qualifying herself to you. Then she can spark your interest, and then you start caring about her personal life.

 

Then, as we were going away, this [bleep] up idea came to my mind. I asked her out - even mentioning Verlaine and Rimbaud - and started telling her stuff about being a, well, couple.

 

She said she was completely shocked, surprised, and told me two boys asked her out last week, so she had to think it over. But I knew what's this about.

 

We went home and she forgot her cell phone in my pocket ( we were shopping and she needed me to hold it for a while ). I came to her house, rang a bell, and then she came to the door.

 

Her look was terrible. It was nearly saying "what more do you want, you loser?" So I gave the phone back and walked home.You spilled your feelings, and she felt weirded out because saying things to each other that you wouldn't others is things friends do, you were her friend in her mind not anything else.

 

 

 

 

gftog mate

[noble_aloof]

odd situation

 

 

 

background: i'm in 9th grade. there is a 10th grader from another school who i think is interested in me. we had a bit of a "thing" going on about a year and a half ago. i guess she got a boyfriend then (and since broke-up) and we just started talking a week ago. she is what some people would stereotype as an "easy" girl. shes really nice, pretty, and she knows how to keep a guy occupied. a year and a half ago i was sure that we liked each other (we hung out like 5 times), however my friend kind of.. stole her before i asked her out. i kindaaa overplayed it and waited a bit too long to ask her out. but then she ended up hating my friend, so i really don't have anything against him, anymore.

 

 

 

this year i go to a different school, i've changed alot, and the girls here are alot different. i feel as if i've changed/matured alot and i've become accustomed to what the girls HERE want. me and this girl have been texting, sending flirtatious text messages.. whatever you want to call it. i just thought she maybe wanted to hangout again and catch up on old times.. but i think she is legit looking for a relationship now, as, she never stopped liking me, she just went on to other people.

 

 

 

we talked on the phone last night and she was really nice, funny, always teasing and playing around. we kept texting today and i'm pretty sure she likes me again. we go to different schools, its been awhile since we last hung out. i'm afraid that when we hang out my "new" personality mayy or may not turn her off. i don't know what she's looking for. it feels great talking to her though. i can tell shes putting feeling into the texts cause shes taking quitee a while to text back (thinking of the perfect thing to say).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i think i should probably pursue her, whether she just wants a hookup or a legit relationship, or maybe she is just leading me on. what do you guys think?

 

 

 

the (most troubling) problem:

 

the weirdest feeling is that i feel like i can't hang out with her with any of my friends from my new school, however i feel fine about bringing her around friends from my old school. i'm kind of torn and don't understand why there is such a mental barrier between what went on at my old school and whats going on (and will go on) at my current school.

 

 

 

i feel like my current friends will judge me based on this relationship. i know, i know.. i shouldn't care about what others think. it's just so odd. i know i shouldn't care. but what feeling, what emotion is MAKING me care?

[RpgGamer]

odd situation

 

 

 

background: i'm in 9th grade. there is a 10th grader from another school who i think is interested in me. we had a bit of a "thing" going on about a year and a half ago. i guess she got a boyfriend then (and since broke-up) and we just started talking a week ago. she is what some people would stereotype as an "easy" girl. shes really nice, pretty, and she knows how to keep a guy occupied. a year and a half ago i was sure that we liked each other (we hung out like 5 times), however my friend kind of.. stole her before i asked her out. i kindaaa overplayed it and waited a bit too long to ask her out. but then she ended up hating my friend, so i really don't have anything against him, anymore.

 

 

 

this year i go to a different school, i've changed alot, and the girls here are alot different. i feel as if i've changed/matured alot and i've become accustomed to what the girls HERE want. me and this girl have been texting, sending flirtatious text messages.. whatever you want to call it. i just thought she maybe wanted to hangout again and catch up on old times.. but i think she is legit looking for a relationship now, as, she never stopped liking me, she just went on to other people.

 

 

 

we talked on the phone last night and she was really nice, funny, always teasing and playing around. we kept texting today and i'm pretty sure she likes me again. we go to different schools, its been awhile since we last hung out. i'm afraid that when we hang out my "new" personality mayy or may not turn her off. i don't know what she's looking for. it feels great talking to her though. i can tell shes putting feeling into the texts cause shes taking quitee a while to text back (thinking of the perfect thing to say).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i think i should probably pursue her, whether she just wants a hookup or a legit relationship, or maybe she is just leading me on. what do you guys think?

 

 

 

the (most troubling) problem:

 

the weirdest feeling is that i feel like i can't hang out with her with any of my friends from my new school, however i feel fine about bringing her around friends from my old school. i'm kind of torn and don't understand why there is such a mental barrier between what went on at my old school and whats going on (and will go on) at my current school.

 

 

 

i feel like my current friends will judge me based on this relationship. i know, i know.. i shouldn't care about what others think. it's just so odd. i know i shouldn't care. but what feeling, what emotion is MAKING me care?

 

 

 

"Friends will grow together, but close friends will seperate and reunite as if nothing's changed"

 

 

 

I feel this applies to relationships, too. You feel you've changed and grown, and think that she hasn't. Maybe your new friends are different from your old ones, but that doesn't change who you are. Maybe she's changed too. You can't know until you find out. You already talked to her, and from what I gather, that went pretty well. I'm sure she'll be more than willing to accept any changes you may have gone through. Don't be afraid to accept her changes either. Bringing your new friends may or may not be awkward, but no one said you had to bring them. I don't know just how long it's been between you two, but I really don't see a problem other than general anxiety and insecurity. I assure you she feels similiarly. I hope this makes you feel better.

[MC_Kejml]

[hide=]

 

That's certainly original. And backhanded. How did the rest of that encounter proceed exactly? You seem to meet some interesting, for lack of better term, girls. I've rarely if ever had opurtunities like that. Makes me think...

 

 

 

She apologized and started an amusing rant about all the guys who hit on her. The guys in the group asked me a lot of questions about being gay, which I had some fun with. I k closed but didn't talk to her again because I wanted to work on opening groups and didn't want to get hung up about anyone.

 

 

 

Interesting people are everywhere, you just have to meet a lot of people and pick through the morons.

 

 

 

I'll point out the main blunders I see. As I've said before, don't take this the wrong way and I don't mean anything by it. Do what you want with it.

 

 

 

This story is sad.

 

It began as a normal day, except it was pretty much sunny outdoors. I had nobody to go out with, as the guys I play soccer with were abroad. My two "dating" plans failed, because one of the girls kept procrastinating on our date (and I fear that's a sure LJBF) and the second one didn't even answer my message I left her on facebook, even though we said some things irl, that we'll meet or something... and then there was this third one.If she's procrastinating you meeting then tell her you have other [cabbage] to do and other girls to meet, if she wants to be flaky then it's her loss and if she still wants to meet you'll think about it

 

 

 

She's my neighbor, however, she's a writer, too. She made several books, just like me. I didn't see her for a long time, so I met her this one time near our block, we had a talk like how life went on, and said we'll go out and talk more. Today was the day, so I was pretty eager to talk to her, since, as I stated before, we didn't met for several years.

 

We went on a walk, some small talk became, but we were approaching a certain part of the city, where a lot of my memories were. A lot of my inspiration, a lot of my past. She wanted to see it, and me too, so our direction was clear. We made frequent stops at benches on the way, where we delved more into our private lives. Like what happened, what's happening, how our looks on life was. I could agree with her on so many points, and she did, too. This was no usual meeting.

 

Then, we got on the place I was talking about. Memories came flooding to me, and as she saw the spraypaint job on one of the walls, made by me, expressing what I felt for the place, she had goosebumps and it all became very epic to her.

 

Now, we said a lot of things we wouldn't tell to someone else about our pasts, what led us to drawing, how it all began and where we inspired. About our downfalls and victories, too. She said she didn't feel this for a long time, and I didn't, too. You killed the romance and mystery. Where is the challenge? You don't want to be that guy who she spills her deepest secrets to, that's INSTANT ljbf. Attraction before comfort. Attraction before comfort. If you build comfort first there is no sexual tension whatesoever, it's just 2 people 'getting along.' Get her interested in you, get her qualifying herself to you. Then she can spark your interest, and then you start caring about her personal life.

 

Then, as we were going away, this [bleep] up idea came to my mind. I asked her out - even mentioning Verlaine and Rimbaud - and started telling her stuff about being a, well, couple.

 

She said she was completely shocked, surprised, and told me two boys asked her out last week, so she had to think it over. But I knew what's this about.

 

We went home and she forgot her cell phone in my pocket ( we were shopping and she needed me to hold it for a while ). I came to her house, rang a bell, and then she came to the door.

 

Her look was terrible. It was nearly saying "what more do you want, you loser?" So I gave the phone back and walked home.You spilled your feelings, and she felt weirded out because saying things to each other that you wouldn't others is things friends do, you were her friend in her mind not anything else.

 

[/hide]

 

 

 

Thanks for reply.

 

Dude its so hard to remember all those things it´s not even comparable. A lot of ppl tell me that getting a gf is easier than I think but from what you say this is harder than programming in Zilog assembler.

 

 

 

gftog mate

 

 

 

K, I´ll just have some tea with god and hand Chuck Norris´s [wagon] to him before that.

 

 

 

I don´t want to sound weird, it´s just me. I´m glad that someone replied, though.

[Cacmypants]

 

Thanks for reply.

 

Dude its so hard to remember all those things it´s not even comparable. A lot of ppl tell me that getting a gf is easier than I think but from what you say this is harder than programming in Zilog assembler.

 

gftog mate

 

 

 

K, I´ll just have some tea with god and hand Chuck Norris´s [wagon] to him before that.

 

 

 

I don´t want to sound weird, it´s just me. I´m glad that someone replied, though.

 

 

 

For your own sake, it would be wise not to make that direct comparison again, hehe.

 

 

 

But yeh, forging relationships is a skill and just like anything else, some people are better than others; Nonetheless, it is something you can learn.

[Kenshinjapan]

A simple yes or no will be a good answer.

 

 

 

Do oral sex or anal sex count as losing your virginity?

[evil_mumm_ra]

it's sex, isn't it? i doubt you're gonna have anal before oral or vaginal though. :|