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I think the fact your friends are drifting away from you isn't really a whole other problem...

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I don't know the entire situation, so I don't want to advise you to do anything. I'm just telling you the things I've done to get myself through tough times. If I wanted to move on, I would stop talking to the girl. Like I said, it is going to suck completely, probably for a long time. But it will pass.

Cut contact for sure, you can talk to her later when you're over her. Otherwise this will drag on for ages.

I am in agreement with those saying cut contact with her. I've been in situations where I've done it and in situations where I haven't and cutting contact has always worked out for the best.

In your situation I would roll the dice and straight up ask her to hang and sort out the details after. I would also take note to not leave these things until the last minute.

 

You really should be attracting the girl as soon if not before you meet her.

In my experience, the quickest ways to get over a girl is to gftog, or at least flirt with them, and take up a hobby. The more you distract yourself the less you think about her. Also, don't hang out with her or even talk to her because that is the best way to not get over someone.

 

Yes, this is valid advice, but let's be honest-- how many people on this thread do you expect to actually be willing, much less capable, of following that advice?

 

The only thing that will help you recover from a broken heart (for lack of better term) is time and/or other girls.

Nah, I expect he will pull the bandaid off slowly rather than ripping it off. Most people his age probably would. I did, and I don't know if I would have listened if somebody gave me that advice.

 

I can say with experience that cutting contact is magnitudes better but it's his life.

She was my best friend before we dated, and we still talk for hours everyday. I don't intend to lose her, even if it means I won't get over her. My goal is to stay friends with her while finding someone new.

 

And my friends and I have been drifting apart as of late, which doesn't make things easier. (I've been trying to fix that, that's a whole other issue though)

 

Forgetting who it was, but someone in this thread many moons ago made a very elaborate post on why you should never enter a relationship with a girl that is considered a close friend. Kind of like the "don't date co-workers" rule. You can do it...just realize the consequences when it doesn't work out.

 

After a breakup like that Rob, I doubt you'll be able to even try to be friends with her properly. Atleast not until you get over her AND find a new girl to hang around.

 

My advice Rob? Find some new friends. Nothing like a good group switch to clear the slate.

By continuing to talk to her, if she's still figuring out her feelings for you, then you won't be helping. If you've always talked, even a few days after your breakup, you're just being an emotional tampon. It sounds blunt, but if you're talking frequently then she can use you as an emotional cushion, which you don't need to be, seeing as you're single.

The first girl I ever dated, we were friends before we dated. When she broke up with me, I had a heck of a time getting over her, basically because I didn't understand her reasons, and thought that I might have a chance in the future. Anyway, we stayed friends, but kept interactions a little spaced out. We were quite close, and it was hard. It took me a long time to get over her, and sometimes I still think about what might have been, even if only for an instant.

 

Anyway, what I'm saying is, is that it is entirely possible to remain close friends with someone you've dated, you just have to be willing to live with your feelings.

 

 

P.S.- I think dating a close friend has the potential for the best kind of relationship. Yes, if things don't work out, it might be rough, but a close friend is a close friend, and you should understand each other enough to be able to deal if it doesn't work out. Otherwise, I wouldn't consider that person a close friend.

I would have to disagree, because after some time together a girlfriend becomes a best friend even if you started dating when you met her. I am closer to my girlfriend then I have been with close female friends, even ones I ended up dating.

 

The only difference is, if she is your friend first and it doesn't work out when you date, you might lose her as the friend you had before dating. It's happened to me.

I'll echo pretty much everyone's sentiment of 'Been there, done it, got through it - cut contact, it's easier for both of you'.

 

Yes, I know you've probably got a Romeo and Juliet complex going on right now, but honestly think about it. It isn't everyone else telling you that you and her can't be together, it was actually your ex-girlfriend herself. And she's gone through with this by going out with someone else for almost 3 months now.

 

She's moved on; she doesn't want to get back with you, or ekse she wouldn't be in a relationship with somebody else. Which begs the question, why is she still keeping in touch?

 

Only two possible answers:

1) She's stringing you along, or rubbing it in your face;

2) She genuinelly wants to be friends, in which case you need to get yourself back in the 'Friend Zone'.

 

The easiest way of doing the latter is to cut contact. Just try it for a week and tell us we're wrong after.

Ellen wants to meet up tomorrow. She said she'd rather talk to me in person rather than online / text.

Can't hurt can it? Just to find out what she wants to say?

Yeah, it's fair. If she wants to continue I need to put my foot down and demand no more [cabbage].

She'll probably use you again. You know it to be true. If she's willing to talk in person, give it a chance, but make it clear you won't put up with [cabbage] again. She's done this twice from what I've gathered, what makes you think she'll be different this time?

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Would really like someone else's view on this.

 

I asked a boy out on a date yesterday, i've known him for a month or two now. We get along really well, and have been hanging out a lot while i was at college. The thing is i think he like's my sister more.... Yesterday after i asked him out, about an hour after i think, My sisters boyfriend got into a huge fight with him telling him to leave her alone, because of a few pictures he had on his Facebook wall from the leavers party we went to last week, where they were hugging for a photo, and another where my sister had been smoking.(Her Boyfriend really hates the smoking, and she's been telling him she has stopped for months now) I found out today that it was my sisters boyfriend who started the whole thing, but she's told the boy to back off and never talk to her again etc already before she knew it was her boyfriend that started everything.

 

Basically, i'm still waiting for him to reply to me with where he would like to go out on our date next week, so i'm having nervous issues with waiting for that as i don't know if he will after yesterday. And i also have mixed feelings about weather its a good idea to try and end up dating someone who i believe likes my sister.

 

I really do like him, i just don't want to end up getting hurt again...

Just talk with him about it. He might not even actually like your sister and you could easily just be reading too much into it.

So your sister's boyfriend is the controlling, overprotective, jealous type. Not really your problem unless you make it your problem.

 

Only real issue is whether this guy does actually like your sister, and for that you could just, y'know, ask him.

So your sister's boyfriend is the controlling, overprotective, jealous type. Not really your problem unless you make it your problem.

 

Only real issue is whether this guy does actually like your sister, and for that you could just, y'know, ask him.

 

 

Yes pretty much, he's like that 24/7.

 

I guess i can ask him next week when i see him next, if and when he replies with if he still wishes to go out that is.

So your sister's boyfriend is the controlling, overprotective, jealous type. Not really your problem unless you make it your problem.

 

Only real issue is whether this guy does actually like your sister, and for that you could just, y'know, ask him.

 

 

Yes pretty much, he's like that 24/7.

 

I guess i can ask him next week when i see him next, if and when he replies with if he still wishes to go out that is.

Did you ask him over text? Or do you text a lot with him? If so you may as well try asking him through that.