"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Boris5000]

Estonian Dude! I love it.

[Bonez899]

Guys, where is this "Estonian Dude" from?

[obfuscator]

Guys, where is this "Estonian Dude" from?

latvia

[Lower Levelled]

 

Guys, where is this "Estonian Dude" from?

latvia

Is he Kristaps Porzingis?

[Estonian dude]

Do I look like I have 6 toes?

[RpgGamer]

You have at least 6 feet. You said so yourself

[Tim]

He's 6 something alright. :twss:

[Saradomin_Mage]

And I am in a relationship with the girl I started talking about in September...

The super-shy one. Turns out not so shy in the sheets.

And she is hard-working, quite pretty and conscientious. Total opposite to me in that case, which is what I like.

idk why but this looks like it could read straight out of one of those bad sex award novels

[Estonian dude]

I said I can't write.

[Bonez899]

Its funny how in my experience its always been the same for me. Tiny softspoken shy girl who wears glasses has never failed to be kinky as [bleep]

Should you stick pull her hair and lick her elbow or however it is? Or is less work needed?

[RpgGamer]

Kinkiness and shyness are practically the same thing

[champion]

for those of you who've moved in with your girlfriend/significant other - general advice / tips?

[MuffinMaddy]

for those of you who've moved in with your girlfriend/significant other - general advice / tips?

 

Good question

I'm thinking of the same when I go back to the UK for our final year of University

[RpgGamer]

I've never fully lived with any of my girlfriends but expect to see them in a totally new light after the first month or so

[muggiwhplar]

for those of you who've moved in with your girlfriend/significant other - general advice / tips?

Yeah, don't do it :lol:

[Skull]

I did it for a semester with my ex.  We had been dating for a year at that point, so I think a lot of the shit that wasn't great would have started to come out around then anyways.  But we were also sharing a room intended for one person (I had a single dorm room at school, she lived at home so she just moved into my room), which is far from ideal.  Ended up with us fighting a decent amount and breaking up that summer (and getting back together and breaking up again and getting back together again...)

 

I think moving in with a significant other requires a serious discussion beforehand, especially in a situation where you're both on a lease and don't have another place to go (home) if things don't work out.  Obviously its not impossible to do though.  Just discuss it first, and have a backup plan for if it's not working.  You should probably discuss that backup plan too and agree on it.

 

For example, agree that if its not working (hopefully before ruining your relationship) you'll move out to (place) and your significant other will find someone to sublet.

[RpgGamer]

I know many a couple, only one has survived living together with one another and I think it's because they're both rich and neither of them pay for anything themselves

[MuffinMaddy]

I know many a couple, only one has survived living together with one another and I think it's because they're both rich and neither of them pay for anything themselves

 

Yeah it's quite interesting to read these things.

For me, I am just nervous about it because of all the negative things you hear.

I don't have many alternatives though, a lot of my friends will have graduated and campus is too expensive for me.

We have a friend who'll be back from his year abroad as well but I don't think it's fair to get him to move in with a couple. At the end of the day I wouldn't want to live with a couple either.

I basically lived with him last year because we didn't like my house much and I became pretty good friends with his housemates through it. I actually miss it, it was very cosy and we used to play on the Xbox and stuff. On the down side it got really messy. It's just that we like spending the night together and eventually one of us would end up living with the other 'unofficially' anyway, as it's been for the past two years so I figured it might save hassle by just getting a place for final year.

I had a bike so it was easier for me to get between our hosues than it was for him to get to my place. 

[Boris5000]

for those of you who've moved in with your girlfriend/significant other - general advice / tips?

How long have you been dating for?

[champion]

well we wouldn't be moving in together until september. by that point we'll have been officially dating for over a year, and would've been seeing each other for like a year and a half. 

 

 

we often spend the weekends with each other, sleeping over for 3 nights in a row, and have spent longer sustained periods of time together for trips and stuff. it's not like it's been that long, but i think i have a pretty good grasp for her living habits, which are fine. she genuinely enjoys cooking and cleans up a lot after her older sister (who she lives with), so i doubt that'd be an issue.

 

 

also, we're most likely going to be looking at living in a house with a few friends as well. we both agreed that that'd probably be a good idea, since we would get to see each other consistently and stuff still, but we'd have the company of other people during times where we could admittedly use a bit of a break from each other. but we might also just get an apartment for the two of us, since renting a house and living with other people can be more of a pain.

[muggiwhplar]

yes but right now you guys see each other because you want to. once you move in, you're seeing each other because you have to

[Lower Levelled]

I think place size is important in your case. If there's not enough space to spend time alone you guys might have some blowups

[RpgGamer]

Friends living with couples isn't a great plan. I'd do it, but I have way more tolerance than most

[The Observer]

for those of you who've moved in with your girlfriend/significant other - general advice / tips?

Like what others said, this requires a serious discussion. You don't want to get yourself in shitty commitments (leases, etc) if the worst happens.

 

I lived with my ex girlfriend for a little over a year and yeah, it was way different.

 

For example: when you fight, you can't just [bleep] off somewhere and then schedule a date to meet up and discuss what happened. You have to have the responsibility to deal with problems then and there because chances are you'll be sleeping next to her that night. And yes, you will fight. There is no getting away from that.

 

You've also got to understand that people have certain quirks about where they live. Sometimes they prefer things arranged in a certain way or they prefer buying certain things. Or, they prefer peace and quiet (just like you do).

 

It's also frustrating because you can do everything you possibly can to be an acceptable partner to live with, but she can just go back and do the exact opposite (she is human after all). That's when you have to compromise and accept that you can't always win. Just because you do something good it doesn't mean you should be rewarded for it. Although if you're constantly getting the shit end of the stick, you should reevaluate your relationship.

 

Most of this stuff seems pretty obvious, but when you're in the heat of the moment where emotions are strong, you tend to forget what to do and you end up doing stupid shit.

[Horatio]

Okay so I'm pretty confident at least 2 of you remember me and maybe .5 of you remember how my last post went. To recap, I went on the first date of my life and then a second one that went poorly.

 

 

Like I said earlier, right now you need to focus on just learning and getting experience and dealing with failure/rejection, rather than succeeding.

This actually really pissed me off when I first read it and it still kind of does for reasons I'll leave to your imagination, but I think I might actually be coming around to the idea.

 

I've tried giving tinder a shot two times previously and they both went very poorly. I decided to reactivate my account (Which actually required a lot more than just turning discovery back on and is still really frustrating on my phone and I need to use bluestacks half the time, but I digress) and it went a lot better than I could have imagined. I've gotten 8 matches since Saturday, which is approximately 8 times as many as I'd gotten in the previous two attempts. The first three conversations went pretty poorly (Which I admittedly got way too invested in way too quickly (Something I think I'm actually getting a lot better with)), then for reasons I still don't understand, the girl in the fourth one gave me her number when I asked. I've also had two conversations that I'd consider "good", by my standards anyway.

 

So anyway, I decided to come here for advice when I thought my third "good" conversation ended (~20 minutes ago), but now I think it is on an indefinite hiatus. I'm not really looking for tinder advice specifically, but more the ability to "read between the lines".

 

What I've been doing is trying to make a joke/pun about the girl's profile (2 of which I thought were actually really good, but one was a bot and the other wasn't understood by the girl) followed by "banter" (Which is still ungodly difficult for me to do in real time, but I think I'm getting better at that too) for 3 or 4 exchanges, eventually leading me to me asking her what her schedule looks like this week. Of the 3 "good" conversations I had, 2 ended the same way. The third one probably should have as well, but the girl tried to salvage it. This is extremely confusing and frustrating to me not because the conversations are ending, but because I don't understand why.

 

After I ask what their week looks like, they all say "busy" (In subtle variations consisting of a few more words). The conversation with the first one (whose number I got) ended there. The second one ended with that, followed by another message a couple seconds later saying "Unfortunately". The third one said it, and then like 5 minutes later asked me what my schedule looked like.

 

I thought that by asking what their schedule looked like, I was conveying the message that I wanted to know when they had free time (I read this online at some point, but I don't remember where. It's the only follow up to "banter" that I have) and that by them not mentioning any free time, they were looking to end the conversation. When I thought the third conversation had ended this way, I actually laughed a little bit not because I thought it was funny, but because it seemed so ridiculous that I thought I must be missing something. The (albeit brief) conversations up to that point were all going well (I thought), then they just abruptly ended it. After this third conversation, I'm starting to consider considering that maybe my lack of ability to form relationships with humans isn't because of physical defects, but because I'm actually completely socially retarded.

 

I don't know if what I'm asking is clear at all. I want to know how to pick up on the unwritten communication that is apparently being presented to me. Other than the obvious answers of "Practice", "make platonic friends", or "Read How to win friends and influence people", what do I do? I'm actually starting to kind of enjoy tinder, but I don't understand it and it's kind of frustrating.

 

This post was probably unnecessarily long and drawn out, but it's 2:30 AM and I need to be up at 6 and I've gotten roughly 2 hours of sleep, coupled with lots of studying, last minute assignments, and exams, so sorry if anything didn't make sense. I might come back in the morning to clean this post up, but probably not.