"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Solidus_77]

[hide=I'm putting the crappy argument in hide takes because there's one point that's actually important]No, he's actually got some interesting points, he just fails in the delivery by trying to look tough. If he was to drop his pathetic act, he'd actually get a decent point across.

 

 

 

Hey, /b/ here's some girl advice from a person who can actually pull off the cool life and TIF at the same time.

 

 

 

Right.

 

 

 

I Anyways, alot of girls dont give a crap about your personality.

 

 

 

So the 'cool' guy doesn't even know the basics

 

 

 

You may be a fat [cabbage] sitting behind the computer with a great personality but a lot of 'hot' girls won't care because it's all about looks though.

 

 

 

Define "good" personality. Generally the fat guys sitting behind computers have ABYSMAL personalities and that's what makes them fail miserably. There are, however, plenty of fat guys who compensate for it by being social geniuses, in fact girls will go for not-so-hot guys very often because of personality.

 

 

 

So if you want a girlfriend so bad, get out of your bedroom, get a haircut, shower, lose 30 pounds, and buy some cool clothes.

 

 

 

Now here's the hidden gem in the pile of crap. This is actually good advice that's meant to be said in a brutal way: "Get your [wagon] out of your room and go meet some people". I'll get to the clothing thing in a second, because actually both of you are wrong.

 

 

 

Girls do not like the "i live for WoW" shirts.

 

 

 

This isn't too bad either. What does a girl INSTINCTIVELY think when she sees a WoW shirt? Anti-social guy who spends time alone playing stupid games rather than being social. Doesn't matter if you are actually social, the shirt kills your first impression.

 

 

 

Also do not brag about video games, the ladies dont like hearing about your high score on Halo or CSS or something.

 

 

 

Pretty obvious really, even the ones who care about video games don't want to hear how awesome you are at them so don't try to go around bragging them.

 

 

 

Join a sports time, play a sport, GET INVOLVED, be a person that everybody knows about

 

 

 

Sports help a lot, getting involve helps a lot,

 

 

 

Personal experience.

 

 

 

I'd rather stick with the advice from guys who actually get laid with many girls.

 

 

 

Now sworddude198 on to you.

 

 

 

Yeah, you've had personal experience, with the shallow type it seems.

 

 

 

I'm really not a fan of using stereotypes. No, this guy is not one of those "jerks who gets all the girls in highschool" that's giving him too much credit.

 

 

 

Personality ends up just that slightly more important than looks. When you start growing older, looks fade, however personality is harder to change.

 

 

 

That's not really how it works. Guys go more for looks (with still some personality obviously) and girls are the opposite. Looks fade if you don't maintain them, personality fades if you don't maintain it.[/hide]

 

 

 

You say to go buy "cool" clothes, well, for me, that means clothes that can keep you cool. Comfort > Fashion. I also fail to see why a haircut is important, guys can pull off long hair, if they look after it and have darker hair, so yeah, why the [bleep] should we have to cut it short to appease someone who doesn't like us for who we are?

 

 

 

Now this is something that's actually interesting (I've got a personal experience to go along with it too). First of all, you're underestimating the potential of fashion just because you "choose" not to care (although the fact that you're getting defensive about it now shows a hint of insecurity). I was like you before, I dressed in a really sloppy but chose not to care because I wanted to be "different" or some [cabbage] like that (your motives may have been different). Such ignorance on my part, because it's actually possible to be "different" and well dressed. Oh and I think it goes without saying that girls (who obviously care about how they look) like a guy that's well dressed, well groomed, and at least shows some effort in terms of fashion (not crucial, like confidence, but still fairly important). Clothing is for first impression too; look like a nerd and girls will brush you off as one.

 

 

 

The good news about clothing and fashion is that it's possible to look 'cool', look different while at the same time TOTALLY being yourself and being comfortable with what you wear. Last year, before going out to clubs I had to get some different clothing because I simply wouldn't be allowed in with what I usually wear. That's the part where I said "[bleep] it, I'll try to get some style this time" (but still worried that I would feel uncomfortable and insecure in what I wore). I decided to get jeans for once (I use to hate jeans but in retrospect that was just simply stupid and now I wear them most of the time), and got a nice shirt that was a step up in terms of style from what I normally wore. And guess what? I felt totally comfortable and totally cool. Many people noticed too, especially girls.

 

 

 

Why did it work? It's not like this shirt was a popular trend, this was something only I wore; it's because after trying on a bunch of stuff, this one just looked good on me. It's all about congruence with image. I don't know how, but this shirt (along with other stuff that I've also bought like an awesome bomber jacket with fur trim) simply "works" with my image and would NOT work with someone else. Whenever it comes to looks, it's all about congruence. If a nerdy guy suddenly starts wearing chains and "gangsta" clothing, he'd look so fake and ridiculous, but if he wore a nice pair of pants with a belt and even a plad shirt, he'd look much better (note that a WoW T-shirt is congruent, but still looks terrible, so also a no-no). So take a look at yourself. What's your image like? What would look good with your image? I can guarantee that there's a way to be totally comfortable and still look good, the popular kids all have their own special style which just "works" for them: congruence is the key (if you haven't noticed this, pay attention). Other benefits from getting clothes include: random compliments (from girls), personal creative style and boost of confidence since you feel good about what you wear.

 

 

 

The tricky bit is going to a clothing shop and trying on stuff, especially if you have ZERO experience like me. I find that, if possible, get a second, preferably female, opinion (like friend, sister, or even girl who works there). Girls know this stuff so well it's freaky. Girls also notice a lot too, they will notice if you care about your hair or if it's an absolute mess (FYI, the comment about getting a hair cut is also about congruence, some people look good with long hair, some look good with short hair, it all depends on the person), they will notice your smell (female sense of smell is far more developed), and I'm told that girls really like good shoes too, so these are all a couple of practical things to keep in mind that can make a small difference but in the end it's all part of what makes someone popular with the ladies and one who doesn't get it. (PUA vs AFC).

 

 

 

Oh and finally, it helps to have a little item or two that's totally personal. Like a specific necklace, wrist-band or (in my case) sun-glasses that just fits with you. It's a very good hook to catch girls attention. Sort of like the cherry on top of the cake.

[Wisp]

Agunimon, please grow up.

 

 

 

Personality ends up just that slightly more important than looks. When you start growing older, looks fade, however personality is harder to change.

 

 

 

Sure, it won't kill these guys/girls to go out and lose weight, it'd be better for them in the long run for health reasons. You say to go buy "cool" clothes, well, for me, that means clothes that can keep you cool. Comfort > Fashion. I also fail to see why a haircut is important, guys can pull off long hair, if they look after it and have darker hair, so yeah, why the [bleep] should we have to cut it short to appease someone who doesn't like us for who we are?

 

 

 

Yeah, you've had personal experience, with the shallow type it seems.

 

Sad truth: He's mostly right. Looks fade, true, but what are the chances that the hot girl/guy you're trying to date is really going to be the one you marry. Looks are important, but personality is too. Truth: Most guys can't pull of long hair. In my life, I have only seen one guy who really could, and the rest eventually got shorter haircuts, and looked much better. Cool clothes, sure if you want to go running around in a silver reflective jumpsuit because it reflects heat, and a hat with a fan on either side pointing down at you, even if it's the most comfortable thing in the world, you wouldn't wear it, or if you did, I can almost guarantee everyone would think you were crazy. Fashion-wise, I've found that a lot of nice "cool" clothes actually are comfortable, and I think what he meant was, ditch the shirts that say something like "wow is my life" and buy some clothes that people won't label you as a geek or a loser if you wear them, without even getting to know you.

 

Fat, it's usually pretty disgusting, no offense to anyone, and unlike looks, it definitely will not fade with age.

 

Sports wise, I would suggest it. In my school, the kids who are the best at sports and commit themselves are very well known, and the best sports guy in the school is also a pretty big geek, but everyone still likes him.

 

 

 

Looks are as important as personality in a lot of cases. Most girls wouldn't go out with really attractive guy if he was a pure jerk (not the sensitive jerk thing that has been talked about, I mean like abusive), or if they were really stupid, but most would not go out with a fat kid who doesn't care about his social image, even if he is the nicest guy in the world (which is also not what most girls look for).

 

Just about anyone can look good if they try, all it takes it a little effort. Run a bit every day if your overweight, deal with acne/etc. Looking attractive does not sacrifice personality, and in general, it can be healthier for you, not only because of weight, but also because of confidence and such.

 

Anyway, that's probably my biggest point, making yourself look better does not sacrifice personality.

[Necrobean]

I just can't anymore. It has been the fourth night without any sleep at all and it has been going like this for over a year. There is a whole story to tell and I will if you need the information for helping me out. After being 'in love' or whatever you want to call it for over two years. We're becoming alienated from each other due to various reasons. I'm broken, hurt, tormented. I just want to forget about it all. She was something special, something so... I can't explain it with words nor can I explain what I even felt for her. I will miss her so damned much and I can't possibly imagine my life without her but it's finally time to move on. Oh I wouldn't mind just being bossed around by her just a little more, hurt by her just a little more. I wish this wouldn't be true but I can't deny it anymore I 've lost her and I think that it's for good this time. (I'm the type of person who likes to get dominated, I like [bleep]y attitudes, meh).

 

 

 

I just want to forget her. Every time I tell myself I will just ignore her, start thinking about her on a 'negative' way. I eventually crawl back to her. Please, if anybody could help me out of this hole of despair, I'd be ever so grateful. I don't think I'll ever forget about her. Do not suggest me to find a girl just to please myself, to forget about her. At the moment as I've read before (Solidus, I think?) I should meet up with new people, have some "back-up girls". Well, I know pretty people, people with awesome personalities. But it's just not the same. I hope I'll find some distraction for my mind. I really need my sleep but these thoughts just keep on coming back in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for the possible bad English or random sentences. A bit tired now.

[Orpheus]

I just can't anymore. It has been the fourth night without any sleep at all and it has been going like this for over a year. There is a whole story to tell and I will if you need the information for helping me out. After being 'in love' or whatever you want to call it for over two years. We're becoming alienated from each other due to various reasons. I'm broken, hurt, tormented. I just want to forget about it all. She was something special, something so... I can't explain it with words nor can I explain what I even felt for her. I will miss her so damned much and I can't possibly imagine my life without her but it's finally time to move on. Oh I wouldn't mind just being bossed around by her just a little more, hurt by her just a little more. I wish this wouldn't be true but I can't deny it anymore I 've lost her and I think that it's for good this time. (I'm the type of person who likes to get dominated, I like [bleep] attitudes, meh).

 

 

 

I just want to forget her. Every time I tell myself I will just ignore her, start thinking about her on a 'negative' way. I eventually crawl back to her. Please, if anybody could help me out of this hole of despair, I'd be ever so grateful. I don't think I'll ever forget about her. Do not suggest me to find a girl just to please myself, to forget about her. At the moment as I've read before (Solidus, I think?) I should meet up with new people, have some "back-up girls". Well, I know pretty people, people with awesome personalities. But it's just not the same. I hope I'll find some distraction for my mind. I really need my sleep but these thoughts just keep on coming back in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for the possible bad English or random sentences. A bit tired now.

 

 

 

I'm not sure what you could do. You could try just talking to other people, or finding something to do that blocks her out of your mind. Solidus will probably have a better idea though. I'm the kind of guy who hasn't had too many girlfriends, and he might have a better idea for this.

 

 

 

EDIT: I just have a bit of difficulty taking on a bit of a "sensitive jerk" attitude. Either I'm too much of a nice guy, or I'm a total [wagon] who has no problem eliminating anyone who gets in my way. I just try to relax, take things easy, and make sadistic jokes at anyone I don't like. Women are confusing creatures...

[Solidus_77]

I just can't anymore. It has been the fourth night without any sleep at all and it has been going like this for over a year. There is a whole story to tell and I will if you need the information for helping me out. After being 'in love' or whatever you want to call it for over two years. We're becoming alienated from each other due to various reasons. I'm broken, hurt, tormented. I just want to forget about it all. She was something special, something so... I can't explain it with words nor can I explain what I even felt for her. I will miss her so damned much and I can't possibly imagine my life without her but it's finally time to move on. Oh I wouldn't mind just being bossed around by her just a little more, hurt by her just a little more. I wish this wouldn't be true but I can't deny it anymore I 've lost her and I think that it's for good this time. (I'm the type of person who likes to get dominated, I like [bleep] attitudes, meh).

 

 

 

I just want to forget her. Every time I tell myself I will just ignore her, start thinking about her on a 'negative' way. I eventually crawl back to her. Please, if anybody could help me out of this hole of despair, I'd be ever so grateful. I don't think I'll ever forget about her. Do not suggest me to find a girl just to please myself, to forget about her. At the moment as I've read before (Solidus, I think?) I should meet up with new people, have some "back-up girls". Well, I know pretty people, people with awesome personalities. But it's just not the same. I hope I'll find some distraction for my mind. I really need my sleep but these thoughts just keep on coming back in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for the possible bad English or random sentences. A bit tired now.

 

 

 

Well I'll start off by saying you're almost normal in the sense that EVERYONE feels that way when they experience a loss of some kind, be it a girlfriend or even just a potential girlfriend (as in getting turned down by a girl you like). I'd say almost every guy has been there but you have reacted more strongly than the average (which I don't blame you, you lost a hell of a lot). The one thing in common? It's that bloddy one-itis problem again! This is what it causes and this is why preventing one-itis is an absolute necessity. If you prevent it, you can prevent the feelings of loss or rejection and all the sorrow that follows.

 

 

 

Let's see now. The first step is understanding the emotions. Well I don't think it's any surprise that you experience the grieving period after you lose the girl you get attached to her. It's kind of the same feeling of rejection, but much worse. Sorrow, pain, loss, feeling of uncertainty and all the other things they can create in turn. If you want to get out of this situation you need to first understand, then control, your emotions. Eventually, I can guarantee that you will heal with time, but the only way to speed it up would be to learn how to control your emotions. Right now you seem to be swamped by emotions, but I'm going to go out on a limb and presume this has something to do with your desire to be bossed around. I know this might feel uncomfortable for you but you need to stand up for yourself more, "being dominated" as part of a kinky BDSM fantasy is fine but not when you become dominated by your emotions. You can try to think about it objectively, try to look at the feelings individually and find ways to make you feel better (only you can come up with these things). Don't be too afraid to talk to people, just the act of talking itself helps sooth the pain. In fact, I kept ALL this PUA stuff secret to everybody except myself (TIF is the exception since the internet provides anonymity) and only decided to tell it to a really good friend of mine who kept it a secret. I had to do it because I was keeping too many feelings bottled up and just having someone to talk about this stuff with made it much easier. For you the context is different (loss rather than change/anxiety) but the principle is the same. Talk to other guys because I'm sure they have similar experiences (you can mix up the details if you feel insecure about it, but make sure and do it).

 

 

 

Now, those tactics that you mentioned. I'm glad that you tried to apply them. The one about trying to forget about her is a must, but nearly impossible given the situation. So how about this: Try and think about them in a different way. Try and associate her with something different. It's a bit tricky to explain but over time you'll eventually be able to associate this girl with the learning experience you got, rather than the incredible loss. If needed, you can also try to consider her negative qualities, or have a friend expose them. Think of her critically and then you'll stop obsessing over her. Also, continue pursuing other girls and having lots of options. The reason it hasn't worked so well with you, I think, is because it's more of a preventive method, used so you never get too attached to one person. That being said, it can't hurt to use it now, as the ability to have options should help a little bit get over your loss.

 

 

 

Well, I hope that can help. Remember, however, that everything in life is temporary and relationships are no exception.

[Necrobean]

I just can't anymore. It has been the fourth night without any sleep at all and it has been going like this for over a year. There is a whole story to tell and I will if you need the information for helping me out. After being 'in love' or whatever you want to call it for over two years. We're becoming alienated from each other due to various reasons. I'm broken, hurt, tormented. I just want to forget about it all. She was something special, something so... I can't explain it with words nor can I explain what I even felt for her. I will miss her so damned much and I can't possibly imagine my life without her but it's finally time to move on. Oh I wouldn't mind just being bossed around by her just a little more, hurt by her just a little more. I wish this wouldn't be true but I can't deny it anymore I 've lost her and I think that it's for good this time. (I'm the type of person who likes to get dominated, I like [bleep] attitudes, meh).

 

 

 

I just want to forget her. Every time I tell myself I will just ignore her, start thinking about her on a 'negative' way. I eventually crawl back to her. Please, if anybody could help me out of this hole of despair, I'd be ever so grateful. I don't think I'll ever forget about her. Do not suggest me to find a girl just to please myself, to forget about her. At the moment as I've read before (Solidus, I think?) I should meet up with new people, have some "back-up girls". Well, I know pretty people, people with awesome personalities. But it's just not the same. I hope I'll find some distraction for my mind. I really need my sleep but these thoughts just keep on coming back in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for the possible bad English or random sentences. A bit tired now.

 

 

 

Well I'll start off by saying you're almost normal in the sense that EVERYONE feels that way when they experience a loss of some kind, be it a girlfriend or even just a potential girlfriend (as in getting turned down by a girl you like). I'd say almost every guy has been there but you have reacted more strongly than the average (which I don't blame you, you lost a hell of a lot). The one thing in common? It's that bloddy one-itis problem again! This is what it causes and this is why preventing one-itis is an absolute necessity. If you prevent it, you can prevent the feelings of loss or rejection and all the sorrow that follows.

 

 

 

Let's see now. The first step is understanding the emotions. Well I don't think it's any surprise that you experience the grieving period after you lose the girl you get attached to her. It's kind of the same feeling of rejection, but much worse. Sorrow, pain, loss, feeling of uncertainty and all the other things they can create in turn. If you want to get out of this situation you need to first understand, then control, your emotions. Eventually, I can guarantee that you will heal with time, but the only way to speed it up would be to learn how to control your emotions. Right now you seem to be swamped by emotions, but I'm going to go out on a limb and presume this has something to do with your desire to be bossed around. I know this might feel uncomfortable for you but you need to stand up for yourself more, "being dominated" as part of a kinky BDSM fantasy is fine but not when you become dominated by your emotions. You can try to think about it objectively, try to look at the feelings individually and find ways to make you feel better (only you can come up with these things). Don't be too afraid to talk to people, just the act of talking itself helps sooth the pain. In fact, I kept ALL this PUA stuff secret to everybody except myself (TIF is the exception since the internet provides anonymity) and only decided to tell it to a really good friend of mine who kept it a secret. I had to do it because I was keeping too many feelings bottled up and just having someone to talk about this stuff with made it much easier. For you the context is different (loss rather than change/anxiety) but the principle is the same. Talk to other guys because I'm sure they have similar experiences (you can mix up the details if you feel insecure about it, but make sure and do it).

 

 

 

Now, those tactics that you mentioned. I'm glad that you tried to apply them. The one about trying to forget about her is a must, but nearly impossible given the situation. So how about this: Try and think about them in a different way. Try and associate her with something different. It's a bit tricky to explain but over time you'll eventually be able to associate this girl with the learning experience you got, rather than the incredible loss. If needed, you can also try to consider her negative qualities, or have a friend expose them. Think of her critically and then you'll stop obsessing over her. Also, continue pursuing other girls and having lots of options. The reason it hasn't worked so well with you, I think, is because it's more of a preventive method, used so you never get too attached to one person. That being said, it can't hurt to use it now, as the ability to have options should help a little bit get over your loss.

 

 

 

Well, I hope that can help. Remember, however, that everything in life is temporary and relationships are no exception.

 

 

 

I guess I should stand up to myself now, especially since I've lost her now. You made me laugh with the BDSM fantasy :lol: !

 

 

 

Oh, by the way. Those tactics in fact do work, quite the lot of girls have a sudden interest in me now. I think it's a bit the same like you, though. They're fun to be around and pretty overall but... I just don't see myself together with them. I'll keep on searching! Thanks for everything, once more. Ever thought of making a new branch in the medical sector? A love doktor :P .

[Solidus_77]

Good to hear, well my goal really is something in the PUA department. For that, I need to become master PUA and that is going to take some time. :

[Zierro]

I have a general question. I've heard girls find confidence attractive, but then I also heard girls like when guys are martyrs and self-pity also turns them on. Which one is more true?

[Solidus_77]

I have a general question. I've heard girls find confidence attractive, but then I also heard girls like when guys are martyrs and self-pity also turns them on. Which one is more true?

 

 

 

Definitely confidence. Many scenarios involve one guy teasing a girl and the other guy decides to "come to the rescue" to try and impress the girl. Since the whole thing is light-hearted, the girl will like the first guy. However if we're talking about a genuine threat, being brave and saving the girl well help but the previous situation is far more common.

[darlok]

Ok been a while since I posted on this forum. Had my school social last night(personal record of 5 hook ups), was pretty good but I forgot my phone. With one girl I wanted to get her number so I had to give her mine but she had left her phone in the cloakroom so she had to put my number on her friends phone. How long should I wait before giving up on her calling me? Just wondering if what the usual thing would be, she seemed really nice and was good looking and shy which is my favourite combo for some reason. The thing im scared of is her friends will pressure her into not calling me because they all go to expensive private schools and I go to a public school.

[Necrobean]

Ok been a while since I posted on this forum. Had my school social last night(personal record of 5 hook ups), was pretty good but I forgot my phone. With one girl I wanted to get her number so I had to give her mine but she had left her phone in the cloakroom so she had to put my number on her friends phone. How long should I wait before giving up on her calling me? Just wondering if what the usual thing would be, she seemed really nice and was good looking and shy which is my favourite combo for some reason. The thing im scared of is her friends will pressure her into not calling me because they all go to expensive private schools and I go to a public school.

 

 

 

Do you have her number now? Or not? If you do just drop her a message? You don't actually have to call her or vice versa.

[-griefer-]

Ok been a while since I posted on this forum. Had my school social last night(personal record of 5 hook ups), was pretty good but I forgot my phone. With one girl I wanted to get her number so I had to give her mine but she had left her phone in the cloakroom so she had to put my number on her friends phone. How long should I wait before giving up on her calling me? Just wondering if what the usual thing would be, she seemed really nice and was good looking and shy which is my favourite combo for some reason. The thing im scared of is her friends will pressure her into not calling me because they all go to expensive private schools and I go to a public school.

 

 

 

Do you have her number now? Or not? If you do just drop her a message? You don't actually have to call her or vice versa.

 

 

 

Darlok..first things first. You should've just got her number by writing it down or something. I'm sure there was some way to get it. If you get the number your in control of when you want to call her..she's the one thinking "I wonder when that guy might call me, or if he even will". But since you didn't my advice to you is just don't put alot of importance on her calling you. Just keep going with your everyday life. If she calls you then great. If she doesn't, then think of it as a learning experience, a mistake that won't happen next time you talk to a girl.

 

 

 

Hope this helped.

[Lenticular_J]

This isn't dealing with girls or anything, but my father. He's an alcoholic, but refuses to admit it. Sometimes he goes along just fine, but when he feels he needs to do yard work, he'll drink a case of beer at a time. I really don't want him and my mother to get a divorce, merely because I know how much worse my father's problem will get. Has anyone been in the same situation? Was there anything you could do about it? I'm the only one that seems to care. My mother overreacts and ignores him when he drinks, and as far as I know, doesn't bring up his problem.

 

 

 

I could really use some help.

[Necrobean]

This isn't dealing with girls or anything, but my father. He's an alcoholic, but refuses to admit it. Sometimes he goes along just fine, but when he feels he needs to do yard work, he'll drink a case of beer at a time. I really don't want him and my mother to get a divorce, merely because I know how much worse my father's problem will get. Has anyone been in the same situation? Was there anything you could do about it? I'm the only one that seems to care. My mother overreacts and ignores him when he drinks, and as far as I know, doesn't bring up his problem.

 

 

 

I could really use some help.

 

 

 

My mother decided to divorce with my biological father because of a drinking problem at the time I was aged 1. At first there was co-parenting, him picking me up every two weeks but eventually he started to "forget" me. He just wouldn't show up for picking me up and not let know about anything to my mother. He goes to the [bleep] he never paid the money that he was supposed to pay to my mother (Three children) and he still drinks. I never really cared about him because I barely knew him. Divorces never are easy and 99% of the cases never come good again. (I don't have a source. I made that up) You should try to handle the problem, get him over it. If you can't... I'm sorry but it's inevitable that if your mom can't take it anymore that a divorce will follow.

[issy2]

This isn't dealing with girls or anything, but my father. He's an alcoholic, but refuses to admit it. Sometimes he goes along just fine, but when he feels he needs to do yard work, he'll drink a case of beer at a time. I really don't want him and my mother to get a divorce, merely because I know how much worse my father's problem will get. Has anyone been in the same situation? Was there anything you could do about it? I'm the only one that seems to care. My mother overreacts and ignores him when he drinks, and as far as I know, doesn't bring up his problem.

 

 

 

I could really use some help.

 

 

 

My mother decided to divorce with my biological father because of a drinking problem at the time I was aged 1. At first there was co-parenting, him picking me up every two weeks but eventually he started to "forget" me. He just wouldn't show up for picking me up and not let know about anything to my mother. He goes to the [bleep] he never paid the money that he was supposed to pay to my mother (Three children) and he still drinks. I never really cared about him because I barely knew him. Divorces never are easy and 99% of the cases never come good again. (I don't have a source. I made that up) You should try to handle the problem, get him over it. If you can't... I'm sorry but it's inevitable that if your mom can't take it anymore that a divorce will follow.

 

 

 

The worst thing you could do is to get angry at him as that will probably make him worse. Try to make him understand how much this means to you, but be supportive, not critical. Talk to your mum about it, she will be able to help. If and when he admits his problem, you could get him to see a GP who'll help and advise him about how to give up.

[Xanotex]

Never thought i'd do this but..

 

 

 

I met a girl this afternoon and well i've sent over 200 text messages already, I guess that describes our friendship, she's just awesome and she just told me she thinks she's in love, well so do I but she lives far away. I told her that but she says she doesn't care, she's serious because her cousin told me she couldn't shut up about me.

 

 

 

I have butterflies but I don't know what to do.. =(

[Lenticular_J]

Do something drastic and romantic. Ride those butterflies to her home, then serenade her ala Aladdin.

[wolfmon56]

Do something drastic and romantic. Ride those butterflies to her home, then serenade her ala Aladdin.

 

 

 

rofl

 

that or...

 

 

 

Either tell her you can't manage the relationship because she lives to far away.

 

or

 

Keep in touch on msn, text, and phone, and visit her/she visits you every so often

[issy2]

Do something drastic and romantic. Ride those butterflies to her home, then serenade her ala Aladdin.

 

 

 

rofl

 

that or...

 

 

 

Either tell her you can't manage the relationship because she lives to far away.

 

or

 

Keep in touch on msn, text, and phone, and visit her/she visits you every so often

 

 

 

As wolfmon said it is kinda rofl, but do do something romantic, she'll love you even more! Ride over there with a rose or something, give it to her and take her out for a meal, or something along those lines. But DO NOT do that unless the distance doesn't bother you, don't get her hopes up and then break her heart. How far away does she live? Are we thinking other side of town, or 5 hours drive? You have to decide which is more important - the fact that you might not be able to see her all the time, or her personality. I'm not trying to indicate anything, it's totally your choice, but you have to decide.

[dragoonson]

Do something drastic and romantic. Ride those butterflies to her home, then serenade her ala Aladdin.

 

 

 

rofl

 

that or...

 

 

 

Either tell her you can't manage the relationship because she lives to far away.

 

or

 

Keep in touch on msn, text, and phone, and visit her/she visits you every so often

 

 

 

As wolfmon said it is kinda rofl, but do do something romantic, she'll love you even more! Ride over there with a rose or something, give it to her and take her out for a meal, or something along those lines. But DO NOT do that unless the distance doesn't bother you, don't get her hopes up and then break her heart. How far away does she live? Are we thinking other side of town, or 5 hours drive? You have to decide which is more important - the fact that you might not be able to see her all the time, or her personality. I'm not trying to indicate anything, it's totally your choice, but you have to decide.

 

 

 

On the butterflies?

 

 

 

Erm,here's something for you.I'm attached,but there's this girl,she works near me and she goes to the same school as me...We've talked,and we talk a lot each day,the thing is,I dream about HER,not the one I have.But there is no good way to end a relationship,especially with a reason such as a dream,and without good confirmation of getting the other girl,its not really good...

 

 

 

Know what I mean?

[Lenticular_J]

Dream as in sleepy time dreams? Because you shouldn't put too much faith in those. As it turned out, lobster men had not taken over the world. And I was the crazy guy that rushed into the middle of a garage sale with a Winchester.

 

 

 

But if you mean you want her more, make sure you do want her for her being her. Her her her her her. Not just because you can't have her.

[wolfmon56]

Erm,here's something for you.I'm attached,but there's this girl,she works near me and she goes to the same school as me...We've talked,and we talk a lot each day,the thing is,I dream about HER,not the one I have.But there is no good way to end a relationship,especially with a reason such as a dream,and without good confirmation of getting the other girl,its not really good...

 

 

 

Know what I mean?

 

 

 

If you like the person, then don't end the relationship. It's quite simple.

 

If you like someone else, just tell the person you want to break up/not get together (confused if your dating a person or not). It might be hard at first, but you'll both get over it.

 

Then go for the other person and if you come out short, look for someone else/go back to the first person.

 

Just remember, the average person dates 7 people before they find the right one.

[Orpheus]

I just need a few tips and pointers for getting a girlfriend, since I'm 16 and haven't had one yet.

 

 

 

People see me as a bit of both sides. Either I'm nice, or the next day i'm a complete arse who doesn't give a [cabbage] about what anyone thinks. If i want something, I will get it, no matter what happens. I simply just want a girlfriend because of the company and the fact I'd have fun, which is all I ask. Now whether I'm cool, this could go both ways. Mostly everyone either is my friend, or some idiot I'd rather have dead. I have a bit of a sense of humor, although mine is kinda tended toward sexuality and a darker sense, as in someone's pain makes me laugh. I just don't know how to create that "sexual tension" as Solidus stated a page back. As for my personality, I'm a very dark individual, as in my sense of humor, and I see the darker side of things. I personally don't play sports, because I simply tried and failed to get on any team whatsoever. I truly don't understand what it is I'm doing wrong, maybe it's that I haven't found the right one for me yet? I have had a lot of girls who were my friends, but if I did have a girlfriend, someone got in the way and took them from me, which drove me to try to get rid of them, whether it be through force or messing with them mentally.

[wolfmon56]

I just need a few tips and pointers for getting a girlfriend, since I'm 16 and haven't had one yet.

 

 

 

People see me as a bit of both sides. Either I'm nice, or the next day i'm a complete arse who doesn't give a [cabbage] about what anyone thinks. If i want something, I will get it, no matter what happens. I simply just want a girlfriend because of the company and the fact I'd have fun, which is all I ask. Now whether I'm cool, this could go both ways. Mostly everyone either is my friend, or some idiot I'd rather have dead. I have a bit of a sense of humor, although mine is kinda tended toward sexuality and a darker sense, as in someone's pain makes me laugh. I just don't know how to create that "sexual tension" as Solidus stated a page back. As for my personality, I'm a very dark individual, as in my sense of humor, and I see the darker side of things. I personally don't play sports, because I simply tried and failed to get on any team whatsoever. I truly don't understand what it is I'm doing wrong, maybe it's that I haven't found the right one for me yet? I have had a lot of girls who were my friends, but if I did have a girlfriend, someone got in the way and took them from me, which drove me to try to get rid of them, whether it be through force or messing with them mentally.

 

 

 

First off, don't get pissed at everything and be bipolar each day.

 

Seconded, if your friend started dating someone you liked, get over it, you were too slow.

 

And third, If you have a "goth-like" attitude towards life, find someone else with the same feelings :thumbsup:

[Powman3]

I just need a few tips and pointers for getting a girlfriend, since I'm 16 and haven't had one yet.

 

 

 

People see me as a bit of both sides. Either I'm nice, or the next day i'm a complete arse who doesn't give a [cabbage] about what anyone thinks. If i want something, I will get it, no matter what happens. I simply just want a girlfriend because of the company and the fact I'd have fun, which is all I ask. Now whether I'm cool, this could go both ways. Mostly everyone either is my friend, or some idiot I'd rather have dead. I have a bit of a sense of humor, although mine is kinda tended toward sexuality and a darker sense, as in someone's pain makes me laugh. I just don't know how to create that "sexual tension" as Solidus stated a page back. As for my personality, I'm a very dark individual, as in my sense of humor, and I see the darker side of things. I personally don't play sports, because I simply tried and failed to get on any team whatsoever. I truly don't understand what it is I'm doing wrong, maybe it's that I haven't found the right one for me yet? I have had a lot of girls who were my friends, but if I did have a girlfriend, someone got in the way and took them from me, which drove me to try to get rid of them, whether it be through force or messing with them mentally.

 

 

 

I recall you saying something about some girl in the "Ever Caught Them?" thread. What happened to her?