"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Sam]

Personally I think that type of personality is poisonous (I know from experience). Like mgw said, terminate the friendship. It's for the best.

[RpgGamer]

Rejection is a foreign concept to me.

 

I'm not a fan. This kinda blows

[decebal]

Funny little article I found:

 

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-buzz/craigslist-ad-desperatley-seeks-football-coach-man-lied-182405542.html

 

Now, I personally fond the guy to be a likeable person due to his loyalty to his girlfriend. Then I read this:

 

I think my girlfriend still really likes her ex and when we first started dating she cheated on me a few times with him, so I really can't risk looking like an idiot in front of both of them.

 

Just wanted to share it with you guys, trying to see your opinions on the article (hell, you might get a couple hundred for helping him :P ).

[RpgGamer]

Funny little article I found:

 

http://ca.news.yahoo...-182405542.html

 

Now, I personally fond the guy to be a likeable person due to his loyalty to his girlfriend. Then I read this:

 

I think my girlfriend still really likes her ex and when we first started dating she cheated on me a few times with him, so I really can't risk looking like an idiot in front of both of them.

 

Just wanted to share it with you guys, trying to see your opinions on the article (hell, you might get a couple hundred for helping him :P ).

 

She better be a [bleep]ing model or something to go through that amount of trouble. damn. Seems like a chill dude, but why is he okay at all chilling with his girl and her ex at the same time given their history?

 

I'd help him, but my football knowledge isn't as extensive as it could be. I know a little, but...there's better out there. Best of luck to the poor SOB haha

[muggiwhplar]

What a great example of how not to be a man in a relationship (and life in general...)

 

Lying, and then paying $500 to help cover up the lie, all to impress a stranger, and to keep your girlfriend interested (who's probably cheating on him anyways)

 

Somebody slap some sense into this guy! lol

 

Kinda sad knowing that this kind of behavior is not uncommon among most men in the modern world :( :wall:

[RpgGamer]

Alright so I talked to the girl that I mentioned earlier with the relationship riff raff. I can't help but feel it's mostly my fault, but in a cosmic sense it was going to happen regardless. She's been talking to this dude for like 2 years and they're closer than I probably could have gotten. Kind of like I was beat before I started. And I can live with that. Sometimes you just gotta appreciate a good relationship when you see it, even if you could have been part of it. Sucks I got left behind, but...I'll get another chance with someone else. And it's not like I didn't have my fun with her while we were hooking up. I got some experience, some memories, and I learned something about myself.

 

And that's what really counts.

 

I guess hahahaha

[Ezkaton]

Alright so I talked to the girl that I mentioned earlier with the relationship riff raff. I can't help but feel it's mostly my fault, but in a cosmic sense it was going to happen regardless. She's been talking to this dude for like 2 years and they're closer than I probably could have gotten. Kind of like I was beat before I started. And I can live with that. Sometimes you just gotta appreciate a good relationship when you see it, even if you could have been part of it. Sucks I got left behind, but...I'll get another chance with someone else. And it's not like I didn't have my fun with her while we were hooking up. I got some experience, some memories, and I learned something about myself.

 

And that's what really counts.

 

I guess hahahaha

 

Wish I had your outlook on life sometimes tbh.

[TTanT]

Semi-question semi-venting:

 

So my girlfriend of two years dropped the bomb in a rather unpleasant way today.

 

She'd been getting more and more distant lately, failing to message me and refusing to kiss me between classes. I was egtting really annoyed at this, and ask half-jokingly "Do you still want to be with me?" Or soemthing along those lines.

 

She answered no. We've agreed on a week long "trial epriod" to make certain she's sure, but I doubt anything sis rue and I may just cut it off tomorrow so as to make recovery faster and such (but likely not, I'm anything but logical with this stuff).

So yeah, I think I already know the answer to this, but should I try to save the relationship? Or let it go and move on?

 

I tried not to egt too angsty with this psot, but I'm feeling angsty so eh. I apologize for any typoes but I'm not in the mood to fix them right now. I will later.

[Surprises]

Semi-question semi-venting:

 

So my girlfriend of two years dropped the bomb in a rather unpleasant way today.

 

She'd been getting more and more distant lately, failing to message me and refusing to kiss me between classes. I was getting really annoyed at this, and ask half-jokingly "Do you still want to be with me?" Or soemthing along those lines.

 

She answered no. We've agreed on a week long "trial period" to make certain she's sure, but I doubt anything sis rue and I may just cut it off tomorrow so as to make recovery faster and such (but likely not, I'm anything but logical with this stuff).

So yeah, I think I already know the answer to this, but should I try to save the relationship? Or let it go and move on?

 

I tried not to get too angsty with this post, but I'm feeling angsty so eh. I apologize for any typoes but I'm not in the mood to fix them right now. I will later.

 

You seem to have got too clingy ("Failing to message me/Refusing to kiss me".) No, she has made it clear she wants out, not worth trying to save.

[TTanT]

Semi-question semi-venting:

 

So my girlfriend of two years dropped the bomb in a rather unpleasant way today.

 

She'd been getting more and more distant lately, failing to message me and refusing to kiss me between classes. I was getting really annoyed at this, and ask half-jokingly "Do you still want to be with me?" Or soemthing along those lines.

 

She answered no. We've agreed on a week long "trial period" to make certain she's sure, but I doubt anything sis rue and I may just cut it off tomorrow so as to make recovery faster and such (but likely not, I'm anything but logical with this stuff).

So yeah, I think I already know the answer to this, but should I try to save the relationship? Or let it go and move on?

 

I tried not to get too angsty with this post, but I'm feeling angsty so eh. I apologize for any typoes but I'm not in the mood to fix them right now. I will later.

 

You seem to have got too clingy ("Failing to message me/Refusing to kiss me".) No, she has made it clear she wants out, not worth trying to save.

Eh, I was a bit clingy but had been for the entirety of the relationship and so had she. But I kinda see your point.

[muggiwhplar]

Eh, I was a bit clingy but had been for the entirety of the relationship

 

There's your problem.

[StrOwez]

Alright so I talked to the girl that I mentioned earlier with the relationship riff raff. I can't help but feel it's mostly my fault, but in a cosmic sense it was going to happen regardless. She's been talking to this dude for like 2 years and they're closer than I probably could have gotten. Kind of like I was beat before I started. And I can live with that. Sometimes you just gotta appreciate a good relationship when you see it, even if you could have been part of it. Sucks I got left behind, but...I'll get another chance with someone else. And it's not like I didn't have my fun with her while we were hooking up. I got some experience, some memories, and I learned something about myself.

 

And that's what really counts.

 

I guess hahahaha

 

that's a great attitude

[RpgGamer]

Semi-question semi-venting:

 

So my girlfriend of two years dropped the bomb in a rather unpleasant way today.

 

She'd been getting more and more distant lately, failing to message me and refusing to kiss me between classes. I was getting really annoyed at this, and ask half-jokingly "Do you still want to be with me?" Or soemthing along those lines.

 

She answered no. We've agreed on a week long "trial period" to make certain she's sure, but I doubt anything sis rue and I may just cut it off tomorrow so as to make recovery faster and such (but likely not, I'm anything but logical with this stuff).

So yeah, I think I already know the answer to this, but should I try to save the relationship? Or let it go and move on?

 

I tried not to get too angsty with this post, but I'm feeling angsty so eh. I apologize for any typoes but I'm not in the mood to fix them right now. I will later.

 

You seem to have got too clingy ("Failing to message me/Refusing to kiss me".) No, she has made it clear she wants out, not worth trying to save.

Eh, I was a bit clingy but had been for the entirety of the relationship and so had she. But I kinda see your point.

 

Shame our society sees affection as a turn off. Really makes little sense when you think about it.

 

I say you break up with her at the first available moment, even if over a phone call. Then immediately hook up with another girl. You'll spin her head around so fast she'll be begging for you back.

 

I'm half kidding of course. In reality it seems your relationship has hit an end point. My true recommendation would be to rip the band-aid off and move on with your life to spare yourself the horrible week of "I don't know how she's going to feel, how should i look/act/say/feel, etc". Trust me, those "trial break up" things are horrible. If you're that heavy into considering ending it that you're willing to test the waters of singularity, it's already over.

[TTanT]

Well, I've exercised and showered and pretty much cleared my head, and I think I'm feeling a lot more rational now.

 

I'm probably going to end it tomorrow, and try to use this as an opportuntiy to transform myself a bit. (Aka do more homework, practice karate more, and get a better hairstyle because I'm due for a haircut.)

 

I figure the shock of being single after two years will help with that stuff some if I channel it right.

I've pretty much resolved to end the trial period early tomorrow. The only hard part will be getting over her while staying friends (which I want to do, even on an entirely non-romantic level, judging that she knows more about me than basically anyone).

 

In other news, I still suck at typing and had to correct no less than eight typoes from that message.

[muggiwhplar]

The only hard part will be getting over her while staying friends (which I want to do, even on an entirely non-romantic level, judging that she knows more about me than basically anyone).

 

That's not gonna happen w/o cutting her out of your life completely for an extended period of time.

[Ezkaton]

The only hard part will be getting over her while staying friends (which I want to do, even on an entirely non-romantic level, judging that she knows more about me than basically anyone).

 

That's not gonna happen w/o cutting her out of your life completely for an extended period of time.

 

Muggi is right. It's unfortunate, but becoming friends with her wont happen unless you do cut her out for a very long time.

[RpgGamer]

The only hard part will be getting over her while staying friends (which I want to do, even on an entirely non-romantic level, judging that she knows more about me than basically anyone).

 

That's not gonna happen w/o cutting her out of your life completely for an extended period of time.

 

Yeah there's no way in hell you can say "I don't want to be with you, but let's be friends" in the same sentence. Put some space between the two thoughts. In fact - let her come to you with the friendship proposal.

[Vezon Dash]

The only hard part will be getting over her while staying friends (which I want to do, even on an entirely non-romantic level, judging that she knows more about me than basically anyone).

 

That's not gonna happen w/o cutting her out of your life completely for an extended period of time.

 

Yeah there's no way in hell you can say "I don't want to be with you, but let's be friends" in the same sentence. Put some space between the two thoughts. In fact - let her come to you with the friendship proposal.

 

From experience, being friends with her just won't be the same.

[Iamdan]

Shame our society sees affection as a turn off. Really makes little sense when you think about it.

Being clingy isn't the same as showing affection though. Affection is good, but too much can be suffocating. Neediness is straight up a women repellent.

[muggiwhplar]

Shame our society sees affection as a turn off. Really makes little sense when you think about it.

Being clingy isn't the same as showing affection though. Affection is good, but too much can be suffocating. Neediness is straight up a women repellent.

 

And it's not society that sees it as a turnoff. It's biology.

[Iamdan]

Speaking of biology, I'm reading an excellent book called the selfish gene by dawkins (famous on the internet for the god delusion) that I can recommend to anyone interested in attraction science. It's philosophy, evolution, biology and reproduction all tied together.

 

It starts talking about evolution from molecules, and how they started building "survival machines" because molecules which mutated into something that lasts longer, replicated faster or more accurately ended up dominating. Eg molecules which broke down others for materials to help replicate. It then goes on to show genes are the modern molecules, and bodies are the best current method of survival for them. We then are influenced by our biology to replicate in a certain way in order for these genes to have the best chance of survival.

[TTanT]

So I decided to screw it all and try soemthing different when she decided to talk to me via phone (well technically Pokemon voicechat, but hey).

 

I pretty much tried to be as teasing and such as possible, and learned several things.

1: She still liked me a lot, just "as a best friend"

2: She'd be willing to be friends with benefits with me (which is odd for her character, as she's nothing if not reserved, and defintiely associates sex with love heavily). There are obvious issues when this is considered with number 1.

3: She had no intention of dating anyone else, nor had anyone in her eye.

 

So the next day I showed up to school with the following things in mind:

FWB+BF=significant other, according to my mental math. And obviously she hadn't given her full reasons for ending the relationship.

 

So I took some of the advice I'd read on this thread over the ages and played the teasing, "push pull" effects off as well as I could. Towards the end of the day we even got into a grappling fight (we both take martial arts, and I gave her 5 tries to try to take me down then took her down when she failed).

At the end of the day we talked again, and she basically confessed that her motivations were that she didn't want to be with anyone.

Knowing that she has had major self-esteem issues in the past, I made the connection. We talked for a while longer and then got cut off before I could finish my attempt to boost her self-esteem and find out if that was truely the cause. So I went to bed pretty much sure the relationship was done for.

 

Getting at school I was getting ready to mvoe my stuff out of her locker when she said "I don't think you'll have to do that." It flew entirely over my head at first, but then it clicked. And yeah, we're back togetehr now (since yesterday) and things are running smoothly again.

 

I hoenstly have no clue which thing I did caused this, but will probably ask her why she changed her mind later.

My hopeful guess though was that the combination of treating the relationship ending as her loss with pointing out to her how FWB who are BFs are basically dating at that point (especially if neither of them are the polygamous sort) finally worked its way through to her.

Either way I'll find out her reasoning later.

 

So yeah, assuming she doesn't flip around again we're at a happy ending here. And thanks for this thread guys, since without the stuff I've learned from it long-term I wouldn't have known half the stuff I did about this situation.

[Vezon Dash]

So I decided to screw it all and try soemthing different when she decided to talk to me via phone (well technically Pokemon voicechat, but hey).

 

I pretty much tried to be as teasing and such as possible, and learned several things.

1: She still liked me a lot, just "as a best friend"

2: She'd be willing to be friends with benefits with me (which is odd for her character, as she's nothing if not reserved, and defintiely associates sex with love heavily). There are obvious issues when this is considered with number 1.

3: She had no intention of dating anyone else, nor had anyone in her eye.

 

So the next day I showed up to school with the following things in mind:

FWB+BF=significant other, according to my mental math. And obviously she hadn't given her full reasons for ending the relationship.

 

So I took some of the advice I'd read on this thread over the ages and played the teasing, "push pull" effects off as well as I could. Towards the end of the day we even got into a grappling fight (we both take martial arts, and I gave her 5 tries to try to take me down then took her down when she failed).

At the end of the day we talked again, and she basically confessed that her motivations were that she didn't want to be with anyone.

Knowing that she has had major self-esteem issues in the past, I made the connection. We talked for a while longer and then got cut off before I could finish my attempt to boost her self-esteem and find out if that was truely the cause. So I went to bed pretty much sure the relationship was done for.

 

Getting at school I was getting ready to mvoe my stuff out of her locker when she said "I don't think you'll have to do that." It flew entirely over my head at first, but then it clicked. And yeah, we're back togetehr now (since yesterday) and things are running smoothly again.

 

I hoenstly have no clue which thing I did caused this, but will probably ask her why she changed her mind later.

My hopeful guess though was that the combination of treating the relationship ending as her loss with pointing out to her how FWB who are BFs are basically dating at that point (especially if neither of them are the polygamous sort) finally worked its way through to her.

Either way I'll find out her reasoning later.

 

So yeah, assuming she doesn't flip around again we're at a happy ending here. And thanks for this thread guys, since without the stuff I've learned from it long-term I wouldn't have known half the stuff I did about this situation.

I still suggest that you take things easy for awhile. This slight change in attitude could be temporary for all that you know, but regardless, I'm glad that things worked out for you as of now.

[RpgGamer]

It's why we're here TTanT :P

[Flyingjj]

So, I figured some of you might still remember me and be interested to know. (Plus "success" stories are always a good thing in this thread.)

 

Simply put, I'm engaged. :grin: