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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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Think Estonia. I only know 3 TIFers from my whole freaking country. And none are OTers.

 

Anyways, today was the senior prom. And I danced with multiple girls as I said I will do.

But what was interesting was that you know that one girl who I now totally [bleep]ing hate and who is dead to me? She noticed that I ignored her.And I did ignore her totally. I also heard that she had always got what she wanted, never been rejected for anything. But tonight, before I left, she sat next to me and kissed me on the cheek and said don't hate me. While I ignored her. This was the first time she ever even remotely was thinking about me like that. Make your own presumptions, but she is still dead to me.

 

 

Tl; dr a girl was never interested in me until I fully ignored her. Wow. Didn't think it works. And am not going to pursue anything.

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So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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Think Estonia. I only know 3 TIFers from my whole freaking country. And none are OTers.

 

Anyways, today was the senior prom. And I danced with multiple girls as I said I will do.

But what was interesting was that you know that one girl who I now totally [bleep]ing hate and who is dead to me? She noticed that I ignored her.And I did ignore her totally. I also heard that she had always got what she wanted, never been rejected for anything. But tonight, before I left, she sat next to me and kissed me on the cheek and said don't hate me. While I ignored her. This was the first time she ever even remotely was thinking about me like that. Make your own presumptions, but she is still dead to me.

 

 

Tl; dr a girl was never interested in me until I fully ignored her. Wow. Didn't think it works. And am not going to pursue anything.

 

Girl logic is so dumb. Especially the one's that think themselves princesses

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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In other news, a close friend of mine's completely [kitty] whipped by his gf, sadly. I hang out with him (them) a lot, and in the past year, I've only been out alone with him twice. Because 99 times out of 100 his girlfriend's invited herself over and he's afraid to ever say "no" to her. Then when she's over, we have to do whatever she wants or else she gets upset. I keep inviting him out w/ me and my other friends to have a "bros night" sort of thing so he can get away from his gf, but she never lets him off the leash. Sigh. She's trying to get him to buy a house for them >_> It's painful to watch my friends be miserable and make stupid decisions (or at least refuse to make smart decisions). Anyways, I decided to quit hanging out with them. Don't get me wrong though-- he's cool and his girlfriend's cool. But when they're together, they're really unpleasant to be around lol.

 

Oh well. :-|

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In other news, a close friend of mine's completely [kitty] whipped by his gf, sadly. I hang out with him (them) a lot, and in the past year, I've only been out alone with him twice. Because 99 times out of 100 his girlfriend's invited herself over and he's afraid to ever say "no" to her. Then when she's over, we have to do whatever she wants or else she gets upset. I keep inviting him out w/ me and my other friends to have a "bros night" sort of thing so he can get away from his gf, but she never lets him off the leash. Sigh. She's trying to get him to buy a house for them >_> It's painful to watch my friends be miserable and make stupid decisions (or at least refuse to make smart decisions). Anyways, I decided to quit hanging out with them. Don't get me wrong though-- he's cool and his girlfriend's cool. But when they're together, they're really unpleasant to be around lol.

 

Oh well. :-|

 

I suppose you already tried talking to him about it?

 

 

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Yeah he's well-aware of what his "problem" is; he's just too afraid/lazy to do anything about it

 

Like I said though-- the only time I can talk about it with him is when his gf isnt around-- which is like once every 6 months lol

 

Me: hey you wanna go grab a beer w/ me after work?

Him: cant im going out to dinner w/ her family

Me: how about tomorrow night?

Him: cant i already promised her id hang out

 

She also bought a puppy, which she keeps at HIS place so she always has an excuse to come over lol. It's bad. :P

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In other news, a close friend of mine's completely [kitty] whipped by his gf, sadly. I hang out with him (them) a lot, and in the past year, I've only been out alone with him twice. Because 99 times out of 100 his girlfriend's invited herself over and he's afraid to ever say "no" to her. Then when she's over, we have to do whatever she wants or else she gets upset. I keep inviting him out w/ me and my other friends to have a "bros night" sort of thing so he can get away from his gf, but she never lets him off the leash. Sigh. She's trying to get him to buy a house for them >_> It's painful to watch my friends be miserable and make stupid decisions (or at least refuse to make smart decisions). Anyways, I decided to quit hanging out with them. Don't get me wrong though-- he's cool and his girlfriend's cool. But when they're together, they're really unpleasant to be around lol.

 

Oh well. :-|

 

 

One of the guys I work is kind of like that with his gf. I don't know how he does it. She's an absolutely horrendous [bleep]. Everyone at work tells him to get out of it, but he's always making excuses and says that he's so in love with her. He gets up every morning at 4:30 to sweep, swiffer, and mop the floors and do any other chores she wants him to do before he comes to work. This is all after she spends half her day cleaning the house since she only works half days, but if he doesn't do it she would flip out. She also has access to his bank account and he can't spend any money without her approval or he gets in shit. For Valentines day he spent a couple hundred dollars on her some of which included roses and a pair of earrings. She came to work that day and he hid the present in her car so she would see it after she went home. Well after she got home and opened her present she phoned him to yell at him and tell him how much she hates roses and the earrings and basically everything about his gift.

 

He has to phone her every coffee and lunch break and I think maybe once a week he doesn't get yelled at in those phone calls. One day she started yelling at him because he didn't hang his shirt up properly. She was crying and freaking out about how disrespectful it was of him to do that.

 

And after all of these "incidents" the guy will come back the next day saying things such as "Oh she was just stressed out, people just need to vent sometimes."

 

He can't wait to marry her and have kids and buy a house. It's insane.

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It's a pity that it's the stories about terrible relationships that get noticed here...and never the good ones.

 

What good ones?

 

I think that's because as a whole, no one really agrees entirely on what a "good relationship" looks like.

 

Also, most relationships these days are shitty to be entirely honest. /pessimism.

But really.

 

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@obfuscator, yeah people have different beliefs regarding what a "good" relationship looks like. you and I definitely have completely different views :P a lot of my other friends who are 3+ years into their relationships (or even married in some cases) probably consider their relationships good, but I don't. ultimately I think if your relationship is making you a happier/better person, then it's good. but sadly that's not really the case in most of my friends' relationships. :-| are they content/satisfied? yeah, most of them. but are they happy? that's up for debate, but I'd say no.

 

like me and this balloon i drew a face on, kathy

 

is she hot???

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If all relationships these days are shitty, it's because people are shitty.

 

Like those relationships muggi mentioned: the problem is not inherently monogamy, it's the people involved.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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I have a belief that some people only enter relationships out of a compulsive need to do so. In fact, I'm convinced this is more than a belief; I'm pretty much quoting some of my friends here: "I'm the kind of person who always needs to be in a relationship", "but you just feel so secure in a relationship", "When you're in a relationship it's about having someone who's always there for you no matter what."

 

All of these sentiments come from a deep-rooted feeling of insecurity, which is immature. Maturity is recognising not to put so much of your emotional stability on the shoulders of other people. I guarantee if my friends did that, their perception of a healthy relationship would change quite drastically.

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I have a belief that some people only enter relationships out of a compulsive need to do so. In fact, I'm convinced this is more than a belief; I'm pretty much quoting some of my friends here: "I'm the kind of person who always needs to be in a relationship", "but you just feel so secure in a relationship", "When you're in a relationship it's about having someone who's always there for you no matter what."

 

All of these sentiments come from a deep-rooted feeling of insecurity, which is immature. Maturity is recognising not to put so much of your emotional stability on the shoulders of other people. I guarantee if my friends did that, their perception of a healthy relationship would change quite drastically.

 

That's more of challenging the idea of community, which I would disagree with. We need community to survive.

 

Relationships, "love-focused" ones specifically, are not always due to insecurities. I would also argue you are young (comparatively) and many/most of your peers are probably around the same age. People are always going to be inseure, but as you grow older those insecurities (usually) change, and thus "mature" relationships result. But usually all the prior bullshit has screwed your mind so much that you don't know how to have a proper relationship in the first place anymore, regardless of maturity.

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I have a belief that some people only enter relationships out of a compulsive need to do so. In fact, I'm convinced this is more than a belief; I'm pretty much quoting some of my friends here: "I'm the kind of person who always needs to be in a relationship", "but you just feel so secure in a relationship", "When you're in a relationship it's about having someone who's always there for you no matter what."

 

All of these sentiments come from a deep-rooted feeling of insecurity, which is immature. Maturity is recognising not to put so much of your emotional stability on the shoulders of other people. I guarantee if my friends did that, their perception of a healthy relationship would change quite drastically.

I've observed exactly that. The need to fulfill social pressures to have a romantic relationship is what leads to disastrous relationships, marriages, and drama.

 

The italic part is really hilarious (because it's true!). Someone to have your back, you trust and make a bond, then brake up with you over text?

 

What does it mean to have a girlfriend? Someone to have sexual relations with? Or someone to trust and have a bond with?

If its the latter, then you can't trust your entire existence with someone within a few months.

If its the former, you're being honest, and can't trust your entire existence with them until you form a bond.

 

Forming bonds takes time, yet spend too much time and they call it "the friendzone" and they don't want to be your boy/girlfriend!

 

Ahh, the contradiction in these mainstream social views.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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It is true that the idealism which surrounds relationships when you're in your teens starts to wear off after a few failed attempts, and that people learn lessons from those failures.

 

Perhaps the middle ground we can agree on is that while relationships are generally a source of optimism and happiness for the two individuals involved and their friends/family, and should therefore be encouraged, people are more likely to enter relationships which will fail if they haven't fully realised why they're entering the relationship in the first place. Is it really because their new partner is that great, or is it that they're just too needy at that point in time, and "any port in a storm" will do.

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It is true that the idealism which surrounds relationships when you're in your teens starts to wear off after a few failed attempts, and that people learn lessons from those failures.

 

Perhaps the middle ground we can agree on is that while relationships are generally a source of optimism and happiness for the two individuals involved and their friends/family, and should therefore be encouraged, people are more likely to enter relationships which will fail if they haven't fully realised why they're entering the relationship in the first place. Is it really because their new partner is that great, or is it that they're just too needy at that point in time, and "any port in a storm" will do.

 

Exactly. The last paragraph is entirely true.

And I think to often people seeking relationships because evryone else is.

 

Someone was saying earlier that in order to view and interact well in a relationship, you have to be ok AND enjoy being single.

 

Personally I see relationships as a continuation of a very goodfriendahip with someone of the opposite gender (this being how I would govern a relationship). Thus I willnot even consider "dating" someone if I have not be "friendzoned" by them prior. If that makes sense. I want to be entirely comfortable with the person and underatand how they react to situations and if their reactions would compliment mine, if not it's setup for failure.

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Girlfriend and I decided to wait off on sex until both of us feel like we're ready. Honestly, I'm completely okay with this. It just means it'd be more special when it does happen.

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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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