Help With A Really Strict Parent

[Deathmath]

I'm a freshman in high school, have never been to a sleepover, can't be out past 6:00, get yelled at for a B, and because of this can't play rs, and have to use a 7 yr old computer.

 

Yeah...

 

Plus i'm two years ahead in maths, and am taking a college level C++ programming class.

 

 

 

Is this overbearing or not. Also others post what they think is overbearing, and what is the difference between being overbearing and caring

 

 

 

~Deathmath.

 

 

 

Note this may seem like a sympathy trap, but I am generally interested if this is normal or not, and what others have to deal with.

[No_99_Melee]

can't be out past 6:00

 

 

 

Yeah that's overbearing... In other words you get up, go to school, get back to your house, and do hw then sleep?

 

 

 

I couldn't live like that... The world isn't all about work and money. It's about fun! Why else would you want to live?

[Deathmath]

My point exactly. I said I'm not having any fun like this. They said, well, if you don't do well in school you'll eat it later. I said plenty of people with blue collar jobs have fun, I don't need to be a CEO. (And don't get me wrong, I am trying to do that ;O)

[mmmcannibalism]

yeah thats pretty overbearing

 

 

 

on the grades thing, anytime they attempt to lecture you for grades go on a giant speech about the level of demand your classes are and ask them to solve the hardest math problem you can give them. That type of thing got me off the hook, my parents just trust me to deal with my own grades now(still going to be top 1% but at least im not insane about straight a's)

 

 

 

If your in calculus or pre calc just ask them for help with it one day and laugh when they go :ohnoes:

[Nom]

Are you the oldest child? If so then your parents are just as new to this high school thing as you are. They may be trying to head off anything 'bad' because they've heard horror stories about what kids get up to these days.

 

 

 

If you're not, well, either way it's a bit over-protective (6:00 curfew is lame) but it'll get better. Your grades aren't going to remain straight A's, and they'll figure that out eventually and let you live a little.

[Deathmath]

I'm dealing with two valedictorians: unfortunately that wouldn't work. I've already got a B, but am in Adv. English, Adv. trig with an cabbagehead for a teacher, and some other difficult classes. Plus i've recently hadb ack surgery for scoliosis. how fun.

 

 

 

I'll try to change the curfew, never have that much tbh

[Omar]

Try to have friends over often, and have your parents learn to trust them. If they think you're not going to do anything stupid, they might let you out with them after 18:00.

[Deathmath]

Did I mention I can't play any video games until I have all As? :(

 

 

 

Anyways, it's not so much that she doesn't trust them, it's that she wants me studying/working at all times.

[deathdrow]

I'm dealing with two valedictorians: unfortunately that wouldn't work. I've already got a B, but am in Adv. English, Adv. trig with an cabbagehead for a teacher, and some other difficult classes. Plus i've recently hadb ack surgery for scoliosis. how fun.

 

 

 

I'll try to change the curfew, never have that much tbh

 

You could change the curfew with a bit of rebelling against your parents. If you just don't let them control you, there's not much they can do. Never a very good idea to do that though.

 

Did I mention I can't play any video games until I have all As? :(

 

 

 

Anyways, it's not so much that she doesn't trust them, it's that she wants me studying/working at all times.

 

That's just [bleep]ing ridiculous.

 

You're parents need to realize that for you to be able to be a functional person later on in life, you need to be given a chance to build your own self-responsibility. Them making you do things isn't gonna help in the future. It'll probably just [bleep] you over and make you not ever wanna do things.

 

My mum used to be like that. then I went through an extremely rebellious stage. I got into a lot of trouble. but learnt a lot too.

[Deathmath]

I'm dealing with two valedictorians: unfortunately that wouldn't work. I've already got a B, but am in Adv. English, Adv. trig with an cabbagehead for a teacher, and some other difficult classes. Plus i've recently hadb ack surgery for scoliosis. how fun.

 

 

 

I'll try to change the curfew, never have that much tbh

 

You could change the curfew with a bit of rebelling against your parents. If you just don't let them control you, there's not much they can do. Never a very good idea to do that though.

 

Did I mention I can't play any video games until I have all As? :(

 

 

 

Anyways, it's not so much that she doesn't trust them, it's that she wants me studying/working at all times.

 

That's just [bleep] ridiculous.

 

You're parents need to realize that for you to be able to be a functional person later on in life, you need to be given a chance to build your own self-responsibility. Them making you do things isn't gonna help in the future. It'll probably just [bleep] you over and make you not ever wanna do things.

 

My mum used to be like that. then I went through an extremely rebellious stage. I got into a lot of trouble. but learnt a lot too.

 

 

 

I started ot rebel recently, instead things tightened, and because of the surgery I feel sorta scared going out without consent just because i could have spasms or something.

[Lenticular_J]

Heh, your parents are completely insane. I don't have much to offer in advice, but just letting you know.

 

 

 

Having parents that're underachievers from the late seventies/early eighties is awesome.

[rangeor]

I'm dealing with two valedictorians: unfortunately that wouldn't work. I've already got a B, but am in Adv. English, Adv. trig with an cabbagehead for a teacher, and some other difficult classes. Plus i've recently hadb ack surgery for scoliosis. how fun.

 

 

 

I'll try to change the curfew, never have that much tbh

 

Oh wow, advanced trig as a freshman? That's what I'll be taking next year as a junior :lol: That does seem pretty overbearing, no video games till you get straight A's with classes like that. I dunno how to help you though, since I'm also dealing with not-nearly-as-bad-as-yours-but-still-pretty-overbearing-parents myself.

[Jernlov]

Harsh, but probably necessary.

[Barihawk]

Negotiate. In high school I went from an 8PM curfew to 11PM just by asking and agreeing to take on responsibilities and such. By my senior year I could stay out until 1AM as long as I asked them first.

 

 

 

Rebelling is stupid, and only serves to hurt familial relations. Negotiation is the first thing you should do.

[Orpheus]

Yeah, your parents are overbearing. Find the hardest problem of all your classes and present it to them.

 

 

 

Try negotiating, saying that all these constraints are going to make you a reclusive person after a while.

[Seraphi]

I would hate to be in your situation and would probably end up going insane.

 

I cannot live without freedom.

[i_love_burritos]

I think you've got it worse than me when I was in Junior High School.

 

 

 

How advanced, exactly is this advanced trigonometry ?

 

 

 

I don't know about the American Schooling System.

 

 

 

As for overbearing parents, I wasn't allowed to play computer games for 2 whole years, regardless of my marks.

 

 

 

Just to get this right, you're 13 ?

 

 

 

For those people who say to rebel, DONT.

 

 

 

You parents mean for the best of you, you'll thank them when you have your intended degree/major at a good college/university.

[Deathmath]

Necessary? Elaborate in that case. And i'll try to negotiate. (just tried to and they yelled at me saying that because I don't have all A's I can't possibly care. :wall:

[Seraphi]

Stand up to them. scream at them back, yell on about how you have so much pressure on you that its driving you insane, even if that is a lie. Quite literally, throw a tantrum.

[Lionheart_0]

Necessary? Elaborate in that case. And i'll try to negotiate. (just tried to and they yelled at me saying that because I don't have all A's I can't possibly care. :wall:

 

 

 

Have you explained to them that the grade A usually refers to 'going above and beyond' what you are meant to? Tell them that if you have a B, you are not really 'average', but it means you are at where you should be.

 

 

 

Stand up to them. scream at them back, yell on about how you have so much pressure on you that its driving you insane, even if that is a lie. Quite literally, throw a tantrum.

 

 

 

 

 

No. Worst advice. If anyone tried that, I would hope that their parents be harsher on their kid.

[ember3579]

If my parents done that, then I don't think that I'd be able to retain my composure. The fact that you haven't done anything violent to get them to be reasonable shows that you're a lot more patient than I am.

 

 

 

 

 

I'd honestly try reasoning with them first, show them just how nuts they're being with this. I'd also try showing them some of the things that you've been doing. If that doesn't work, negotiations might work, or some other form of easing them off (like getting them to trust your friends when you're out with them, for example). If that doesn't work, try and get someone else to reason with them, maybe a teacher or other authority figure. If that doesn't work, well, I think that only leaves rebellion. Just be prepared to literally fight for your freedom if that's the case.

[Seraphi]

 

 

 

Stand up to them. scream at them back, yell on about how you have so much pressure on you that its driving you insane, even if that is a lie. Quite literally, throw a tantrum.

 

 

 

 

 

No. Worst advice. If anyone tried that, I would hope that their parents be harsher on their kid.

 

So...you have massive amounts of pressure and rules holding you from having fun, should you suffer in silence?

 

In my eyes, if trying to negotiate gets you yelled at, this is the only way to get through.

[Racheya]

Yeah, they're pretty overbearing.

 

 

 

I don't know what age you are since American schools confuse me but I'm 16, almost 17. I don't really have a curfew since I don't go out, but 6 pm is stupid. SERIOUSLY. My little brother who is 9 stays out until 8/9. :wall: :wall:

 

 

 

You need to tell them you need some sort of space, show them you're not a little kid.

 

 

 

Also grades shouldn't matter. They do, but having to get A's to play games and that? Gawd :wall:

 

 

 

I'm not sure if comparing your parents to mine works exactly since I've always considered mine a bit useless to be honest. They drink a lot :| , but I DO know that your parents are way, WAY too overbearing. If they don't ease up on you then you'll find it hard later on in life.

 

 

 

Rebelling isn't a good idea though, you need to talk to them not make them think you're more of a kid and they're doing the right thing by keeping you under their thumb.

[Georgelemmons]

 

 

 

Stand up to them. scream at them back, yell on about how you have so much pressure on you that its driving you insane, even if that is a lie. Quite literally, throw a tantrum.

 

 

 

 

 

No. Worst advice. If anyone tried that, I would hope that their parents be harsher on their kid.

 

So...you have massive amounts of pressure and rules holding you from having fun, should you suffer in silence?

 

In my eyes, if trying to negotiate gets you yelled at, this is the only way to get through.

 

 

 

Terrible idea. Present your honest opinion, and if they yell at you, do it again and again until they get it. Throwing a fit won't get you anywhere.

[Nom]

I revise my position. You're being screwed out of life. Rectify this immediately.

 

 

 

Six PM curfew must be the first thing to go.

 

 

 

I don't know what age you are since American schools confuse me but I'm 16, almost 17. I don't really have a curfew since I don't go out, but 6 pm is stupid. SERIOUSLY. My little brother who is 9 stays out until 8/9. :wall: :wall:

 

 

 

Freshman in high school would put him at 14/15. Unless he skipped a grade or something.