Help With A Really Strict Parent

[Rsdude099]

Well, lets see here. You've got to make straight A's, your curfew is 6:00, you gotta study 4 hours a night...

 

So thats what its like to be in hell.

 

I'm sorry, but i'm gonna have to agree with the others on this. Get outside help.

 

 

 

Personally, I would have rebelled by now, lol. Probably would have gone nuts at this point, if my parents were so STUPIDLY ARROGANT and..and...and..

[aquariusman]

Wait, is it just one strict parent? Appeal to the other one. If it's both, then start rebelling, but keep the grades up. When they realize that you don't have to be studying for 4 hours a day to keep an 'A' average, they should be sane enough to let you go about they way you want. That's pretty much how it is with me and my parents. I do what I want, but if they know that I'm doing as well as I should, they tell me to tighten the slack.

 

 

 

Also, for the 6pm curfew, stay out 15-30 minutes later than that. They'll be mad the first few times, but if you keep at it, you can slowly raise the curfew. Just never let the grades drop, or else they will just get harder.

[Makoto_the_Phoenix]

To begin with, I must express my deepest condolences for your situation. Seriously, I thought I had it rough. 6PM is just too far. I mean, there are the neighborhood kids that are still runnin' around until sunset, man! :(

 

 

 

I was in your position at your age, although I didn't get nearly as many good grades as you did (and I didn't really pick up my interest in CS until about 16). It was my mom, who was rather strict about the grades I do, attendance, so forth, blah blah blah...anyway...

 

 

 

There's a way to resolve this conflict, and it won't involve a full-out rebellion or threats of suicide, the latter being by far the WORST idea to ever surface. My guess is that your parents don't want to see you fail, are worried for your health, and have extremely high expectations for you. That's typical of parents, it's just that many of the restrictions that are being levied against you are, in a word, obscene (no games until straight-As). Flipping through this post, my understanding of your "system" is as follows:

 

 

 

- You work extremely hard in school

 

- Rewards? What rewards?

 

- You don't get to spend much time out

 

- You have a medical condition (hoo boy, now THIS is big - almost perfectly explains the paranoia and borderline psychological abuse)

 

- You are miserable in your current situation, and you're fed up

 

 

 

Talks don't work as well as simple actions do. Prove to your parents that you're capable of staying out well into the wee hours of 7PM. Then 8PM. Just be back in before dinner (whenever that happens), and keep your grades high. Discuss with them that with your brains, you will probably never have to touch Burger King or any other fast food joint for that matter, and you've all but written your ticket to some of the more prestigious colleges in Cali. Play some games to keep the balance of doing homework, well...balanced. There are games out there that don't have to rot your brain, namely online Chess and some other puzzle games. Just make sure that during this period of quiet rebellion, you're at least meeting their minimum requirements. (From the looks of it, those minimums are just insane. Keep getting Bs, tune their silly yelling out for that, then carry on with your day.)

 

 

 

What this amounts to is borderline rebellion, but always make it absolutely clear what your intent is. Keep an open channel of communication with your parents, and sooner or later, they'll listen and back off. Honestly, tell me - what do you have to lose if they disagree with this? In my mind, they've all but taken away your will to leave the house.

 

[seriously, if they take any more away from you, it's probably grounds for psychological abuse.]

 

 

 

Lastly (and this is very important), do NOT outright disown your parents because of the crappy way they've treated you (crappy from my point of view). Having a relationship with your folks is one of the things that you will regret not having.

 

 

 

Just let us know how it all goes, and hopefully, you can get things worked out with them sooner or later. Now that you're 15, you should be able to stay out until at least 7PM by yourself.

 

 

[Aside]

[bonzeben23]

That's weak, I remember being yelled at for a 99% in math courses 2-3 years ahead of me in school. My parents wouldn't let me have people over at all but we were wealthy so I had a new computer every 18 months (my mom was an engineer, only the best for her.)

[Ax600]

tell them to go screw themselves :thumbsup:

[daniels911]

tell them to go screw themselves :thumbsup:

 

Always works.

[ember3579]

tell them to go screw themselves :thumbsup:

 

 

 

 

 

..... :wall: :wall: :wall: Do I even need to say it?

 

 

 

Can you give us an update on your current situation? I personally think that you really should run some of my ideas by a counselor or a similar authority figure and see what they think of them. Maybe they can provide some of their own.

[PlzPuddngPlz]

I thought my parents were bad with 20 mins of rs a day.

 

 

 

Anyways,

 

You said that they backed off when the person sent them a nasty e-mail, right? Maybe get said advisor to schedule a meeting with your parents about "how you're getting depressed in class", then insinuate that it's linked to the issues presented.

 

 

 

If that doesn't work, parent-child psyciatry meetings?

 

Use the "well-educated professional that knows more about the subject than you" to your full advantage.

[Robert_de_Sable]

That is positively overbearing and utterly unnecessary. Certainly your mother and father could make no argument to advocate their position here without sounding completely moronic. My advice in this case is to simply ignore them.

[das]

My point exactly. I said I'm not having any fun like this. They said, well, if you don't do well in school you'll eat it later. I said plenty of people with blue collar jobs have fun, I don't need to be a CEO. (And don't get me wrong, I am trying to do that ;O)

 

 

 

 

 

I was a straight A student until my Sophmore year of highschool, then to be blunt, I just didn't give a [bleep]. My school had lots of people no lifing for the top ten. I had a social life and still graduated in the top 50 with minimal effort. Did it impact my college choice? Not really, did it set me back for life? Nah. The top kid in my class? he tried to kill himself after being accepted to top flight school after being socially inept. #2 - She quit school and is in the peacecore - #3 - drinks more beer than anyone I know. Long story short, of my top 10 vs my top 100, the lower part of the top 100 is doing FAR better than the top 10, almost 5 years after highschool.

 

 

 

As a freshman in highschoo, My bedtime was 11 or 12, I honestly don't remember having one since middleschool and that was after WWE went off of the air whatever time that was 11:30 maybe? I never complained

 

 

 

My parents were originally annoyed when my grades dropped, but i told them I needed space and they gave it to me. n ow i have a nice part time job running an isp support center at night, I am going to graduate with a BSBA in computer information systems in a year and am working on my MSCA. I also had a social life - or freedom in highschool.

 

 

 

I think it's a bit jacked that your parents say you have nothing to be proud of. I have an IQ of 142, academically gifted and labeled as such. My college average is a B - C in Maths, but my parents are proud of my work ethic (work a part time job with 15 course hours) and they are proud of my accomplishments.

 

 

 

They are proud of me - being me.

 

 

 

Negotiation worked well for me on things like hanging out with friends in seedy pool halls, and the "Do this problem" worked well on my parents, they used to insist on checking my work, but my mother - who has done banking on a high level for over 20 years, says "We never use this [cabbage]" LOL.

 

 

 

As for video games? In all, I can tell you I sleep/skip my macro/micro economics class and apply what I've learned from rs and pulled a B in macro, A in micro, so in some ways games can be educational. Runescape has helped my own the fly maths quite a bit. it keeps me sharp. I cannot stress what message boards have done for my sorry [wagon] writing skills, and I cannot stress how the online social interaction has helped me become less socially inept over time.

 

 

 

As for advice - I don't have much sadly. But I will tell you right now - i took no honors courses, no regrets.

 

 

 

You could tell your parents my story, doubt they will care, or the story of my ex-coworker matt, a college degree with honors in engineering and had a hard time getting a real job because he had no work experience.

 

 

 

The harsh reality is - your going to need to escape via college and keep working on those grades to get a "Full ride" with dorming and the works, working to pay rent is hard and if you get a scholarship based on grades it's going to be hard to escape and keep your funding.

 

 

 

You can get my msn from the editoral board if you ever want to talk.

 

 

 

I wish you the best.

[Lenticular_J]

Haha, my parents can't help me with my homework. They admit they never use a single thing I'm learning. Where's Estonia? Who cares, I know how to make a campfire.

 

 

 

But I actually know both.

[re4p3r1]

I think all parents are strict but it is up to you to ignore them and do whatever the hell you want. My parents yell at me for school stuff and tons of other things but I never listen and now they lost all interest in me. :thumbsup:

[Lenticular_J]

I do believe that is not good.

[Ax600]

another idea:

 

 

 

get their email, send it to me, and i will write them a message concerning your privileges... I'd even add comments from the form here.

 

 

 

i love e-mail!

[Ax600]

bumping the dead thread ftw 8-)

[tintin113]

Wow your parents are really pushing you far too hard. You're obviously doing better than most people at school, and 6.00??? How are you meant to do anything before that time and still get your homework done? If they carry on like this it will have very negative effects on your social life, however sociable you are naturally. Unfortunately I can't think of anyway to get around this because parents are unbeleivably stubborn to being talked into things without slap-in-the-face style proof which is difficult to do for something like this.

[Deathmath]

I'm back up to an A average but am now getting lectured on cleaning up around the house >.> One thing to another. I tried staying out to 6:10 but they brought the curfew in to 5:00... :wall:

[Wisp]

Ask them why you can't stay out past whatever it is now.

 

They'll probably give some mostly BS reason, tell them that it's [cabbage].

 

Tell them your not a little kid anymore, and 5, or 6 is just ridiculous.

 

You're getting A's. you should have some freedom

[RichieMcD]

Tell them if they don't start letting you out to a reasonable time now it will start having some serious effects on your future social life and social skills. 6 o clock is just idiotic, I've never had to be in so early, the earliest I've had to be in for was 9 and now it's about 1-2 on the weekends. 6 is just pure unreasonable.

[Tim_Finch]

I'm back up to an A average but am now getting lectured on cleaning up around the house >.> One thing to another. I tried staying out to 6:10 but they brought the curfew in to 5:00... :wall:

 

 

 

Jesus Christ! Seriously, have you tried talking to a guidance counselor or somebody? Or the advice suggested by me or others earlier?

 

 

 

It's been a month since this thread died, I was always curious about your progress with this case, and concerned... This is borderline criminal.

[PlzPuddngPlz]

I'm back up to an A average but am now getting lectured on cleaning up around the house >.> One thing to another. I tried staying out to 6:10 but they brought the curfew in to 5:00... :wall:

 

 

 

Jesus Christ! Seriously, have you tried talking to a guidance counselor or somebody? Or the advice suggested by me or others earlier?

 

 

 

It's been a month since this thread died, I was always curious about your progress with this case, and concerned... This is borderline criminal.

 

I've been wondering too.

 

 

 

OT: Did you try my "guy-who-knows-more-about-the-subject-than-you" approach?

 

 

 

EDIT:Also, maybe you could explain how this is ruining your social standing, which will cause you to become introverted and get picked on a lot.

[ember3579]

...... I'm sorry if I come off as being rude, but have you tried ANYTHING that I have said, or even read it? I'm not an absolute expert, but I think that it's some decent advice. Seriously, Do I have to f#$king call up Doctor Phil and have him look at this thread?

[Returned3]

On some school days, I don't even come home until at least 6:30pm with all the activities that I currently have.

[Mollerz]

On some school days, I don't even come home until at least 6:30pm with all the activities that I currently have.

 

 

 

Yeah same. Seriously, speak to your school counselor. Not being in after 5:00 getting straight A's? Bloody hell.

[bemyfrend0]

You're around 14/15 right?

 

 

 

Your parents are pushing you the right way, half the people i know whos parents were leniant in these things, are heading way down the wrong track.

 

 

 

Ask them if you can stay out till dark each night, dunno what that's like in America but in Australian summers that can be as late as 9 or as early as 5.

 

 

 

Stick in there but the rewards you will reap in later life are only going to be good if you can look back and say "I was on the brink of ruining all this".

 

 

 

The top can only be fully appreciated if you're been on the bottom.