Real life help & advice

[K4ylan]

And next time, don't do any serious studying the day before a big test. The day before should be mostly reviewing key ideas.

[Ouchy]

:mellow: My exams are 3 weeks away, K4ylan. I never said once that they were tomorrow.

[Jeffwilson99]

Would you guys recommend pulling an all nighter for study? Kinda just realised how much I've still got to go over for mocks and I'm fretting about time.

 

To be fair, pulling an all nighter makes it sound as though you have something big coming up soon.

 

Plus mock exams? Three weeks is heaps of time for those, plus they're only mock exams. You'd be more worried if they were real exams, but mock exams are usually easier because ideas are fresher in your head. NCEA exams are pretty chill tbh, except for a few tricky subjects.

[Ginger_Warrior]

All nighters don't really work, unless you're kind of person that's fine only doing the barest minimum when you're capable of so much more. Because the barest minimum is the standard of work all-nighters tend to produce.

 

It's not a substitute for effective revision.

[Wongtong]

Would you guys recommend pulling an all nighter for study? Kinda just realised how much I've still got to go over for mocks and I'm fretting about time.

3 weeks is plenty.. I have 1 and a half (as you can tell by my signature), and I'm not fretting at all.

 

Prioritise which content you should study first - exams that are coming up first should be studied first. You will have the mock exam period to study (no classes to stop you from studying) and so you will be able to study a lot between exams.

[Noxx]

While on the topic of Exams, i need some input.

I've got about 3 000 pages divided into 6 books that i need to know like the palm of my hand within the next 7 - 8 weeks. It's an Aviation course so it's basically everything from how the human body and related factors influences your performance, how an Aeroplane works, basic flying training, meteorology and aviation law, radiotelephony, and some geography/navigation. A lot of it is fairly easy (most of it actually) but here and there some of the technicals get to me. I've been going back and forth between what the best method of studying would be but as i've never really been a star student i don't exactly know what would be the best. Three options are as follows:

 

1.) Do an equal amount of each book, each day. Say 2 chapters/book or 15pages/book.

2.) Focus on 2 books at a time. Get them done. Move on to the next 2.

3.) Focus on 2 books at a time. Get them done. Move on to the next 2. Once i've completed all 6 books start working on them a second time doing equal segments of each book per day.

 

Which would be more beneficial.

[Wongtong]

While on the topic of Exams, i need some input.

I've got about 3 000 pages divided into 6 books that i need to know like the palm of my hand within the next 7 - 8 weeks. It's an Aviation course so it's basically everything from how the human body and related factors influences your performance, how an Aeroplane works, basic flying training, meteorology and aviation law, radiotelephony, and some geography/navigation. A lot of it is fairly easy (most of it actually) but here and there some of the technicals get to me. I've been going back and forth between what the best method of studying would be but as i've never really been a star student i don't exactly know what would be the best. Three options are as follows:

 

1.) Do an equal amount of each book, each day. Say 2 chapters/book or 15pages/book.

2.) Focus on 2 books at a time. Get them done. Move on to the next 2.

3.) Focus on 2 books at a time. Get them done. Move on to the next 2. Once i've completed all 6 books start working on them a second time doing equal segments of each book per day.

 

Which would be more beneficial.

 

Different study methods work for different people.

 

The only way to truly figure out what works best for you is to try it out yourself.

 

Personally, I would do #2. I've been doing that recently.. Work from two different textbooks (different subjects) and alternate between each textbook.

[Maze]

Okay, so, I realized I was bisexual yesterday.

 

My brother came out to me recently (he is gay), and it made me look into my own sexuality.

 

I realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I had some special feelings for some men but I never really thought about it. I've always been somewhat feminine (ponies don't count).

 

I'm atheist and liberal, but for some reason, I feel really guilty about it. I don't know why. My parents are conservative Christians and I'm sure they would be really disappointed if they found out. I'm ashamed but I don't want to be. I feel uncomfortable about myself atm.

 

This is probably a more serious post here, but how do I deal with this?

[obfuscator]

Okay, so, I realized I was bisexual yesterday.

 

My brother came out to me recently (he is gay), and it made me look into my own sexuality.

 

I realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I had some special feelings for some men but I never really thought about it. I've always been somewhat feminine (ponies don't count).

 

I'm atheist and liberal, but for some reason, I feel really guilty about it. I don't know why. My parents are conservative Christians and I'm sure they would be really disappointed if they found out. I'm ashamed but I don't want to be. I feel uncomfortable about myself atm.

 

This is probably a more serious post here, but how do I deal with this?

Don't tell them until they need to know?

 

That said, a lot of people having confusing sexual feelings in their teens - you may change your mind again or start feeling differently. (not to say you're lying).

[Noxx]

Okay, so, I realized I was bisexual yesterday.

 

My brother came out to me recently (he is gay), and it made me look into my own sexuality.

 

I realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I had some special feelings for some men but I never really thought about it. I've always been somewhat feminine (ponies don't count).

 

I'm atheist and liberal, but for some reason, I feel really guilty about it. I don't know why. My parents are conservative Christians and I'm sure they would be really disappointed if they found out. I'm ashamed but I don't want to be. I feel uncomfortable about myself atm.

 

This is probably a more serious post here, but how do I deal with this?

To be honest, i think what you're feeling is natural. Being true to yourself by admitting you are bisexual/homosexual, whatever the case might be, is something that may change your lifestyle a lot without you knowing it. Society has always been against homosexuals/bisexuals, so it's also natural that you might feel ashamed. Maybe because you feel you're not 'normal' in the eyes of society. If your parents are the Christians they say they are, they should accept you regardless of your sexuality. That said, i would still keep it from them until they REALLY need to know. Keeping this secret from them is going to become a burden on you though, so i would advise you to find someone to talk to it about (perhaps a friend or your brother).

I can't really say much more because i have never gone through something like this myself. But i did have a friend in high school (he was one of my best friends) who would often do things that made me thing he was homosexual. I always figured he was just too scared to admit it to himself. So admitting it is already a huge step ad you should be proud of yourself for that.

[Omar]

Society has always been against homosexuals/bisexuals

Nope, it wasn't a problem in Ancient Greece. Women were always at home so you know. The only time they left was to go to funerals; that always caused a ruckus.

 

Anyway, according to Ginger there is a growing body of evidence pointing to the fact that everyone is bisexual to a certain degree. Not only is what you're going through normal, but it's also sometimes temporary, as obfuscator pointed out.

[RpgGamer]

is 18% APR high for a first credit card? [self dependent college student under 21]

[Maze]

Thank you, TIFers.

 

I came out to a friend of mine (who is a female) on the bus, because she happened to ask. She was okay with it.

 

I was comfortable because I didn't know her all that well and we don't really hang out. Coming out to close friends is going to be really hard for me.

 

And I've realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I found men in movies attractive, but I didn't really pay attention to it and thought it was natural.

[Noxx]

Thank you, TIFers.

 

I came out to a friend of mine (who is a female) on the bus, because she happened to ask. She was okay with it.

 

I was comfortable because I didn't know her all that well and we don't really hang out. Coming out to close friends is going to be really hard for me.

 

And I've realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I found men in movies attractive, but I didn't really pay attention to it and thought it was natural.

A lot of guys i know are like that. I find guys like Johnny Depp and Adam Brody attractive. That does not make me bisexual. Rather just comfortable with my sexuality. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but one never knows.

Also, although girls can be a lot more empathetic that guys on most occasions i really feel like this is something that would be better discussed with a guy friend. Someone that's more like you, in a manner of speaking. Someone that understands (more or less) how your brain works. None the less, you've taken a huge step already.

 

@ Omar: I meant the more modern society. Not ancient Rome/Greece. Trying to compare "modern society" to that...no.

[obfuscator]

Thank you, TIFers.

 

I came out to a friend of mine (who is a female) on the bus, because she happened to ask. She was okay with it.

 

I was comfortable because I didn't know her all that well and we don't really hang out. Coming out to close friends is going to be really hard for me.

 

And I've realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I found men in movies attractive, but I didn't really pay attention to it and thought it was natural.

Like Noxx said, that's normal to some degree.

 

At your age there's no need to really worry about it, just live life and see how it goes. No need to stress about it.

[Omar]

@ Omar: I meant the more modern society. Not ancient Rome/Greece. Trying to compare "modern society" to that...no.

You said always, but all I really wanted was to talk about men having a tough time staying calm at funerals.

[Jeffwilson99]

Okay, so, I realized I was bisexual yesterday.

 

My brother came out to me recently (he is gay), and it made me look into my own sexuality.

 

I realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I had some special feelings for some men but I never really thought about it. I've always been somewhat feminine (ponies don't count).

 

I'm atheist and liberal, but for some reason, I feel really guilty about it. I don't know why. My parents are conservative Christians and I'm sure they would be really disappointed if they found out. I'm ashamed but I don't want to be. I feel uncomfortable about myself atm.

 

This is probably a more serious post here, but how do I deal with this?

 

Has your brother told your parents yet?

 

I agree with some of the others, I don't really think there is much of a need to tell everyone just yet. It must be a pretty hard thing to do.

[Maze]

Has your brother told your parents yet?

No.

[I_am_Geed]

Has your brother told your parents yet?

No.

 

When the time comes, you'll feel right and you'll be able to comfortable with your decision and telling others. But take your own pace.

[Guest Rob]

Has your brother told your parents yet?

No.

 

When the time comes, you'll feel right and you'll be able to comfortable with your decision and telling others. But take your own pace.

I have to agree with this. Don't tell yourself they need to know, just tell whoever you feel comfortable telling, when you feel comfortable telling them so.

[Hakaan]

Question for TIF.

 

How can I get over my self-doubt and negativity? It's really holding me back in a lot of things when I feel like I can't be myself because no one will like me, which is a negative thought; vicious cycle of negativity leading to no friends and then no friends leading to more negativity. I feel trapped.

[Maleficus1055]

Question for TIF.

 

How can I get over my self-doubt and negativity? It's really holding me back in a lot of things when I feel like I can't be myself because no one will like me, which is a negative thought; vicious cycle of negativity leading to no friends and then no friends leading to more negativity. I feel trapped.

Look at the positive aspects of every situation and force yourself to not pay attention to any negative aspects. Start thinking of yourself better, whether it be looks or personality. Believe you're a better and happier person and you will be.

[Omar]

a) Regardless of what people think, do what you believe in. If you try to please everyone you'll be a watered-down version of yourself.

b) Smile to people when you pass them by in the street. a) Makes you feel happy, chemically speaking b) Makes you realize you aren't repulsive as people will smile back most of the time. Don't put on a big grin though, people will think they don't remember who you are.

c) Set some goals. Non-Runescape-related ones. And while you're at it, slow down a little on Runescape (if you're playing a lot that is). Write them down. On paper. With a pen. Not a pencil. It's harder to get distracted on paper.

d) Groom properly (Put This On has a video for that; you don't need to go to the barber and get a massage though); pay attention to how you dress. Look good, feel good. If you want a list of style blogs, send me a message.

e) Exercise. Also makes you feel very good, because you're doing something for yourself, and also releases endorphins.

 

[Editor's note: I just went to see what the Art Of Manliness said on the subject; it's basically the above, plus:]

 

Learn a new skill. Confident men are constant learners. By learning a new skill, you demonstrate to yourself that you’re capable of adapting to anything that life throws at you. There are millions of skills that you can acquire in this life. Find one you’ve always wanted to know and get to work on it. Want to know a martial art? Call a dojo and sign up for a class. Want to learn how to fix a car? Go to the library today and check out books on auto repair. Just do something, damn it!

You don't have to become an engineer. Do you cook? If you don't make yourself (heck, if you live with other people, make everyone) something simple to eat. It's always tastier when you stirred the pot yourself. If you think you'll mess up and your lemon sherbet will turn into a brick of lemon-y ice (true story), try it for yourself, then for others.

 

Take stock of past success. Sit down in your man chair and dim the lights. Think back to moments in life when you were successful. They don’t have to be huge successes. By remembering past successes, you’ll show yourself you’re not a complete screw up. Realizing you can succeed breeds confidence to take on new activities. Write down these pasts successes in a journal. When you need a confidence boost, whip it out and look through them.

This needs to be stressed: if you can't think of anything, think harder. It doesn't matter if it happened long ago: you did things others were incapable of doing at some point, and you need to write those things down. Get a piece of paper out. Now. You're probably reading this with the unconscious plan to think it through and decide later. Don't, you'll just forget. Especially if you're on your computer all day like me, you'll be attacked with so much information you won't decide at all, which is just like deciding not to do it. So get a piece of paper out right now.

h) Last but not least, when you're with people, don't be obnoxious. People don't like self-deprecation unless there's not a single chance you might be serious; then it's awkward. Force yourself not to say negative things, and soon it'll come naturally. You'll even make jokes. :lol:

[Crocefisso]

Okay, so, I realized I was bisexual yesterday.

 

My brother came out to me recently (he is gay), and it made me look into my own sexuality.

 

I realized that I was bisexual for years and didn't know it. I had some special feelings for some men but I never really thought about it. I've always been somewhat feminine (ponies don't count).

 

I'm atheist and liberal, but for some reason, I feel really guilty about it. I don't know why. My parents are conservative Christians and I'm sure they would be really disappointed if they found out. I'm ashamed but I don't want to be. I feel uncomfortable about myself atm.

 

This is probably a more serious post here, but how do I deal with this?

Don't tell them until they need to know?

 

That said, a lot of people having confusing sexual feelings in their teens - you may change your mind again or start feeling differently. (not to say you're lying).

This is very sound advice, Maze. Our culture expects people to reach maturity far too early and leads them to confusion. Being serious, I know people who've come out as gay or bi only to renege years later because they took their teen feelings too seriously - this happened in Britain, where gayness is accepted by all political groups and clinics to 'cure' gays don't exist, so the chance that he reneged because of societal pressure is very low.

 

If you were "bisexual for years and didn't know it", there's also a chance that you didn't know it because you're actually not. I hope I'm making sense without trying to deny you your sexuality.

[Duff]

Just adding to what's been said, I've had odd feelings towards some of my guy friends, and I don't consider myself gay. Some of them are very good looking and have style, and I notice it. Others have extremely attractive personalities that I like a lot.

 

But when it comes down to it, these 'boy crushes' or whatever the hell you want to call them, are pretty normal. I consider such friends as some of my best. I like being around those whose personalities I find really attractive, not cause I'm gay, but because it's enjoyable and we get along well. I'd never ever consider doing anything physical with them, and that's where I kinda know that I'm not gay/bisexual.

 

Anyway, just to repeat what's been said, every guy is a little bit gay/bisexual, no matter what he says. And it may simply be a phase, so if you can continue living your life as you have been, just do that. No need to jump to conclusions and cause unnecessary issues to arise.