Assume Nothing Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 One moar - (really old, taxed joke) What did the egg say to the boiling water? [hide]It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid![/hide] Mods; This is a jokes thread, I think it's fine to be in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Novusgamer Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 I don't know if this is okay mods can delete if it's to bad There were three old ladys sitting on a bench, a man comes by and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke, the second onld lady had a stroke, but the third old lady couldn't reach! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nine naked men Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Why do some people wear glasses when they do math? It improves division. I am so so sorry sleep like dead men wake up like dead men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacos Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I was with a friend on the highway when we passed an old horse container behind some truck. Then he said "That doesn't look very stable." _________________________________________________________________________ There was once a man hunting with a riffle. Suddenly he saw a mallard and prepared his gun. Unluckily for the man, just as he shot, it ducked. Puns ftw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanyTheSailor Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 God dammit Seany, STOP SHARING MY MIND" I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin. I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... I'm a monster.What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
re4p3r1 Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 i'm gonna make like a donut and see you around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nine naked men Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? [spoiler=Answer!]To get to the other side. sleep like dead men wake up like dead men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comical Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 So this guy comes into a bar...Wait no it's a horse...So this guy comes into a horse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScriptMak3r Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 A dyslexic walks into a bar. The bar tender asks, "What will you have?" The dyslexic replies, ".esaelp reeb enO"btw, on the RS forums, I have spoken yaw taht. "'Balance is power!'- Guthix" -Script Mak3r, the Maker of Scripts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBeATank Posted September 6, 2010 Share Posted September 6, 2010 Where do you find a turtle with no legs? right where you left it! :razz: Do keep a level head my friend,in times when Danger rears its headAgainst excessive joy defend,O, my comrade doomed to die. ἢ τὰν ἢ ἐπὶ τὰς Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comical Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 What's greater than god, more evil than the devil, and if you eat it, you'll die? [hide]Nothing![/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 I like my women how I like my coffee: ground up and locked in the pantry. Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samaster Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Your mum joke... RS version Your mums so fat she has enough 'chins' to get to 99 range! ----- So I'm here sitting in the internet café and the fattest bloke I have ever seen is watching every word I typ.... ----- Last night my girlfriend called me a lazy ass, I was so shocked I nearly fell off my stair lift. ----- A husband and a wife are arguing in the car, is has been silent for over 30 minutes when they drive past a farm and see a few pigs and cows. "Relatives of yours?" the woman says sarcastically. "yep" replies they husband "in-laws" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTanT Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 A priest is sitting in a bar and the devil walks inThe priest sees the devil and shouts "Don't you try to tempt me, devil!"The devil replies: "You're a priest in a bar. My job here is done." The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joodevi Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 My Joke: Boss: Where were you born?Santa: UK ..Boss: which part?Santa: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in UK . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexaduro Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 When life gives you lemons, test the explosive properties of lemon oil. 10:53 PM - retech9691: I feel the need10:53 PM - retech9691: To include many chasms in my story arc10:53 PM - Resistance: You mean plotholes? Remember, Remember, the 4th of NovemberRIP Dawngate ;-; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jehosaphat Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 When life gives you lemons, test the explosive properties of lemon oil.When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges.When life gives you lemons, squirt 'em in your younger sibling's eye.When life gives you lemons, throw them at a dorf and tell him to make booze.When life gives you lemons, use the juice for invisible ink.When life gives you lemons, sell 'em. When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he makes banana juice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kata_Phfract__the_slayer Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 warning: ya mum jokes. ya mums so ugly, that when training slayer.the monsters die faster when she takes of her slayer helm! ya mums so fat,she got 99 smithing from makeing one platebody. ya mums so fat,she got 99 woodcuting by walking to falador. ya mums so fat, when shes got to the back of the wildshe was still going over the front! I'm a Brony and proud of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abc1230 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 A cowboy walked into a bar. He got cancer and died. YouTube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foursideking Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 A farmer, surgeon, and accountant are all in hell, where they meet the devil. The devil tells them that they can each leave and go to heaven, but only if they scare him.The farmer is first, and, although mentioning slaughtering pigs, the devil isn't scared, and sends him away.The surgeon is next, and, although mentioning slicing through numerous organs, doesn't manage to scare him, and is sent away.The accountant then begins to laugh, and says "here's what I did to the economy...." An angry farmer comes home one day and, deciding to let off a little steam, goes to vent in his nearby barn. The farmer feels that it'd be better to discuss his day aloud, and starts to talk to himself, mentioning parts from his horrible day. The farmer says, 'well, I was sitting in my car, annoyed at my cheating wife, when someone comes up to the car door'.Surprisingly, as if coming from the heavens, a voice replies 'who?, who?'The farmer, surprised by the voice, carries on. 'This super-cute police officer came up to my window, arresting me because she suspected me of being drunk, which I was not. Angrily posting bail using all the money I had left, I came home and discovered something.'Yet again, the farmer surprisingly hears the same voice, this time replying 'who, who who who'. The farmer, still surprised, carries on.'Well, I couldn't believe it. My wife of 20years was cheating on our neighbor. Angry from this, I killed them both, the neighbors immediately calling the police. Now, the question is, who would care about me should I successfully flee to mexico, and escape this life'Yet again, the farmer hears the same voice, seeming to agree with him by saying 'who, who, who'.The farmer, seemingly happy by the voice, says his thanks to it and leaves before the police arrive. Meanwhile....2 owls are listening to a boombox in the rafters of the barn. One owl says 'who let the dogs out?', the other replying 'who, who who who'. Lol, sry for double post, I just found this joke too funny... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iNeppg Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito? A mosquito usually stops sucking when you slap it first time. How many male chauvinists do you need to change a bulb? Zero, the [bleep] doesn't need a light to wash the dishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Viola Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Women's rights Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nine naked men Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 What is the worst part about rollerblading? Usually the stress placed on one's ankles and lower back due to improper lacing, support, and posture. sleep like dead men wake up like dead men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Observer Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 So I cleaned up this thread a little bit. It appears inactivity got to it which resulted in it being handled so late. We try and keep moderation lenient, however may I remind you guys that offensive or tasteless jokes will be removed and will result in action taken against your forum account. Since the posts were so old (months to a year old) I've just simply removed them without further consequence. However, if you decide to repost them or post them despite this warning I won't hesitate to take action against your account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Viola Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? [spoiler=Spoiler]The NBA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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