psvstef Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 You know you live in 2008 when.. 1.)You accidentally enter your pass on a microwave. 2.)You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3.)The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name. 4.)You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv. 6.)Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.)You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling. 8.)As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.)And you were too busy to notice number 5 10.)You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5. 11.)And now you're laughing at your stupidity. :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathdrow Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 there was a tomatoe dad and a tomatoe son in a father son race. the son was walking slowly. so the dad told him to hurry, the son started running as fast as he could but he was still falling behind. so the father stepped on him and said "ketchup" Can you please, like, tell jokes that are actually funny? But that is a funny joke. Just not really really funny. But its still funny. in a lame way. #-o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Yes. It's a kneeslapper. *slaps knee* Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psvstef Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 there are 2 people on a roof. 1 jumps off the roof and the other one is called nick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Viola Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 So this guy signs up for the Marines and the recruiter asks for his name and the guy says, "Jack [cabbage]s". Then the recruiter tells him he'll have to change his name to join the Marines. Jack says, "Alright." Three months later, Jack comes back, and the recruiter asks him what his new name is and Jack says, "Joe [cabbage]s." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 Two guys are drinking on the roof of a bar, completely smashed and being served constantly by a bartender. One guy starts talking about how great alcohol is for you, and to prove it he says, "Look what I can do when I'm drunk!" and jumps off the roof. Miraculously, he simply floats back up before hitting the ground. The other man looks on in wonder, then proclaims, "Wow! Let me try that!". he jumps off, hits the ground and dies. The bartender looks at the man and says, "Wow Superman, you're a real [wagon] when you're drunk." Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minicliper13 Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 You know you live in 2008 when.. 1.)You accidentally enter your pass on a microwave. 2.)You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3.)The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name. 4.)You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv. 6.)Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.)You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling. 8.)As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.)And you were too busy to notice number 5 10.)You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5. 11.)And now you're laughing at your stupidity. :lol: :lol: 7 and up all me :wall: :wall: :lol: and i cant use the buttons on my tv either... stupid whatever it is i actualy NEED the remote... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayOxide Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Psvstef owned me hard. If I were more awake I'd probably run into a wall laughing so hard being blinded and wanted to be knocked out cause my guts were twisting >.> I dont need a siggy no moar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Here's a joke for ya. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. OH GOD, PULL OUT PULL OUT. *Jumps out window* That's what she said. :twss: Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaah Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 A senator, a priest, and a quadriplegic walk into a bar. Oh wait... /FG/First thread post to when I joined the family.[hide=Insert rant here]blahblahblahLIFE[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minicliper13 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 A senator, a priest, and a quadriplegic walk into a bar. Oh wait... ... ... ...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Quadriplegics don't walk. Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 What do you call a a blond with a brain? [hide=answer]A golden retriever.[/hide] Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Viola Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 So two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks. A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some sort of joke?" An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Rabbi walk into a bar and the Rabbi says, "I think I'm in the wrong joke." So an engineer, a scientist, and a mathematician look at a building that is supposed to be empty. Two people walk into the building and three come out. The engineer deduces it was an error in the way they looked at it, the scientist says they multiplied, and the mathematician says that if another person goes into the building, no one will be in the building. [hide=If you don't get the last joke]There was no one in the building, so 0, two people entered the building. 2. So, 0+2=2. Three people left the building. 2-3. Which means that -1 people are in it. -1 plus 1 equals 0.[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamster Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 You know you're trailer trash if your 12-year old daughter smokes in front of her kids. Ah, this reminds me about the noob on the Runescape forums who was upset with the quest "Cold War" because apparently his grandparents died in the war. :wall: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 So an engineer, a scientist, and a mathematician look at a building that is supposed to be empty. Two people walk into the building and three come out. The engineer deduces it was an error in the way they looked at it, the scientist says they multiplied, and the mathematician says that if another person goes into the building, no one will be in the building. [hide=If you don't get the last joke]There was no one in the building, so 0, two people entered the building. 2. So, 0+2=2. Three people left the building. 2-3. Which means that -1 people are in it. -1 plus 1 equals 0.[/hide] Thank you for explaining the joke to us. None of us here would have ever thought that it could be funny like that, we just don't have heads for maths. By the way, that entire thing was in massive sarcasm quotes. Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yes_Its_Ross Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Thank you for explaining the joke to us. None of us here would have ever thought that it could be funny like that, we just don't have heads for maths. By the way, that entire thing was in massive sarcasm quotes. I didn't get it :lol: ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Then there must be something wrong with you. Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgrazotis Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 [hide=]Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she. --- How many dead babies does it take to cover the roof? Depends how thin you slice them. --- How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet First! How do you take it out? Tostito chips! --- What's the difference between a wheelbarrow full of dead babies and a wheelbarrow full of bowling balls? You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork. --- What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One can be smashed with a hammer and is full of tasty red stuff, and the other is just a watermelon. --- What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? You take your cleats off before you jump on a trampoline. --- What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts? You can't gargle gravel. --- What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h? Stopping it with a shovel. --- What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage. --- Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was chained to a bumper --- What's grosser than gross? A garbage can full of dead babies. What's grosser than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What's grosser than that? He has to eat his way to freedom. What's grosser than that? He goes back for more.[/hide] --- That's all for now... Dead Baby jokes = win i LOL'd so hard at this especially the last few thanks to mitsubishi64 who made this sig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fubol Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 HAHAHA :XD: [hide=HAHA]pudding!! :mrgreen:[/hide] Signature by LittleboyRunescape and impatient people are like ying and yang, they exist as one, they need each other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_burritos Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Why did the plane crash ? [hide=Answer]The Pilot was a tomato, Co-pilot was a radish by the way. (Just if you wanted to know)[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcneilp Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 How do you get a fat chick into bed? [hide=]Piece of cake.[/hide] How do you know Princess Diana was a vegetarian? [hide=]There was a big turnip at the funeral.[/hide] British weather is like Muslims, it's either Sunni Or Shi'ite. It isn't in the castle, It isn't in the mist, It's a calling of the waters, As they break to show, The new Black Death, With reactors aglow, Do you think your security, Can keep you in purity, You will not shake us off above or belowScottish frictionScottish fiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pureprayer Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 http://www.theonion.com/content/news/te ... _next_9_11 The whole article is a joke Pureprayer, you're awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cg141 Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 ok... I have a few corny jokes: 1.why are mushrooms good at parties? Because they're quite fungi's 2.two parrots sitting on a perch one smells something fishy 3.why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with 4.what do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea 5.what do you call a deer with no eyes or legs ?still no idea 6.what do you call a blind dinosaur? A doyouthinkhesaurus 7.a blond and a brunette jump of a building who hits the ground first? The brunette because the blond had to stop for directions :twss: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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