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All jokes and such here please!

Featured Replies

Where does Michael Jackson order at a Chinese restaurant?

 

 

 

Yung Boi [drumroll]

safari20hat11.jpg

 

We should euthanize anyone who lacks the capability to contribute to society in any way.

Please don't elect this man for president in 2012

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Where does Michael Jackson order at a Chinese restaurant?

 

 

 

Yung Boi [drumroll]

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

a guy goes on tif

 

a girl goes on tif

 

 

 

------later that night------

 

 

guy: wanna help me post a reply

 

girl: of course

 

guy: yeah right there keep posting

 

girl: just like that?

 

guy: yeah use both hands

 

 

 

------Information--------

 

This message has been posted successfully.

 

 

 

View your submitted message

 

 

 

Return to the forum last visited

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i dont get it

 

Think of it as... petting a... snake...

 

 

 

 

 

Nope...sorry. Still dont get it :|

The girl is jacking off the guy :wall:

2nv5bvl.png
99 Firemaking 30-5-2010 | 99 Fletching 13-7-2014
TET-AU member:6-10-2010 - 21-10-2011

What did 50-Cent say to his Grandma when he saw her making socks for him?

 

 

 

GEE, YOU KNIT?

 

 

 

:twss:

FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

I found an old French WWII rifle on E-bay. It sounded like it was in pretty good condition.

 

 

 

The description read "Never used, dropped once".

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

What did 50-Cent say to his Grandma when he saw her making socks for him?

 

 

 

GEE, YOU KNIT?

 

 

 

:twss:

 

#-o

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

What did 50-Cent say to his Grandma when he saw her making socks for him?

 

 

 

GEE, YOU KNIT?

 

#-o

 

 

 

I chuckled.

newsigzl2.jpg

^Sir Jem 05-The Bunny Drinking Blog?^ Click it!

tetsupportsig2.jpg

What did 50-Cent say to his Grandma when he saw her making socks for him?

 

 

 

GEE, YOU KNIT?

 

 

 

:twss:

 

#-o

 

:wall: :wall: :wall:

Dharoks, emo's ultimate weapon if you know what i'm sayin. :lol:
Very nice 10/10

For a second when I was looking at your drop-list picture. Ilooked at the dragon longsword and said "They have a dragon longsword now??" ohh I'm tired :wall:

..., then I noticed a gravestone where our tank was supposed to be and my health was a 1 digit number again.

John is home from the Army-trainingcamp

 

he comes inside the house and his mom says"and,my noy,what have you learned?"

 

john gets his gun up and shoots his name in the cieling

 

"very nice my boy" his mom says

 

they go outside,john grabs a handgrenade and trows it on the chicken coop

 

the chicken coop is blowen to pieces

 

his mom says "its so awfull your father cant see what youve learned"

 

'why not?' asks john

 

'he was just feeding the chickens'

2nv5bvl.png
99 Firemaking 30-5-2010 | 99 Fletching 13-7-2014
TET-AU member:6-10-2010 - 21-10-2011

Why are there so many trees planted along the Paris streets?

 

 

 

The Germans like to march in the shade.

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

 

 

 

[hide=Heh.]Robin, get in the car.[/hide]

FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

  • 2 weeks later...

There was a boy and a girl

 

The boy said to the girl "I got 3 tickets to the new movie in town, so we can have fun tonight'

 

The girl said "Why 3?"

 

The boy said "Theyre for your mom, dad, and little sister"

 

\' :twss: :oops:

Your jokes suck.

 

 

 

Mine are just incredibly lame. :twss:

 

 

 

How did the farmer count his cows?

 

 

 

[hide=Answer]With a cowculator![/hide]

FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

 

 

 

How did the farmer count his cows?

 

 

 

[hide=Answer]With a cowculator![/hide]

 

facepalmplz.jpgdoublefacepalmplz.pngtriplefacepalmplz.pngquadfacepalmplz.pngdodecafacepalmplz.pnggoogolfacepalmplz.png

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[hide=Heh.]Robin, get in the car.[/hide]

 

 

 

that was funny.

What would you discover if you found bones on the moon?

 

 

 

[hide=]That the cow didn't make it :lol:[/hide]

What did one frog say to the other?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[hide=Answer]Time's sure fun when you're having flies![/hide]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I annoying anyone yet? =DDD

FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

What do you get when you cross an orange with a fan?

 

 

 

 

 

a bicycle because vests have no sleeves.

sotwbar7.png

sig-1.png

1980 Berlinetta with a 350, bored, mild cam, intake carb, headers, exhaust

There was an american during ww2 that was captured by the germans. For some reason, they decided to take him back to base, only accessably by plane because it was on the other side of the mountians. So, they have the american in the back with roughtly 20 germans guarding him (he was a high ranking american officer). The poilets, as they were passing over the mountians, suddenly lost one of their engines and dipped down. The place swooped down and struck the very tip of the mountian, tearing out the bottom. Suddenly, the pilots yelled back to the men, who were all hanging into the seats wich were around the outside of the the fuesalage, not the middle where the plane was open that they needed just 1 person to jump and they would be able to fly again due to less weight. The american, being heroic, sais "ill do it"

 

 

 

all the germans clap

Screenshot2011-08-18at14818PM-1.png
What do you get when you cross an orange with a fan?

 

 

 

 

 

a bicycle because vests have no sleeves.

 

 

 

wtf....soo not funny...sooo FAIL!

What do you get when you cross an orange with a fan?

 

 

 

 

 

a bicycle because vests have no sleeves.

 

 

 

wtf....soo not funny...sooo FAIL!

 

If you're flying over the desert and you get a flat tire, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

 

 

 

Because there's not enough barbeque sauce on the chicken wings!

whalenuke.png

Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

angel2w.gif

What did one frog say to the other?

 

 

 

[hide=Answer]Time's sure fun when you're having flies![/hide]

 

 

 

Am I annoying anyone yet? =DDD

 

No, that one was actually good :D

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

Whats red and shaped like a bucket?

 

A red bucket

 

 

 

Whats red and smells like blue paint?

 

Red paint

 

 

 

A guy walks into a bar :wall: like that... doesn't it hurt?

 

 

 

A skeleton orders a beer and a mop.

Manitstinks.gif

lolud0.pnglol2ni3.png

What did one frog say to the other?

 

 

 

[hide=Answer]Time's sure fun when you're having flies![/hide]

 

 

 

Am I annoying anyone yet? =DDD

 

No, that one was actually good :D

 

 

 

Buggrit, obviously I'm not doing my job properly.

 

 

 

Why are proctologists so gloomy?

 

[hide=Answer]They always have the end in sight.[/hide]

 

 

 

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?

 

 

 

What was the centerpiece of the annual Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?

 

[hide=Answer]A cake jumping out of a girl.[/hide]

FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

 

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?

 

 

 

 

 

 

ok...that's funny, but I take offense to that..

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