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Noobs say the funniest things!


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I got this yesterday

 

 

 

 

 

Noob:hi im jagex

 

Me:ok...........

 

Noob: we are running a free 1 month trial for members

 

Noob: just give me your age adress and location

 

Me: reported

 

Noob:idc noob

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This really happened(ya i know its not funny)

Proud to do nothing but pick cabbage for the ooc!

http://z4.invisionfree.com/The_Order_of ... /index.php?

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Noob1: OMG!!! My brother is going to be so happy for me!

 

Noob2: Why?

 

Noob1: Because, I just got on his account and made him some profit!!!

 

Noob2: How did you do that?!?

 

Noob1: I checked the prices on his crown he was wearing with the general store and it was only 2 gp!

 

Noob1: I sold it to another player for 100K!!!!

 

Noob2: OMG! Your so lucky! I wish I had 100K!

 

Noob1: I know, he's going to be so happy with me and he'll probably give me 50K!

 

Me: LMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

^this one made me laugh alot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

lol me too

 

 

 

there was one noob wha was wondering where the wildy was.. i gladly showed him :lol:

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F2P FOR LIFE!!!

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ok on my last day of members i decided to have some fun. so i went to world 2 and whacked all the merchants with my rubber chicken.

 

 

 

one was funny. he was lvl 85 with full drag:

 

 

 

me: *whack*

 

he: stop it

 

me: no haha *whack*

 

he: reported!

 

me: for what?

 

he: bug abuse

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Back in the day, when having an Addy hally made you all the rage (yeah, i find that hard to believe as well) I remember this convo:

 

 

 

Noob: Nice axe on a stick

 

Me: It's called a halberd

 

Noob: Kwl

 

Noob: Can I buy ur long axe?

 

Me: nfs

 

Noob: Why not?

 

Me: I'm using it

 

Noob: well where can i get one?

 

Me: Tyras Camp

 

 

 

a few days later by pm...

 

 

 

Noob: I'm reporting you for item scamming

 

Me:...what?

 

Noob: I added tyras camp, but he hasnt been on in days, you trying to trick me

 

 

 

I just couldnt believe this guy had spent the best part of a week looking for a player named "Tyras Camp"

QPC Holder

 

It'll take a cunning stunt to get them done though...

 

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Ok this happened in the wizard's tower of all places

 

 

 

Me: (2 hitting wizards)

 

LV 48: Can I have some money?

 

Me: No

 

LV 48: Plz I'm poor

 

Me: No one likes beggers

 

LV 48: I'm not a begger

 

Me: O really. You were just begging for coins so therefor you are a begger

 

LV 48: I'm not a begger I'm lv 48

 

Me: Thats the sad thing. A lv 48 is begging

 

Lv 48: Your a noob

 

 

 

Note I'm level 60 and he was wearing full steel with a mith scim

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i was in varrock when a level 3 came up to me..

 

 

 

noob: hey level ** can you give me a job?

 

me: like what kind do you want?

 

noob: woodcutting?

 

--- the i logged off cos of lag---

 

i pm him when i got back then..

 

me: how bout you get me soft clay and i pay 30ea?

 

noob: ok cool

 

noob: i have a level 53 main. can you help me get full rune? i got pl8 and legs

 

me: rune full and kite?

 

noob: and a scim too

 

me: that's 100k..but if u get me 2k soft clay i'll give u any 2 item u want

 

noob: i want rune kite and scim

 

me: that's 15k more but ok cos i need the clay :P (i agreed cos i was impressed that someone's willing to work for stuff rather than beg)

 

 

 

--noob logs off-- after 20 minutes, he goes back on

 

 

 

noob: i got hacked (cos he said he got a level 53 main)

 

me: that happened to me too (sensing he's gonna ask for free stuff)

 

noob: can you help me get my stuff back?

 

me: well iron sells 100ea and it's fast to mine

 

noob: nah

 

me: well you can get your stuff back if you do skills

 

noob: im gonna stop playing runescape, they always hack me. cya forever...unless you wanna say something

 

me: and what should i say?

 

noob: help me get stuff

 

me: i told you to do skills but if you're going to ask for free stuff, i can't

 

noob: cya forever

 

 

 

 

 

<.< appeal to pity? like i care

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[brought to you by the Cult of the Sacred Crate]

17th to 99 Smithing OSRS

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Amazing. Nice stories all.

 

The best one I ever heard is:

 

 

 

noob: you must have no life, being 111

 

me: well if i had no life i would be quite dead no?

 

noob: you look poor

 

me: i look poor. so you consider the random runescape outfit to show richess?

 

noob: can i have some stuff?

 

me: You can find stuff at lvl 48 wildy.

 

noob: can u take me there?

 

me: no, i'm busy

 

noob: busy being noob i guess. wanna buy 100 k yews?

 

me: how the **** did you get 100 k yews

 

noob: I have a program.

 

 

 

After that I reported the poor noobie and only 2 days later i get a nice report message from jagex telling me they are grateful I helped them ban a macro account. That was quite amazing lol.

 

 

 

Greetz

 

Edhilthoniel

Edhilthoniel.

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Unable to finish what he started. Now he started again ^^

All right! That does it! Where did you hide my pink skirt!
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Amazing. Nice stories all.

 

The best one I ever heard is:

 

 

 

noob: you must have no life, being 111

 

me: well if i had no life i would be quite dead no?

 

noob: you look poor

 

me: i look poor. so you consider the random runescape outfit to show richess?

 

noob: can i have some stuff?

 

me: You can find stuff at lvl 48 wildy.

 

noob: can u take me there?

 

me: no, i'm busy

 

noob: busy being noob i guess. wanna buy 100 k yews?

 

me: how the **** did you get 100 k yews

 

noob: I have a program.

 

 

 

After that I reported the poor noobie and only 2 days later i get a nice report message from jagex telling me they are grateful I helped them ban a macro account. That was quite amazing lol.

 

 

 

Greetz

 

Edhilthoniel

 

*giigle* Nice one! I wish i would bet a confirmation on my reports sometime.. :evil:

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a few weeks ago, i was in draynor swamps, tryng to mine yews, but it was quite impossible as there were more than 10 macros on a yew -.-

 

I went to bank, and i got this level 5 pm'ing me:

 

Noob:Your a dog vomit

 

Me: who are you?

 

Noob: im 32 years old and am drunk you ****

 

Me: OK, bye

 

Noob: your the piss(somehow it didnt manage to censor) of a bird

 

 

 

As i remember i saw him on the trees, i went there, and he kept on sayng [cabbage] like: i own you / you smell of vomit adn stuff like that...i reported it and after a few seconds, a goblin he attacked killed him

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Okay, I went down to the stronghold to kill fleshcrawlers for slayer and this jerk decides to show up.

 

 

 

Noob:Neave Noob

 

Me:How about no, Jerk.

 

noob:Leave Now!

 

Me:why don't you try and make me?

 

Noob:look at u, lol

 

 

 

Then he logged out.

 

 

 

I thought that I could get away from idiots when I became member but apparently not. However, I've met many good members so there is some kindness in Runescape. I didn't let it spoil my fun, instead I've put him on ignore and went about my way.

Currently Going for...

99 firemaking

Current Progress-76/99

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noob: ur a noob

 

me: no ur a noob

 

noob: no u, im reporting u

 

me: o rly?

 

noob: ya rly

 

me: srsly?

 

noob: noob

 

*suddenly noob gets attacked by level 2 spider and gets owned badly, he drops 5 blue party hats, 2 whips and full dragon*

 

me: haha, noob

 

 

 

too bad, that's what this thread is degrading into

Runescape: Lodev (Combat level been fixed at 101 for years now, Total level 1500+, playing since march 2002)

Arenascape: Lode (Level 240+ Warlock)

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This happened a while ago before my main got banned:

 

 

 

N00b: Hey you (was referring to me), wanna get paid 2mil?

 

Me: Okay, sure...

 

N00b: Only equip your whip and follow me.

 

N00b: I want to prove to my friend that I'm a good pker.

 

N00b: Please pretend that I owned you in the wilderness.

 

Me: Okay. (I bring a pking set + 18 sharks inven. I knew it was a scam.. o.O)

 

 

 

*Walks to level 40 wilderness*

 

 

 

N00b: Ok, please don't run away.

 

 

 

*Gets my hitpoints down to 12 and trades*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I start attacking him with dds and whip. He gets owned. Since he attacked me, this is what he dropped:

 

 

 

4x dragon longswords

 

4x abbysal whips

 

20 cooked monkfish

 

 

 

A sweet victory! =D

 

 

 

He wasn't really a noob level-wise, but was a noob for dying with food and trying to scam me.

 

OMG NICE!

 

 

 

I sort of believe something like this happened except the 4x dragon longsword and 4x abbysal whip part.

 

 

 

He's obviously lying. Look at his signature, his account only has 60 Attack. :roll:

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i'm standing in lumbridge when a noob (lvl 3) comes up and says this:

 

 

 

Noob: I'm zezima

 

Me: no you're not

 

Noob: yes i am! i'm also n0va, lily, and broski!

 

Me. you're lying

 

Noob: i just got poisoned dragon claws!

 

Me: theres no such thing

 

Noob: Z0MG yes there are i have them on my main!

 

Noob: I just got poisoned dragon warhammer!

 

Me: there is no dragon warhammer... =/

 

Noob: i'll brb!!!!

 

 

 

*5 minutes later*

 

 

 

Noob: OMG OMG I just got rune armbands!!!

 

Me: (deciding to play along) ok i'll buy them

 

Noob: they're gold trimmed and poisoned!

 

Me: you're lying, theres no such thing

 

Noob: oh yea just watch me use them you n00b!!!!!!

 

 

 

*he puts on blue gloves and goes to fight a man. gets owned miserably. i pick up some of his stuff*

 

 

 

Noob: give me my stuff back!

 

Me: no, you died and i picked it up

 

Noob: OMG reported for item scamming, have fun being banned noob! i'm actually a mod!

 

Me: whatever.....

Expecting a good life because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge because you're a vegetarian.

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My RS Char is female, yet I'm male. I made my char female to see how people respond to a female char rather than a male char. Some people are automatically nice, some people are perverts. It's funny really.

 

 

 

I got this one time.

 

 

 

Him - "Nice bust"

 

Me - "Thanks mate, I'm a guy BTW"

 

Me - "You just stared at a man's bust"

 

 

 

Lol that was hilarious, but tis true many people react differently around girl characters in runescape :S But you just got to hate the false reporting... It really prevents Jagex from banning the people who are actually breaking rules...

:twisted: YoUr UnDeR ArReSt AnYtHiNg YoU SaY WiLl Be MiSqUoTeD AnD UsEd AgAiNsT YoU :twisted:

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This one's kinda funny:

 

 

 

wierdo: Ur bio?

 

Bio Raptor: Huh?

 

wierdo: Ur dumb and stupid and ur a lame nerd

 

wierdo: Get a life i hate u

 

Bio Raptor: That's not nice

 

wierdo: Ima kill u 2morrow

 

wierdo: Ima come 2 ur house and kill u wit a knife

 

Bio Raptor: Who's the stupid one now

 

wierdo: Lil boi dont talk smack bout me

 

wierdo: U think im joking huh

 

Bio Raptor: Lol

 

wierdo: Ur dead

 

 

 

:D

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If you ever see anyone attempting to impersonate a Jagex Staff member or any other player then we would ask you to use the 'Report Abuse' button located at the bottom of the screen, and follow the on screen prompts so that we can take the appropriate actions against their account.

 

 

 

Does that mean we can report anyone who says "My main is Zezima/Nova etc."? :3> \'

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this noob was folowing me around and he said that i was is freind now and he keep following me untill i ran away from him then he pmed me and said i was his only freind =D> he's still talking to me whilw i am playing i don't wanna block him cuz then he will have NO freinds

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i was just fighting gurard for some reason and this noob goes up to me

 

 

 

noob:i can own you!!

 

me:yeah right

 

noob:yes i can lets go into wild right now

 

me:alright

 

noob:i'm also bringing 45k with me cause i know you can't win

 

*we go into wild i slaughter him and i take his 45k*

 

noob:hey can i have i my 45k back i was kidding about owning you

 

me:yeah right

 

noob:my main is zezima!! i'll own you with him!

 

me:go ahead and try

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N0valyfe an idol to some, a great player to many, and a true runescaper to all

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this noob was folowing me around and he said that i was is freind now and he keep following me untill i ran away from him then he pmed me and said i was his only freind =D> he's still talking to me whilw i am playing i don't wanna block him cuz then he will have NO freinds

 

 

 

oh, don't be so nice. There's a reason he has no friends

"Dost hath not giveth thy name 'noob' to thy brethren...

...Or thou art must considereth thyself a noob as well."

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