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Noobs say the funniest things!


xXAbyssalXx

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noob: dief, give me your magic shield (its a black h5)

 

me : no

 

noob: you have to give it to me, i can get you deleted

 

me : really?

 

noob: yes, my brother dave owns runescape

 

me : your brother is Dave Jagex?

 

noob: yes

Elvarg the Magic Dragon, Lives by the sea...

He spends his days eating folk, And dies occasionally

 

Champion-Hero-Legend

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I forgot a better one

 

 

 

I'm fishing in the river between varrock and barbarian village, wearing frog hat and costume.

 

 

 

noob: give me your frog head

 

me : Its not a costume, its my charectars head

 

noob: wow, how you do that?

 

me : You can change to frog head after finnishing the frog mini-game in members.

 

noob: wow

 

 

 

5 minutes later in bank at varrod:

 

 

 

noob: i'm back to call you liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

me :

 

noob: gasp, what did you do?????

 

me : I cast the frog curse spell I got from completing mini game.

 

noob: no such thing in spell book!

 

me :Its in member's spell book.

 

me : when you least expect it, you'll be surrounded by killer frogs.

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

I logged out

 

 

 

A month later

 

 

 

noob: Help! I'm surrounded by frogs! Uncurse me!

Elvarg the Magic Dragon, Lives by the sea...

He spends his days eating folk, And dies occasionally

 

Champion-Hero-Legend

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I forgot a better one

 

 

 

I'm fishing in the river between varrock and barbarian village, wearing frog hat and costume.

 

 

 

noob: give me your frog head

 

me : Its not a costume, its my charectars head

 

noob: wow, how you do that?

 

me : You can change to frog head after finnishing the frog mini-game in members.

 

noob: wow

 

 

 

5 minutes later in bank at varrod:

 

 

 

noob: i'm back to call you liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

me :

 

noob: gasp, what did you do?????

 

me : I cast the frog curse spell I got from completing mini game.

 

noob: no such thing in spell book!

 

me :Its in member's spell book.

 

me : when you least expect it, you'll be surrounded by killer frogs.

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

I logged out

 

 

 

A month later

 

 

 

noob: Help! I'm surrounded by frogs! Uncurse me!

 

 

 

roflcopter. he dosn't know its a random

World of Warcraft... 14 votes...

 

the other 50 million are busy playing

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noob: selling lvl 84 account

 

me: :shame:

 

 

 

You see that everywhere on these days :-k

 

 

 

hurrah! i hade someone quote me \' \'

 

also:

 

 

 

Noob: give me you full rune or i report you!

 

guy: i can report you for misuse of customer support

 

noob: *logs out*

World of Warcraft... 14 votes...

 

the other 50 million are busy playing

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just happened to me.(I am in free to spend time with my best friend with my d b axe)

 

 

 

noob:nice mith axe

 

me:its dragon

 

noob:no they are mith

 

me:no they are dragon noob

 

noob:then show me in trade

 

me:they are untradeable in f2p

 

noob:i buy it for 2m

 

me:u dont have that mch noob

 

noob:my main is zezima and i have 10000billion

 

me:sure u are

 

noob:wait here i will get my main

 

me:ok

 

 

 

 

 

he never came back....

 

 

 

i think your the only noob there, dragon pick axe? get real.

 

 

 

i think you are the noob cus i said b axe=battle axe

 

well before you edited it it said pick axe, and it still doesn't say b axe any way, you really are a noob arn't you?

 

 

 

And you just happened to quote him after he edited it?

 

 

 

And how many other ways can you abbreviate dragon battleaxe?

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noob:can i buy ure red med

 

me:its a red halloween mask

 

noob:ill buy it

 

me:kk gimme a legends cape

 

noob:kk brb.....

 

*gos away*

 

*comes bak*

 

noob:sry lost it, will this do

 

*gos into trade*

 

noob: will this do*offers bronz pl8*?

rsn: Pker Mage214

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Me:(wearing full druid and desert beard-helm on f2p world) I am jesus worship me

 

Noob: OMG JESUS GIVE MEH 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 kazillion gp

 

Me:ok um first get all your freinds to folow me and worship me

 

Noob:Ok

 

(Three people come)

 

Noob: Ok all my friends are here give me my money.

 

Me:Lol noob I'm not jesus lol

 

Noob:OMG REPORTED FOR BEING A NOOB

 

Me:Um you can not report soemone for being a noob...

 

Noob:Yes you can my dad owns runescape lol have fun being banned noob.

 

Me:Yeah you have fun with that

 

 

 

Me:Ignore

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I Have one good story.

 

Noob: can i have 25k plz

 

Me: what?

 

Noob:plz, i need for runes

 

Me:what runes? I not know what runes is (l does know, not flame me)

 

Noob:plzzzzzzzz, 25k

 

Me: i have idea but it involve small work

 

Noob:ok tell me

 

Me:I need greek grape from six short slow shepherd

 

Noob:...

 

Noob:can you repeat it please?

 

Me:I said I need greek grape from six short slow shepherd

 

Noob:where i can find it?

 

Me:At lumbridge ( I at Fally)

 

Noob:ok (He use teleport to Lumbridge)

 

half hour later

 

Noob find me,

 

Noob:you lie, there are no such as Greek Grape, I want 25k

 

Me:No greek grape, no 25k

 

Noob: player said there are no such as Greek Grape

 

Me: well only 1% ppl know about this Greek Grape

 

Noob: report for item scamming

 

Me: ok

 

Noob:give 25k me i won't report

 

Me: go ahead report, you won't win.

 

Noob leave

 

 

 

By way, There are no such as Greek Grape from Six Short Slow Shepherd. I make it up. :thumbsup:

Correct answer for "is this a question?"

is "if it is a question then it is a answer!"

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This just happened whilst i was fly fishing in the barbarian village wearing full wizzy (g)

 

 

 

noob: I'll buy your armour

 

Me:nfs

 

Noob:nooooooob

 

*noob walks off*

 

Me:lmao

 

 

 

:lol:

 

 

 

And this just happened about 10 minutes after the last 1

 

 

 

Noob: um helo

 

Me:hi

 

Noob:how much for robes!

 

Me (thinking) here we go again <.<

 

Me:nfs sorry

 

Noob:noob

 

*noob walks off*

 

 

 

:-k is it me or does this happen to much :-s

My Blog

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Over 1800 Castle Wars Tickets..

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I forgot a better one

 

 

 

I'm fishing in the river between varrock and barbarian village, wearing frog hat and costume.

 

 

 

noob: give me your frog head

 

me : Its not a costume, its my charectars head

 

noob: wow, how you do that?

 

me : You can change to frog head after finnishing the frog mini-game in members.

 

noob: wow

 

 

 

5 minutes later in bank at varrod:

 

 

 

noob: i'm back to call you liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

me :

 

noob: gasp, what did you do?????

 

me : I cast the frog curse spell I got from completing mini game.

 

noob: no such thing in spell book!

 

me :Its in member's spell book.

 

me : when you least expect it, you'll be surrounded by killer frogs.

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

noob: liar!

 

I logged out

 

 

 

A month later

 

 

 

noob: Help! I'm surrounded by frogs! Uncurse me!

 

 

 

One of the funniest things ive seen on this thread.

I shall take my flock underneath my own wing, and kick them right the [bleep] out of the tree. If they were meant to fly, they won't break their necks on the concrete.
So, what is 1.111... equal to?

10/9.

 

Please don't continue.

wm1c2w.jpg

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=;

 

 

 

 

 

(at this point I turned off public chat and had no idea what he said, he continued to follow me, i'm sure was talking although I couldnt hear him..I eventually teleported to loose the idiot)

 

 

 

 

I love doing that to noobs who want "free stuff plz."

 

Shame is, some of them have that one more brain cell than other noobs so they spam you on pm. Good 'ol blocker 8-)

 

 

 

In this case I use ignore list so i can still recive pm, and never worry about that person again :thumbsup:

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A while back my cousin my cousin and I were mining coal together to pass the time.

 

 

 

My cousin, a boy with a female character, managed to get hacked while we were mining. Someone logs him off. Five seconds later the character comes back on and I had this conversation with the hacker.

 

 

 

Me: "Hey, welcome back."

 

Hacker: "Hey."

 

Me: "What happened?"

 

Hacker:" My internet lagged to much so it logged me off."

 

 

 

My cousin has broadband.

 

 

 

Me:" What?!? How?"

 

Hacker:"I dunno."

 

Hacker:" Wann be my bf?"

 

Me:" What?!?!?!?!? Sicko!"

 

Hacker: "What, are you gay or something?!?"

 

 

 

Its then I realized it was not my cousin.

 

 

 

Me:"Wow, that took like 2 minutes."

 

Hacker:"What do you mean?"

 

Me:"I'm talking to the real owner of that account on the phone, right now."

 

Hacker:" I'm reporting you!"

 

Me: "Sorry, I just changed his password and recovery questions."

 

Hacker: "What are you talking about sexy?, don't you want to be my bf?"

 

-Reported Hacker.-

 

Me:"The owner of that account is 11. I' not a pedofile. "

 

Hacker:" But I'm 18, I swear!"

 

Me:"Secondly, the owner is my cousin. And I'm not a fan of sodomy."

 

 

 

The hacker ran off, but I followed him.

 

 

 

Me: "Thirdly, the owner is a boy. And, no, I'm not gay."

 

 

 

Hacker logged off, 40 seconds later my cousin logs back on.

 

 

 

Cousin:" I wodner who that was."

 

Me: "i dunno, but Jagex has his IP. :P "

 

 

 

this is probably fake, i know from experience that in game, u can not say sexy or pedofile, trust me a bunch of pedo's message me in game all the time

 

60+ugnore list <.<

zezima.png

 

thanks for the cropping Mr Joob =]

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noob: pwnt

 

noob2: no ur pwnt

 

noob: i pwnt u

 

noob2: ur moma pwns u

 

noob: my mummy pwns urs

 

noob3: ur both noobs

 

noob: no ur a noob

 

noob2: com 2 wildy i pwn u

 

they all go to wildy and... all 3 get pwned by a 4th noob

Runescape: Lodev (Combat level been fixed at 101 for years now, Total level 1500+, playing since march 2002)

Arenascape: Lode (Level 240+ Warlock)

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This wasnt really a convo i had, but its still funny.

 

Ok, my friends lil sis had just entered the amazing world of runescape, and i said id go and meet er. She was at goblin village, and there was loads of noobs around her. A noob (not my friends lil sis) got a random event, and it said something like "Hello there (Noobs Nmae, forgot what it was lol)", as they usually do. And the noob said hi back, lol. He thought that it was someone else, lol.

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ha ha, ive got a good 1

 

ok, so i was at the rockcrabs in rellekka(sry if spelling is bad)

 

and there are always pures there, i was bored, and so i mentioned the old night, and we talked about how it was impressive how he has 99 in all stats, i said " yea, too bad he's dead

 

pure1: no he's not u noob!

 

pure2: yea, i talk to him all the time

 

me: he's dead, check tip.it, i do beleave it was some kind of heart condition (correct me if im wrong)

 

pure1: omfg u n33b, he's not dead

 

me: yes he is, why dont u think so?

 

pure2: ****** (spellled it out later in periods, he said stalker)

 

me: how am i a stalker?

 

pure1: because u learn everything aobut him, jees weirdo.

 

me: o, so im a stalker becasue i read bulletin messages, and i check forums?

 

pures2: omg, get away weirdo

 

me (talking to firend) yea, my brother knew the old nights son,)(my bro really does too lol, they dont talk any more tho)

 

(pures 1 and 2 come up to me)

 

pure1: omfg he dosent have a son noob.

 

pure2 yea noob

 

(at that point i had it with them, and trained on rock crabs on water birth)

zezima.png

 

thanks for the cropping Mr Joob =]

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noob: can u whack me with a chicken?

 

me: i dont have 1.....

 

noob: o ok here

 

*noob trades me raw chicken*

 

me: errr wat i do with this

 

noob:whack me

 

me: errrr wrong chicken pal

 

*cooks chicken*

 

*eats chicken*

 

noob :can i have my chicken back

 

me: ate it srry

 

noob: omfg scammer im reporting u!

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noob: pwnt

 

noob2: no ur pwnt

 

noob: i pwnt u

 

noob2: ur moma pwns u

 

noob: my mummy pwns urs

 

noob3: ur both noobs

 

noob: no ur a noob

 

noob2: com 2 wildy i pwn u

 

they all go to wildy and... all 3 get pwned by a 4th noob

 

 

 

Uhhh... :-s

 

 

 

Saw someone "buying an attack ammy" ::'

 

And... here's a good conversation. I was selling something "only if the price was high enough" and this guy Pm's me:

 

 

 

Him: do u even smoke weed or r u one of those loosers who act like u do

 

Me: Huh?

 

Him: u said u would sell something if u wer high enough

 

Me: Oh wow, do you use hooked on phonics or something?

 

The rest is pretty much him flaming me for misspelling something WHICH I CORRECTED MYSELF ON. The he said I needed Hooked on Phonics.

 

Me: With that grammar? Please. You obviously do.

 

Him: omg noob

 

 

 

I found him, he was, of course, lower leveled than me. Not that it really makes a difference.. whatever. :-k

neraftdfw1.jpg

 

Sig credit goes to ThruItAll. :D

 

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This is one one my convos from when I was level 18 or so...man its embarrassing:

 

 

 

Nooby Friend 1:You know that black armour with gold rims, thats dragon (he had just become a member, but...)

 

Me:Cool

 

 

 

Some time later, me and two more of my nooby friends were standing outside Varrock chatting...

 

 

 

Me:...and so I think I'll go kill goblins at Port Sarim to get up to 25

 

(Some guy in black g walks up)

 

Nooby Friend 2: Hey, cool armour, I'll buy it!

 

Me (showing off):Noob, there's no way you could afford that, its dragon (:oops: )

 

Guy: Yeah, thats right

 

Me:Its worth like 500k ( :oops: :oops: )

 

Nooby Friend 2: Ooooooooo :shock:

 

Nooby Friend 3:I could afford that my main is Zezima etc etc etc...

 

 

 

 

 

Sigh, those were the days.

 

 

 

Btw mods, this topic is so big and ongoing, would it be worth turning into a sticky?

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Great topic :)

 

 

 

********->misi_a_k: yes you win runescape akcion i is from jagex i is moderator

 

misi_a_k: i want.. i allways wanted to be

 

misi_a_k: what i have to do to get it?

 

********->misi_a_k: if you want to be a member,answer our questions ok?

 

misi_a_k: ok

 

********->misi_a_k: country you live in

 

********->misi_a_k: ?

 

misi_a_k: russia

 

********->misi_a_k: what?

 

********->misi_a_k: russia

 

misi_a_k: yep.. big between europe and asia

 

********->misi_a_k: you lenguage is sk no?

 

misi_a_k: well i live in russia

 

********->misi_a_k: ok

 

********->misi_a_k: and you *-****

 

misi_a_k: what?

 

********->misi_a_k: *-m-a-i-*-

 

********->misi_a_k: you *-****

 

misi_a_k: i cant read it.. :(

 

********->misi_a_k: you a-mail

 

********->misi_a_k: e-

 

********->misi_a_k: mail

 

********->misi_a_k: you

 

misi_a_k: ahh... i c..

 

misi_a_k: my ***** is [email protected]

 

********->misi_a_k: what?you *-(mail)

 

********->misi_a_k: what?

 

********->misi_a_k: you reported moderator ok i deleted you account from runescape

 

misi_a_k: kk i am afraid

 

misi_a_k: blah blah blah

 

********->misi_a_k: freands?

 

misi_a_k: why?

 

********->misi_a_k: freands?

 

misi_a_k: do i know u?

 

********->misi_a_k: ok?

 

********->misi_a_k: do you want to be a free member?

 

misi_a_k: yes i want

 

********->misi_a_k: ok

 

misi_a_k: so am i a member now?

 

********->misi_a_k: if you want to be a member,answer our questions

 

misi_a_k: ok.. ask

 

********->misi_a_k: country you live in

 

misi_a_k: russia

 

********->misi_a_k: ok

 

********->misi_a_k: and

 

misi_a_k: and?

 

********->misi_a_k: you pass?

 

misi_a_k: my pass is *******

 

********->misi_a_k: what?

 

misi_a_k: ******

 

misi_a_k: jagex block it.. didn`t u know?

 

misi_a_k: jagex block it.. didn`t u know?

 

misi_a_k: so am i member now?

 

********->misi_a_k: i and all moderators is top secred

 

********->misi_a_k: i have need you good pass

 

misi_a_k: so u are a mod?

 

********->misi_a_k: you pass?

 

********->misi_a_k: only you pass

 

misi_a_k: just give me 3 minutes

 

********->misi_a_k: please you pass i mussed registrated you from member

 

********->misi_a_k: ok?

 

********->misi_a_k: misi a k please you pass i muss you registratet for member

 

misi_a_k: my pass is "reported"

 

********->misi_a_k: realy?

 

misi_a_k: yep

 

********->misi_a_k: after you log on tomorrou you be a member

 

********->misi_a_k: now you have log out ok?

 

********->misi_a_k: ok?

 

misi_a_k: after u log.. u will be banned :D

 

********->misi_a_k: hahaha

 

misi_a_k: didn` u catch the point?

 

********->misi_a_k: i have anti-reported program i is moderator lol

 

misi_a_k: ur such a noob :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so i loged out.. to eat dinner and to stop laughting. I just wonder how someone so stupid can use privat messages

 

 

 

now.. i get perm banned for that.. cos i asked for his password.. can someone tell me where? :wall: :x :-k cos only jagex know.. :evil:

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Once me and my clan owned this noob in the wild and then he pms me back asking for a rematch lol.

 

what nub about that? i always do that when they go 10 x a lvl 100 on a lvl 94... :P i won dms from 105's so why couldnt i beat 6 lvls higher...

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^^ click my sig for my lesser ranging guide ^^

jwrm22: 4816th > 99 cooking 100% f2p !1172 total! + 140mil in items.

i dont play anymore... i think rs is ruined

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I dont know if anyone remembers when they had the message of the week, "theres a real world out there, go try it sometime." While editing this picture, I noticed that I recognized the posters name from these forums. Hes not really a noob, but he can post himself if he wants people to know about his little practical joke :)

 

 

 

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